The Only Non-Engineering Kid On My Block
Being an Indian (Or is it an Asian thing?), sort of binds you to be an engineer. You could even stretch so far as to call it your birthright? For some, it begins when you’re a kid and for some it comes in much later, probably in high school that being an engineer is your first most important goal in life. It is instilled in us, that if you do end up being one, you’re rewarded.
Most of us are born into a family that has produced engineers of all kinds and some of us are fortunate to be born into a family that has a mixed bag of professions (absolutely nothing against the profession or the ones who choose engineering as their profession, just normalising). Well, I wasn’t one of the fortunate ones. I come from a family of engineers after engineers after engineers. The probability of finding a non-engineer in my family is 1 out of a 100 or more (That would be me).
My journey began when I was in primary school and all I wanted to be was a teacher. My mother was a teacher back then and I would miss school (something I love doing, taking a leave of absence from my responsibilities) and go to my mother’s workplace and just watch her teach. I would sometimes find an empty classroom and pretend there are kids and teach (not like I knew much to impart knowledge). On the days that I did go to school, I was introduced to EVS (environmental science). It was a culmination of biology, chemistry and a little bit of physics (how much ever a 10 year old could handle). Lucky for me, I had a great EVS teacher. EVS always had my full attention, given that I possessed the attention span of a squirrel.
Then came high school and all doors to rumination opened. Suddenly everyone around me was frantic and always had their hands full with things that could get them an extra grade or extra credit. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do or which direction I wanted to head. I was never one of those class toppers or extra curricular queen or in the student union trying to make a difference, I was just an ordinary run of the mill high schooler. I discovered that I had a penchant for science and English. There was something about these subjects that was so fascinating. I was also beginning to get good at it, as opposed to all the other subjects (it was inversely proportional, the better I did in science and English, the worse I got in math, socials and whatever else existed. Math still gives me nightmares). It came to me as almost a revelation that I should be a vet or a journalist. I’m passionate about animals, I can comprehend science and I know the ways of English, yes that’s what I will be. My father wasn’t too happy about my choice but he didn’t take it too seriously as I was known for not making steady decisions.
When it actually came down to choosing my specialty, I did not get to choose biology and that drowned my dreams of being a vet and gave birth to my father’s dream of me being an engineer as I was offered a computer science seat. Oh the disbelief, I was dismayed. What was actually playing havoc with my dreams was that I was good at computer science and my father was ecstatic that he would produce yet another engineer and I had pretty much forgotten about journalism.
As I wrapped up another educational milestone, it was soon time to address the elephant in the room, to be or not to be, that was the question. We had been sweeping it under the carpet for far too long, my adamant (apparently) need to not be an engineer. Has that happened to you, where something is expected of you, a pressurizing expectation, when not living up to it will cost you? There I was, stuck and sinking. You would think, standing up for something you want and almost inherently believe in, will be easy. Almost everyone I knew (literally 90% or more people), had decided engineering was the way to go, whether they liked it or not (that was secondary. How can something like that even be secondary?). Some paid more for it and some paid “just about right” for it. Early 20s and I’m adrift. I did not have the courage to say that I cannot do engineering, it's just not my cup of tea. Instead of facing what was an inevitable conversation, I stalled by giving architecture a hand. Oh did I crash and burn. Miserably.
It was a very foreign concept, not studying engineering (definitely still is). What would people say? How will you make a living? How will you sustain yourself with a meager earning? It is almost shameful and lowly for one to take up something like a bachelor in science or arts or commerce. A stigma that is so deeply engraved in our society that it hinders the way we look at people and tag their intelligence or their sheer capability to become something. A prejudice that exists everywhere but goes unaddressed. It comes out maybe as a thinly veiled insult or a snarky comment at a family get together. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say oh a B.Sc doesn’t get you anywhere, there’s no future, I would be rich. I get it that among generations before us, engineering was the only way to a sustainable living. Urbanization and industrialization were booming and engineering was in demand (it still is, no doubt). But since when did it become a thing of status and knowledge? Since when did it become a tool to categorize people?
And so war was commenced for not wanting engineering. It was a period of agony and mostly breathlessness. Does it have to be this hard though? Not only do you have to do this alone in society but also alone in your own family? And live low-key always in fear of facing the "I told you so"? For as long as you prove your worth (actually even after you prove your worth, wait why should I even prove my worth?).
Even now, I see so many people not taking up what they actually want out of fear and the very “in your face” discrimination that exists in our society. So many people I’ve spoken to who are just dissatisfied and unhappy because they wanted to be something else and end up with “you know how it goes, my parents didn’t support me” or “it's the cliche story. I wanted to be so and so but then, it didn’t work out”. Why do we make it so difficult for people to just.. Flourish?
Today I’m 26, a nutritionist (B.Sc and M.Sc). You know, it's funny how I came about becoming a nutritionist. I had initially opted for chemistry and chemistry came with its pals, physics and math. Now, physics I don’t mind at all (I’m all about that Ohm) but math, I did mention about the nightmares bit right? A week of it and I was dying. I had to get my subjects changed to something with chemistry (and ta-ta math) and found nutrition and dietetics in the prospectus. Sounded quite fancy and interesting (obviously) and a very whimsical choice it was that completely turned my life around and for good. I’ve never felt so right, ever before in my life (I say that about a lot of relationships in my life, my friends would know but this one’s a keeper).
Don’t get me wrong, my parents and my sister are super supportive. Took my dad a while (a long time) to wrap his head around it but he eventually did. I’ve nothing against engineers (did I tell you my family is full of them?) and I know so many engineers who are very passionate about what they do (only respect). But think about it, does it really have to be this hard? With all the “road not taken” poetic jazz to it? No. It doesn’t have to be. I mean, how can you presume that engineering is a shoe that fits all when you don’t live another’s life but your own?
TLDR- Be compassionate because everyone’s trying to fit in. Respect a profession for what it contributes to society, just as yours does. Everyone’s hustling. It doesn’t have to be this hard or feel out of control when it's your own life that you’re deciding for. Isn’t this prejudice stronger towards men than women? (read: benevolent sexism). Abort. Abort. Abort.
Normalise it. Accept it. Love it. Respect it. Do what makes you happy and pursue what you're good at. We’re on each other’s team. Kinda tired of having to throw my hands in the air.
P.S. NEP is executing some very interesting changes in the education system, I’m hoping that’s the beginning of cessation of these stereotypes.