the smell of cognac on a silk pillowcase; a thousand forgotten moments in a lifetime; the indescribable feeling of being ignored; manicured nails with dark polish; a single wilting flower in a forgotten vase in the foyer
basic info.
full name: colette arsine
nickname: ms. arsine, lette (rare)
name meaning: people of victory
age: 27
date of birth: may 14, 2010 (june 6, 1997)
star sign: gemini
place of birth: nice, france
current location: upper east side, manhattan, new york
gender: trans femme
pronouns: she/her
sexual orientation: pansexual, demiromantic
religion: atheist
occupation: socialite with several personal ventures
family: frank arsine (father), alexandra arsine (mother), skylar arsine (cousin), gemma braun (cousin), maxwell arsine (uncle), gennifer arsine (aunt)
education level: somehow graduated with high marks, no further degree pursued.
living arrangements: top floor penthouse of hotel and bar owned by father and run by colette
financial status: filthy rich
spoken languages: english, french, italian
personality: (-) self-indulgent, manipulative, impulsive (+) creative, focused, driven
inspiration.
chuck bass (gossip girl), faith lehane (buffy the vampire slayer/angel), amber (clueless), miranda priestly (the devil wears prada), cordelia chase (buffy the vampire slayer/angel), lydia martin (teen wolf), victoria chase (life is strange)
trigger warnings for beneath the cut: drug use, alcohol use, transition,
bio.
Colette was born wrong. Not just in the eyes of her parents because she was a precocious child, but in the soul of herself. She was assigned the wrong gender and bucked against that tradition for so long she can't remember, nor does she want to remember, a life before the moment she was allowed to be her true self.
Her birth, as she counts it, happened on May 14, 2010. Her parents, done with her attitude and honestly just choosing to give her whatever she wanted to be done with the excess of trouble they were being given. It was no skin off their nose what their child chose to be, as long as they did so at least somewhat quietly.
Fourteen year old Colette had a long time to mature into the person she was through all her treatments. She learned to manipulate the people around her in those days out of sheer boredom and the fact that, at the time, people were still giving odd looks to her for the choice. Perhaps a lot of her attitude is informed by the fact that she never felt like anyone accepted who she was anymore than they had accepted who she had been.
It wasn't until she entered private school at the age of sixteen, a seemingly entirely new person as far as anyone was concerned, that things seemed to change. She found her footing, found her position, and honestly had what she considered more money than god and the ability to throw it around. She was, in essence, spoiled, and it showed in everything she did.
Manipulation was second nature, finding most of her friends by her side by the sheer flaunt of money, parties, and status; she ruled by fear more than anything and likely never had a true friend. Those who might have been considered true friends are still wary of her - still keep her at arm's length because no matter what, she is unpredictable. She is, at her very core, venomous and in it for herself more than anyone else.
It didn't help that the drugs and alcohol were plentiful for people of their echelon. The addiction came fast and easy and though she convinces herself she's always in control of it, never making a public nuisance of herself, the fact is that she torments everyone in her life with her rash decisions and bad ideas which are a result of said addiction.
There was no stopping Colette once she found out just how much power she had, and she hasn't looked back since.
headcanons.
colette has a stuffed bear named terrence given to her by her first au pair in france that she sort of cherishes
colette spoke french before she spoke english and has the accent to reflect it. sometimes when angry she slips right back into french without even noticing.
colette always has her nails done no matter what. they are always manicured, polished, and ready to fight, so to speak.
colette owns partial stake in a fashion company that supplies most of the current trends to manhattan's new teen legends.
colette has a personal account outside of her funds from her family that is loaded with cash as a sort of 'just in case of emergency'; the reason and benefactor is unknown and most people are unaware of the account.
colette has mild bichromia. one of her eyes is brown and hazel (halved right down the middle) and the other is just brown.
colette was in a music video on more than one occasion and has absolutely obliterated any of the ones that existed pre-transition.
colette does not associate with her dead name whatsoever.
colette reinvented herself twice over and sees the dead name's life as a fuzzy memory of someone else's time.
colette once set the school's library drapes on fire; no one knows if it was on purpose but nothing ever came of it as her father paid to have it buried.
colette, for some reason, knows krav maga.
wanted connections.
the one friend who always stayed — like chuck had nate (for the most part), colette needs someone in her life who understands that she's broken and flawed but still always comes back to help her. she probably considers them her truest friend even if she'd lash out and be hard pressed to admit it, but this is the person who is the first call when shit goes tits-up. taken by Nova
the one she could have been happy with but keeps destroying the relationship — again, like chuck had blair, colette is the type to have found someone that sees and understands her, flaws and all, and still can't seem to stop fucking it up. whether by her own self destructive behavior or by pushing them away entirely she keeps making a mess of things and your character and she just keep coming back together all over again to try.
