[super mark blog]

[thesupermarkblog]

The Residue of a Relationship. 

I am someone who lives in the past. Always wondering what if and craving those moments that made me who I am. So when I stumble upon a short film that takes a bit of my madness and puts it into a visual experience, I just have to pause and reflect on it. 

The Residue of a Relationship is a film about those little (and big) moments that have an effect on your life long after a relationship is over. It is so much more than a traditional short narrative film and may be a little cheesy to some, but there was just something there that made me stop and appreciate every single thing I’ve been through over the last few years. 

Yes, I can I relate. I have been through heartbreak. I have no idea what I am doing with my life, but is it too late to start living?

Never. 

It may be too late to get my cell phone and call someone from my past, but it is never late to get out of bed, smile and just live. 

Take a step. Then take another. Sooner or later, you’ll be where you want to be and you will not even realize how you got there. 

And then one day, you will wake up and think about it for just a moment. One singular moment. 

“I’m proud of you. I’m proud of everything you’ve done. And I wish you the best.”

Words never conveyed. A conversation that never happened.

But you mean them all, just the same. 

...

Another film that inspired me. Another moment from the past. 

There is a whole lot more to it, but I’ll take it just the same. 

MG@27

[thesupermarkblog]

The Point of No Return

So October 12th is the halfway point of my current year. Directly in the middle of my past and upcoming birthday. 

It’s been a strange year thus far. I’m not really sure where I am going or how I am going to get there. 

The things that have defined me in life before are seeming more and more distant with each passing day. It’s weird and I can’t really say with certainty what exactly is holding me back. 

It’s not sadness. Maybe it’s complacency? 

Have I become to comfortable in my daily routine?

It might be it.

I’m not sad. I’m not ecstatic. 

I’m not living, but not simply existing either. 

And I’ll be damned if that isn’t the worst way to live a life. 

I’m just caught in the middle of mediocrity and stuck in this weird stage in my life. 

“Life is an endless journey”

Yoga is still good. I’m a better photographer and I still make movies. 

I play trumpet with a band every once and a while. 

I run around with my cat.

“You gotta find your own purpose in life, baby.”

Here’s to the second part of this chapter. 

[thesupermarkblog]

Halfway to 27

Mark

[thesupermarkblog]

The Next Chapter or “Season 26″

Today, marks the second year of the #SuperMarkBlog. I started this blog a year ago to give myself a place to post my thoughts and share content that speaks to me. 

It’s funny to look back on the last year of my life and see where I’ve ended up. Life at 25 was a scary and uncertain year, but looking at in after the fact makes me appreciate every single moment that much more. 

I finished my Master’s Degree program at Texas A&M University, moved away from College Station, had a few people walk out of my life, made a ton of new friends, experienced highs and lows, but what a year. 

I’ve gotten back to the basics and feel so much better about myself. 

It all starts with me. 

I want this next chapter or “Season 26″ to be the greatest one yet. 

No baggage and a fresh start. 

Let’s get this. 

[thesupermarkblog]

The Playlist

It's something that I've always considered to be a special gift.

As someone who has used music to shaped my personality these past 8/10 years, a mix cd is something that I considered a tremendously personal gift.

If you have ever received a mix cd from me, chances are I really liked you or enjoyed having you as a friend.

For me, the art of crafting a playlist has been something of an obsession. I'll select the songs and then spend several days or weeks to make sure everything flows right and the underlying theme is clear.

My first mix cd that I created was a Valentine's Day playlist in 2009.

It was the first time I had ever attempted something like this and I think I got it right.

It told a story and have a message.

"I like you, but I can't be with you. I hope you will always be happy."

That's it.

So simple, but it took a collection of songs to make me realize that that was what I was trying to say.

I even didn't realize it myself until some time later when I was listening to it.

Every subsequent mix cd that I made was something special to me.

From a happy birthday gift to a close friend, to a "Me Mix" that played on the most important first date that I have ever had...

Those playlists take me back to a certain time in my life and it's a magical thing to still have.

MG. 2-13-16

[thesupermarkblog]

I am the luckiest. 

Another Christmas has come and gone, and by all accounts it was a good one. 

After all the traditional festivities, I sat down with my folks and watched a movie called About Time. 

It’s a interesting little film that I’ve seen once before, about a family in which the men can time travel to any point in their past. 

Without getting to much into the film, it was about family and the relationships between them. 

It kind of hit me right in the heart and I had to fight back some tears. 

The father in the film passed away, but the son kept reliving time with him until he no longer couldn’t due to circumstances surrounding their power. 

Their farewell made me entirely appreciate the fact that I am getting to spend quality time with my parents after spending the past seven years away in a city far away. 

For what it is worth, I believe I am the luckiest. 

So I plan to cherish each day and live each day to the fullest. 

