White Hat Incorporated

Here to help you through the struggles of a world filled with villainy. You may direct your queries to any member of staff, or perhaps engage in lengthier interactions. Heroic AU by @comixgum. [Mun and muses of this sideblog are 18+ and some NSFW may occur, but will be tagged. Multiverse/ship friendly. Please feel free to send in asks or IM me to plot~ My main blog is @leeroythelusterror, so if that's following you, it's me.]

[thewhitestofhats]

Demencia points to white hat's crotch, "this seat taken?"

Tinting a little teal, White Hat squeaked slightly, startled. “Why do you ask?”

[thewhitestofhats]

*rips a hole through reality, steps through and boops the whole gang*

A variety of squeaking sounds resulted from this, and Slug huffed, not entirely comfortable with being booped. White Hat, for his part, sneezed like a kitten and chuckled, not minding it.

[thewhitestofhats]

Hey, White Hat; ever did something made Slug angry at you.. ?

White Hat paused at this query, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ah... I’d rather not say.”

[thewhitestofhats]

Any funny mischievous things the big bean has done Noe?

Noe squeaked gleefully at this question, what looked like someone’s trousers in his mouth, partially chewed.

[thewhitestofhats]

"FILL ME TILL YOURE AT YOUR HILT WHITE HAT" wink wonk -Clem, who somehow has a half empty bottle of shimmer liquor stuck in her hair

A flustered squeak escaped the horror at this request, teal dusting his features, but it was immediately obvious to him that complying would be a bad idea. “You’re drunk, Clem... Would cuddles be a good compromise for now? Ah, and may I have some of that?”

[thewhitestofhats]

Yo 606 why u shaped like a bean bag

[I’m a big soft bear, what d’you expect, carrot shape?]

[thewhitestofhats]

How much to hug the bear?

Sixy paused to consider this, before scrawling something on his whiteboard.

[Feed me something fish-related, for preference. This lot don’t charge money for hugs, but I’m hungry.]

[thewhitestofhats]

The bear. How much?

White Hat paused at this rude tone, Slug narrowing his eyes mistrustfully. “He’s not for outright sale. If you want to rent him, say as a bodyguard, the information is in our catalogue.”

[jamscandraw]

Our non-binary hero travels throughout the land defeating cissexist mythical beasts and being the legal loophole in gender-specific prophecies and curses, just because they can

(please do not redistribute without permission!)

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[jamscandraw]

this comic is now two years old!! I still haven’t really developed this further but I’m definitely planning on coming back to Lock and co. soon, there’s still a lot of potential to be had here and I want to make the most of it

[besidesmys3lf]

Normally I’m on the Dragon’s side, being a monster myself with beef against the established order, but cissexist dragons, by all means, can get punted off the tower and slain by our non-binary hero.

@editorincreeps

[editorincreeps-deactivated20180]

I had the same conflict and the same mental resolution.

[once-upon-a-lyfetime]

I’m in love with this.

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Shadow of true self - for Clem from thewhitestofhats

Clemencia had been sitting on the floor, with her back faced towards the entrance, muttering degrading things to herself. Her entire body was laced and forced into confinement. Corsets and accessories laced far too tightly, if she were of a weaker build, she would have probably been dead from lack of air by now. But so far it just looks like she’s cutting off the circulation of blood on her body. Her body so shackled to a ball on the ground, she could still move around, just not very quickly, she had to be steady and docile for it to move with her, steady and agile, like a lady.

She was huffing, wheezing for air, even her hair covering her felt like it was weighing in and contributing to the feel of restraint on her body, compensating for the things she’s trying to make up for. Ever since the insecurity started with her, she always felt she needed to compensate being buff with something feminine, lighter colors, girlier fronts, baking… Trying all the tropes associated with femininity to prove that herself, was still a lady..

She heard someone…. come into the room… no… a disgusting thing like her didn’t deserve to be seen, not by any one, not by sixy, not by slug…. especially not by White Hat… She slowly stood up, forcing up her posture straight and forced herself to maintain the poise and delicateness that which if a lady. She took one careful step, and the ball slowly began to roll with her, she wasn’t pulling it at all. Eventually she made it to the corner of the room and slowly sat down on the floor, her back faced towards the room and remained straight, because ladies don’t slouch.

@thewhitestofhats

[thewhitestofhats]

While he didn't know what Clem might or might not be planning, White Hat had no intention of letting her out of audiovisual range, much less out of scent range. If she tried to return to this cell-like place, he'd do his utmost to divert her. When he took in her reaction to his touch, it felt as though something inside him melted – she stopped short, he thought, as though stunned to receive his hand. She so slowly reached up to place her hand over his – it was as though she was as touch-starved as he.

Relief coursed through him at the sight of those laces loosening, and he rubbed gentle circles with his thumb while her complexion eased. She wasn't free yet, not by a long chalk, but at least she wasn't suffocating now. He crooned softly to her, the more soothing of his purrs rising slowly in his chest. That hadn't been a conscious choice, but he hoped it would help her. Was she crying? Welling up, at least – he could empathise with that feeling, as it was taking considerable effort not to do so himself. As her cheek pressed against his knuckles, he raised his other hand to gently caress her other cheek, peering at her as though she was all that mattered. In this time, in this place, she was.

Facing him now, she was mumbling, that awful ball turning with her – he didn't look at it, refusing to acknowledge it. His expression brightened at her agreement, and he held out his arm for her to take – he'd gently take hers if she didn't take that step. “Thank you, m'lady – I appreciate that.” He told her softly, sincerity warm in his voice as he opened a portal to the past, a time a figure like hers had been properly appreciated. It seemed to him that her appearance was a large part of what was driving this, and he wanted to counter that. He did, though, discreetly enchant her restraint to be unseen.