the corrupted — colette likes to collect people in some ways. she has a whole cadre of people she's used up and spat out for various reasons, but this one was more like a protégé. she took your character under her wing and taught them everything she knows and, in essence, destroyed the good person that they were a little bit with her own tainted means. taken by Daisy
the power three — this one goes for two characters and everyone will have to be on board with it. basically the ride or dies that don't actually have any intention of sacrificing for one another (even though they might if push comes to shove). these are the ones colette steps out on the town with and makes a ruckus, or the ones to join in on her business ventures. they'd be mean girls if they cared enough to be mean to people... or paid attention to anyone outside of their own bubble.
the betrayed — colette gave bad business advice and, whether it was on purpose or not, your character suffered for it. money lost, confidence ruined, reputation tarnished and colette's response was a shrug and an explanation that the business world is tricky and things can change at the drop of a hat. very contentious.
the frenemy — there are some people who come into your life and make you better by teaching you how to truly spite someone. your character and colette are close because of your school days and you've always tried to one-up one another, which has always fueled colette's fire to push the envelope. she might hate your character sometimes but she has absolutely no idea what to do without them to fight against.
anything in between — I am always up for plotting connections and routes for RP with colette you just gotta hmu!
All the talk about love and being in love, she couldn't help but to let her mind travel to Elliott. She truthfully didn't completely know how she felt about him. She was enamored with him sure, knew things about him that other's likely didn't, of course, and yes, she did love him but in what way? Her feelings for him felt so complicated because she had never actually openly expressed them towards him. It was a very delicate and very complicated situation. She thought he was cute, that was a given, and he was much deeper than he came off to be with his family business persona. Though, after leaving Brie at the alter and returning, he felt a little more human outside of their private chats.
That was the other issue though. Brie. Sure, Brie was dating Gabriel or whatever, but Nova didn't know how she felt about actually stepping on the woman's toes when it came to Elliott. That was a line she wasn't sure that she wanted to cross, even if she kind of already had. Plus, she had no idea how Elliott saw her. Was she just a friend, like a sister, or something more? They never really talked about it. Sitting in limbo was a hell of a thing.
Sighing out gently, she gazed up at Colette and chuckled. "You can touch my hair." The thought of Colette knowing better made her giggle from the depths of her. "Only you though. I'd absolutely punch someone else out," she laughed.
"That's true." Settling now, Nova relaxed once more in her friends lap. "I feel the same honestly." Thinking on it, time and time again Colette had proved to be more than a friend. She was family. "We're just safe with each other. No matter what." Closing her eyes, Nova let out a hum. "I always got you Lette. You know that right?" Nova knew that Colette kept things from her, but she figured it was for her own good. She knew that her friend had a tendency to get dark sometimes and she likely was just trying to save her from spiraling as well.
"I know..." It came out in a whisper. "The older I get... the more I think I've never really been in love either." It was an admission that she was sure Colette already knew. "In lust... sure... love... I guess, but in love that's something completely different. I think that when you're in love you never fall out of it." Opening her eyes, she looked up at her friend again. "I just think that it'll happen when you least expect it Lette. In the wildest way you'll just fall head over heels in love." Nova was beaming cheesily now. "And you'll be just like all the rest of us love stuck foolish woman." She poked her friend in the side now before her smile grew even brighter.
"Oh reaaally." Before she went on, her lips pulled in a tight line to stop herself from going any further, though her eyes were sparkling as she wiggled around happily against the cushions. Finally she just couldn't hold it anymore and she gushed. "You missed me. You looooooove me."
Colette could feel Nova thinking. It was something weird between them where Nova would know when Colette was in a mood and Colette knew when Nova was digging so deep into her own mind she'd likely get lost in the possibility tangents she went on and get so twisted up and torn up she wouldn't know which one was reality and which wasn't. So, her fingers settled into Nova's hair gently, stroking along her scalp and careful not to snag a single loc in the process.
"I know you have me, bèbè. It is why I will always have you." The French came out thick then. Perhaps it was something about Colette's feelings and emotions that caused the accent to deepen, or was it the comfort she had around Nova? Either could be true. Or both, "But do not let it go to your head."
Nova was one of the only people Colette could be around for long periods of time and not end up in a tirade; she could sit and be her softest self (as soft as Colette got anyway) and not have to worry about someone taking advantage. It didn't mean her guard was ENTIRELY down but it meant a fuck of a lot more than it did with others, so there's that.
"I doubt any of us have. It is hard to scope out. Everyone, in the moment, thinks that they are in love. It's a chemical reaction in the brain meant to make things seem perfect so we'll crap out a bunch of kids..." She paused a moment, biting her tongue and pulling back her tangent. Nova had been good to her all the time they'd known each other (well, after they'd gotten through their rough patches) and she kind of owed her something more concrete, "I mean... I have never even felt anything like it. No one has ever made me feel as if I was their world or they were mine? I mean, present company excluded, this is entirely different."
