Exsisting in a plane of existence

I barely know how to use Instagram and TikTok, Snapchat is a different planet. Help how do I social media

[theunluckyclover775]

So... I'm not dead!

But what I am is definitely a different person from when I first started my Ao3 journey. A LOT has happened, and I promise to make a proper, SUPER-vague author's note when the next chapter of Oh God Damian comes out. You know, like a true Ao3 curse victim.

IN THE MEANTIME- I realized I never really had an idea on how to write Damian. But then, an idea plopped upon my lap... and scowled at me.

Because I was late feeding him dinner.

Creatures, Monsters, and those obscure from Mythos:

Damian Wayne shall be based off of my cat, and the relationship Jason has with him will be based off of my relationship with my tiny, grumpy boy.

[theunluckyclover775]

Here he is, being cute and totally an innocent bystander, officer. Totally didn't try to bat at my head a second ago, no, sir.

[theunluckyclover775]

So... I'm not dead!

But what I am is definitely a different person from when I first started my Ao3 journey. A LOT has happened, and I promise to make a proper, SUPER-vague author's note when the next chapter of Oh God Damian comes out. You know, like a true Ao3 curse victim.

IN THE MEANTIME- I realized I never really had an idea on how to write Damian. But then, an idea plopped upon my lap... and scowled at me.

Because I was late feeding him dinner.

Creatures, Monsters, and those obscure from Mythos:

Damian Wayne shall be based off of my cat, and the relationship Jason has with him will be based off of my relationship with my tiny, grumpy boy.

[theunluckyclover775]

[theunluckyclover775]

Chat

There's a fanfic class at my University. It covers my required ENG 202 requirement.

I get to write fanfiction for a grade

[theunluckyclover775]

TIM DRAKE FANS RISE I GOT A QUESTION

What kind of Pop/Soda/Fizzy beverage do you think he'd order at a fast food place?

Coke

Pepsi

Dr. Pepper

Root Beer

Orange Crush/ Fanta

Mt. Dew

Other (pls comment)

Doesn't Like Soda/ Carbonation

Voting ended onSep 23, 2025

[theunluckyclover775]

Oh... Oh crap... It's Jason's birthday.

HAPPY ONE YEAR OF 'OH GOD DAMIAN'!!!

Thanks to those who've commented & kudosed the fic, I cannot believe how much traction it's gotten and how many compliments I've received. It's been a heck of a year, and I plan on telling y'all why ch. 4's been delayed so much in true AO3 author note fashion when it comes out, but holy penmanship batman, this brought my passion for writing back and it's inspired me to change my major to pursue something that can get me into movie making in the future!

Again, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!!! I hope you guys have a good day/ night/ whatever, and don't get hit by any crowbars!!

[theunluckyclover775]

Hey, Ohio, why the heck do you have Smucker's HQ here, then Amish Country right next to it?

... Asking for a friend. No other reason...

[theunluckyclover775]

Oh by the way happy Birthday to Tim Drake, the bat who I share the most in common with because we both have the following:

1. Unhinged sleep schedules

2. Caffeine addictions

3. A Missing organ & (sometimes) chronically ill

4. Friends and family who dub us chaotic rats who need to sleep and hydrate more

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[browneyedgremlingirl]

I find it more fun when Alfred has flaws, when he’s a person and not simply an archetype. Because the man has flaws and honestly I think it would be a really interesting 5+ times fic of the moment Bruce and the others each grew up and realized for the first time that Alfred was human just like the rest of them. Not like the moment he dies but more like Bruce catches him crying for the first time or Jason listens to Tim’s origin story and realizes that Bruce really did try everything to get him out of that Robin suit…but Alfred didn’t and actually encouraged it.

I want Damian to hear Alfred’s opinions on therapy and realize that the man went through war and so many other horrible things but he refused therapy just as Bruce does.

Nothing to demonize him but just to make him more human. Give him sick days, give him regrets and fears that make him stand slightly back from being a full member of the family, have one of the more normal members of the Justice league strike up conversation and realize that he was the one who raised Bruce; who helped create Batman whether he likes it or not because there’s something just a little crazy about Alfred—just like anyone has to be to choose to be a superhero. Cape or not.

[theunluckyclover775]

Amazingly worded. Although we do love him for watching over, taking care of, and loving the batfam; Alfred is a human. Dude needs to mess up in order to be one.

