You can't save everyone, he said - his half-dead body lying in my lap, his hands strangled around mine. They were covered in blood, his blood.
He was on the edge of dying, standing at the road where hell and heaven part ways - and here I was, tears streaming down my cheeks, holding on to him as if he were the only solid thing in this world.
“You know,” he whispered in a low voice, “you know, all this time I wished to tell you that I love you. I’ve loved you since the day we met. I could never muster the courage to confess this to you, but I can’t die with a heart this heavy.”
“You are not going to die,” I said.
If only I had told him that I’ve loved him all this time… would things have been different?
“I love you,” I murmured.
But he didn’t say anything - and that’s when it struck me.
I was holding his lifeless body in my hands.
The world around me went silent. The noises of the war fell away, and the only thing that mattered was that James was dead. James died in my lap, his hands still wrapped around mine.
The tears kept flooding - tears of shock, love, guilt, regret, and sadness. I couldn’t tell which was which. Did it even matter when the person who brought me back to life lay dead in my arms?
"I knew I couldn’t save everyone.
But it was you, and only you, whom I wanted to save.
the one I failed to save."
And in the same moment, a bullet struck my chest.
I fell beside his lifeless body, greeting death like an old friend, his hands still wrapped around mine.
You can’t save everyone,” I said.
She looked so fragile… and oh… so broken. Her face turned pale, and the shimmer in her eyes dimmed with each passing second. I held her hand even tighter to let her know I was still there, still lost in her eyes.
I’ve always wondered how it feels to stand at the gate of death, and I figured it would be filled with guilt and regrets and sadness.
Once you’ve accepted death, it feels like meeting a long-lost friend-
like crossing paths with someone you feared your whole life but meeting them made you realise that there was peace amidst the chaos.
It took only seconds before I could finally feel my soul being latched out of my lifeless body.
I could still feel her hands around mine.
Since the day I saw her, I was waiting for the right time to confess, to tell her.
But the right time never came.
Instead, there were just a few seconds left to bid her a goodbye.
“You know-” I murmured, “you know… all this time I wished to tell you that I love you. I’ve loved you since the day we met. I could never muster the courage to confess this to you, but I can’t die with a heart this heavy.”
Only if I had said those words earlier.
“You’re not going to die,” she said.
And slowly, the world around me began to silence.
Slowly, the sun seemed to disappear from the sky.
Slowly, I couldn’t feel her hand anymore.
And slowly, I took my last breath with a hope that her hand was still wrapped around mine.
That’s what it feels like to be dead.
(tried writing a random scene)
romaincrisis
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