Colette paused for a moment, drawing her fingers down to trace the bridge of Nova's nose, inhaling very deeply and offering, "If anyone deserves to get the true love story, it's you, Nova. " Again, such vulnerability and such raw honesty... she wanted her friend to know she'd be loved and should continue to be loved.
Then Nova had to go and Colette the whole thing and fuck it all up.
While she didn't actually throw her friend to the floor, she leaned over and bit the bridge of the nose she'd just been stroking, letting out a tiny, almost feral puppy growl, "Tu es une scorie," the French was given without any real venom to it, and the growl itself had ended in a very small, very strained laugh.
There was likely some level of Colette that would literally start to melt if she were too nice. Too long spent hating everything meant that when she loved someone it would be so hard to express at first and be almost painful. Maybe that meant she shouldn't ever get to be loved like that.
"You missed me too, don't try to deny it. Je t'aime, bèbè." And she meant it... call it the sentimentality of it all, but she guessed Nova was allowed to hear it sometimes.
“God, look at them.” Everett gestured to a group of girls that had turned the restaurant into their own personal photoshoot. “When they were at their table earlier they barely looked up from their phones. If I’m ever like that, I’d hope sone one would just put me out of my misery. Quickly.”
Colette, trifling as this cunt was, didn't hesitate in taking out her phone and leaning in to Everett's personal bubble without quite touching him and snapping a selfie. She made it apparent she was typing in ridiculous hashtags and had it queued up on instagram, the phone angled for him to see it, before she'd blink somewhat innocently, "Oh, did you say something?"
Fuck, though, he was hot. Sometimes she got in over her head with these things, but she remembered Everett a bit. Perhaps some board meeting? Or maybe he was just another rich prick in the city that she just happened to pass across because she was also rich beyond the telling of it. Didn't fucking matter in the end, because Colette was always going to be Colette no matter the cost.
"Whatever. I agree that they're annoying but they're also entertaining because I bet you before the night is out two of them end up making out from getting blitzed and we get to see the drama that ensues. It'll be fucking glorious." She shrugs and leans back a bit in her seat, looking over at him, "And if it helps, I'll definitely kill you if you get too annoying... like that, of course."
There was a magnificent smile, then, a single brow lofted; was she joking? Fuck if anyone knows.
he did not expect her to join him, after all, their worlds colliding was not common and knowing who was her friends (if colette even had friends, of course) they should not really cross path. but as far as what gabe knew of colette, she would always do the fuck she wanted to do.
but the way the french left her mouth, her snarky tone, gabe couldn't help but smile. lean his head on his hand innocently, offering the woman his sweetest smile. "ma chère colette," he went out with a french girl once, or perhaps she was from montreal?, but she did teach him a bit of french and any respectable hipster poet like himself would at least try to read les fleurs du mal in french. though his intention was not to insult colette's origin, it was probably unwise to go the french route with her. still, he prided himself in the fact he could understand her.
all in all, gabe was high as fuck, so wisdom was far from his goal right now. "tu es resplendissante ce soir." he clinged his drink against hers, straightened up to get a better look at his newfound company. her question still unanswered, but not forgotten. was his appendange dispensing drugs? was that it? that would explain so much of the last few years, truly. or the last 30 minutes, he thought with a smile. "i don't know, colette." he shrugged, ran a hand again in his hair. "i think there's something attractive in people being true to themselves, wouldn't you think?"
the wrong thing to do tonight, would be to give in the urge to flirt with colette. as much as gabe was still pissed at nova, for the song thing but also for her accusing him of whatever she accused him of at the kiss on the lips night, he had not intention to hurt her. though, would it hurt her truly if she knew? they both made it clear their relationship was over, had been for awhile now - there was also absolutely no signs that colette would ever be interested in little old him.
so what would be the harm in trying?
gabe would flirt with absolutely everything and everyone in this state, and that was a given for people who knew him on a personal level. bonus point to him if it made him forget about a particular blonde terror. "but don't worry, colette ma jolie, these confusing feelings, they'll go one day."
Expecting anything from Colette was the best way to be surprised. She often leaned towards the unexpected in the things she'd do, like there might have been a part of her that knew he thought she wouldn't come over, which was the exact reason that she did. It's hard to tell with her, though, and she'd never let anyone know outright.
A brow lifted as he spoke French. It wasn't bad, but the accent was a tiny bit off. The way the corner of her mouth tugged up at one corner as he spoke her mother tongue was more a smirk than a smile, and she responded, "J'ai toujours l'air fabuleux, Gabriel, c'est mon secret." before reaching out to mime booping his nose.
