The Unknown Future

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

Going to see him in 6 days

It’s been only 3 weeks since I last seen him and it has felt like a life time. I miss the little things. Holding his hand when we are out and about. Giving him random kisses, making him smile and laugh. Knowing that I’m going to be seeing him soon is just making life worth while now. 

For the past couple of days I have been stressed for many reasons. Because of that I haven’t been the most supporting girlfriend making it hard for him to be happy. We figured things out tonight and we got through it. It’s important you tell your other half the problems going on in your brain. They can be supporting and care for you when you need it most.

Be open and comfortable with your partner because if you don’t have those two things then there will be no trust, 

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

Introducing LDR to your parents

From today, we’ve been together two months. As I said in my last post I don’t make a big deal out these little anniversaries, I just acknowledge them.

I met his dad and step mom over skype lots of times over these two months. He was very open to his parents about me from the very start. Of course, for an older generation to accept this long distance relationship is very open minded of them. I’m not saying that the older generation aren’t open to long distance relationships. No way. Long distance relationships aren’t a new thing. What I mean is that, they were very open to how we met. (which, of course, is online) I know it can be hard for people to understand the internet when they weren’t raise when it was around. So for them to understand that a connection can be made over two people who have never met in person and talk on the internet everyday, sounds a little odd. I was never worried about his parents not approving about what we have. (Even though it would not matter as we are both over 18)

I’m worried about my dad and his... wife (They just got recently married and it weird calling her step mom). My dad can be accepting in some ways and then other things his just doesn’t approve. Now, he can’t stop me in any way but I don’t want to become distant with my dad over this. I know he would only be doing this because he cares. So I’m not going to get mad at him if he does have a different perspective on this. 

Anyway now that we have been together a decent amount of time. My other half suggested that he would like to meet my dad. It only makes sense as his family knows a lot about me and it would only be fair. The truth is, I don’t know how to go about it. Should I just act casually and try not make a big deal about it? Should I tell him about this person I’m close to before I introduce them? 

I don’t know what to really do. This is always going to be the hardest part of a new relationship, especially this type of relationship. 

I could be thinking way to hard about this. I might be overthinking, like I always do, way too often.

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

Is it Really Two Months Already?

In three days time it will be our two month anniversary I know it isn’t a big deal but I feel when you’re in a long distance relationship, any period of time is a overcoming a hurdle. If you think about it two months is a long time for people to be on skype with each other every day. Text each other at least every hour during the day. It’s a long time for two people to care for each other and not lose interest. 

I don’t make month anniversaries a big thing, but I do acknowledge them. It’s important to give yourself credit for what you put so much effort into. When I’m in relationship, it doesn’t matter what type, I always think that time is moving really fast but really slow at the same time. I know to some people this probably won’t make sense but I hope to some other people (whoever is reading this, thank you for reading) I hope you feel the same way. Like it seems not that long ago I skyped him the first night and I remember how I felt towards him at the time. But then in another sense, I feel like we’ve been through so much that it feels way longer than it actually has. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Where I am in life at this moment, I feel pretty content. There isn’t anything major that is bringing me down and I’m happy where my love life is going. I know this is the early stages but I just want to stay positive. There’s too much negativity in the world.

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

The second day we are together. 

Wanting that  moment to never end. 

[spuds-and-roo]

I want to be your everything💕❤

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

The Most Perfect Weekend

I was waiting in the airport. My nerves were shock to hell and I think I was sweating so much that it was getting uncomfortable. I was going to see him in 20 minutes. The time was counting down slowly and I was freaking out more by the second.

I waited and kept checking that I was at the right terminal. As the time kept counting down, 20 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes.,..

When his plane arrived, my heart skipped a beat every time I saw a black head of hair. 

Another 5 minutes passed

10 minutes passed

I was starting to think that this was too good to be true. He wasn’t real. I know it was a stupid thought but I couldn’t help myself from thinking that. I starting thinking really negatively. My heart sinking with every second that passed.

I kept looking around, thinking that maybe I missed him coming out of the arrivals and that he was waiting for me. I walked to the other side of the exit of the terminal. No sign of him. I went back around once more, clinging to every bit of hope I had left.

I turned to my right, there he was. I froze and saw his black hair. I couldn’t see his face as he was looking down at his phone probably wondering where I was. I looked up and down and recognized the skinny jeans and the black and grey checkered vans. I didn’t care if I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t him anymore. It felt like I was staring at him for a solid 10 minutes when really it was only maybe 2 seconds. I couldn’t hold my body back anymore. I launched from where I was from and ran into him, giving the biggest hug I had ever given. We held each other for maybe a minute. We pulled away and after that I can’t remember what happened. I think we looked at each other to see if the other person is actually real.

[alexabnorm4l]

Long distance relationships

They are difficult. By far the most difficult kind of relationship. Sitting there waiting for a reply, waiting for a call, waiting for a picture. That’s all you have. The amount of willpower you need is substantial. It’s so difficult because you never know what happens until they tell you. You sit and worry when they’re gone for hours. Sometimes you don’t get a Goodnight or good morning text because of how incredibly busy they are. On very rare occasions they go days without talking. It is the worst feeling being without you best friend for days. All you can do is sit there and only wonder what’s happened. Sometimes you cry. In the end though you have to try to be strong. You have to know you’ll make it through this. That it’ll finally be worth it in the end. Holding them and never letting go no matter what. You have to keep believing that the dream will come true. You have to be as strong as you can. Cry if you have to but always know that they will still love you. You also have to let them know that you’ll always be there to love them. In the end that’s all that really matters.