Also, that 5+ fic... Very tempting 👀👀👀

[octolingo-writes]

Gotham city pride parade. Harley Quinn and poison ivy hold hands and kiss. Nightwing shows up in the Discowing suit. Batman’s costume is exactly the same except the bat on his chest is rainbow. Robin’s sword has ribbons on it now and he’s caught trying to brawl with homophobic protesters. Spoiler and Orphan put Robin to the side and brawl the protesters themselves. Red Hood is there in broad daylight and his helmet is rhinestoned. Red Robin and Superboy do the upside-down Spider-Man kiss with Superboy flying upside-down. The Joker shows up and Red Hood shoots him dead immediately. Everyone cheers

[theunluckyclover775]

This is cannon now. No buts.

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[on-a-carousel]

Well, yes but Alfred drove him there, supervised his fight + helped out a little, and Tim very much was not normal. He did in fact know martial arts and threw Two Face over him. He literally just confirmed it all 4 Alfred. Like no wonder he made WAR when not-even-an-orphan, total-random-child-showing-up-on-his-doorstep, should-be-normal Tim Drake is not normal.

Like bro. That child is so not normal but he is the most normal kid Alfred has had to deal with and he can already throw hands by the time Alfred meets him. This guy doesn't know crap about children. Even though he technically has his own.

TLDR: Tim actually can fight so Alfred is proven right.

[theunluckyclover775]

Didn't know he was a BAMF from the start!

Now I'm just imagining Bruce being accidentally gaslit by his family, like "Maybe kids knowing how to fight with inhuman amounts of spite and need for bloodshed is normal?? I thought it wasn't, but then why did all my children come pre-trained??"

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[imheretoreadafic]

Reminds of a scene in a fic i was writing where Alfred starts using a bunch of fancy medical terms and the homeless kid he's treating just deadpans and says "Dude, I have NO idea what you're talking about." And Alfred pauses before sighing heavily and going "Of course you dont. Apologies, this family has completely ruined my perception of commin knowledge."

[theunluckyclover775]

Wait hold up which fic is this? I'm always down for Alfred shennanigannery

[bianca-hooks123]

Same, drop the link @imheretoreadafic , you can’t leave these crumbs behind and not lead us to the prize! (Incidentally, fantastic user name, 10/10)

[imheretoreadafic]

I never finished it 😅

[theunluckyclover775]

Darn lol. I get that 😂 Hope you finish it, tho. Good Luck!

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[the-ice-queen-623]

I firmly believe Alfred was in WW2 or one maybe both

[theunluckyclover775]

YES! He is an immortal badass. A guy who will throw hands at anyone who threatens his family, no matter the century.

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[imheretoreadafic]

Reminds of a scene in a fic i was writing where Alfred starts using a bunch of fancy medical terms and the homeless kid he's treating just deadpans and says "Dude, I have NO idea what you're talking about." And Alfred pauses before sighing heavily and going "Of course you dont. Apologies, this family has completely ruined my perception of commin knowledge."

[theunluckyclover775]

Wait hold up which fic is this? I'm always down for Alfred shennanigannery

[theunluckyclover775]

Ok ik this probably isn't real but what if Alfred thought it would be fine if he just gave Tim the suit and told him "go, be free, don't die or you're fired" bc he forgot kids don't usually fight martial arts or given Bat Training™ from a young age. Imagine:

Alfred: Go be the light in these dark times, son.

Tim: thank you. I will.

*15 minutes later*

Bruce, kicking down the door, holding Tim by the cape and dangling him like a scuffed cat: ALFRED WHAT THE HELL!

Alfred: Sir! That was mahogan-

Bruce: You can't just let him go out there! He didn't even know how to punch correctly!!!

Alfred: Whatever do you mean, he should have learned that by now.

Bruce:

Alfred:

Bruce: ... W h a t

Alfred: Young Mr. Drake should have learned by now several martial arts. I mean when you were 11, you-

Bruce, absolutely tired: Alfred.

Alfred: -And by 16 he'll be ready for aerial combat. When I enlisted, lying about my age, I took to the planes rather fast-

Bruce: ALFRED.

Alfred: Don't shout at me, Master Bruce, it's unbecoming. What is it?

Bruce, holding up Tim higher to be in Alfred's line of sight and gesturing vaguely at the small child: HE DOESN'T KNOW COMBAT. HE'S NORMAL.

Alfred: Normal? What do yo- oooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Bruce: YEAH. 'OH' IS RIGHT!!!

Alfred: ... What did I just say about shouting? It's unseemly, Master Bruce.

[theunluckyclover775]

Little man decided to become a barber today & eat the hair he chomped off. What did I do to deserve this 😂

[theunluckyclover775]

Happy Jason's death day, unfortunately I have finals and cannot finish the one shot I had for it, but safe to say it will come to light when I'm done with studying & taken finals 😂

In the meantime, have a text thread that is funny from today: