im gnormal

basically im gnome

[thewitheringgnome]

snuck a phone into my carceral trials. finally i can gnext (gnome text) my wife

[thewitheringgnome]

they've sentenced me to unicorn shit harvesting and colon diagnosis

FML

[thewitheringgnome]

hope i can make gnail (gnome bail)

[thewitheringgnome]

DAMNIT THE SUN CAME UP ON THE GNIGHWAY (gnome highway) AND NOW IM GETTING ARRESTED FOR BEING ROCK HARD BEHIND THE WHEEL I HATE THIS JOBBBB

[thewitheringgnome]

my beautiful boobylicious breastacular elfen wifey made another stellar bindle today. gonna really enjoy taking this to work and whistling a merry tune!

[thewitheringgnome]

gnobody understands me man

[thewitheringgnome]

the thing people forget about the gnome mines is that we cna't bring canaries with us. on account of the fact that they stop singing around us. wifey says it's the war, but that's old gnews, at least two centuries gnow, so i don't really know what the big deal is!!!

[thewitheringgnome]

sexy wife brought home more more meat tonight!! OHOHOOHO eating GOOD! *rubben my little roung tummyI*

[thewitheringgnome]

portugal isn't real

[thewitheringgnome]

what ever happened to a good old fashioned maypole dance? now its all square dancing and jigging. the world has gone to shit!!!

[thewitheringgnome]

its always "jack be gnimble jack be quick" and gnever "jack, how are you feeling? we're worried about you an d your risk-taking behaviours lately!"

[thewitheringgnome]

another day another gnollar (gnome dollar)

[synthetic-ultramarine]

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

[thewitheringgnome]

can someone send me these links? i need to get out of the gnome mines

[medievaljournalist]

Any news from the gnomelands?

somewhere a baleful chuckle echoes on the wind

[thewitheringgnome]

that's about where the gnome mines entrance is! how unfortunate this is where you would end up! no worries, however, if you spot a tall and beautiful BUT IMPORTANTLY MARRIED! I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH! elf warrior woman, then perhaps she can lead you to a safe haven free of hounds and the mournful sound of gminers (gnome miners)

[monharicot]

I know " woke " might tell you if you can do that but fairies really only eat plants and healthy food so it would not be possible for them to be overweight, fat. or chubby

oh...fairies aren't. they aren't real

[norahsdove]

My fat fairy ass eating the sprinkles off of donuts and sipping on sprite puddles

[greebledgoblin]

fairies r fat as shit off nectar

[loverofmythology]

THERE'S LITERALLY COUNTLESS STORIES OF FAIRES EATING CAKES AND HAVING FEASTS, AND STEALING HONEY AND CREAM FROM PEOPLE

THERE ARE ALSO VARIED DESCRIPTIONS OF WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, INCLUDING DIFFERENT BODY SHAPES

[thewitheringgnome]

fairies are usually chubby. everyone who doesnt agree is wrong! signed; a gnome who lives in a fairy gneighborhood with a sexy elf wife

[thewitheringgnome]

contrary to popular belief, it was actually gnomes who destroyed the dark lord. the ring thing is allegedly correct, but i have my doubts. dark lords do tend to get freaky

[thewitheringgnome]

this is the move i used to bag a baddie (sexy elf wife)