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

The Day Before

Less than a day left and I’m freaking out a little. I will be going on a bus tomorrow that will bring me to the airport. I have to wait an hour before his flight arrives. I’ll be so nervous in that hour. I’m getting butterflies just thinking about how nervous I will be. 

I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach though. I know that the second I get to meet him and hug him in person, time will fly. The whole weekend will be over. I’m trying not to think about it but it’s hard. Losing the person that is my other half, after spending a whole weekend with them is going to be so tough. I just keep thinking that I have to be greatful for having him for the weekend. That things worked out so well because the original plan was to see him in August. When we both had more money. I can’t complain. I’m not allowed to. 

Just thinking about being with him tomorrow night is just a surreal feeling. In a way I don’t think it has hit me yet. I feel like it will only hit me when I’m standing there and my palms begin to sweat and my hands begin to shake. 

From this moment I have:

22 hours 14 minutes and 23 seconds 

to wait...

[i-love-you-from-a-distance]

Most relationships tend to fail,

however it’s not because of the absence of love, because love is always present. It’s just that one person was loving too much and the other wasn’t loving enough. So, if you love someone, tell them and show them.

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

How Do You Know He’s Perfect?

I’ve had past relationships. Yes, they all had their perks but also downfalls. Of course, the downfalls wouldn’t be as big as the perks because then why I wouldn’t  have been with them. The downfalls I’m talking about are the little things in life that make you upset or make life a little more difficult for you in the relationship. For example, you might choose not to drink alcohol, whether that was because of your past, you have no interest or both. Your significant other on the other hand might drink like gold fish. Unless this downfall becomes a serious issue as in your safety becomes threatened, you’re not going to leave them for it. Which is understandable. There’s other things that might be negative but they would be so small that it wouldn’t affect your relationship that bad.

This is where I was stuck. How did I know that they’re would be another person out there that was more suitable for me? I didn’t and I just realised that there is people out there that will more compatible to me. You can’t be afraid to find them. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you fully happy all the time because remember, if you’re looking for a long term relationship, that person is going to have to make you smile when you’re down. support you on your bad days and show you off on your best days. You deserve someone who will make you the happiest you can be. even if you’re on the lowest points in your life. Don’t be ashamed of finding that person. Also that means don’t go around breaking people hearts trying to find the right one. They trust you with their feelings in your hands, you have to respect that. 

I think I’ve found the right one. How do I know? Because the more I find out about him, the happier I get. He shows his devotion to me. He shows that he cares. In my opinion, there’s probably a stronger trust and emotional bond between us than half the relationships out there. 

As I said before, there’s downfall to every relationship, the downfall to my present one? The distance. That isn’t his fault and it isn’t mine. This issue will resolve itself as time goes on. 

Find your best friend, your soulmate, your other half.

[perfectfeelings]

[johnmarkgreenpoetry-deactivated]

Jealous -John Mark Green

[fuckedupmiki]

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

Has It Hit Me Yet?

We organised everything last night. All the buses and trains we’ll be taking while he is over here. It was stressful trying to organise times and try and fit everything in to one weekend. 

I don’t know how I’m feeling right now. I think I’m just worried about  a lot of things so it’s dampening my excitement. I just have a feeling that on the day when he comes here and I have to get a bus to the airport that I think I will screw up because I’m so nervous and I'll miss my bus or go to the wrong terminal. I’m always paranoid with public transport. 

Even though we’ve been skyping every night for the past two months. He has seen me at my worse physically and emotionally. I still think that he is going to be disappointed. He said he wouldn’t. I don’t hide anything behind the camera but still. Maybe I’m just getting cold feet? Is that the phrase? I don’t know and I don’t care at this point. I’m just hoping everyone feels the same when they meet their long distance partner for the first time. 

From this moment I have:

2 days 12 hours 25 minutes 50 seconds 

to wait.....

[i-love-you-from-a-distance]

Long distance relationships are the strongest relationships I know.

You have to have fully trust in each other. You can go days, even years without seeing each other in person. And it shows, there is no restrictions on love.

[theunknownfuture-blog1]

First Post

This was totally spontaneous. I just signed up to Tumblr 10 minutes ago. Why?I want to record this. Remember this experience, my feelings, the thoughts going through my head at certain moments in this relationship. 

I will be seeing him in three days. I don’t think it has hit me yet. I don’t it will hit me until I’m at the airport and I see him. I see him as a real person and not this figure on the screen of my phone. He has a certain scent that I will remember. He’ll sleep a certain way, Eat a certain way. He’s real. 

I only get four days to see him. Those four days will feel like a hour. I’ll blink and then realise that I am hugging him goodbye and watching get on the plane back where he came from. Then the wait starts again. 

Let’s not think about that though. Let’s think about the near future.

From this moment, I have :

3 days  22 hours 12 hours 20 seconds

to wait.......