The Sparrow Fable

my profession is flailing, and i moonlight as a derpy child in my 20s. I am the real sugar Pepe

[twitterlols]

[lsleofskye]

[phoebebufay]

[radicalgash-deactivated20191008]

These are all me

[weavemama]

GORDON RAMSEY’S TWITTER CRITIQUES IS WHAT WE NEED IN TIMES LIKE THIS 

[alonelylostdisc-deactivated2023]

OH MY GODDDDD LMAOOO

[scorpia6]

THE TRUE HERO WE NEED

[weloveshortvideos]

[archgayge]

no

[menalaus]

I refuse to accept this as true

[smatter-deactivated20220909]

Why are they clapping like he just got a spare bowling instead of just committing an act of witchcraft

[youngsamberg]

my favorite samberg meme is finding weird pictures of him deep in the internet with no context

please feel free to add your favorite no-context pics of sambags below

[roy-kent]

[minim-calibre]

[lemonsharks]

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

(Person 1: Here are the presidential nuclear codes

President: Nuclear? What does that mean?

Person 1: (to Person 2) What should I say?

Person 2:(whispered) A prayer? I don’t know!)

[hex-360a1b]

Republicans propose bill making it legal for police to kill protesters

The Indiana state legislature is considering an authoritarian bill that would essentially allow police to kill protesters with zero accountability. Republican senator Jim Tomes introduced Senate Bill 285 in January, though it was given its first committee hearing on Wednesday. The bill authorizes city officials to use “any means necessary” to break up a group of …

[betterbemeta]

The Indiana state legislature is considering an authoritarian bill that would essentially allow police to kill protesters with zero accountability.

Republican senator Jim Tomes introduced Senate Bill 285 in January, though it was given its first committee hearing on Wednesday. The bill authorizes city officials to use “any means necessary” to break up a group of 10 or more protesters blocking traffic, “even to the point of costing lives.”

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Keep an eye on this bill. Keep an eye on it’s progress and it’s refutations and it’s inevitable day in court if it gets passed.

This is what I call a canary bill. If it passes both the legislative and judicial branches of the government, it serves as a hallmark on how far gone we are. If it passes the state and is deemed constitutional by the Supreme Court, then we have passed a point from which we cannot return.

Do not forget about this, please.

[shaolinbynature]

YOU GUYS WE NEED TO KEEP AN EYE ON THIS BILL LIKE IT’S THE UPCOMING SEASON RUMOR/TEASER/PROMO OF OUR FAVORITE SHOW

[snapgif]

[autoportraitt]

[ruinedchildhood]

[hypedogs]

[freckledhoney]

[beemojis]

LUCY LIU IS COVERED IN PUPPIES

[labella-instagram]

[totalparksandrec]

[andrewbelami]

French tips on fleek 😍 my nail lady did such a great job

[bullletproof-love]

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

[comic-canary]

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

[edmundo-noches-buckley]

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

[lotrlocked]

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

[ive-got-a-dark-side]

This is the parent I want to be omg