I am not the reason no one trusts you - know one knows what you believe. I will most equivocate on my opinion; I have always worn it on my sleeve. Even if I said but you think I said, you would need to site a more specific grievance: here’s an itemised list of 30 years of disagreements-
1774:
called you a ‘little bitch’ in my valedictorian speech
1775:
forgot your middle name
stole your quill to finish an essay
1776:
ignored six of your increasingly-desperate-sounding letters in a row
1777:
let Tubbs go hungry on that one game you have
1778:
forgot to return those pants you let me borrow
refused to stop taking care of you when you got heatstroke in Monmouth
1779:
wrote you six increasingly-desperate-sounding letters in a row after you left the battalion
1780:
you joked that charles lee could be president and I took it seriously (and maybe a little bit personally and I might have punched you in the jaw but it’s a bit of a blurr)
1782:
left your wedding early because I was jealous
1783:
got lost in the woods and missed Theodosia’s christening
1784:
left toast crumbs all over your office chair
used your toaster at 4 AM
1785:
forged your signature under a note titled ‘confirmation that Aaron Burr sucks signed by Aaron Burr’
1786:
pretended I lost your pen when I actually hid it because I was mad at you; can’t remember why
1787:
you had to drag me home from where I fell asleep at my desk a total of 76 times that year, outdoing every previous record
1788:
put the butter knife in the jam jar
1789:
told you that your title ‘senate attorney general’ sounded like ‘smelly tory genitals’ which you found insulting for some reason
1790:
licked your hand because I thought it was my sandwich but in all fairness it was like 5 AM, cut me some slack
1791:
accused you of stealing my father-in-law’s senate seat
put a whoopee cushion on your senate seat for payback
1792:
ate the last slice of pizza at the senate-sleepover
corrupted theo by introducing her to philip
1793:
spat on your shoes by accident during a speech
1794:
cried and yelled down the phone when you told me about theodosia’s passing
didn’t show up to the funeral because I lost track of time
you yelled back down the phone
1795:
compared you to john adams
1796:
tried to comfort you when you came fourth in the election by saying ‘it could be worse, you could have placed below Jefferson’ before realising that you did, in fact, place below Jefferson
1797:
laughed a bit too loud when my father-in-law got his senate seat back from you
1798:
you were elected to the New York State Assembly which was a stupid thing for New Yorkers to do honestly and I’ll still fight you on that one
1799:
it was definitely you who took the sandwiches out of my lunch box that one time, I KNOW it was you and anyway Madison wasn’t even there
1800:
see 1796
promoted Jefferson over you during the election
you published “The Public Conduct and Character of John Adams, Esq., President of the United States” publicly and it was super embarrassing for me like… why you gotta put a dude down like that man
called you ‘immoral’ and ‘a dangerous disgrace’ because you are
1801:
cried on your doorstep and subsequently in your arms for three days-ish
made an entire newspaper to trash-talk you and Jefferson
1802:
indirected you on seven different social media platforms
complained about your outfit
trash-talked you in my newspaper
1803:
trash-talked you in my newspaper
ate your lunch on purpose
1804:
trash-talked you in my newspaper