im gnormal

basically im gnome

[thewitheringgnome]

portugal isn't real

[thewitheringgnome]

what ever happened to a good old fashioned maypole dance? now its all square dancing and jigging. the world has gone to shit!!!

[thewitheringgnome]

its always "jack be gnimble jack be quick" and gnever "jack, how are you feeling? we're worried about you an d your risk-taking behaviours lately!"

[thewitheringgnome]

another day another gnollar (gnome dollar)

[synthetic-ultramarine]

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

[thewitheringgnome]

can someone send me these links? i need to get out of the gnome mines

[medievaljournalist]

Any news from the gnomelands?

somewhere a baleful chuckle echoes on the wind

[thewitheringgnome]

that's about where the gnome mines entrance is! how unfortunate this is where you would end up! no worries, however, if you spot a tall and beautiful BUT IMPORTANTLY MARRIED! I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH! elf warrior woman, then perhaps she can lead you to a safe haven free of hounds and the mournful sound of gminers (gnome miners)

[monharicot]

I know " woke " might tell you if you can do that but fairies really only eat plants and healthy food so it would not be possible for them to be overweight, fat. or chubby

oh...fairies aren't. they aren't real

[norahsdove]

My fat fairy ass eating the sprinkles off of donuts and sipping on sprite puddles

[greebledgoblin]

fairies r fat as shit off nectar

[loverofmythology]

THERE'S LITERALLY COUNTLESS STORIES OF FAIRES EATING CAKES AND HAVING FEASTS, AND STEALING HONEY AND CREAM FROM PEOPLE

THERE ARE ALSO VARIED DESCRIPTIONS OF WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, INCLUDING DIFFERENT BODY SHAPES

[thewitheringgnome]

fairies are usually chubby. everyone who doesnt agree is wrong! signed; a gnome who lives in a fairy gneighborhood with a sexy elf wife

[thewitheringgnome]

contrary to popular belief, it was actually gnomes who destroyed the dark lord. the ring thing is allegedly correct, but i have my doubts. dark lords do tend to get freaky

[thewitheringgnome]

this is the move i used to bag a baddie (sexy elf wife)

[thewitheringgnome]

gnome doctor says they gotta flush out my lungs again. thinking about filing a complaint with gnosha

[thewitheringgnome]

you guys think im cool yeah?

[thewitheringgnome]

gnomio and juliet is fake news

[thewitheringgnome]

we need to get rid of plastic beads. i keep finding them in my pies and choking really bad and it makes a big bulbous bump in my throat and then my sexy elf wife has to do the heimlich maneuver on me and its hard because shes so strong and im only 1 foot tall at most, maybe smaller, so i break a rib every time.

ceramic beads are okay though, those make me taller by a single micrometer.

[thewitheringgnome]

sexy breastalicious wife on my right, gigglemead on my left. tonight is gonna be like a movie

[thewitheringgnome]

wife killed another foul hound today. cant stop winning!

[thewitheringgnome]

Woulde you guys still fw me if I got BBL (boysenberry lung, a serious condition you get from the gnome mines)

[piosplayhouse]

The existence of a safeword also implies the existence of a dangerword that you can use to instantly turn any sexual event into a combat encounter

[thewitheringgnome]

my beautiful elfen wife and i have one of these! it is how i keep my skills sharp and my hat even sharper