a modern woman's guide to excellence

for modern women in pursuit of the good life 🕊️

[thesophistiicate]

welcome to the sophisticate 🕊️

here are collected ideas, wisdom, inspiration, and guidance on becoming that woman. she is healthy, intelligent, well-presented, thoughtful, and successful in her own right.

the sophisticate aims to be a safe space for all to explore the concept of personal excellence, while also being guided by my own personal journey and collected wisdom. keep in mind these ideas at times may be refreshing and inspiring, or challenging and difficult.

remember that the pursuit of excellence requires stretching beyond our comfort zones and considering ideas that may initially be uncomfortable. please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

information + ground rules (read before interacting)

+ asks are closed. + the vibe is that this is my personal excellence guide, topics are what i'm personally interested in - i share to connect with others who may resonate with my approach too + views expressed are my own personal views and are not given as medical or professional advice + i use tags for post visibility, not necessarily because i entirely endorse what they stand for so please don't read too much into them! + rude, offensive, combative, and disrespectful behaviour will result in an instant block.

[asvpfrenchy]

the art of not being ready and doing it anyway will take you far

[mournfulroses]

Albert Camus, from a letter to María Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959

[thesophistiicate]

the good life is something you have to DO to achieve. my partner teaches philosophy in high school and noticed his students struggling with the concept that a good life takes action. “ah,” i said. “i noticed this too. some replies on my blog act like you’ve done a hate crime when you suggest a good life takes responsibility for the self and intentional action, it’s not something simply given to you by others.”

this should be common sense, taught to you by parents and books. a life you love will not just be handed to you. you have to create it yourself. of course there’s always external realities that, if different, could make it better and easier. but you can’t rely on those. you have more power than you think to make even teeny tiny changes toward good right now.

[perrfectly]

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.”

—

[sahlesummerhill]

[thevirgodoll]

[dreamstars]

[asynca]

I watched an insane amount of TikTok and other short form videos for the story I'm writing right now. I gotta say, afterwards, I found myself picking up my phone and opening the apps, almost unconsciously. I was walking and I thought about watching some vids at the same time. I was on hold to the ATO... maybe some videos.

I also happen to specialise in gambling addiction (although I'm not practicing in that area right now), and all I could fucking think about was how these fucking apps were conditioning me in the same fucking way gambling apps do. To be constantly plugged in, consuming. To not even think about just picking it up and having a look. To feel bored when I wasn't watching them, to think about watching them when I wasn't watching them....

That shit is fucking evil.

I deleted it. I'm not exposing myself to that.

That shit will fry your dopamine/reward system so fucking bad you will never read a book or watching a movie again without it.

Love yourself and your potential enough to put that fucking shit away. Watch longer form things that require focus and engagement. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Read books. DO ANYTHING BUT CONSUME SHORT FORM CONTENT IN AN UNSTRUCTURED WAY.

If you MUST consume it (I'm sure people will be like 'but my classmates' or 'but my own channel'.... etc), do it in a siloed and structured way. 30 minutes between x time and x time on x day. Focus on it. Don't eat and do it. Watch each short form video to completion. Engage critically with the content. ANd never watch them first thing in the morning or last thing at night.

PLEASE. From a gambling professional, short form videos ping your SAME circuitry and you will fuck up your life and your brain so badly if you don't put up guardrails for yourself.

[thesophistiicate]

Oh there is actually a great article about how social media apps are designed with the same mechanics that make gambling addictive, and the general neuroscience of how bad social media is for your brain.

That article is the reason I moved my career away from social media management and into other areas of marketing. I knew I wasn’t mentally okay from being on social media a lot, and reading that article described exactly what had happened to me.

I still use Instagram but with boundaries and limits in place, and I have a purpose for being there (connections with actual people first, inspo if I’m in the mood, then I’m done). Plus I don’t use the Reels tab or watch them back to back because they’re the absolute worst.

[thesophistiicate]

in love with my little daily routine list 🤍 i made it because i felt despite overall being clear on the daily life i want, i was still struggling to prioritise the right things. i’m great at getting any bigger projects done that take up the bulk of my day, but it’s often at the expense of the little details that actually make life feel richer.

[kosmogrl]

you can be having the worst day of your life yet when you look outside the sun has never been brighter

[kosmogrl]

the world doesn’t end even when we think it does

[allsadnshit]

I feel like one of the biggest life hacks I've found after my twenties is that gravitating towards people who define themselves by what they love and are rather than what they oppose or aren't tends to lead to people who are more generally nice to be around

[toiich]

Agnès Varda

[how2forgive]

catching up w ask polly this morning

[thesophistiicate]

deep in my 30g protein per meal 200mg magnesium glycinate before bed pilates and strength training preconception vitamins warm water with lemon life right now and i have to say i feel amazing

[sioltach]

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird

[dreamgirlvibes]