I am a shield, not a sword

My name is Castiel. I was once an Angel of the Lord. Now, I am only an angel. I have sinned, and now, at most, I consider myself a shield. I shall protect those I care about with all that I am, and that is all that I have left.

[dontscratchtheimpala]

"We probably shouldn't be doing this.. " (theshieldofhumanity)

"Aww, come on Cas, it’ll be okay."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel looked up at Dean and gave the smallest of smiles, reaching up to thread his fingers around Dean’s collar. “If you’re certain…I would hate for us to be caught.” 

[dontscratchtheimpala]

"We saw ourselves, the building was empty," he pulls Castiel that little bit closer. "…we on’t get caught."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Is sex in an elevator on your bucket list, Dean Winchester?" Castiel teased before brushing their lips together. 

[dontscratchtheimpala]

"We probably shouldn't be doing this.. " (theshieldofhumanity)

"Aww, come on Cas, it’ll be okay."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel looked up at Dean and gave the smallest of smiles, reaching up to thread his fingers around Dean's collar. "If you're certain...I would hate for us to be caught." 

[just-me-and-the-tv]

[thishasbeencary]

☂ (theshieldofhumanity)

[x]

☂:Your muse walks in on my muse crying

He maybe even found it a little bit pathetic, how hard it was for him to stop the tears once they had gotten started. He had just been in the bunker, pot over the oven, thinking, and then bam! He’d been alone for a few minutes, but the burning smell had to be noticeable by now, and he just left the pan where it was once the oven was off, not facing the doorway. “It’s under control,” But his voice was strained from the tears.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel felt Dean’s anguish from the moment he arrived, and after he checked to make sure the kitchen was not on fire, he went to Dean’s side. He laid a hand on his shoulder, a gesture he’d come to understand could be used to offer comfort as well as claim attention. 

"Talk to me."

[thishasbeencary]

The tears started up again when he felt Cas’s hand on his shoulder, knowing who it was who was trying to take care of him. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the cabinet in front of him, turning the oven off and bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes, to get the tears away.

"I’m fine, Cas," He said quietly, in a voice that didn’t even try to mask the lie.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Resistance is futile, Dean." Castiel murmured, the tiniest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I am a celestial being. I can be infinitely stubborn, I'd required."

He lowered his hand from Dean's shoulder to the space between his shoulder blades, from where the Hunter's well-deserved wings would have spread. It was a simple, but weighted gesture...if Dean were an angel. But he was not, so it did not matter.

[thishasbeencary]

☂ (theshieldofhumanity)

[x]

☂:Your muse walks in on my muse crying

He maybe even found it a little bit pathetic, how hard it was for him to stop the tears once they had gotten started. He had just been in the bunker, pot over the oven, thinking, and then bam! He’d been alone for a few minutes, but the burning smell had to be noticeable by now, and he just left the pan where it was once the oven was off, not facing the doorway. “It’s under control,” But his voice was strained from the tears.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel felt Dean's anguish from the moment he arrived, and after he checked to make sure the kitchen was not on fire, he went to Dean's side. He laid a hand on his shoulder, a gesture he'd come to understand could be used to offer comfort as well as claim attention. 

"Talk to me."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Yall need to write one..." she shook her head smiling softly. "It's alright. I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." rei looked up to him. "I'm so lucky to have you."

"It's all right." Castiel murmured, moving around her to slide his hands along her wings. Grey feathers came away in his hands, littering the floor, and he reached underneath to the soft down, scratching gently.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"O-Oh..." She blinked her cheeks slowly turning pink. She had never thought of that. "Um.. there wouldn't happen to be um.. like a wing handbook or something would there?"

"I...no." Castiel swallowed hard. "I can scratch them for you if you like. Your scent isn't that prominent yet. And I can answer whatever questions you have." 

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Reianna blinked when he stepped back. Had she asked something she shouldnt? He had groomed her wings when she first got them so she didn't think there was anything wrong. Then again she didn't know alot. She looked down glancing at her feet. "A-Ah it's okay...." she said softly.

"I apologize..." Castiel said softly. "Helping before was different, but now...your wings are maturing. The oil that your wings will now secrete...indicates to other angels that you are now a viable mate."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Oooh okay!" Reianna said, quite relieved herself. "In that case would you itch them please? They are driving me nutty."

