comparison has always been the thief of joy, i think that’s an old saying. so the answer is not to do it, i mean you’re supposed to be happy for others, but it’s natural to be competitive as well, so comparison just doesn’t serve you.
i remember having this conversation with my older sister a while back, where she was telling me; “oh you know emil is so happy now, he just has this amazing house by the sea, oh and his wife is such a beautiful woman, they’re planning a family you know, they’re very excited about it.” and instinctively i was like, “yeah, as far as we know, but what goes on behind closed doors is a mystery, i mean these two could have a miserable life together.” and my sister looked into the middle distance and said wistfully, “i hope so.” and i hoped so as well, and i really like emil, i don’t want him to be miserable, but it’s just when you’re unhappy, you feel so isolated, you don’t want to be the only one, you want company.
and of course social media now tells you everyone is positively ecstatic all the time, at least with the old round-robin christmas letters people used to send, you knew these people where only giving you the highlights of their year, and they’re probably going to leave out their crack habit, and struggle with rheumatism. but with social media it seems like people’s entire lives are online, because it’s on going, and this curated reality is illustrated so well, with all the photographs; you do think everyone has got a better life than i have, and in fact i really believed it when i first joined facebook. it has been around a few years now, and we’re seeing articles online saying this, and everybody says it, so we already know about this. and you know, the people who have the best time probably don’t post that much online.
so comparison is the thief of joy, but more so when you compare your life to other people’s fictions. it’s exactly like the airbrushed models, who women think they have to look like, but really they’ve edited out the reality, and you’re comparing yourself to something that doesn’t exist. that’s totally pointless.
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