Disclaimer: My writing is marked MINORS DNI 18+ and is written for adults. I do mark warnings about triggers and warnings of what is in each fic. If you are a minor or a blank blog I will BLOCK you. If you choose to ignore this you are choosing your consumption of my writing and I am not responsible for that. Please, respect my 18+ rule for writing. My writing is for fun, I do not own the characters but I do own the story. Please do not repost, claim for your own, translate, or use my fics without my permision. Thank you!
Requests: I currently ONLY write for Motley Crue and Guns N Roses. That being said I do prefer to write Nikki Sixx, Izzy Stradlin. Duff McKagan, and Slash. I will write about Axl Rose, Tommy Lee and Vince Neil. I do not enjoy writing about Steve Adler and Mick Mars. Requests are CLOSED. Please, do not send asks or requests at this time. When/IF I open up requests I will announce it and ask that you follow the rules of the post so that I can get to it. I am not obligated to write every/all the requests I get but I try to keep content coming with variety.
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Duff McKagan - Fozzie Bear. He wants to be this great thing but he's so good at what he does. Sweet and funny and just cares about his people so much.
Slash - Pepe the king prawn. Does things that are slightly unhinged because he gets caught up in the moment but he does mean well.
Axl Rose - Miss Piggy. Honestly a DIVVVVAAA. No sense of understanding others because he is all he sees. However, will fight when needed and make a stand.
Izzy Stradlin - Rizzo the Rat. Street wise, knows what's going on and is secretly one of the best muppets. Usually he appears with Gonzo but has better jokes and lines than anyone but is overlooked.
Steven Adler - Beaker. IDK. Just seems like he's a bit overwhelmed and chaotic and means the best but he's just surrounded by bad influences and ends up hurt.
She loved bathing in sun rays and running in the rain. Her heart felt the fullest during a snowstorm that howled away the loud thoughts of her mind. But fall, fall was the reminder that life was short and all things died but fuck was there beauty in that.
Maybe that’s why she dated boys from September to November. Kissing under trees that spilled their leaves like girls spill secrets. Holding hands in haunted houses where shocks of fright made her smile so hard it hurt the next day. Sex on pokey straw in the back of boys pickup trucks who used their fumbling hands to worship her like Sunday surface.
But LA didn’t have all four seasons so instead of getting to live her four lives she lived one. And if was milking her.
Until she met him.
All blonde hair and thinly veiled promises. Sweet reminders of all the season in his cocky shy smile. He gave her all four seasons everytime they were together.
He gave her the burn of the summer on her cheeks when he whispered things to her in back alley ways they used like bedrooms. He reminded her of winter when things between them would get cold and he wouldn’t talk to her on tour, doing things she was sure would break her heart. He thawed her out when he came home again. And broke her all over again in fall.
18+ minors DNI - Slight mention of a wet dream in the beginning
Nikki couldn't keep his eyes off her, again.
His eyes trailed over the pretty brown curls of her hair, down to the black bow of the apron that was tied right above that ass. The same ass he had dreamed of last night, grinding his hips down into his sheets until a sticky mess of his own cum woke him up from the sensual dreams of her.
Tommy elbowed him, hard enough that the beer Nikki had been holding to his lips, sloshed onto his shirt.
"FUCK, man. What the hell?!?" Nikki grabbed the red cloth napkin and rubbed at where the beer had made his t-shirt see thru.
There really was no chance in making it better. He would have to just pull it away from his skin and hope that it dried out enough.
"Can I offer you some criticism?"
Nikki's eyes narrowed. He didn't even know if Tommy knew the meaning of that word, "Is it constructive?"
"You're an idiot." Tommy deadpanned. Snatching the beer Nikki had set down and draining it in one sip, "You make us come to this dive bar three times a week and yet you still haven't asked out the waitress that you haven't taken your eyes off of."
"Debbie."
"What?"
"Her name is Debbie," Nikki snatched his beer back frowning as he shook the empty bottle, "Not the waitress. Have some respect."
Tommy rolled his eyes at this, frowning as he laid his head on his hand, flicking at the table. He was bored from being here. It was the same. thing every few days. Nikki would call, ask if he wanted to go out, and going out would turn into sitting in the same bar as he pined after a girl he refused to talk to.
"Can I get you boys anything?"
Nikki looked up at the waitress-Debbie. His eyes widening like she was the second coming of Christ.
Tommy had had enough.
"Hi, sugartits-"
"TOMMY!"
"Yeah yeah yeah, shut it Sixx." He was working here, "Can you please put me out of my misery and give my friend here your number? Honestly, if I have to come here another night I'm going to cut off two inches of my dick."
She blinked at him and then looked at Nikki. her cheeks turning pink as he ran his hand through the back of his head. He didn't even know what to say as Tommy ruined his chances.
Her hands reached for the empty bottles, tucking them under her arm. She pulled the bill out of her apron pocket setting it face down in front of Nikki and walking away.
Tommy looked at his best friend, frowned and felt the feeling of guilt turning his stomach. He hated feeling guilty.
"Look Sixx, I really thought it would work and-
"She left me her number." Sixx was staring at the bill in shock, "Nice going T-Bone!"
Tommy nodded his head, probably the most in shock that it had worked out.
At least he would never have to be in this dive bar again.
Day 1: Ghost of you w/ Izzy Stradlin (theme is Ghost) 👻
Izzy couldn’t understand how one day she had been the spotlight of his life and how now she had turned into a ghost. An apparition that he sometimes saw out of the corner of his eyes or chased down on busy LA streets, only to apologize to a stranger for a mistaken identity.
He had loved her in the only way that he knew how but now he was wondering if he knew how to love at all.
Her perfume clung to the pillow on their bed, a lipstick stain on the collar of his favorite white shirt. When he cleaned out the fridge he found the jar of kimchi she had bought months prior at the farmers market they went to. How could little reminders of someone make him crumble so much?
Their breakup hadn’t been an explosion. There was no screaming or sobbing done as they spoke. Only the two of them looking at each other and realizing that what they wanted out of life wasn’t adding up.