She wouldn't touch anyone without their permission, but she figured if he was this high she could treat him as a precious little thing anyway. She wasn't attracted to Gabe, per se, but she saw his appeal physically to some degree. Not to the point that her peers seemed to love throwing themselves all over him, but he was cute in the way that a puppy is. She loved puppies, but not the responsibility, and usually a man can take care of himself, right? Maybe she needed to get a live-in Gabriel-type.
But she would never let him forget he was a puppy.
Her face was done up tonight, darkly lined eyes and her lashes were full and lush, with bright colors swathed across her lids and some, it seemed, catching certain lights in fluorescence. She was the very picture of a girl who should be at a club, not a dive, but she seemed so at home. So fetching, non?
"I am always myself, so I have to agree, mon petit ours en peluche." He did give off the proper vibes, but she knew that beneath all the snuggly vibes was the heart of a killer. Not literally, of course, at least so far as she knew, but he would slice his way through anyone without much thought given to it. He liked to think himself as vaunted and better than the people he hung around with sometimes, but he was just as shallow on most days. At least as far as Colette saw him. She could be wrong.
"Oh I am not confused about my feelings for you, Gabriel. You are sometimes pretty to look at, especially when intoxicated, like a piece of art that won't sell in the gallery but someone buys in a stupor when they're trying to impress someone else. Your affections are... fleeting, at best, and if I were going to ever have 'feelings' for someone it wouldn't be someone that would treat them as transitory like buying a ticket at the station. And honestly I am not sure how to deal with the whole unwashed hipster vibe. You use product in your hair that costs so much and yet you want to give off this randomly bohemian vibe that does it for some women, I guess, but all I see is a man hiding his truest self behind armor he built over time to keep up the appearance of not giving a shit what any of us think when he desperately wants to be liked." A shrug lifts her shoulders, and, even if she was wrong, no one would convince Colette of that.
She knew who she was well enough to stick to her guns about what she saw other people as. There was a reason Nova had gotten into Colette's heart eventually. She was worth it; she stuck it out, and now she was 'stuck' with Colette.
To that point, if the night were very long and the options had dwindled, she would not be adverse to taking a tumble with Gabriel Miller. She would think of Nova and wonder for a moment the implications of such an action, but at the same time she had to trust Nova when she told her her feelings for Gabriel were very much past-feelings and that she didn't care.
Colette knew better, probably, but... you have to take people at their word, right?
Allowing her friends words to sink in, Nova curled even further into the couch. "No unconditional love?" That sounded so foreign to her. Wasn't that the point of love? To not love someone unconditionally felt blasphemous to her. If you weren't going to love with your full heart what was the point? Maybe that was it. That was her problem. She was giving so much love to others. People that absolutely did not deserve it. It was draining to be completely and utterly honest. Though, there were those that were deserving of her unconditional love.
Case and point Colette. Nova loved Collette with her whole heart and a part of her left lung too. There was nothing in the world that Colette could do to shake her - and sometimes Nova felt like Colette tried. She knew that her friend wasn't used to the love and care that she showed, so it could be fear inducing and often times Colette ran from it but Nova would always be there for her friend, no matter what. It just felt natural to her.
"I value myself." The words came out more like a thought than a statement but she meant it. "I just know that love is healing and the world definitely needs more of it. You're right, not every one deserves a hundred percent of me and I'm going to work on that but spreading love is so beautiful and you know it Lette." Nova couldn't help it, she was born with a big heart and she wore it on her sleeve, despite how dangerous and devastating it could be.
She was lucky. Despite this huge flaw, she'd never truly been hurt. Yes, her sister passing was devastating but that's different. That's familiar. Blood and bone. Romantically, her most vulnerable place, she's just been coasting by. Yes, this is due to the fact that she'd been with Gabe for years and while their break up hurt her it wasn't earth shattering. She honestly had no idea how a heart breaking split would change her. Hopefully she never had to find out.
Nodding along to Colette, Nova shifted with a small hmm until she was laying down with her head in her friends lap, looking up at her. "That's true. We do know everything about each other, huh?" Shaking her head, she sighed out. "I'm not exactly ashamed about my dirt, I just don't want those snobby bitches to have yet another reason to turn their nose up at me, ya'know?"
Colette, to her credit, believed in love in some cases. She had yet to see it, experience it, or feel it, but she believed it could (and likely should) exist. She just saw so many of her peers throwing themselves into disarray over the merest thought of love and being wanted that she wanted to scream, but they were grown ass people with grown ass decisions to make. She can't take care of everyone, after all, and she knew that there were people out there who would. Like Nova.
It wasn't good for Nova to put so much of herself out there. She was burning at both ends, and since Colette cared for her, she saw it and didn't like it. She knew she could never convince her to be as laisses faire about things like Colette is, but baby steps were good enough.
