TheSleepyAce

This blog is run by an Agender Asexual

[awesome-picz]

Hilarious Cat Snapchats That Will Leave You With The Biggest Smile (part 2)

[takarnage-entourage]

Do y’all ever feel like a toddler trying to take care of itself

[takarnage-entourage]

Like I just spent 30 mins eating random unsatisfying snacks until I finally figured out I was just thirsty

[zay4ik]

[what-eats-owls]

IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT DAD

GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUHHHHHHHH

[what-eats-owls]

the saga continues

[what-eats-owls]

the thrilling conclusion:

EDIT: I AM AN AIRHEAD AND FORGOT TO CREDIT @pixiepunch FOR INSPIRING THE THIRD INSTALLMENT. I MAY HAVE BEEN A FEW DRINKS IN WHEN I POSTED. 

[what-eats-owls]

Dusting this off for the last time. Rise, my art son.

[begitalarcos]

365 Days of Beautiful Men // Day 288 // LeVar Burton

[catchymemes]

[baddeststudpapi]

Pinky was really the homie even when Brain was an ass about shit

[rudeassbeach]

This legit made my heart warm

[awesome-picz]

Hilarious Cat Snapchats That Will Leave You With The Biggest Smile ( part 1)

[everythingfox]

Mei.Meows

[recklessmoss]

𝚆 𝚘 𝚛 𝚖   𝚘 𝚏 𝚏   𝚝 𝚑 𝚎    𝚜 𝚝 𝚛 𝚒 𝚗 𝚐 

 𝚆 𝚑 𝚊 𝚝   𝚂 𝚒 𝚗 𝚜   𝚠 𝚒 𝚕 𝚕   𝚑 𝚎   𝚌 𝚘 𝚖 𝚖 𝚒 𝚝

[the-side-blog777]

@strange-aeons

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*finishes a roll of wrapping paper* oh shit free weapon

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bo

[wizardposting666]

[nicehatgeorgia]

The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

[nicehatgeorgia]

Today we were walking along and he asked me “How many Octobers is it today?” I told him it was the 21st. 

He tried a bite of his hot soup at dinner and made a face and said “Mama, my soup is a little too temperature for me.”

[nicehatgeorgia]

Upon being served 1% milk for the first time, instead of his regular 2%: “is this water?”

Me: “no, it’s milk”

Kid: “but are you sure?”

[nicehatgeorgia]

Came up to me the other day, the middle of his pants totally soaked, and said “mama, I’m having a situation called ‘I peed in my pants.’”

[nicehatgeorgia]

I don’t think I even told you guys about the six months he spent saying “fuck” instead of “truck.”

[dankmemeuniversity]

[roxilalonde-deactivated20251105]

when i say “i don’t like drama” what i really mean is “i don’t want to have my own drama.” your drama, on the other hand,  

[hehebwai]

This is it. This is the post.

[kaijuno]

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[friendlyfrankenstein]

This all makes me so, so, so happy. 

[tittily]

once again it’s that time of year where my brother puts up the Holiday Decoration

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Every year, this post surprises me and I laugh.

[kaijuno]

There’s a lot to see here