He craved the quiet quintessential American life that he had grown up with. Ready to settle down in a home in the suburbs and have the 2.5 kids that were considered to be the typical dreams. She had craved adventure, still loving the feel of talking to strangers in the bathroom on a night out and the comradery of sharing a booth with strangers to eat breakfast in the middle of the night.
When Abigail left she had packed up the same duffel bag she had brought to move in with. Taking her tight jeans and the pair of Converse shoes she liked to wear during the week. There were no more traces of blush on the sink from her getting ready and no more hairs clogging the drain in the shower. Those small things that used to drive him insane were suddenly small pieces of her he missed.
It was Thursday night in LA, slated to be one of the last ones he spent in the city before heading back to Indiana to enjoy the fall and winter with family. He had promised Duff he would meet him at a local club to see some band that GNR was thinking of touring with. He though the blond bassist hoped to talk to him about joining the band again but Izzy knew when he was done with something and he was done with band life. If he wanted to create music, which he did, he’d do it on his own terms.
Still, he got ready, pulling on a leather jacket over the white button down and driving downtown to meet his old bandmate.
Duff seemed to be the only one to respect the fact he was sober so Izzy knew he didn’t have to worry about ordering a water to go with Duff’s beer. It was one of the reasons he had said yes to going out in the first place. It was a safe enough meet up.
Except as Izzy slid in the side entrance of the club he came face to face with the ghost he had been chasing for months.
Abigail looked different. Her long hair wasn’t down and free like she usually wore it. It was pulled up in a messy bun, a few strands having escaped. Her sharp eyeliner was smudged on the sides, the sharp angles of her face seeming to glint at the points of them. She wasn’t dressed up for a night out. Just a pair of jeans that seemed too loose and a shirt that Izzy recognized as his own.
She hadn’t seen him yet, her eyes on the pinboard with all the notices of what was happening. It was like she was lost, looking for directions.
Izzy hated seeing the way she looked. Too thin and a foggy expression on her face, as if she didn’t know what she was doing there.
“Shit,” her curse was soft as her hands clenched into fists. The silent fury of not finding what she was looking for written across her face. Izzy loved riling her up, finding her anger cute. As long as it wasn’t directed at him his girl could rage away.
He leaned against a wall, reaching into his pocket for the pack of cigarettes he knew would be there when she looked up, effectively freezing him in place. How could he have forgotten the way her eyes blazed when she was mad? The usual doe brown eyes taking on that almost red clay hint.
The way her mouth parted, shock across her features as she saw him watching her. Abigail stepped forward, her hand brushing against him like she was testing to see if she was real. Swallowing when her hand pressed into the warm of his body.
“You’re here,” it was a whisper and he let himself lean in so she knew he was here and not going anywhere.
It seemed silly now. Breaking up without having talking about making some changes. He was planning on splitting his time between LA and Indiana. Maybe she could learn to live like that. Maybe he could stop chasing the ghost of her memories and have her back again.
Or maybe he could have this last bit of closure to move on with his life. Not that he would ever be happy in his life without her. He’d end up living in a yurt in his old age, a hermit away from people without the sunshine of her love.
“I’m here.” He said the words and he could see the way her body leaned into him, seeming to need him as much as he had been needing her.
“Can we talk, Jeff? I’ve wanted to call but it felt like we needed to see each other and-”
“Yes.” he’d say yes to just about anything she said right now; For the first time in months he had hope again. There were a lot of things in the world that were powerful but he knew that hope was one of the hardest ones to ignore.
This was his chance to wrong the rights to fix the love he had lost and never lose it again. Izzy promised himself, as she led him back outside, that whatever happened he wouldn’t chase her ghost again. Not when he knew how much he had with Abigail.
My imaginary project needs to start getting written becasue I know this book will actually make me money like my two other omegaverses and this one is SO GOOD
The WIP in the background is a ranch story that fizzled out but I feel bad because I liked the idea so much
My Christmas novella that I already ordered a cover for and has a release date that isn't even half written then I haven't wrote in at least a month and gives me heartburn. to think about
The lavender box was tied with a thick ivory colored ribbon. Just the outside of the package looked expensive but as I paid for the outfit, feeling how light my wallet was now I was even more aware of what a splurge this was. The woman behind the counter slid the perfectly wrapped box into a glossy white bag with the brand's name in the same lavender color as the box, adding tissue paper like it was a present and walking around the counter to hand it to me. I thanked her, feeling awkward as I turned to hurry out of the store.
As someone who wore sneakers every single day and a mix of leggings or jeans the idea of frilly lace and silk made my skin crawl. When people talk about jeans and t-shirt girls I’m sure they are referring to me. I’m the type of person who wakes up and uses my fingers to comb my hair or just throw it up in a haphazard bun. Dressing up for me involves some lipgloss and if it’s really fancy I usually shakily apply mascara. So today was completely out of my wheelhouse and comfort zone.
The next stop of the day was the salon. I handed over my credit card before even getting any services and explained to the woman that today was important because my boyfriend had been away for a few months. She said she would take care of me but I didn’t expect it to be such a painful process. Wax and bleach, nails and curling irons. I left the salon six hours later with a bill that had too many zeros and wondering if people really paid this much money for torture monthly.
But I wanted to impress Izzy.
Izzy and I had started dating nine months ago. After three months we were living together and spending more time together than I think people would recommend. But we were in love and that was all that really mattered. At seven months he was going on tour with the band and I was staying behind to take care of our cats and because I didn’t like the idea of being on a bus with five guys in a band and their girlfriends. I thrived in personal space and knew tour life wouldn’t give me that. Izzy was a saint. He understood my space mattered and didn't pressure me to join him on the road. Which was why now that he was coming home I wanted to impress him so much.
I wasn’t dumb. I knew what happened with bands backstage, I knew what girls did to try and get close to rockstars. SO maybe part of this all was to show him that I could be part of that lifestyle. That I fit in with him. Maybe I loved him too much and I was just desperate enough that I would do anything to keep him.