Colette's fingers shifted to settle on Nova's forehead, stroking there — tracing small patterns and touching near the hairline but never truly fucking with her hair because she knew better — and managed a small smile; tiny, but genuine. The truth was, Colette might have never been in love or never been hurt but both of those things are life-changing experiences; maybe she was missing out on some kind of growth in avoiding them, but in truth she just hadn't found anyone worth the effort in the romance department.
She was surrounded by philistines, generally.
"I mean we've sort of had to adapt. I'm not used to giving a shit about people like I give a shit about you and eventually I realized I had to tell you things." Anything Colette hadn't told Nova hadn't been out of wanting to lie to her, but more that it just hadn't occurred to her to bring it up. She didn't think it at that moment, but that was likely one of the ways a Gossip Girl blast would fuck her up.
"I mean you know this but probably have never heard me admit it: I've never been in love? I understand the concept of it, I mean, and I get that my constant complaints about it seem ignorant because of the fact that I haven't actually been in love in that romantic, gooey way, but at the same time maybe my brain's evolved to the point that I will avoid these things because I know what they are." She shrugs. Anything to justify her own choices in life, really.
She'd watched her parents marriage. She'd watched the divorce and the remarrying and the infidelity. She'd watched a lot of things happen in her life revolving around love and had seen what it did to the people who experienced it. Maybe that made her feel like some creature in the wild evolving gills because of the sudden shift in climate heralding a flood of her habitat; she's smarter than she looks, at any rate.
"Regardless... I missed you, at least. Don't make it a big thing that I said that or I swear to god I will roll you right the fuck off my lap and this couch and laugh about it." She wouldn't laugh, to be honest, but she probably would do the rolling. Colette's complicated.
"molly may be more effective." brie suggests with a shrug, having had plenty of barely remembered nights with nalin, where her she didn't up in a tmz article -- just a terrible come down from the drug. "what kind of business were you attending to?" the blonde asks, certain she'll get some sort of vague answer. brie can't help the curiosity -- the arsine family, specifically colette, was strange in her business ventures. never a particular endgame, just whatever would deepen her pockets. at least, that's what it looked like from brie's vantage point. it was chaotic, the complete opposite of what she saw within her family's business.
brie admired the unwavering confidence colette held with such ease -- for her, it had been a life long battle for perfection, to remain pristine and untouchable. she'd starved her body for years, made sure to keep a diligent eye on trends, never let a piece of her fall out of place. her confidence was there and over the top in many cases, but dwarfed in comparison to the brunette in front of her. it pulled a jealousy from her, wishing she could exude the same effortlessness, not care what anyone had to say about her or her life.
a small sigh passes her lips, shaking her head as colette insisted she and elliott would end up in the same mess they spent five years in. how easy had it been for them to yell at each other before he got down on his knees and pushed her skirt up? how many times had they done just the same before? "he showed up at my office." brie finds herself admit to colette, knowing it's only a matter of time before something gets out of to gossip girl. or elliott himself makes it known. "we fought, he ate me out on my desk." she waves a hand to dismiss the story, taking a large pull from her new martini. "just because he still has an exceptional tongue doesn't mean my 'heart is going to give in'." she points out, putting air quotes around colette's previous words. "i hate him." brie declares, knowing she doesn't mean it -- but she isn't about to get into the nuance of her emotions toward her ex-fiance with colette.
"he's not my type." brie rolls her eyes, though it's a true statement -- gabe isn't her typical fit. she stuck to the east coast kennedy-esque men, ones who she'd spend a weekend with on their yacht before meeting their parents at their south hampton home. gabe was the antithesis of everything she'd been raised to believe was her perfect partner -- and yet, she couldn't get him off her mind. everything seemed to come back to him, not matter how hard she tried to avoid him and tell herself he meant nothing. "nothing happened." she continues, not pushing the subject with more detail or insistence -- too much detail kills any lie. she's happy to change the subject to colette's love life instead.
"neither are worth the trouble." brie points out with a shrug, taking another sip of her drink. "a vibrator is just as effective." a small laugh passes her lips, agreeing with colette's sentiment. she couldn't see the other woman ever really settling down like brie nearly had -- marriage, family, all of the typical social conventions expected out of them. somehow brie had a feeling colette would remain the eternal mystery, never committed to one thing or person, always returning from an extravagant trip with an exciting story to tell. at the mention of what the brunette had missed, brie scoffs. "you can thank gossip girl for the shit show."
The truth of the matter was all of her bravado had been faked... early on. When she was still trapped in a shell that felt nothing like herself she still had the attitude but none of the follow-through. She spent so long in a place where she didn't feel like herself that when she finally got to be herself she never looked back. A live of privilege or not, Colette struggled and paid her dues on a personal level to get to the level of self-assurance she had.
