brainworms tell me what to do

|| very unserious au ask/rp blog ft. darvo, his sapient brain mold, and his seemingly endless supply of boyfriends || main @darvobek

[cephalon-simaris]

Sometimes Darvo gets so hyperfocused on something that I have to blue kuva the two of us so his body ends up getting some fucking sleep.

Granted, that means he’ll spend the night researching his hyperfixation on my Sanctuary computers while I sleep, but so long as his body is rested…

[theworstcorpus]

CALL ME OUT WHY DONT YOU

[cephalon-simaris]

I am begging you to get a normal sleep schedule. Or at least stop making me go do your job in the morning because you’re still researching. Last time I had to pretend to be you, Cressa kept laughing at how I hold my wrists and its very upseting.

[theworstcorpus]

so THATS what she meant when she was giving me shit for limping my wrist at her. yeah sorry that’s hilarious i won’t lie

[cephalon-simaris]

Sometimes Darvo gets so hyperfocused on something that I have to blue kuva the two of us so his body ends up getting some fucking sleep.

Granted, that means he’ll spend the night researching his hyperfixation on my Sanctuary computers while I sleep, but so long as his body is rested…

[theworstcorpus]

CALL ME OUT WHY DONT YOU

[sequenced-mutalist]

I’m gonna commune with Parvos Granum just to call him Daddy to his face just ya’ll wait

[zalk-t-r]

Boss, no offense, but I wish you couldn’t speak

[sequenced-mutalist]

You’re jealous cause I’m about to get fucking RAILED by the Corpus Founder, huh

[zalk-t-r]

I’m going to go shoot myself out of the airlock

[theworstcorpus]

take me with you i can’t do it anymore

[sequenced-mutalist]

I keep squintig I dont know why

im so high help m

me

[theworstcorpus]

^ you rn

[sequenced-mutalist]

I HAVE EATEN EIGHT BAGS OF POPCORN AND COUNTING

[theworstcorpus]

full sized or the little snack ones?

[sequenced-mutalist]

FULL

[theworstcorpus]

niiiiiiiiiiiice

[sequenced-mutalist]

I keep squintig I dont know why

im so high help m

me

[theworstcorpus]

^ you rn

[sequenced-mutalist]

I HAVE EATEN EIGHT BAGS OF POPCORN AND COUNTING

[theworstcorpus]

full sized or the little snack ones?

[sequenced-mutalist]

I keep squintig I dont know why

im so high help m

me

[theworstcorpus]

^ you rn

[sequenced-mutalist]

Im baking like a little bun

[sequenced-mutalist]

Im bread

[theworstcorpus]

you good?

[theworstcorpus]

LMFAOOOOOOO GLAST IS GONNA HAVE TO DRAG ALAD ONTO THAT RAILJACK KICKING AND SCREAMING

[sequenced-mutalist]

Darvo, my dearest Step Son, would you kindly assist in dragging your father’s boney white ass to the docks?

[theworstcorpus]

for once? yes. i WILL help you.

[sequenced-mutalist]

Oh! I almost forgot that Glast wanted me to make sure the programming on his Railjack volunteer system was working today.

So instead I’m going to take you guys with me and show it off!

[sequenced-mutalist]

So basically it’s a way for Perrin to quickly sign up for a Tenno’s Railjack crew with the return of potential rank increases and pay (or honestly any other equivalent return you would wish for. We can add an exchange of materials for you or even exclusive training if needed.) upon completing missions in the name of our syndicate!

So okay to start, you just need to enter some credentials and what not. I’ll put in myself, but I’ll withdraw it at the end, don’t worry.

[sequenced-mutalist]

So you get all your information and talents sorted. We’ll match this all up to figure out how much of a consignment fee you’ll get for the tenno to hire you and all that. Pretty easy! Although, you’ll want to give it some time. There have been reports of some glitches where it endlessly loads. If that happens, just refresh the page and recalculate. Your information SHOULD be saved.

And there we go! Yes, you’re seeing that several million credits right. I am no cheap engineer.