At home, I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself. I knew it was time to get ready. I had around a half hour and really only needed to get dressed. I had been waxed and primped up, hair and makeup done, skin moisturized and made up to look like the doll version of myself. My hair in soft brown waves, eyes lined and sparkled, lips pouty and painted red. I hadn’t known I could look like this. As I touched my lips, I was surprised it was really me.
Moving towards the wrapped box I blushed, embarrassed even alone that I had bought this. It was a white lace teddy, with sleeves that tied over my shoulder in silky bows. See through it clung to my skin, at my hips it had a layer of soft mesh that was ruffle over them. I had bought white thigh highs to match and was contemplating on putting on the above the elbow silk gloves when I heard the front door open.
“Hey Dove, are you home?” My hands were fumbling to clean up the box, fingers slippery in the silk as I shoved the box in my closet, gasping as I reached for the white silk choker, struggling to tie it around my neck. A small gold heart dangling at my throat. “Dove?” I turned from where I had been staring in the mirror, looking at Izzy standing in the doorway.
Somehow he looked even better. The tight black jeans clinging to his body, button down shirt that was left unbuttoned at the top, a leather jacket on top of it. He pulled off his sunglasses, dropping his bag as he looked me up and down.
“Oh, dove.” I was rushing to him, throwing myself at him as he grabbed me, lifting me up as he kissed me. My legs around his hips as his hand slid down, over my back and onto one thigh as he moved the few steps towards the bed.
My heart was in my throat as he pulled away, tugging off his jacket, looking down at me with this feral need. I felt overwhelmed as he stared at me, taking me in with his deep eyes and lusty looks.
“Kiss me.” I tried pulling at his shirt collar, wanting to bring him down as I melted under his gaze but there was no controlling him. When he wanted to do something he would do it. Only then and not a moment sooner.
“I’m going to kiss every inch of your skin. Just be patient, my little dove.” my heart fluttered, cheeks burning as I raised a hand to feel the heat on my skin as I watched Izzy fully stand up now. He was watching me as he undressed, licking his lips like he was a man starved about to get his first meal. And then he was pushing me back, my head on the pillows as he hoovered over me, fingers running over the thin cloth that cost more than our light bill. “This is new.” His fingers moved down my arms, touching the gloves and guiding them towards his body, “I love it.” The way he growled, lice husky as the tips of my fingers slid down his stomach, towards the shaft of his cock.
Before Izzy I had been a sort of virgin. I sort of did everything but never fully experienced things fully until him. He was always patient, molding and contouring me to get the most pleasure for both of us. When I asked him to slow down he would. When we were trying new things he talked me through it with details of each step.
“Should I get undressed?” I asked, his eyes snapping up to look at me. He has been kissing over my stomach, groaning as I stroked him with my silky gloves on.
“Absolutely not. You look like heaven.” His tongue licked through the lace nipping at my skin as I writhed between his body and mattress. His compliment made it worth it. All the primping and the, “Jesus Christ.” He had pulled the bottom of the teddy to the side, the softness of my pussy greeting him. “You’ve been busy, dove.” His mouth lowered, kissing over my mound, tongue sliding through the wetness of my slit.
Izzy moaned into my juices, the sensation vibrating through me and causing a shiver of delight to run up my spine. His hands coming up my thighs, a finger hooking through the expensive teddy fabric to pull it more to the side as his other hand rested on the skin of my pussy lips, fingers pushing through the slit to spread me open for him. His mouth pushed deeper, tongue sliding into my entrance as I squealed. Hand squeezing his cock and making him look up, eyes meeting mine as he tongue fucked my pussy. I was trembling from the sensation.
“I need you now, little dove.” He was bringing my arms off him, raising them above my head as he pressed a deep kiss against them, letting me taste the way my pleasure tasted against his tongue.
I gasped as he moved both my wrists into one of his hands, pressing against mine. His cocks tip fighting the resistance of my entrance.
“Izzy, wait.” He looked at me, “it’s been a few months month. Go slow, please?” His eyes blazed as he kissed me, releasing my hands as he sat up, dragging me to his lap. My hands on his shoulder to keep balance.
“You take it how you can, dove. If you need help I’ll just pull your hips down and let your body stretch around me again.” He stroked my back, eyes watching as I gulped, unsure of myself as I held him in my hand, guiding him into me.
The first couple inches pulled my body apart, stretching me as I whimpered. Watching the way izzy swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he watched me.
“It’s starting to hurt. I don’t know if I can fit the rest.” My cheeks burned as I spoke the confession aloud. Watching Izzy smirk.
“We’ve done it before. We can do it again. Hopefully blood comes out of this fabric without too much trouble. I’m going to break you in, little dove. You better hold on.” Izzy warned. Holding my hips as he drove himself up and into my body.
The Yelp I let out as he shifted, pushing me back against the mattress, his balls resting against my ass as he held me down, the fullness of him inside of me.
“Sh, sh, sh. That’s a good girl.” He praised me as he rocked into me. I was whimpering , holding him as I tried to adjust to him. The size of Izzy seeming to tear me open as I felt myself contracting around him. My pussy throbbing around him as I rolled my hips. “I’ve missed you.” He breathed against my neck, clinging to me as I quaked under him. My head foggy, body feeling like it wasn’t my own.
“Izzy.” His name came out as a whisper, a prayer to the universe but he understood what I was saying. He knew what I needed.
My thighs around his hips as he moaned against my collarbone, nipping and sucking, marking me as I came around him. My vision blackened as I clawed down his back, hearing his feral groan and feeling the way his cum pumped inside of me.
I looked down as he pulled out, watching the cum slip down my thighs mixed with the slight of pink trails of blood from being fucked so hard again. Izzy was grabbing a cloth, wiping me clean as he kissed my thighs. His head sweaty as I reached down, fingers running through his hair, watching him look up at me with a smirk.
“I like when you dress up for me, dove. I like it a lot.”
Izzy kicked his boots up, taking a chug of water as he tried to get his heart to settle down in his chest. The adrenaline from the show was pumping through his body, and out his pores. His white button down was stuck to his back and he couldn’t gather the strength to pull it away from his body right now.