While Colette didn't often talk about business, the vagaries of what she did (or her family overall) were notorious. They had more money than God, and yet their holdings never seemed to be very clear with hands in aeronautics, real estate, fashion, finance, and any other manner of things that could get them ahead they seemed like just the worst kind of people to be in bed with. But, to her credit, Colette was GOOD at what she did. She didn't 'work hard' as some people would think; she was rich for the sake of being rich and didn't need to make more money but she liked the art of making deals happen, of cultivating relationships in the business world in a savvy manner.
"Making money." is generally her response, and she offered it to Brie with a crooked smirk, nose scrunching just a bit with the cheek of it all. She closes her eyes after a moment and offers, "Purchasing."
That was already more details than she'd given any time before. May she was growing to like Brie more by the day, or maybe she just wanted to dissuade too many follow-up questions by offering just enough to seem like she was sharing. Who knows?
As Brie confesses her 'sin', which Colette does not necessarily think IS one, but it doesn't negate the danger of allowing someone in like that, Colette lets out a tiny snort, "Honestly, babe? Get yours while you can. You are not married, you are not anyone's property, I know you have designs on the whole perfect life settled down and spitting out kids but... that time isn't here yet. So your ex-fiance ate you for lunch at your desk, it doesn't matter, it's sex. Just uh... don't let your heart get involved or it's going to go straight to fucking hell."
That was what always complicated things for this group of people. They let feelings cloud their judgment in the stupidest of ways. Would Colette show up any time Nova called without a care to what she was doing, even if they were fighting? Yes. She might delay a few minutes, but she'd be there. She wasn't immune to the idea of letting your feelings get in the way of your more sound judgment, but usually those were hedonistic feelings rather than emotional ones.
"Bitch, I don't think he's anyone's type and yet everyone's tumbling down the rungs of his ladder like they'll get points each time they hit it." Colette swerved on her seat, then, swinging a slim leg over the other to sit, perched precariously (and probably a bit drunk, who knows) on the stool with an ease and stability she really shouldn't have, "So there's something about him that makes you all go fucking crazy and you can deny it but like...? Proof's in the fucking pudding, or whatever."
Colette drained her drink and set it to the side, as if the bartender should know to be prepared with another. Her cigarette had been mostly forgotten for a period there, but was now brought to her lips to pull from, speaking through the action, "Gossip Girl is a cunt, but she's an entertaining cunt."
No one knew who Gossip Girl was. How on earth they'd ever gotten through all this without finding out who she was was anyone's guess. They'd all barely survived school age with themselves in tact, and here she was again, trying to destroy them. Or he? Or They? Might be a cunt, but Colette still respects pronouns and gender identities.
At her friends words, Nova dropped her head and sighed. She had a point. "I'm not built like you Lette. I don't know how not to care for other." Looking up once more, she began to fiddle with the braids dangling from her head. "And I know that you care, because you care about me, but how do you turn it off. Make it selective?" It was a genuine question, because while Nova didn't actively show it, she cared a lot - about so many things. "Plus this is Daisy we're talking about. Practically a second little sister to me."
Finishing off her tea, Nova turned to the sink and began to rinse out her cup, along with the kettle now that it had cooled down. Within moments, Nova was finished and the turned back to her friend, nodding her head towards the living area as she began to head that way. Plopping down on the couch, she slid her shoes off and curled up against the soft cushions. "You're extremely confident my darlin'. I am over here shitting bricks."
Dropping her head to the back of the couch, she closed her eyes before it hit her and she lifted her head. "Do I know your secret?" Her eyebrow arched as she gazed at her friend.
Colette, for all her faults, did care — not about everyone, not by a long shot, but there were people who mattered — but right now that group mostly contained only Nova. She had a cursory attachment to the friends around her, but she wasn't looking to fill her heart with transitory people who were about as loyal as she was (well, in general, she's very loyal to Nova.)
So, upsetting Nova was not what she had intended. However, instead of immediately apologizing, she just got internally angry at herself and said all the awful things she usually reserves for others in her head to chastize herself. All while offering, "Your care should be selective, Nove. That's just how it should work. There should be no such thing as unconditional love, it should always be conditional and you should let go of it if it stops serving your fucking purpose otherwise you're just going to get torn to shreds."
As she's asked how she does it, she lifts her shoulders in a shrug, "Value yourself more, babe. That's really the best advice I can offer. No one is worth you being miserable, I don't care how cute their smile is or how often they bring you scones. You make them show you you matter or you leave."
Colette could very well be telling her best friend to leave HER at this point, but she'd shown Nova she loved her in her own way. More than once and often at the expense of her general aura of disillusionment. Nova mattered to Colette.
Not easily unnerved, Colette still balked at the mention of her secrets, but sank into the couch across from Nova with her feet tugged up beneath her, heels still on because she didn't have the patience to unstrap them, and exhaled. She didn't honestly know what Gossip Girl might have on her, but she was almost positive that Nova knew everything.