Castiel opened his mouth as if to say something, taking a nervous step back. "I...I shouldn't..."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Well.. um.. my feathers.. are sorta.. falling out..." she said shyly, showing him a handful of tiny fluffy grey feathers.

"Oh..." Castiel smiled, relieved. "That's normal, Reianna. You are simply moulting." 

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Cas... I need some help..."

"Rei...what's wrong?"

[thekingsparty]

A Special Kind of Deal

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"If I knew how this worked, Crowley, I would be happy to explain." Castiel said softly, laying his hand over Crowley’s. "I can clearly sense two separate Graces within my own. I can only speculate that it’s the combination of Angelic Grace and Demonic Sin that is caused the split."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

thekingsparty

"Always glad to hear you actually know what's happening inside of you." Crowley rolled his eyes, entwining their fingers. "Well two's always better than one." he gave small shrug.

One weapon of mass destruction or two?Did you have to ask?

"Does that change anything for you? I don't think they'll be fine with half the Grace they usually need? Will you need more of my blood?" Crowley asked a little worried. Castiel's grace would now not only taken for one fledgling but two..

Castiel frowned, his brow furrowing as he thought about the possible complications with his Grace, now that he was having twins. Supporting the essence of two fledglings rather than simply one would increase the strain on his already fragile Grace. 

"I...I may need more blood..." Castiel said, speaking as if the words were being pulled from clenched teeth. 

He didn't like the way he felt after he drank from Crowley. More than stabilizing his Grace, it brought out basal desires with which he was intensely unfamiliar. He enjoyed companionship. He enjoyed the physical comfort that he demanded from Crowley as part of their deal. But when he drank his blood, the desire became intensely...feral. More than affection, he wanted Crowley carnally. He wanted to own him...or be owned. He wasn't entirely sure which. So far he had held himself back from embarrassing himself, but if he had to increase the amount of blood he was drinking, he wasn't sure how well he'd be able to maintain his composure. 

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

The Road from Perdition // closed for greeneyedjerk

Castiel had known what would happened when he placed Dean's soul back in his renewed body. He had closed his eyes, gently lifting the bright soul from it's safe place inside his Grace, and he lowered it back into his body. As he did so, he had known all the precious memories of the past few months would wash away, and that the man who crawled out from the ground would not remember the angel that had pulled him free from his captors. 

Don't dig me out of my grave, Cas. I wanna see if I can get out on my own.

Castiel had stayed close, nonetheless, to make sure Dean made it out safely. He had followed closely, but now he stood outside the barn where Dean and the man he called father, Bobby Singer. His Grace was still too scattered to settle into his vessel, and the metal off the barn reacted, creating sparks between his Grace and the lights. He clenched his jaw when he saw Dean, feeling his Grace clench in longing when his mate saw him and did not recognize him. He had known this was coming. He had known.

It didn't make it any easier.

[findacauseandserveit]

Quiet Me (theshieldofhumanity)

Leave a “Quiet Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character trying to calm yours down [be it from crying, from lashing out, feel free to specify.]

Meg didn’t know what had happened but when Castiel showed back up at the Bunker, He went straight to his room and began flipping things over. The Winchesters weren’t home and The demon had come out of her room when she heard the ruckus. When she got to Castiel’s open door, The Mattress was no longer touching the rest of his bed and was thrown against one of the walls. Paper scattered on the floor. 

She wasn’t sure if she should step in or just stay out of the way. Meg decided to step in. “Hey Hey Hey!” she almost had to shout over all the fuss he was making. Her arms wrapped around him into a tight hug. “It’s going to be alright, Castiel. It’s going to be alright. I got you.” He almost jumped at the touch of her but then looked down at her. He stopped his path of destruction and crumbled beneath the demon. The both of them fell against the mattress to the floor and He let Meg hold him. She rocked him back and forth, smoothing his hair back as she murmured comforting words to him. 

"It’s gonna be alright, Castiel. I got you. I got you." 

[findacauseandserveit]

The sound that came from him nearly broke her. To see how much pain he was in and knowing that she couldn’t do anything about it, made her feel awful. Meg wished she could take the pain away from him and put it on herself. And what a strange thing to wish for. Castiel was an Angel and she was a Demon. For a demon to care so much for an Angel, let alone anybody was a miracle. If Lucifer saw her now, she’d be disowned and probably taken to be tortured. But she didn’t care. The once enemy that got on her nerves was now the one person she cared most about. 