The cachophony of backstage noise overwhelmed new artists, letting them get caught up in stupid moments. Izzy had just turned thirty and was not trying to get caught up in anything but good vibes.
A hand gently rested on his shoulder making him flinch. Looking up, he saw the dark brown eyes of Sammie. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”
She apologized too much and it was a habit Izzy was intent on breaking. Just like he wanted to break the headboard of the bed he’d eventually fuck her in.
But that was jumping ahead in the carefully laid plan that he had formed in his mind about the young PA that had been hired for the tour.
“Just checking if you needed anything. I was just going to head back to the hotel if not,” she tucked a piece of dark hair that had fallen free from her braid behind her ear.
As irrational as it was, Izzy found himself jealous finger fingertips. They knew what her hair felt like, the intimacy of such a small touch had him scowling at her.
Thankfully, Sammie knew his bad moods and just gave him one go the pageant smiles of hers.
He had crowned her Mrs. Isbell in his mind. Pictured the crowning ceremony in the dessert with a few dozen of their friends and families. She’d look gorgeous in a form fitting dress and one of those old fashioned lace veils with a crown of flowers on her head. He’d slip a ring on her left hand and kiss it to seal forever.
“You’re just staring at me so I don’t know if-“
“No,” she blinked as he stood up, “I’ll head back with you.”
“You have a fan meet and greet to do and-“
“I said no.”
He reached out, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the waiting limousine that was parked in the back. It was the most ridiculous thing but he didn’t care about the vehicle. Only cared about getting back to the hotel.
Sammie fidgeted with the rings on her fingers. Silver rings with different designs and stones covered her nimble fingers. He loved the tigers eye ring she wore on her right hand next to the silver ring that had a demonic face she always twirled on her thumb.
He had watched the collection grow, thanks to visits to different cities and trinket shops that she always spent her spare time in. Stops Izzy would find himself following her too because he was trying to look out for her. He wasn’t a stalker. She worked for him. He was being a responsible adult who looked out for his 23 year old PA.
She was 25 today. He had remembered her birthday and was overwhelmed with the thought of giving her the gifts he had for her.
Lighting up a cigarette he wished he had showered before leaving with her. His skin itched at the desire to be clean.
“Did you eat?” He sounded gruff, overbearing. He didn’t even want to look at Sammie because he was afraid she was rolling her eyes at him. She made a sound that confirmed she had, as she lifted a cigarette to her lips.
Like the stupid love sick puppy he was, Izzy was flicking a lighter out for her. Loving how she leaned closer to light the cherry tip.
“Thanks,” he grunted in reply letting the short ride fall into silence.
When they got to the hotel, Izzy grabbed Sammie’s wrist pulling her forward towards the elevator.
“We haven’t checked in-“
He held up one roomcard like that explained anything. It didn’t but she knew better to argue with the man. His limited use of vocabulary wouldn’t make it a satisfying argument anyway. Instead she stood next to him as Izzy hit the floor number and they rode up.
Izzy had a suite and planned to say her room was the second bedroom in it. He had their things delivered already and was planning on making sure that the off day tomorrow was spent her, with Sammie sharing his bed with him.
He opened the door and pointed, letting go of her wrist. “I’m going to shower.”
He left her confused as she stood in the living space. Izzy slamming the master bedroom door behind him.
Sammie’s arms wrapped around her, eyes shifting towards the second bedroom. She shuffled in, relieved to see her things waiting for her. Setting down her bag on the chair, she toed off her shoes, falling backward on the bed and closing her eyes.
“…happy birthday my love Sammie, happy birthday to you. Wake-up darling, time to blow out your candle.” Sammie’s eyes felt heavy, the dream fading away until she realized it hadn’t all been a dream.
Izzy was standing next to her bed with some sort of greenish brown thing and a candle stuck on top of it. He had changed into a plain black shirt and jeans, his feet bare on the carpet of the room she was staying at.
She blinked several times to make sure it was real before sitting up. Izzy stepped closer, leaning in as they made eye contact and her lips pursed blowing at the candles. The soft motion making the candle go out and fluttering the hair around Izzy’s face.
He smirked at her, handing her the dish, “it’s my famous zucchini bread. I baked it this morning in the hotel kitchen. Since it’s your birthday, I added chocolate chips as a treat.”
Her Heat was beating so fast she was sure she was dying. Izzy Stradlin had baked her a zucchini bread birthday cake. The same man who had punched duff in the face two days ago for smoking his last cigarette. The same man who who’d written a seventy two page paper on the conspiracy theories that big sock was working with laundromats to take one sock from each pair. This man had baked her something.
“Am I dreaming?” She whispered into the room. Izzy’s head turned slightly before he leaned in, a soft brush of his lips on hers.
Once. Twice. The third time he cupped her cheek, deepening the kiss this time between them. A soft groan coming out of him as he finally got to taste her.
“Does it feel like you’re dreaming darling?”
“After that kiss I’m pretty sure I am. Usually we’re just having sex. The zucchini bread is a new addition to the dream,” he blinked, still holding her cheek before throwing his head back and laughing.
The sound was so new and different she was sure this was all a dream.
When Izzy stopped laughing, his thumb ran over her bottom lip, staring at it before meeting her brown eyes, “let me prove to you this isn’t a dream. Let me prove it to you all night, birthday girl. And if it is what you want, I can keep proving it to you.”
Sammie nodded, setting down her bread and reaching for Izzy. She wanted all her birthday wishes to come true.
This story does feature mentions of previous drug and alcohol use, sex, and adult themes. This is for audiences 18 years or older.
Thank you and I hope you enjoy.
Chapter One
Izzy POV
After having spent two days this week at different camper rental lots I was finally in my driveway, packing up the RV that I had rented for this excursion that Sky had roped me into. The use of the term ‘roped in’ being used very loosely. I had practically invited myself, if I was being honest.
How could I not?
Sky was going to be making all sorts of memories with Vaughn. Yes, I did want to be there and get to experience these things with my baby boy but, I wasn’t jealous in my parenting. There would be moments we both missed and that we both got to see ourselves. Parenting isn't a competition. No, it was all about the bond we had.