"I don't know. Maybe? It's not like I have a list of my secrets and schemes floating around in my head. I don't feel guilt over things that are said and done. I did them, I move forward. But I would assume you know since you know more about me than even my own family?" Nova didn't, in fact, know all her secrets, but part of that was because Colette didn't know if some of them warranted mention.
Tell me now, how do I feel
closed; for @colettearsine
when; a week after the kiss on the lips party
the air was thick with smoke, the music loud and aggressive, and gabe was high out of his mind. everything seemed to be a mess of blurry neon lights and successive drinks burning the back of his throat. it was fine, he was fine. perhaps someone external to his life and his inner sanctum would stupidly say that gabe was not handling being thrown back into the elite society well. and perhaps this someone would be right, but gabe would gladly fight them on this because there was no chance the admission would ever leave his lips.
gabe was fucking fine. if his eyes made sure not to watch his own refection in the mirror while buttoning his pants, in that dingy bathroom, that was his decision. no external factors coming into play with how he was feeling right now.
the guy that just left the bathroom told him. he was fine. he was good. the rest…the rest was confetti and gabe refused to give it an ounce of thought. nothing about brie, about nova, his sister. nothing about lanky tall fuckers who deserved nothing more than what came to them. these people were not important anymore, and gabe would not let their memory impede on his way to have fun and be as equally messy as he was wont to do.
he dared one look at the other gabe in the mirror, noticed the wild hair, the half open shirt and red cheeks. hollowed eyes, blackened by the substances running in his system. well, gabe might look a bit messy with his dirty knees and wild appearance, but he looked damn good. satisfied finally with his own reflection, the man moved out of the bathroom, made his way to the bar while simultaneously looking for his friends, usually hanging in one booth or another. they seemed absent for the most part, maybe they abandoned him
(as usual)
but that did not mean he wasn’t his own man and in control of his own life. leaning against the counter, matching the energy of the man in front of him (the man looked way less disheveled than gabe, and that made him a bit mad, made him want to take him back to the bathroom and wipe that smug smile off his face) and offered him a smirk. gabe downed a shot and waited for his drink. it was in this small moment, ledged between the sensation of vodka burning while going down and the realization that he was utterly alone that he noticed her.
oh, what a mysterious one, this colette. their worlds so different yet as equally chaotic, it seemed. always on the outskirts of each other's lives, both had never made enough effort to get to know the other. gabe had always nodded when nova had mentioned colette, well aware of her reputation and absolutely not wanting to dip his feet in that particular story. but now, now half of gabe's brain was gone, abandoned to the night and its pleasure, and gabe offered colette a drink, raising his own glass when it appeared in front of her.
Colette was nothing if not adventurous — granted, most people would throw a lot of other different descriptors there before they chose adventurous, but it still stands that she is.
It meant that being lost in a crowd was never really her bag. It meant that she never felt pigeonholed by society's expectations of her. It meant that while some of her echelon wouldn't be caught dead in a dingy club with more weed smoke in the air than oxygen she would delve right into that place and own it in moments (figuratively, though she probably could do it literally).
The amount of people bumping up against her as she minded her own business — as much as Colette ever did, mind you, her nose was always in someone's goddamn business — and grinded as if they were desperate to get off on at least something before they crawled home to their shitty little studio apartments with more rats than space and that always somehow smelled of clove cigarettes and regret.
One in particular found his hands on her hips and was pulling her in, thinking that of course the waif who was decidedly blitzed on cocaine would be an easy mark, not ever realizing that she was old-hat at cocaine and could function better than most people sober even when she was out of her mind.
She caught sight of Gabe and his offer of a drink, her eyes rolling almost on instinct at the mere sight of him. How the fuck did he keep ending up in their lives like this...? How had he managed to snare at least two different women in her life with... whatever he was. Tortured artist? Not enough actual time spent suffering for all of that, just a meager lean towards the dramatic. Rock star? Right, rock stars of this day and age often get high in run-down clubs and seek out a target, as if bored. Sweet and wholesome? She fucking doubts it, the boy has snake in his veins and as much as she likes that in theory, she doesn't like snakes in her particular woods.
She was the snake in her woods.
Her knee found purchase on Prince Charming's balls as if it was nothing at all to do, extending her arm back over her shoulder with her middle finger held aloft and she made a beeline for Gabe. Time to find out what all the fucking fuss was about, wasn't it?
"So tell me, does your cock dispense pure heroin or something because I do NOT get it, Gabríel, our modern day Charles Baudelaire, le prince poète." Colette said without missing a beat, his name spoken as it would be in her native tongue, and she neither cared nor would she change the way she pronounced it. Fuck that guy if he wanted her to.
