This is Your Sky God, Speaking

Good evening, this is First Officer Douglas Richardson. Just to let you know, we are now making our final preparations to fly you to the moon. While we’re airbourne I do hope you’ll take advantage of the opportunity to play among the stars. Those of you sitting on the left-hand side of the aircraft should have an excellent view of what spring is like on Jupiter, and on the right-hand side— Mars. In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me. Cabin doors to automatic. ((Independent RP blog for Douglas Richardson from Cabin Pressure. This is my secondary blog to theneuroticcaptain, so I may screw up and reblog with that on accident. Mun and (obviously) muse are both of age. Multifandom friendly!))

[halorvic]

I think what we may be witnessing here is Arthur attempting to describe something with an adjective other than “brilliant.”

[onedaymytardiswillcome]

Cabin Pressure isn’t ending because Douglas will do something clever and everything will be alright 

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

So I hear you and our dear captain are daddies-to-be. Congratulations. I knew Martin had it in him to get some tail. Given, I didn't expect it to be your tail. (thesmarmyfirstofficer)

Oh, hi, Douglas! Yeah, we’re going to be parents, it’s brilliant! Did Mum tell you? Or Skip? Because I didn’t, it’s a secret, ar at least it was, because now you know and I can talk about it.

I don’t think Skip’s got a tail. Neither of us has, actually. And I’ve been looking really carefully at Skip’s b… at Skip, so I’m definitely, definitely really sure about that.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Douglas, why don’t you like Herc anymore?

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

Arthur, whenever was there a time when I did like Herc? I cannot possibly tolerate that nose-in-the-air, let’s-all-pretend-I’m-20-years-younger-than-I-am, overly-and-misplacedly-confident air of his. Most of him actually is air, I think.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Skip says it’s because of your competitive thinking.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I would wager the Captain would be correct. But mostly Herc does his very best to be intolerable.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

And Mum says it’s because you’re jealous!

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I am most certainly not jealous of Hercules 'My Farts Smell of Flowers Since That's All I Eat' Shipwright.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

So I hear you and our dear captain are daddies-to-be. Congratulations. I knew Martin had it in him to get some tail. Given, I didn't expect it to be your tail. (thesmarmyfirstofficer)

Oh, hi, Douglas! Yeah, we’re going to be parents, it’s brilliant! Did Mum tell you? Or Skip? Because I didn’t, it’s a secret, ar at least it was, because now you know and I can talk about it.

I don’t think Skip’s got a tail. Neither of us has, actually. And I’ve been looking really carefully at Skip’s b… at Skip, so I’m definitely, definitely really sure about that.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I have been bringing my own meals. Herc has so kindly offered to prepare meals for the two of us, but seeing as I like to eat something a little more than leaves and over-priced sparkling water, I have taken the initiative to feed myself.

Trust me. I would prefer you and Martin to Captain Holier-Than-Thou Shipwright any day.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Douglas, why don’t you like Herc anymore?

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

Arthur, whenever was there a time when I did like Herc? I cannot possibly tolerate that nose-in-the-air, let’s-all-pretend-I’m-20-years-younger-than-I-am, overly-and-misplacedly-confident air of his. Most of him actually is air, I think.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Skip says it’s because of your competitive thinking.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I would wager the Captain would be correct. But mostly Herc does his very best to be intolerable.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

So I hear you and our dear captain are daddies-to-be. Congratulations. I knew Martin had it in him to get some tail. Given, I didn't expect it to be your tail. (thesmarmyfirstofficer)

Oh, hi, Douglas! Yeah, we’re going to be parents, it’s brilliant! Did Mum tell you? Or Skip? Because I didn’t, it’s a secret, ar at least it was, because now you know and I can talk about it.

I don’t think Skip’s got a tail. Neither of us has, actually. And I’ve been looking really carefully at Skip’s b… at Skip, so I’m definitely, definitely really sure about that.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Hey! That’s not nice! Who’s doing the catering for you now? Because Mum said she certainly wouldn’t feed you. Do you have to do it by yourself?

