Split the Deck: (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) - It seemed silly for their teacher to set them up as friends⊠support buddies or whatever they were supposed to be. Even sillier that it actually worked.
Unhealthy Competitions - At an elite winter sports camp, the coaches are more competitive than the athletes. And for Denali, it all starts with the leaderboard.
CH 1 - Denali is a new student at a Boarding School for the Performing Arts. She canât make it 10 minutes into her first class before a girl with pink hair catches her eye. Being told to stay away from her just makes her want her more.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
Sorry, let me just change the menu for you real quick. And Iâll accept your cash as soon as I pull some out of thin air. No, no, I completely agree. I am breaking the law - me, personally - I am breaking the law.
writing is so fun until you run out of pre-planned plot and you stand at the precipice and slowly realise that you never really had a plot in the first place
I know i'm just a random person you follow online but I mean it. People (all kinds of marginalised people too!) Have survived all types of horrible times and managed to find happiness eventually. If for no one else, survive for them. And also, try to survive because the people making you despair don't want you to live. Don't give this to them. Don't give your life. The best thing you can do is cling to it with everything you've got.
Slowly getting back into it. Been thinking about posting chapters as I finish them, but Iâm scared that I wonât be able to go back and change things around if I donât like them.Â
âLetâs break it down thenâ Tamisha suggests. âWhatâs your relationship like with your mum? Do you do any special activities together? Any common interests?â
i think the gossiping and rumor mill thing is fun !!! itâs really cool to me :) the only thing i would say sticks out to me is adding commas inside the quotation marks after dialogue that leads into a description. (e.g. âyouâre not supposed to say it,â someone hushes, etc etc). but having it be from denaliâs pov (as in, saying that itâs someone from her math class or having it be the order the people came out of the room) works to add that layer of distance like sheâs overhearing something (which she is!!!)
(i was gonna leave this as a comment but for some reason it didnât work </3 hope this helps !!)
So glad it's mostly working. Thank you for the feedback about the commas, I'll add them in.
Now I have to confess that I never learned punctuation in school and I've been winging it for years. I will be a repeat offender of errors đ
Here is the beginning of the Six Weeks and Stuffed Wombats rewrite.Â
Iâm also looking for advice, do we think that the dialogue between unnamed characters works well enough? It seems a little clunky to me, but I have no idea how else to format it. HELPÂ ME đ
The room was supposed to be sound proofed, but Denali could still hear the yelling muffled through the door. For minutes on end, she waited out in the hallway of the music department, listening but unable to make out any of the words. At times there would be a gap, presumably when someone else got the chance to speak, but other than that the yelling continued.Â
It was almost as much of a relief to her as to those inside when the surrounding goes quiet, and the doorhandle finally turns. An awkward laugh slips through the lips of the first choir member to exit as they share a look with another.
âDo you think sheâs okay?â she asks under her breath.
âI donât knowâ the second answers as they continue down the hallway out of earshot.
Other choir members file out behind them, their faces reading in mixes of sadness and shock. Some others wearing frowns of confusion.
âDid you see her flinch?â a girl in Denaliâs math class says to her friend.
Her friend nods. âIt was like she thought he was going to hit her.â
âWell, it would be like what her parents doâ a third person adds in and is immediately shushed with frantic noises. âWhat? Everyone knows.â They shrink back, raising their hands in surrender.