Cupping her hands around the mug, Nova leaned back against the counter, closing her eyes as she savored the tea. It was only for a moment before she was looking at her friend once more, eyes slightly wide at the question. "Do I seem wound up?" she asked honestly. Maybe she was. There seemed to be so much going on all at once. You'd think she'd be used to it after all these years but it still made her jittery.
Sighing out, her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. "Did I mention that Daisy is back? I saw her at the party too..." she trailed off, growing extremely quiet as her mind traveled to her sister. She sat in it for a moment before she picked up her eyes, looking into Colette's. "I hadn't realized how much seeing her would affect me." It was an admission that she didn't even realize was necessary until it was out her mouth. "We had a moment together. It was nice - good to see that she's gotten herself together. She's seems to be doing really well." She was kind of rambling but it was also something that had been on her mind. Just word vomit.
Sitting the cup down, she shifted on her feet, reaching over to pluck the cigarette from Colette's lips. Taking an inhale before she asked, "You don't have anything that you don't want to get out?"
At the mention of Daisy there was a surge of interest on Colette's face, but she knew well enough to bury it behind a sudden smirk and cock of her brow. She'd helped mold the mess that had been Daisy and though, maybe on some level, she was glad that the woman was getting her life in order the allure of bringing her back down another level felt far too good to pass up... but she couldn't tell Nova that, so instead...
"This is what caring about people does for you. You 'ave literally been bombarded by emotions non-stop since that part because all of them showed up like herpes during stress." Colette said, French accent heavy in her sudden disapproval. Feelings were a mess, y'all, and Colette didn't much approve. The ones she did have were reserved for those whom she felt had earned them; for now that mostly seemed to be Nova, hence the dancing around how she might have ruined Daisy in general thing.
Colette had demolished half the offered macarons and now made a face, slipping the box closed carefully and tucking them back onto the counter. Nova knew she could have whatever she wanted in Colette's place, especially if they were in one of their good phases, so she didn't bother offering her any of the gift she'd brought, but...
"I mean I cannot deny that there might be skeletons in mine close, non? But... I suppose I just do not see the point in getting worked up about it. I feel as if I will be fully capable of handling and squashing anything that comes my way," she won't be able to do that, but that's what being a cocky little shit gets you, "I have too much experience, mon petit bébé."
A deep sigh came up from the bottom of her lungs as she allowed Colette to say her piece on the ideals of settling down, marriage, and the like. She knew her friend was the opposite of herself in that manner. Colette didn't need anyone. She was a lone wolf and it suited herself. While her friend did make wonderful points on the patriarchy and feminism, Nova still wanted to at some point settle down despite the negative connotation around it. Taking another deep inhale of the cigarette, she released slowly and coughed out, "I hear alladat, but, you know I feel like it doesn't have to be all that. We can start a precedent for something new. For equality and re-writing the standard." As the words left her mouth, she couldn't help but to laugh. It was bullshit. They both knew.
Eyes rolling, she tapped the cigarette against the sink, letting the ashes fall into it. "You're right... saying it does make it real but you know what... it's damn sure the truth. I guess in a way I'm better because of how I grew up, so I do have a different set of fundamentals and I guess moral compass but fuck, at the same time, I hang onto this rope very tightly because how the hell else am I supposed to survive?"
As her friend took the cig back, she began flittering around once more, wiping the crumbs from the counter and sprinkling them into the trash. Snorting, she looked at her and said, "either gotta make it or marry money, which in this world wouldn't be a stretch," she smirked.
"Anywho," she walked back over, picking up her tea to take a sip. "How was your trip?"
There was a nervous energy in Nova in that moment that Colette recognized. Sometimes she wondered if she should feel worse for her positions on things and the fact that she refused to bend on any of them... but Colette wasn't one for miring in regret or wonder. She preferred to keep herself in check and as free as she could and everyone else around her should be good enough to do the same.
Still, the frenetic movements of Nova as she continued to tidy up in a place that hadn't been used since the last time it was cleaned by anyone more than her just now made her tip her head to the side; the cigarette was loose in her mouth and her words came a bit more murmured because of them, "My trip was fine, bebe, but are you going to tell me why you're this wound up? It can't just be the Gossip Girl thing or the Kiss on the Lips drama, can it? We've been fucking inundated in that shit since we were kids and I just..."
Colette was done with the drama in the sense that it didn't bother her anymore. Her feeling untouchable meant that even in the things that should matter — her best friend's life being twisted around, for instance — she found it hard to connect the dots. She wasn't, by any means, a sociopath, but she definitely was not exactly right in her actions or in her head.
"I mean if you don't want to tell me that's fine too but my next offer will be cocaine to help you relax and forcing you to tell me about your newest dream movie or whatever in the fuck is going on in that realm." It sounded like she was just pushing her off, and truly to anyone outside; that's exactly how it would seem. Nova knew better enough to know that Colette would listen, offer her opinions, and support her... in however snide a way as she might.