Friends and most people come and go in your life, but family is always there no matter what. 

Merry Christmas. 

[thesupermarkblog]

I’m slightly saddened by the fact that I never posted a review of this short film the first time I watched it.

It is call Me & You, and it tells the basic story of a relationship from start to finish, through the point of view of the guy’s room. 

Now anyone who has ever been in a relationship before, knows a room becomes the defacto home base for movie nights, dinners, breakfasts... pretty much anything and everything. 

Now where this film gets me, is that it is so relatable. Almost to the point where I was brought to tears just watching it (even on the millionth time I watched it). 

It’s real. It’s honest. And it sucks that it makes me feel that way from an emotional stand point, but my god. As a filmmaker, it has everything that makes it relatable and memorable for the audience. 

2015 has been a year that hasn’t brought particularly good memories, but it wasn’t a total wash. 

Me & You reminds me of a journey that I started back in 2012, but one that was cut abruptly short. 

I finished that journey, but got lost along the way. 

(Just like how this started as a film review, but devolved into this.)

I didn’t end up where I wanted to be and some of the characters in my story didn’t make it through to the end. 

So I’m at the point in my life, where I want to turn the page and move on to the next chapter.

I just can’t find the corner of the page to flip it. 

[thesupermarkblog]

A Dream Upon Waking

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, but at the same time it couldn’t be further away from reality?

It happens and maybe it could be the turning point in your life if you let it.

A dream where you’re on a trip in college… well, a dream version of college with lots of familiar faces.

In some town you’ve ever seen before but just have to explore.

There are also certain people who were the catalyst for all this change who appear with new faces and friends of their own.

In this dream you feel good and kind of hopeful.

There is a talking cat who gives you a chance and believes in you when nobody else will.

There is a quirky manic-pixie dream girl who doesn’t quite give you the time of day in front of others, but is quietly rooting you on.

The careful advisor who gives you a push to be better… and you do get better.

And the friend, that always has your back even when you go off and explore on your own.

It’s all there.

The ingredients for a new life, carefully placed inside a dream that couldn’t feel any more like an independent movie.

As I wake up, I attempt to remember the whole story about how friends leave and then your left with a few loved ones that truly care about you.

Whether its an imaginary cat that looks just like the one you have in real life.

Or the friend who’s conversations in real life aren’t that different from the dream.

I’m on my way to change.

It’s scary and it will wake you up from a wonderful journey of a dream.

I’m awake now.

The pieces that I can remember are fading, but I want to experience life and everything it has to offer.

Because dreams are just that.

A path to follow while you’re awake.

And follow it I will.

[thesupermarkblog]

[the infinite abyss]

There are so many possibilities for what could happen each day. 

You have to walk out that door, though. 

If you don’t walk out the door, then nothing will happen. 

Branches on a tree. Or something like that. 

These days have been quiet, but not anything I’m not used to. 

Nothing out of the ordinary at all. 

[thesupermarkblog]

I’m still here.

I’ll make more of an effort to post everyday. I’m trying to wrap up school and whatnot, but that’s not an excuse to not post a few thoughts each day. 

#StillAlive #StillMe

[thesupermarkblog]

I’ve been neglecting this blog until I got some stuff in my life together. I’ll get into more detail on that in a bit, but I stumbled upon this video just a few minutes ago. 

It is called Still and it is a very real look at the emotions that linger after a break up. This film is very simple in its concept. A midnight call to a former lover when emotions get the better of you. 

I could feel the tension throughout and the actors did a great job of selling their character’s unrequited love story, or maybe just a glimpse into how things used to be. Nowadays, that would probably be a text accompanied by emoticons, unfortunately enough. 

Still, kind of clawed away at my heart for about 3 minutes and I had a hunch that’s where that ending was headed. It’s such a shitty experience to have to go through. I’ve been there at a few points in my life. 

That emotion is real. That pain is real. The feeling of knowing you may never be with someone you love, ever again, is one of the worst in the world. 

It would be cliche to bring up the phrase, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened,” but yeah it does apply here. 

I’d treasure the sadness because that means you experienced something that was real and worth having.

No matter where things end up, you’ll have those memories (and possibly even a little JellyDog) to provide some comfort during the rain. 

-MG

[thesupermarkblog]

Tonight was the first time I heard Cloud Generator by Tycho. It sets a good mood for my previous blog post. 

I’ve been a Tycho fan for about 4 or 5 years now and own a few of his albums.

Ironically enough, I have to attribute this to Adult Swim and Toonami. 

Seriously, Toonami has brought back my middle school love of electronic music, that it was responsible for all those years ago. 

It’s the little things that make life worth it. 

I’ll file this music under that “little things” category.

[thesupermarkblog]

Nostalgia, Dreams and Reality

So these past few days have been a lot more... let’s go with enjoyable and memorable than they have been in a long time. 