Yes, I would love to go on this vacation for my son. I would also love to go on this vacation and have an excuse to be close to his mother, the love of my life. Maybe we could have another night where we let loose and give my son a sibling.
Not that I wanted to rush into just making babies with Sky. I selfishly wanted more time for her and I to reconnect and find that love that had been lost.
A sound startled me. Standing in the RV was Sky, Vaughn on her hip munching at one of her chocolate cherry cookies. From the messy candy smear around his lips this wasn’t his first one, either.
“You’re out of your mind,” Sky shifted Vaughn up, her black t-shirt dragging up slightly with it. I didn’t know if I should look at her tan legs in the denim shorts she was wearing or that bit of skin, “You’re really going to drive this thing by yourself?”
What?
Myself?
No. This was a family vacation and I was going to drive my….family.
Sky saw the change in my face. I watched the way pity crossed her features, her pretty lips pushing together in a scowl as she looked around. Turning away from me and then looking back at me, a smile flirting across her features, “I guess you do have AC in here. Why don’t you go find your bed, V baby?”
As soon as my son was on his own two feet he took off, leaving smears from his chocolate fingers all over the clean surfaces of the RV. His laughter makes me smirk as I went back to stocking up the food on the shelves.
Sky’s legs came into view, her hip leaning on the cabinet I was about to open as she looked down at me, “Jeff, this is a vacation. A time to relax and have fun. I know you’re not happy with the band,” She took a breath as she said the understatement of the year, “I need this time to unwind. If you can’t do this, don’t. Stay home.”
The look she was giving me, her brown eyes staring at me as if she needed me to be honest with her. It broke me a bit. The look reminded me of nights I’d spend snorting coke too late in the back of The Troubadour. Stumbling back to our place smelling like stale sweat, vodka, and bad choices.
It was the same little frown on her face as she helped me clean up, getting me out of my clothes and putting me to bed. No wonder she is such a good mother when she’s had years of taking care of my pathetic ass.
My fingers instinctively go to push back my hair, wanting to fist and pull it as some punishment to make me feel better. I know I’m going about this in some attempt to win back the gold medal I had in my life with Sky. I’m chasing that love story, with a happily ever after knowing that I’m the actual villain here.
Swallowing, I nod my head, “I still talk to Duff a bit. Axl and I tried to talk a few times. Slash won’t start problems. I just,” I’m fucking nervous and acting like a idiot, “I just really want these memories with Vaughn.”
And you, Sky.
I can’t say that though.
She nods her head, just as the sound of something falling catches our attention. Both of us see our son next to the couch he had been climbing up. He gives us such a wide smile my heart skips a beat, soaking in the way his baby fat still clings to him.
“Mama! Bed!” He points, proud of himself. Sky is already beside him, lifting him up and going in for a cuddle.
I need to make this trip work. I need to give Vaughn the family that he deserves. I don’t want to make the mistakes that my parents did. I don’t want him to have to split his time. I want us together. One unit.
How it should have always been.
SKY POV
Izzy isn’t fooling me for a second. He’s not subtle in the least bit about how he feels about things and after being married to him and in a relationship with him for the better part of our adult lives, I know what him going on this road trip is all about.
He hasn’t given up on the idea of us being together yet.
Part of me wants to scream at this. Slap him and remind him that it was his shitty behaviour that tore us apart in the first place. He had chosen the drugs and rock n roll over our relationship. I accepted this and tried to let us both move on.
Getting pregnant with Vaughn had thrown a wrench into all of that.
The other part of me wants to have him live out all the fantasies that I still have about him. Instead of my hand crawling between my thighs at night I want it to be his mouth. The feel of his nose bumping at my clit as he strokes up and down my folds, soaking his face in my juices. Getting me ready to be split apart by that massive fucking cock of his.
I squeeze my legs together, gripping the bathroom counter in front of me as I look at myself in the mirror. I had an everything shower this morning when I couldn’t sleep at 4AM. I had then gotten dressed in this pretty black slip dress that I bought while thrifting with Aimee a few months ago. It wasn’t anything fancy but it made me feel feminine and sexy in a way that I hadn’t quite felt since I became a mother. It hit a few inches below the knee. I paired the dress with a pair of black cowboy boots, a silver medallion belt that cinched the dress above my hips, and a few silver bangles on my arms.
My dark hair was wavy, tied back with a crocheted bandana. My silver hoops sticking out of my hair. My lips were painted a darker brown than my skin and I had outlined my eyes in too much eyeliner for the morning. I had attempted to tone down the eye makeup with too many swipes of mascara.
The whole look could seem like a regular outfit to start a trip or Izzy could look at me and see that maybe he actually has a chance of getting into my pants again.
No!
I needed to be strong. I needed to not have him thinking like that. I needed to pack my vibrator and the extra batteries becasue that was the only way I would be getting through this trip without fucking my ex husband.
“Sky?” Speak of the devil.
Throwing open the bathroom door, I freeze seeing Izzy in my room. His eyes widen as he looks me up and down. His hands are shoved into the tight black jeans he’s wearing as he rocks back on his heels.
He looks at me like I’m a cool glass of water and he’s a thirsty man.
This man also saw his son's big head crown out of my vagina as I prayed I didn’t poop during labor. Something that I will never ask Izzy to confirm or deny.
“Vaughn is just finishing his breakfast. Our bags are-”
“Already in the RV. I loaded them up.” His eyes are still taking me in. No, he’s not taking me in. He’s very much staring at me, “Sky you look-”
“MAMA!” I turn just as a bundle of baby hits my knees. I’ve had years of practice or I would have lost my balance and knocked myself out.
Izzy picks up our son, tossing him in the air and getting the shrill excited laughter from our baby. God, we really did make the cutest kid. IMagine if we had more?
I really needed to pack my vibrator. “Can you bring him to the RV? I’m just going to grab my purse and check that everythings locked up here.”
Izzy asked his brothers to check out our places. One of his brothers is staying in his house while we’re away and they’ll be coming by mine a few times a week with the spare key I gave to him. It makes me feel a little bit better about leaving.