She rubbed his back and pulled him closer. The dark haired demon pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. “I’m not gonna lie. I feel awful that I can’t do more Castiel.” 

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel shuddered as she pulled him closer, and he shifted against her, pressing himself against her skin as if he might burn all the boundaries between them away. He needed to feel that companionship, that intimacy that he'd been afforded for so long with his brothers and sisters. He slid his hands beneath the back of her shirt, pressing his palms against her skin as if he might burrow right into her and let them become one. 

Tilting his head back, Castiel looked up at her, meeting her gaze. "Just...stay with me?" 

[dontscratchtheimpala]

Kindle the Breath // closed - theshieldofhumanity

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel smiled gently, constantly amused by how little Dean seemed to think him capable of. “Dean, you wouldn’t have to worry about a lack of oxygen. I am a celestial being.”

[dontscratchtheimpala]

Dean assumed Cas had a way to make that so. "Why don't you surprise me?" He smiled before kissing Cas softly.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel blushed pink at the soft kiss, then took Dean's hand, threading their fingers together. "Don't be scared." 

A moment later, they stood a thousand miles above the Earth's surface, somewhere between Earth and its Moon. The Earth beneath them filled the sky, blue oceans beneath swirling clouds. 

[dontscratchtheimpala]

[dontscratchtheimpala]

Dean blinks. “Mars? You can seriously go to Mars?”

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"I can go anywhere," Castiel murmured. "The lack of air and gravity does not restrict me. I require neither for survival. However, the winds on the majority of the other planets would make...

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel smiled gently, constantly amused by how little Dean seemed to think him capable of. "Dean, you wouldn't have to worry about a lack of oxygen. I am a celestial being."

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

[jamaisgrandi-archive]

Lucifer shook his head slightly. “No… I didn’t. I don’t know how this war started. One second everything’s fine, there’s no unrest and then… I’ve mourned more of our brothers and sisters than I should have. It has to end.”

He put a hand on Castiel’s. “And I feel like there’s…

[jamaisgrandi-archive]

"Castiel… I wish there was. But I honestly don’t think there is any other way. It wouldn’t be much of a fight anyway." He kissed Castiel’s forehead. "Do you know where we go? I’ve heard Purgatory, but… I’ve never seen any of our brothers and sisters there." He asked, his voice shaking.

He closed his eyes and locked his arms behind Castiel’s lower back. “Michael won’t listen to me, he’s too stubborn and even more self-righteous. I can’t sneak into Heaven. I don’t see anything else I can do. The Host will execute me if they find me. I’m sorry, love.” He swallowed.

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel wrapped his arms around Lucifer’s shoulders, clinging to him tightly, afraid of losing him when he had only just found him. He pulled back slowly, brushing their lips together, cupping Lucifer’s jaw and caressing his cheek.

"We’ll find a way," Castiel promised, swallowing his pain. "If I have learned one thing from humanity, it is that we do not simply lay down and let Fate destroy us. We’ll find a way."

[jamaisgrandi-archive]

Lucifer leaned into Castiel’s touch slightly, clinging to the feeling of being loved. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore… There are no orders coming from anywhere and I’m not in the Cage and I just… I don’t know what to do.”

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

Castiel smiled then, sliding his fingers into Lucifer’s hair. “Isn’t that what you wanted, my light? Our brothers and sisters free to make their own choices? Yes, it is chaos, but we are free. Don’t humans deserve the same chance? We’re doing no better than them without guidance. Father is gone, but we don’t have to follow his plans anymore. We walk away. Without you to fight, what will Michael do?”

[jamaisgrandi-archive]

Lucifer swallowed. “I wanted freedom, but now that I have it… I don’t know what to do with it.” He sighed and closed his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. “Michael doesn’t know I’m alive. If he finds out, I’m dead…” He opened his eyes. “I don’t want to force you to hide with me.”

[theshieldofhumanity-blog]

"Lucifer," Castiel's voice was firm, despite how the younger angel stood to counter the archangel. "Long ago, the decision whether or not to stand with you was stolen from me. I will not let you do the same once again. If we must hide, then we shall hide. We will take this war far away from those it would harm, and we will do it together."