If you’re reading this, you probably know me to some extent and know that I’m not a depressive or melancholy person. Sometimes you just slip into a routine and forget to live the life that is right in front of you. 

That’s exactly how I’ve felt since September. I haven’t been living my life to the fullest and that’s a damn shame. 

For reasons, that I do not need to or want to get into, I had to learn to be myself once again. 

You are probably wondering, “How do you get to know yourself? You are yourself?”

Well it is a lot more complicated (and simple) than that. I think I’ll get into this on another blog post. 

Back to the present and past few days. 

It all started with a SWAMP meeting where I got to hang out and talk with some old friends that I hadn’t really taken the time to converse with in about 3 years. 

It was nice and maybe kick started a series of events that would make me question what year it was.

On Friday, I got to enjoy the fine sounds of a band that basically jump started Bebop Media and provided an outlet for me to do my media thing. 

The Conglomerate, and all those dudes, played a reunion show in Downtown Bryan and I shot probably my final concert in this town. What a fitting way to end my time here. Then I got to hang out and just enjoy the evening. 

It was literally like nothing had changed and all these guys that I played music with while an undergrad just made things feel right again. 

It almost felt like 2012 again. The nostalgia bug was alive and well, but I took a great deal away from it all. 

I remembered how to live in the moment and love who I am. 

That’s such a cliche but I feel a sense of calm that I haven’t felt in years.

This naturally has carried over into my everyday life. 

On Sunday evening, I went to a mic check slam poetry/pie event with a few good friends. 

It was so enjoyable and also a bit nostalgic. 

The chilly evening air at Revolution in Bryan took me back a few years. 

In that moment, I knew that I didn’t have to live in the past. That this was happening right now. 

Life was happening.  

And I was enjoying it and soaking up every minute. 

So I did what any rational person who lives in the moment would do in this situation... 

I signed up for the open mic section and began to write a piece to perform on my phone. 

Yeah, slightly crazy, right?

Hell yes. 

But I wasn’t scared and I knew just what to write. 

So I took the stage and talked about what has been on my mind all these months. 

I got a good response but that’s not why I did it. 

I did it for me. 

And that felt good. Great even. 

I took the stage for me and did not worry what people thought. 

That’s who I want to be again. 

I’m not entirely there yet but it is a start. 

I’m going to be who I want to be and it will be great. 

So thanks to everyone this weekend who helped me get back to the right path that I belong on. 

It means much more than I ever can express. 

Late. 

[thesupermarkblog]

This short film is called I Ship It, and it is a film that I have watched several times in the past few months. 

It is a quirky and fun rom-com that reminds me of a little Edgar Wright project called Scott Pilgrim. 

I Ship It does a great job of communicating the struggles of post-break up wallowing and sorrow, but it does it in a way that just makes you root for the main characters. 

It has some very geeky qualities and the editing and sound design are top-notch. The actors have good chemistry and shine on their own.

I know this will be a film that I keep coming back to for the next several years if I ever need any inspiration... whether that would be relationship or filmmaking inspiration. 

Check it out if you have 20 minutes.  

[thesupermarkblog]

Do you ever wonder?

So let me pose a question here. Do you ever what life would be if you just would have appreciated those little moments a little more? 

It’s something that I think about every single day. 

Now this whole thought process of mine occurred because of a series of events  that changed my life towards the end of last summer and the beginning of the fall semester. 

I won’t get into specifics here, but I’ve had to reevaluate a lot of my life. Where I’m headed, who I am and why I’m even in this town to begin with. 

I would dare even call it a “quarter-life crisis”, but who knows if that does it justice. 

Simply put, I’m not sad but I’m not happy. There are few things to get excited and motivated for here in this college town. 

And that is so disappointing. 

Disappointment has been the theme of this last year of college. 

I think that’s probably the best way to describe most of my emotions for this past year.

I’ve let people walk out of my life and that has clearly affected me.

Which brings me to the question at the top of this post.

Yes. I wonder all the time. 

All. The. Time. 

This uncertainty is terrible. 

To be continued... 

[thesupermarkblog]

I present this video with no comment, other than it took about an hour. 

Now it has over 5k views in just 2 days. 

[thesupermarkblog]

Song: Wings for a Drowning Man by The MRA. 

I was in a music video a few years back directed by my friend Jessica Szeto. She was working on a project and for whatever reason I cannot remember we decided to use this song by another one of my friends from back home. At the time they were called The Square Roots. 

Anyway, it isn’t a very hopeful video, but it does capture (at some level) what it is like to date in college. 

It’s interesting to look back at this video because at the time, I was so clueless to the notion of love and dating. So I was very much just acting and playing a part.

I think it is worth it too revisit this topic and video at a later time, but I just wanted to get something out there. 

Write everyday. And stuff.