Once he’s out of the room, I’m opening my nightstand drawer, pulling out my favorite sex toy, “Vibby, you’re my only hope of making it through this trip.” I grab the extra batteries, shoving them into my bag.
I should have never told him about this trip. There is no way that we're going to make it through this.
Izzy POV
The plan is to meet everyone at the first campground tonight by 7PM. It gives everyone enough time to get there, even though it’s only about two hours from where we live. I’m thankful to be driving the RV because if I look at my ex wife one more time my blood is all going to stay pooled in my dick and we’re going to crash.
That fucking dress.
What was she trying to do to me? I’m just a man.
The silky fabric clinging to her thighs as she walks. The way her ass bounces in it as she had stepped into the RV. I wanted to bite it and take a chunk out of it.
I hit a bump, Sky’s purse shifting on the seat beside me where she left it. I glance to make sure nothing fell out. Seeing nothing on the seat it takes me a second to hear the steady humming sound of a buzz.
My eyes scan the dashboard, making sure that no lights are on to alert me something is wrong with the RV. I would fight the guy at the dealership if something was wrong. Nothing seems off though.
Staying quiet, I frown hearing the noise to my right. Glancing off the road for a second I see Sky’s purse is shaking more than it should be. My heart is in my throat as I glance up at the road, making sure no one is near me as I reach across and let my hand go in her bag. I find what is vibrating instantly.
“Vaughn is down for his-”
She freeze’s as I glance back, looking at her staring at the hand that I’m holding up in the air. The hand that is holding her, impressive, but not as impressive as me, vibrator. Her cheeks darken as she steps forward, yanking it from me and hitting some button to shut it off. She shoves it back into her purse as I use both hands to drive now.
I’m not going to think about how my right hand was just holding something that was inside her. I’m not going to smell my hand and try to smell her sweet cunt. I’m going to keep it together and be an adult about this.
“If you’re horny on this trip you know where my bunk is,” I offer lightly. She makes a sound in the back of her throat, turning and storming back to where I’m sure that she is going to hide away from me.
I should have just asked her if she wanted to stop for lunch. Maybe if I fed her she would have been more receptive. Instead I offered to feed her my dick.
And we were only an hour into this two week long trip.
A foot caught him in the chin, followed by another kick to his chest. It jerked him out of sleep, as Izzy looked at his son. The boy had climbed into his bed at some point of the night. He was laying horizontally, his feet using Izzy’s face to rest on.
Carefully, he moved the boy's feet away from his face. Rubbing at where he had been assaulted before making his way to the ensuite attached to his bedroom.
When he had bought this house in Indiana he had expected it to be used as his crashing place for when he came back for a visit. His life was so ingrained in LA, why would he ever leave?
Turns out finding out he had an oopsie-baby with his ex-wife on the night they were out celebrating their divorce was a good reason for him to move to Indiana full-time again.
He splashed water on his face, trying to wake himself up a bit more before he started making breakfast. His son, Vaughn, would only eat shapes. Shapes like Mickey Mouse or Dinosaur. Instead of easy ones like circles or squares.
“Daddy!”
His knees were taken out by a bomb force of a child and if Izzy wasn’t holding onto the sink he would have gone down. He wondered if he should buy one of those life alert buttons that he saw on infomercials at 2 AM. Having a rowdy toddler seemed like a good reason to invest in such things.
Scooping up his son and depositing him on his hip, in a move that he had gotten way to good at these past few months, Izzy headed downstairs to figure out what sort of disaster he would need to create to have his son eat.
He paused, seeing his ex filling up a mug of coffee, breakfast already on the breakfast island in front of her.
It didn’t matter that they weren’t together. Whenever Izzy looked at Sky he forgot how to breathe. Her dark brown hair was almost black, piled high up on her head in a bun that defied the laws of gravity. Her dark eye makeup was slightly smudged around her oak colored eyes. It made him wonder if it was from not caring this morning or if it was a left over from last night.
He’d be lying if he was to say that he wasn’t jealous of whoever got to see her the night before. She had dropped Vaughn off looking gorgeous in a pair of skintight leather pants and a cropped black shirt. Insisting several times she was just going out for a girls night when Izzy had pressed to make sure she was safe. Her eyes were rolling at him and his possessive, alphahole nature.
“Good morning my love,” her greeting hit his heart before she plucked Vaughn from his arms and peppered him with kisses, “I made you a smiley face.”
Their son looked down at the plate which had two fried eggs, a strawberry nose, and a piece of bacon as the mouth. What looked like spaghetti but must have been pancakes were around the head.
He clapped, reaching for the chair. Once he was strapped in and happily shoving his face, Sky finally addressed Izzy.
“There’s eggs in the pan and some bacon. Coffee’s hot too,” She jumped up on the counter to sip at her own mug.
He appreciated that she never treated him like the babysitter. Never asking questions like how did the night go or did he eat. She trusted him and knew if something was happening with their son he would tell her.
If anyone could co-parent together it was them. They had grown up together, fell in love in this same town that they were raising their kid together in. It just was strange that they weren’t living together or romantically together while doing it.
Their relationship ending was Izzy’s fault. As much as Sky had tried to argue that it was both of them in the relationship and therefore both of them responsible. That was just bullshit she had fed him to try to make him feel better. The truth of the matter was Izzy got out of control. He drank too much and did too many drugs. He wasn’t home and let his delusions win out on the life that they should have been living the best years of their lives.
“Did you have fun last night?” He was stealing looks at her as he ate out of the pan.
He wanted her to have fun. Honestly, he loved seeing her smile. He was just a selfish asshole who wanted all her smiles to be aimed at him.
Sky shrugged her shoulders, “Aimee wants to take the kids on a little road trip this summer. We were chatting about that.”
He paused, head snapping up to stare at her.
A road trip? Izzy loved a road trip. That’s where all his best love stories came from.
“Oh, that’s nice,” he tried not to play it up how interested he was in going, “Is Aimee driving?”
