Colette could feel Nova thinking. It was something weird between them where Nova would know when Colette was in a mood and Colette knew when Nova was digging so deep into her own mind she'd likely get lost in the possibility tangents she went on and get so twisted up and torn up she wouldn't know which one was reality and which wasn't. So, her fingers settled into Nova's hair gently, stroking along her scalp and careful not to snag a single loc in the process.
"I know you have me, bรจbรจ. It is why I will always have you." The French came out thick then. Perhaps it was something about Colette's feelings and emotions that caused the accent to deepen, or was it the comfort she had around Nova? Either could be true. Or both, "But do not let it go to your head."
Nova was one of the only people Colette could be around for long periods of time and not end up in a tirade; she could sit and be her softest self (as soft as Colette got anyway) and not have to worry about someone taking advantage. It didn't mean her guard was ENTIRELY down but it meant a fuck of a lot more than it did with others, so there's that.
"I doubt any of us have. It is hard to scope out. Everyone, in the moment, thinks that they are in love. It's a chemical reaction in the brain meant to make things seem perfect so we'll crap out a bunch of kids..." She paused a moment, biting her tongue and pulling back her tangent. Nova had been good to her all the time they'd known each other (well, after they'd gotten through their rough patches) and she kind of owed her something more concrete, "I mean... I have never even felt anything like it. No one has ever made me feel as if I was their world or they were mine? I mean, present company excluded, this is entirely different."
Colette paused for a moment, drawing her fingers down to trace the bridge of Nova's nose, inhaling very deeply and offering, "If anyone deserves to get the true love story, it's you, Nova. " Again, such vulnerability and such raw honesty... she wanted her friend to know she'd be loved and should continue to be loved.
Then Nova had to go and Colette the whole thing and fuck it all up.
While she didn't actually throw her friend to the floor, she leaned over and bit the bridge of the nose she'd just been stroking, letting out a tiny, almost feral puppy growl, "Tu es une scorie," the French was given without any real venom to it, and the growl itself had ended in a very small, very strained laugh.
There was likely some level of Colette that would literally start to melt if she were too nice. Too long spent hating everything meant that when she loved someone it would be so hard to express at first and be almost painful. Maybe that meant she shouldn't ever get to be loved like that.
"You missed me too, don't try to deny it. Je t'aime, bรจbรจ." And she meant it... call it the sentimentality of it all, but she guessed Nova was allowed to hear it sometimes.