The Strangest Pet On Earth

Maker of zero-budget British comedy chiller 'District Nurse.'

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Storyteller - Untitled, Berlin - 4th August 2026

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Supporting 'Cursor Miner' in Prague this June.

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For a few years, I've been playing the character of film reviewer, Avery Wayne, on the absurdist podcast - Fuggcast. The script is written by my old pal Sam of the Dagger Brothers. The latest episode is the 'Avery Wayne Film Special.' Thank you.

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"Blood On The Fairway, the title track is a homage to the beautiful game of golf and a pristine California course. The story begins like any other day, a morning group of enthusiast gathering to drive balls down manicured tracts of land. Unknown to them, the land is soon to explode issuing an onslaught of grim Armageddon fashioned chaos. After the poeticized description of the earth opening up to swallow life above and heads exploding behind windscreens, Story Teller gets a little groovy..." - Lost in a Sea of Sound Thank you Ken for the great review.

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A favourable review of Storyteller 5 - Blood on the Fairway - from Raised by Cassettes. Thank you Josh. "From thoughts of Christmas to upbeat jazz, from feeling like this is from "Fallout" to just those upbeat pianos like in an old western saloon, this takes us through different sounds and feelings in that sense but then the words can take us on a similar journey from murder to a job interview and, yes, even golf.   A sort of church-like singing will end this all and it just feels like something so far out there that once you are also out there with it, you don't ever want to come back in. "

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This is a NSFW radio broadcast we did for Noods - 18 December 2025 -entitled: 'The Noodist Beach ' Thanks for having us transmit, Jack.

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"This tape is f*cking with me!" - Tabs Out Cassette Podcast Thanks gents for playing some 'Storyteller 5 - Blood on the Fairway' on your recent #212 episode, 6 December 2025. The tapes played and discussed on the show are: Giant Claw – Decadent Stress Chamber (Orange Milk) Blackbraid – II (Wolf Mountain Productions) Mareado – Scorpion Bowl (self released) BYSH – Please (Unifactor) Membrane – s/t (self released) Hikaru Yamada and The Librarians – Blank In Our Spirits (Cudighi) Cerca – Cross Through (self released) Oldowon – Corpus Compus (NOMASTER) Corey Carris Duncan – Corpus Compus (NOMASTER) YOL – split w/ Cromwell Ate A Twix Here (Strategic Tape Reserve) Storyteller – 5: Blood on the Fairway (ADAADAT) Fascinating Facts (wrong side) – 2-XL Audio Program Tape (Tiger Electronics)

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'Blood on the Fairway' is the new cassette album from 'Storyteller' and tells a woeful tale of golf and extra-terrestrial cannibalism. Illustrations by Chris Wright of Turbo Island. It is released 15 December 2025 on Adaadat. Storyteller 5 - Blood on the Fairway - press release

Storytellertapes.bandcamp

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Storyteller support 'Daddy's Coming Home' debut performance. Glasgow - 19th December 2025 - Exit. Tickets available here. This is going to be a mighty fine piece of Santa served up on coal.

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Design Observer recently interviewed Rob and I on the making of 'District Nurse.' 'How to make a horror film with no money, no script and lots of friends.' "There’s a nod to post-partum depression, a detective hot on the trail of something, kidnapped women, a missing baby, and madness involving plastic dolls and entrails. There’s also a film within the film, featuring actual person-on-the-street interviews of good-natured national park visitors earnestly sharing “reports” of a woman who gave birth to a sea creature in the California desert.

Who wouldn’t want to meet the minds that came up with all of that?" Thank you Ellen McGirt for taking the time out to watch the film and get in touch with us.

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Many years ago (2005) I co-founded and fronted an experimental explosion of a band called 'Le Couteau Jaune,' until I was thrown out for not partying hard enough with group members (I had a bloody day job) post gigs. We used lots of props, home-made costumes, make-up, fire, fake blood, vegetables, frozen chickens, you name it, to create chaos on stage. The shows were short and sharp and left the audience confused (who knew what we were going to do on the day) but always with a smile on their faces. We also had some MTV2 play for our only music video, 'Manhunt 2,' which was made by Weirdcore, who went on to work with Aphex Twin. Over the years, the band took on many guises with an ever changing line-up. Very little was caught on camera because this was before the abundance of smart phones. Basically, you had to be there. Anyway, it was good to hear Charli xcx (7m50s) was a fan and we became an influence for her. Thank you to everyone who was either in or performed with the band including: Darryl (co-founder) who has kept this excellent photo archive, Bjorn, Anne, Esther, Anti, Matkore, Rob U and Sean.

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Storyteller play the Klinker Club - Frome - 22 November 2025

"Wildly experimental music, poetry, performance and film night returns to Frome. KLINKER club presents …. Landscape Suicide (Aberystwyth) play musical saw and drones, KLINKER founder Hugh Metcalfe and Dwhyte Olivers collaborate on a live soundtrack to accompany super 8 films and Ian George performance poetry. 22nd November, doors 7:30 for a 7:45pm start £10 or £6 concessions."

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Thank you to Dark Eyes of London for reviewing my little seen folk horror film, 'District Nurse.' You can watch the Original or the Special Edition. Depends if you prefer colour or B&W. Either way, it is an example of 'elevated horror.' District Nurse was shot between 2013 and 2017 and screened twice in January 2018 - Bristol (Cube) and London (Rio). According to this review, it came out in 2020 which is not the case.

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Storyteller airing new electric material - LDN - 27 September 2025 - Soho Electronic: New Festival of Synth

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This Is My Dressing Gown (2025)

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