“Her step-brother just bought this RV. He was going to drive us. We’re planning on going for at least two weeks.” She looked away at that and Izzy knew why.
They split Vaughn’s time pretty 50-50. The only time that it wasn’t always great was if Izzy had to travel for work. Even then, he would usually bring his little family along with him.
He nodded his head, “So, when do we leave?”
The look on Sky’s face was everything. Shock and a bit or horror, but under it all was the excitement that he missed seeing from her.
She took a second to compose herself, sipping her coffee. He was ready for whatever excuse would come from her. Instead, she smiled at him. It was a too sweet smile that he knew was going to mean trouble.
“We leave June 3rd,” She wiped at Vaughn’s mouth with a wet paper towel, “Oh, by the way, Axl is coming with the rest of the band. You know since he’s Aimee’s step-brother and all. A true and proper family vacation.”
Izzy knew his mouth dropped. He couldn’t back out now and was well and truly fucked.
So, we heard of Steven’s story of izzy and him with a groupie found in his book, and then the jizzy accident in Slashs book so do you think Axl has any sex stories involving Izzy?
Axl stares from the corner, rubbing his hands together as he watches Izzy make love to the supermodel. His eyes widen, the drapes fluttering from the way he leans forward to hear what is being spoken.
"I love you," Izzy whispers against the woman's neck, "Fuck, baby, I love you so much."
Axl was thrilled by this. His heart rate accelerating as he shifted his weight, one hand having to readjust himself. Leather pants didn't do much in the hiding erections department.
Izzy loved her.
It was perfect.
If Axl made her fall in love with him than Izzy wouldn't be attached to anyone else. He would write more songs. The band would get bigger. He would be a star .
Summary: You are my one true love. She is there for him at all of his worst moments. Coaxing him through his high, making him smile and laugh. She’s at parties dancing with her red smile calling for him. She’s swimming in the pool when he’s drunk and stoned. She’s there through it all. No ones loved Nikki like her. All consuming. His only thought. She is his entire world. And his works is crumbling.
Warning: Heavy themes of drug use, drug induced hallucinations, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts.
My eyes are heavy, fingers twisting the belt around my arm to loosen the pressure. The needle drops to the floor, the carpet holding any sound in. Blinking, looking around the cramped closet I see my journal, my revolver, and more smack for after this dosage.
What a life.
My head rolls back smacking the wood paneling with a dull thud that vibrates through me. My hands shaking, waves of fingers in front of me. There’s a bit of blood coming from the injection pin prick in my arm and I’m find myself stumbling to my feet, sweeping the gun off the floor and tucking it in the waistband of my jeans as I head to the bathroom.
It’s washing over me, the feeling I’m always chasing. The fleeting moment of happiness is like a warm blanket wrapping itself around me.
The giggle stops me in my tracks, eyes searching the hallway searching for her. I thought she had left after our last fight. She called me a quitter and was mad I was giving up my partying ways. She loved to have a good time and she thought I was giving up on her.
Guess she was wrong.
The flash of brown hair catches my attention and I’m stumbling, laughing as I chase her through the house. Her laughter was infectious and made me forget about the blood dripping down my forearm.
In the kitchen she turns, giving me that megawatt smile that felt like my heart was feeling something other than the melancholy that usually filled it. She stops and lets me catch her, letting me wrap my arms around her holding her close to me. Smelling the exotic sweetness of her hair as she engulfs me with her golden skin, bangles tinkling down her arms like a musical number.
Safe and warm, happiness and euphoria of her presence with me here. The place that was my Mecca of solitude. Pulling back, confused for a second I try to think about how she got here.
“How did you get in?” As if she senses the confusion in my voice she kisses me, giving me no doubt she is here with me. Warm and solitude against my skin, fire in my veins.
“You let me in.” She purred, letting her mouth kiss along my jawline. Soft hot breath tickling me as she pressed against me, bumping the gun as she rolled her body against mine. “It looks like you’re locked and loaded, ready to go.” Her hands in my hair as she’s touching parts of me I forgot existed.
God I missed this.
Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling
White bikini off with my red nail polish
Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples
You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh yeah
Light of my life, fire of my loins
Be a good baby, do what I want
Light of my life, fire of my loin
I wake up with a gasp.
What time is it? What day is it? Where am I?
Looking around, frantic panic as I realize I’m asleep in the lawn chair by the pool. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels is smashed beside me, glass decorating the concrete in sharp glares of warning.
The sound of a splash throws me off and there she is. Her brown hair wet as she rests her elbows outside the pool, placing her head in her hands with that gleaming smile.
“Well hello sleepyhead. Did you have good dreams?” I don’t know if she’s asking out of kindness or mocking me. I’m drenched in sweat, possibly from falling asleep in the LA afternoon but most likely from the night terrors that always haunt me.
I dreamt I was running. From who or from what was the issue. Everything in my brain was foggy. My eyes snapped up at the setting sun. Has it been a full day already? Was it longer?
The phone rang from inside the house and I knew it must be someone from the band calling or my drug dealer. One of those felt more important than the other and I wasn’t ready to admit which one that was.
I got up, swearing as a piece of glass cut open my door, glaring as she giggle and dipped under the water. A trail of blood followed me into the house as I picked up the phone.
“Hello.” My voice felt gruff and it hurt to talk, like I hadn’t used it in a while. My head was killing me and I felt ready to throw up.
What the fuck had I been doing?
“Jesus Nikki, we’ve been trying to reach you for a week.” A week? I had lost hours, maybe a day here and there but a whole week. Jesus Christ. “Are you okay man? Why don’t you come out tonight with us?” Tommy was begging me and I sighed.
I was embarrassed. I didn’t want everyone to see me when I had been on a bender. I hadn’t seen what I looked like yet but I was sure that it was like hell.
“I don’t know, T-Bone. I think I have the flu or something. I just don’t feel great.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.
Something fluttered beside me and there she was. A white dress on her thin frame. How had she dried off and changed so quickly? Was I loosing more time? Eyes shining as she held out a silver platter of white powder. She loved to party and must have known that my band would want to see me out. At least if I was doing coke with them they didn’t have to worry about finding me dead.