And aren’t you a bit bored when Skip and I aren’t there to keep you entertained?

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I have been bringing my own meals. Herc has so kindly offered to prepare meals for the two of us, but seeing as I like to eat something a little more than leaves and over-priced sparkling water, I have taken the initiative to feed myself.

Trust me. I would prefer you and Martin to Captain Holier-Than-Thou Shipwright any day.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Douglas, why don’t you like Herc anymore?

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

Arthur, whenever was there a time when I did like Herc? I cannot possibly tolerate that nose-in-the-air, let's-all-pretend-I'm-20-years-younger-than-I-am, overly-and-misplacedly-confident air of his. Most of him actually is air, I think.

[bluebatwingstheog]

"God moves in mysterious ways in order to do lovely things for Douglas Richardson."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+5

"Are you going to just stand there, or did you need something?"

[mollyinthespidersweb-deactivate]

"Well since you put it that way, I’m going to stand here. Probably in your way."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Hey now, no reason to get aggressive. What's your name, Miss?"

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

So I hear you and our dear captain are daddies-to-be. Congratulations. I knew Martin had it in him to get some tail. Given, I didn't expect it to be your tail. (thesmarmyfirstofficer)

Oh, hi, Douglas! Yeah, we’re going to be parents, it’s brilliant! Did Mum tell you? Or Skip? Because I didn’t, it’s a secret, ar at least it was, because now you know and I can talk about it.

I don’t think Skip’s got a tail. Neither of us has, actually. And I’ve been looking really carefully at Skip’s b… at Skip, so I’m definitely, definitely really sure about that.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

Oh, have you now?

It’s an expression, Arthur. And Carolyn did fill me in on the situation, yes. Of course I knew something was awry when Herc began filling in for Martin during our flights for the past month. And your absence on GERTI was noticed (and arguably was an improvement to the atmosphere), Carolyn was actually attending every flight; naturally, it had something to do with your relationship with Martin.

I was baffled, as you can imagine, but your mother supplied enough evidence for me to believe it was truth, and our captain wasn’t blowing a bit of gas and bloating due to your unique cuisine out of proportion.

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

Hey! That’s not nice! Who’s doing the catering for you now? Because Mum said she certainly wouldn’t feed you. Do you have to do it by yourself?

And aren’t you a bit bored when Skip and I aren’t there to keep you entertained?

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

I have been bringing my own meals. Herc has so kindly offered to prepare meals for the two of us, but seeing as I like to eat something a little more than leaves and over-priced sparkling water, I have taken the initiative to feed myself.

Trust me. I would prefer you and Martin to Captain Holier-Than-Thou Shipwright any day.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+ 5

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Quite lucky for you indeed, Mr. Baggins," Douglas said with a nod. "If you don’t mind my asking, how did you get into fencing, anyway? It’s a bit of a posh recreation, isn’t it? You appear quite humble, so I’m going to assume you weren’t brought up on it."

[thefencingprof]

"Our family was well enough off, but I got into fencing while Dad was trying to entice me into different sports. Football and rugby didn’t interest me and the son of a client of his did fencing so he took me to one of John’s tournaments and I got hooked. Kept with it for years and eventually went to the Olympics in ‘96 and 2000."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Impressive," Douglas admitted with raised eyebrows. "Must cost a fortune to be taught by an Olympian. Where do you work? Oxford? Or your own private practise?"

[thefencingprof]

"I’m a professor of European History at Oxford. I also oversee the fencing club as well and I do private lessons on the side. Needed the extra income to raise my nephew after his parents died." Bill said matter of factly.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Oh my," Douglas said, his brow furrowed slightly. "Deeply sorry for your loss," he murmured genuinely and cleared his throat. "That must be challenging, then. Being an Oxford professor and taking on a child. I know it was tough with my hours at Air England, being a part of my daughter's life."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+ 5

[thefencingprof]

"Just glad I left a couple of days early for my fencing tournament. Should still have time to get in some practice before the first match."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Quite lucky for you indeed, Mr. Baggins," Douglas said with a nod. "If you don’t mind my asking, how did you get into fencing, anyway? It’s a bit of a posh recreation, isn’t it? You appear quite humble, so I’m going to assume you weren’t brought up on it."

