Mr. Coffee

Cliff, 35/F/US

[thedemon]

you’re the one always freaking out about tumblr and making up drama

Did you click on a toilet to say this?

[drops-of-universe]

doing a line of hope

[thedemon]

Anything safe on your body is safe in your body. Many, many exceptions.

[thedemon]

I proved it so many times.

[thedemon]

Squirting is real. Part of it's pee. Sometimes it's just pee and that's okay, but squirting is real. Squirting exists outside of peeing and it's a fucking fact. More than pee. Trust me.

[thedemon]

*slaps my own ass* Get me a Diet Coke, bitch.

[seelenunheil]

how it got me feeling being on the floor restrained and helpless

[thedemon]

My masochistic wife is playing Silksong again.

[yremystar]

Steve-O and Johnny’s house on MTV Cribs (2002)

[taujr-resort]

[saumars]

Little Rawr!!!

@DeadMudila

[cuneiformkey]

The Licked Tomb

[yourknightshand]

Jayce doesn’t know how, but he’s determined to make it happen.

[thedemon]

Facefuck Friday.

[deheerkonijn]

The aforementioned Jayvik Valentine's date tipsy hand stuff.

(They are about to be kicked out of the establishment) #jayvik

[thedemon]

I'm a dog.

[helicalsymmetry]

we had an apartment inspection today and i was a little worried because i've replaced the normal lightswitch in the bedroom with a mad scientist's big electrical switch but thankfully the guy doing the inspection was into it

[helicalsymmetry]

i have never told a joke and i am being fully serious at all times.