“Where are you going to be?” I relented, watching her twirl. The energy coming off her was exhilarating and I wanted to join her in the ever present state of delight.
My nose was down against the lines, snorting messily, my brain burning, eyes widening as I sniffed a few times to get the whole lot out of my nose. Wiping and then turning to her.
“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go out on the town.” She was leading me to the bathroom. My blood rushing everywhere as I was alive and awake and fucking ready to party.
I need you to come here and save me
I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden
Kiss me on my open mouth
Ready for you
Why had I agreed to go to a club?
In the booth we had a mess of drugs, pills and coke scattered on the table like appetizers. Bottles of booze and half empty beer bottles added to the maze of debauchery.
How long have I been here?
I couldn’t remember driving or even getting to the club. All I could remember was hands all over me in the shower, washing the filth off myself. The gentle voice reminded me to wear long sleeves to hide my track marks.
My eyes searched for her. In the sea of women I was sure she would stand out. But all the flashing lights and the noise was confusing me.
The room was spinning, the conversation around me overwhelming me and I could feel Tommy’s hand on my back. My head rolled back, the club's lightning needed to be updated.
A hand was smacking my face and I saw Tommy, wide eyed, looking at me before I turned to the table, throwing up the only thing I had in my body. Brown liquid shot out, mixed with the acid in the stomach. It didn’t stop for what felt like a full minute.
When I finished, puke leaking down in steady droplets to the floor I grabbed a beer tang I had missed and chugged the foamy substance down. I tried not to make eye contact with the people giving us disgusting sneers.
“Oh baby, why don’t you let me take you home? Let me take care of you.” Her hands wrapped around me and I turned, nodding. Confused looks from everyone as I climbed out, reaching for her to take me back into the safety of her arms.
Light of his life, fire of his loins
Keep me forever, tell me you own me
Light of your life, fire of your loins
Her fingers were in my hair as I laid on her lap. The fire from my lighter hitting my pipe as I inhaled and exhaled the sweet delight.
Freebasing in my closet. But at least I wasn’t alone. I had her with me and that changed my usual mood of wanting to slit my wrists or press the gun against my head and pulling the trigger. Painting the inside of my closet with bits of skull fragments and blood-
“Come back to me.” Her voice was lulling me out of the dark place, pressing against my temples and using the magic of her voice to help me. She was the only one that was always there for me. Always making me feel better and dragging me from the pain of my life. Holding me in her arms, compassion and understanding.
She never judged me.
“Have we been here long?” She knew I liked to keep my responsibilities. I wanted to keep my appearance as the rockstar. I couldn’t let anyone know how bad that it had gotten. How I couldn’t stop. How doing drugs was the best part of my life. My one true love.
Except her. She was the one thing I loved more than drugs.
“You have band practice in a few hours.” She reminded me. Her voice was steady and calm, fingers running through my hair and keeping me calm as I took another hit.
I just needed a little more time before I could see anyone. Just a little more time in the closet with her holding me before going out into the world.
“Nikki, don’t let them tell you to give me up. I love you Nikki. Aren’t I the only one who has always been there for you? No one else cares for you like I do. They see you as a rockstar or as a junkie. But I see you. I see you.” Her words promised and I nodded my head, agreeing with her words. She was still so calm, even with the edge to her voice. The words stuck with me.
She saw me and I saw her too.
I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving
I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island
Raisin' hell all over town
Sorry 'bout it
I didn’t want to go to band practice. I didn’t want them to see my shaking hands or ask my stupid fucking questions that didn’t matter.
At least she had agreed to go with me. Her brown hair wrapped in one of those silky driving scarfs like the 1960s, big sunglasses to hide the hangover in her eyes that she was surely feeling after we had partied. Her hand was on his lap, keeping him steady as he drove to the practice space.
Walking inside, I hide my eyes behind big sunglasses, I could feel the sweat glistening like a second skin on my body. Anxiety crippling me as I licked my lips wanting to get back to my house.
My eyes followed her, watching her move around the instruments shooting me a smile as she ran her hands down my bass. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.
“Yo, Nikki, are you okay?” Tommy’s voice made me turn away from her nodding as I sat down hard on the couch. I had never brought a girl to practice before so I was sure they were surprised to see her. To see me so happy with someone.
“Come here.” I held my arms open, watching her smile as she bounced towards me twisting around the guys as they watched me. The brunette plopped down on my lap and I held her close looking out at them.
“What are you playing at?” Vince asked, the confusion was written across his face and I felt angry. Vince had been parading chicks through band practice for years. And now he was acting like this? Fucking asshole.
“Cmon, show her some respect, dicks.” She was shifting in my arms holding onto me and purring sweet words in my ears, my eyes closing and only coming awake when Vince kicked my shin.
“Show who respect?” My eyes went up to look at her but she was glaring at them. Her eyes were on fire as if she was protecting me from the band.
“Nikki, we should go. Let’s go home and I’ll take care of you. You don’t need this. I don’t need this. This was a bad idea, Nikki. A very bad idea.” She was getting up tugging at me to leave.
“My girl.” I was standing gesturing at her beside me, watching the way her dark eyes were slits now. Anger so clear as she tried to wrap herself around me and get me away from them.
They sat there, no one saying a word as they looked at each other and than a me. I turned to look at her, panic was there as she stepped forward touching my face, my eyes closing at the sweet caresses from her fingers. My skin feeling alive like bristling fire under her touch
“It’s me and you Nikki. Don’t forget how I love you. I love you always. No judgement. No-“
“Nikki, no ones there.” Tommy’s voice came out soft and I turned to look from her to him, feeling the slender hand slip out of mine. I went to tell her to wait but she was gone.
Whirling around I saw it was just the band in the space, no mystery brunette anywhere in sight. I collapsed on the couch gripping my hair as my teeth gnashed together.
This was the furthest it had come. The lowest point of my drug addiction. In my loneliness I had created a woman out of heroin. Someone to make me feel less alone when I shot up.
I created love through a needle and that was when I knew I needed to stop if I ever wanted to love anything again.