[thefencingprof]

"Our family was well enough off, but I got into fencing while Dad was trying to entice me into different sports. Football and rugby didn’t interest me and the son of a client of his did fencing so he took me to one of John’s tournaments and I got hooked. Kept with it for years and eventually went to the Olympics in ‘96 and 2000."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Impressive," Douglas admitted with raised eyebrows. "Must cost a fortune to be taught by an Olympian. Where do you work? Oxford? Or your own private practise?"

[wingcommanderarthurshappey-deac]

So I hear you and our dear captain are daddies-to-be. Congratulations. I knew Martin had it in him to get some tail. Given, I didn't expect it to be your tail. (thesmarmyfirstofficer)

Oh, hi, Douglas! Yeah, we’re going to be parents, it’s brilliant! Did Mum tell you? Or Skip? Because I didn’t, it’s a secret, ar at least it was, because now you know and I can talk about it.

I don’t think Skip’s got a tail. Neither of us has, actually. And I’ve been looking really carefully at Skip’s b… at Skip, so I’m definitely, definitely really sure about that.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

Oh, have you now?

It's an expression, Arthur. And Carolyn did fill me in on the situation, yes. Of course I knew something was awry when Herc began filling in for Martin during our flights for the past month. And your absence on GERTI was noticed (and arguably was an improvement to the atmosphere), Carolyn was actually attending every flight; naturally, it had something to do with your relationship with Martin.

I was baffled, as you can imagine, but your mother supplied enough evidence for me to believe it was truth, and our captain wasn't blowing a bit of gas and bloating due to your unique cuisine out of proportion.

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+ 5

"What a fine day for a layover. It’s raining cats and dogs, the captain is having a panic attack that he might be late for his date with the Princess of Lichtenstein, and the steward has ravenously consumed four Toblerones in a manner I never wish to witness again.”

[thefencingprof]

"Just glad I left a couple of days early for my fencing tournament. Should still have time to get in some practice before the first match."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Quite lucky for you indeed, Mr. Baggins," Douglas said with a nod. "If you don't mind my asking, how did you get into fencing, anyway? It's a bit of a posh recreation, isn't it? You appear quite humble, so I'm going to assume you weren't brought up on it."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+ 5

"What a fine day for a layover. It's raining cats and dogs, the captain is having a panic attack that he might be late for his date with the Princess of Lichtenstein, and the steward has ravenously consumed four Toblerones in a manner I never wish to witness again."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+5

"Are you going to just stand there, or did you need something?"

[cravingdeduction]

"So you’re my cousin’s first officer… Not quite what I expected." 

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Ah, yes, the infamous detective. Charmed," Douglas intoned, raising an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "The resemblance is uncanny, lucky for Martin."

[cravingdeduction]

Sherlock snorted lightly at that, “Not if you ask Martin. According to him, I stole his height when we were children.” He looked the man over, before raising his eyebrows. “So. You’re a smuggler then?” 

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Damn, you've caught me. Normally I'd deny that gross accusation, but there's no getting any information past you, is there, Mr. Holmes?" Douglas casually slid his hands into his pockets, a look of disinterest on his features. "For the right price, of course. If someone has something I want, I'll use whatever powers I've got to get that someone something nice in return; it's gift exchange."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+5

"Are you going to just stand there, or did you need something?"

[cravingdeduction]

"So you’re my cousin’s first officer… Not quite what I expected." 

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

"Ah, yes, the infamous detective. Charmed," Douglas intoned, raising an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "The resemblance is uncanny, lucky for Martin."

[thesmarmyfirstofficer]

+5

"Are you going to just stand there, or did you need something?"