[thewhitestofhats]

Kristy Bowman roused from high spirits, though that didn't last. The walls of the room were papered in lighter pallet. Shelves held lumpy clay bowls, some she remembered making, others that she was sure were not her own. The air was freezing and dry, and the twin bed was depressingly empty. She shucked off the thin, itchy bedding. She thought loudly at Black Hat, only slightly terrified. What happened last night?!

Black Hat was, at that point in time, experiencing a moment of profound unease himself. He took her loudly querying prodding as permission to respond in kind, though something about this was feeling distinctly odd, and tried to send back that she’d been replaced by a doppelgänger. He might not have been as coherent as normal, though, as he was somewhat startled and confused, and had only just woken.

[thewhitestofhats]

It wasn't hard to tell that she was offended by their alternates – or, indeed, that his words made her feel awkward. He regretted having accidentally put her in a position of apparently having to explain something she didn't feel comfortable with, but... if she was willing to discuss it, there was no way he'd stop her before he'd heard the answer to the questions whirring inside his head. He was envious of his darker-clad doppleganger, something he had to acknowledge to himself and move on from, though it still rankled that an alternate full of evil should reach that longed-for goal before he did.

“Something he mentioned?” While they'd been alone? A wave of concern tinged with guilt rose in him – he hoped that Black Hat hadn't wronged her while they'd been isolated like that. She seemed okay, but... she was good at seeming. “He didn't hurt you at all, did he? ...The Original Being? The one you've described in such... colourful terms to me? I'm not sure I understand... why would he care?” He could feel her eyes on him, as much as her hands at his elbows, but he didn't have the understanding she sought.

[thewhitestofhats]

Does clemencia have horse boobie?

Clemi squinted at the anon, narrowed eyes and folded arms likely indicating what she thought of that question. “No, I don’t - I’m not a quadruped. Mine might be fairly small, but they’re where you’d expect a human to have them.”

[thewhitestofhats]

A Teary eyed pastel heroine waddles over to a sleeping sixy, with a tub of actual raw cookie dough she sat down and leaned against him, nuzzling against his fur. It seemed as if she'd been crying for quite a while and she just now decided to go to someone about it. Though with that familiar scent of shimmer liquor there was no wonder why she intended to seek out someone or something soft... -Clem

Sixy produced soft, snuffly sounds of concern as he noted that she seemed to have been crying and drinking. One big, furry arm gently wrapped around her, and he gave her a soft nuzzle. His next sound seemed to be intended to encourage her to tell him what was wrong.

[thewhitestofhats]

Clemi quite readily scritched the tummy too, as Diana exposed it, but she didn't get to do so for long. Had she scritched wrong or something? “Hey, you okay, kitty? I hope that wasn't uncomfortable...” At least the kitty didn't seem displeased, but she seemed to be looking for something...

Clemi's eyes widened in surprise as Diana hissed and bolted, Slug momentarily frozen in stunned dismay. “Wait!” He called automatically, despite being under the impression that she couldn't understand him – but she was already gone. Was there something wrong with him, that she was so afraid, or had it simply been that he'd startled her?

For his part, White Hat was somewhat startled to see her arrive in such a tearing hurry, but in spite of his worry at her whining, he wasn't complaining. “Well hello again... Are you alright there, pretty kitty?” He asked, slipping from his chair to slowly approach her at a less daunting height. “I certainly wouldn't mind your company, if you'd like to stay awhile.”

[thewhitestofhats]

Kristy Bowman roused from high spirits, though that didn't last. The walls of the room were papered in lighter pallet. Shelves held lumpy clay bowls, some she remembered making, others that she was sure were not her own. The air was freezing and dry, and the twin bed was depressingly empty. She shucked off the thin, itchy bedding. She thought loudly at Black Hat, only slightly terrified. What happened last night?!

Black Hat was, at that point in time, experiencing a moment of profound unease himself. He took her loudly querying prodding as permission to respond in kind, though something about this was feeling distinctly odd, and tried to send back that she’d been replaced by a doppelgänger. He might not have been as coherent as normal, though, as he was somewhat startled and confused, and had only just woken.

[thewhitestofhats]

White Hat's face was, at first, a study in patronised frustration as both his Kris and her alternate questioned his intellect with what seemed to him to be an entirely simplistic colour comparison. However - as his own alternate's grin turned all the more gleefully wicked, eye glittering with amusement, he paled in realisation.

Here was the version of himself who'd not only given into but embraced his wrath, pain and loathing, and become all that White Hat feared he'd become. Not only that, but the Kris alternates weren't the only ones experiencing that brief moment of eye contact and something else – which only added to the disconcerting feeling.

Aghast, he was about to speak up – when he was struck by what felt like a wave of power. Deep, accented and alive. It was just like a display he'd felt thousands of years ago, but carrying the identity of his winking evil double. Before he could ask, or even fully process what he'd just sensed, both Black Hat and Rosemary were gone. Leaning against a wall, he turned wide eyes on Sirk. “He's... whole...” He breathed unguardedly, somewhat astounded.

[thewhitestofhats]

There may be a certain slime cat currently clutching the prickly doctor close. And growling at the anon. Possibly also ensuring that the bag and goggles remain where they should be.

Slug relaxed a little as Ellie cuddled on, appreciative of the support as he watched the anon leave, ignoring their cusses. “Thanks, Ellie… Man, that sucker was rude.”

[thewhitestofhats]

Me :: * I was so shock more then surprise. Again, i took the bag from his head to see his face * Show me your face !! Dr. Stupid bag

It seemed as though the doctor was potentially wearing some kind of device to cycle new bags into place if one was removed, as this resulted in yet another bag. “Stop that!” Slug barked, training a ray gun on the offending anon. Hero or not, he didn’t appreciate his boundaries being trampled on.