° Have A Tea Break ;) °

Side Blog for Renn’s alleged ‘mishaps’ and fiscal habits [totally not tax evasion] (Breaking wizarding law speedrun.) * Taking asks for tea reports and gossip about the school for The Tea weekly * Ministry if you read this, no you didn’t. asks open.

[theteaweekly]

Hello,

This is Renn speaking.

before anyone asks — no, i have not committed any crimes. everything you’ve heard is either:

• exaggerated

• taken out of context

• magically misremembered

• legally unverifiable

• or just creative accounting.

this is an ask/rp blog. you may send questions, concerns, Hogwarts gossip (for the weekly newsletter, “The tea weekly”, or baseless accusations (the last one will be ignored with extreme prejudice).

if the ministry is reading this, do note: all of my “violations” are technically ethical, morally defensible, and possibly invisible to your quills.

if you are not the ministry — hi. feel free to stay. maybe ask for financial tips. just don’t snitch.

— R. Tsuyuki (master of loopholes, tax-compliant-ish, 100% innocent)

[syrooo]

Renn yapping (yes she changes guys every 2 days shut up, like LOOK at her 🤨🤨🤺🤺)

can we talk about how renn is actually HORRIBLE at relationships 😭 she’s the undisputed champion of “he likes me… anyway time to go study ancient runes in a cave for six months.” Or the CEO of “if i ignore the problem long enough maybe it’ll evaporate.” emotional vulnerability? never heard of her. my catastrophically avoidant queen. did i ever mention that renn is the final boss of avoidant attachment 😭 she ghosts men more than seojun says “pspsps” to random cats. renn’s toxic trait is that she loves the chase more than the relationship 😭 renn is genuinely addicted to the thrill of making someone like her 😭 the second they confess she’s internally like “oh… ew, now what?” and starts scouting her next emotional casualty. she doesn’t want a boyfriend, she wants the validation that she COULD have one. my playgirl is the final boss of “i liked you until you liked me back.” she’ll spend weeks flirting, teasing and making a poor man fold, then the SECOND he goes “i think i like you” she’s already mentally drafting her escape plan. my girl treats romance like side quests—once she completes the objective she immediately goes looking for the next one 🤦🏻‍♀️ my playgirl is allergic to emotional commitment.

[syrooo]

No but she treats her girls wayyyy better tho

[theteaweekly]

Propaganda in my name being spread out here

Im a lover girl at my core

(Im definitely not lying)

[syrooo]

Anatomy Study w my favourite (ethical) tax evader <3

No but this is what you see every morning in the slytherin girl’s dormitory when you wake up

No but imagine waking up in the Slytherin girls' dormitory and seeing this.

Renn has somehow been awake for three hours.

She's sitting on somebody else's bed.

She's smoking.

She's being reprimanded by Seojun through text.

And judging by the fact that this conversation has definitely happened before, I don't think either of them expects a different outcome.

At this point it's less of a warning and more of a daily ritual.

(While probably dumping someone through a text at the same time btw, oh Renn you play girl)

She’s so cunty guys i love my baddie RAHHHHHHH

[theteaweekly]

Served cunt.

Might delete later.

[theteaweekly]

So I just looked up the meaning of my name and apparently:

Renn — lotus / water lily / romantic love / adoration

Sui — sweet

Tsuyuki — harbouring happiness / port of happiness

I am calling bullshit.

First of all, ROMANTIC LOVE???

Have you people MET me???

The last few situationships I've had ended over TEXT.

Not because THEY broke up with me.

Because I broke up with THEM.

Over text.

I am the PRESIDENT of Dump & Run Industries.

The CEO of Avoidance Issues.

The Grandmaster of "this conversation could've been a face-to-face discussion but unfortunately I have chronic abandonment issues."

Why am I named after romance???

I should've been named after commitment issues.

And SWEET???

Please. I threatened AND punched someone over a Quidditch match last week.

And "harbouring happiness" is CRAZY because I spend at least 40% of my day actively irritated.

Who named me? Was there another child? Did you mix up the paperwork? Because there is no universe where "romantic, sweet, happy flower" was meant for ME.

The audacity.