So as a rule, I try not to give anyone unsolicited advice unless they ask for it. Iâll go into this more later. I guess I have been officially solicited in this situation, to impart whatever wisdom I might have and tell you the things that helped me in my life so far. Please bear in mind that I, in no way, feel qualified to tell you what to do. Youâve worked and struggled and sacrificed and studied and dreamed your way here today and so, you know what youâre doing. Youâll do things differently than I did them and for different reasons.
So I wonât tell you what to do because no one likes that.
I will, however, give you some life hacks I wish I knew when I was starting out my dreams of a career, and navigating life, love, pressure, choices, shame, hope and friendship.
The first of which is⊠life can be heavy, especially if you try to carry it all at once. Part of growing up and moving into new chapters of your life is about catch and release. What I mean by that is, knowing what things to keep, and what things to release. You canât carry all things, all grudges, all updates on your ex, all enviable promotions your school bully got at the hedge fund his uncle started. Decide what is yours to hold and let the rest go. Oftentimes the good things in your life are lighter anyway, so thereâs more room for them. One toxic relationship can outweigh so many wonderful, simple joys. You get to pick what your life has time and room for. Be discerning.
Secondly, learn to live alongside cringe. No matter how hard you try to avoid being cringe, you will look back on your life and cringe retrospectively. Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime. Even the term âcringeâ might someday be deemed âcringeâ.
I promise you, youâre probably doing or wearing something right now that you will look back on later and find revolting and hilarious. You canât avoid it, so donât try to. For example, I had a phase where, for the entirety of 2012, I dressed like a 1950s housewife. But you know what? I was having fun. Trends and phases are fun. Looking back and laughing is fun.
And while weâre talking about things that make us squirm but really shouldnât, Iâd like to say that Iâm a big advocate for not hiding your enthusiasm for things. It seems to me that there is a false stigma around eagerness in our culture of âunbothered ambivalenceâ. This outlook perpetuates the idea that itâs not cool to âwant itâ. That people who donât try hard are fundamentally more chic than people who do. And I wouldnât know because I have been a lot of things but Iâve never been an expert on âchicâ.
But Iâm the one whoâs up here so you have to listen to me when I say this: Never be ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth. The people who wanted it the least were the ones I wanted to date and be friends with in high school. The people who want it most are the people I now hire to work for my company.
Taylor Swift in her commencement address for NYUâs graduating Class of 2022 (May 18, 2022)
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