[sequenced-mutalist]

And so once a tenno agrees to hire you for their crew, a notification will come up like this! Don’t know why a tenno would want to drop several million on a crewmate, but remember, this is just a test run!

Now you hit accept, and there we go! You’ll get the coordinates for their ship and some details about it’s parts and capabilities! Simple enough!

Now to just undo this very quick test run!

[sequenced-mutalist]

And you just… hit withdraw and…

And….

Um… Glast, darling. It’s not… No, no, it just won’t…

Glast, I don’t actually have to go on a Railjack, do I?

[voidtongued]

COME HERE WORM BOY

[theworstcorpus]

GET HIS ASS!!!

[theworstcorpus]

LMFAOOOOOOO GLAST IS GONNA HAVE TO DRAG ALAD ONTO THAT RAILJACK KICKING AND SCREAMING

[sequenced-mutalist]

Oh! I almost forgot that Glast wanted me to make sure the programming on his Railjack volunteer system was working today.

So instead I’m going to take you guys with me and show it off!

[sequenced-mutalist]

So basically it’s a way for Perrin to quickly sign up for a Tenno’s Railjack crew with the return of potential rank increases and pay (or honestly any other equivalent return you would wish for. We can add an exchange of materials for you or even exclusive training if needed.) upon completing missions in the name of our syndicate!

So okay to start, you just need to enter some credentials and what not. I’ll put in myself, but I’ll withdraw it at the end, don’t worry.

[sequenced-mutalist]

So you get all your information and talents sorted. We’ll match this all up to figure out how much of a consignment fee you’ll get for the tenno to hire you and all that. Pretty easy! Although, you’ll want to give it some time. There have been reports of some glitches where it endlessly loads. If that happens, just refresh the page and recalculate. Your information SHOULD be saved.

And there we go! Yes, you’re seeing that several million credits right. I am no cheap engineer.

[sequenced-mutalist]

And so once a tenno agrees to hire you for their crew, a notification will come up like this! Don’t know why a tenno would want to drop several million on a crewmate, but remember, this is just a test run!

Now you hit accept, and there we go! You’ll get the coordinates for their ship and some details about it’s parts and capabilities! Simple enough!

Now to just undo this very quick test run!

[sequenced-mutalist]

And you just… hit withdraw and…

And….

Um… Glast, darling. It’s not… No, no, it just won’t…

Glast, I don’t actually have to go on a Railjack, do I?

[theworstcorpus]

OOOOOOOOOOHHHH YOU FUCKED UP!!!

[sequenced-mutalist]

NO NO SHUT UP NO I DIDN’T MEAN NO WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE DROP EIGHT MILLION CREDITS??? STOP IT DONT

[theworstcorpus]

HAVE FUN!!!!! TELL THE TENNO I SAID HI!!! TRY NOT TO GET SHOT

[sequenced-mutalist]

Oh! I almost forgot that Glast wanted me to make sure the programming on his Railjack volunteer system was working today.

So instead I’m going to take you guys with me and show it off!

[sequenced-mutalist]

So basically it’s a way for Perrin to quickly sign up for a Tenno’s Railjack crew with the return of potential rank increases and pay (or honestly any other equivalent return you would wish for. We can add an exchange of materials for you or even exclusive training if needed.) upon completing missions in the name of our syndicate!

So okay to start, you just need to enter some credentials and what not. I’ll put in myself, but I’ll withdraw it at the end, don’t worry.

[sequenced-mutalist]

So you get all your information and talents sorted. We’ll match this all up to figure out how much of a consignment fee you’ll get for the tenno to hire you and all that. Pretty easy! Although, you’ll want to give it some time. There have been reports of some glitches where it endlessly loads. If that happens, just refresh the page and recalculate. Your information SHOULD be saved.

And there we go! Yes, you’re seeing that several million credits right. I am no cheap engineer.

[sequenced-mutalist]

And so once a tenno agrees to hire you for their crew, a notification will come up like this! Don’t know why a tenno would want to drop several million on a crewmate, but remember, this is just a test run!

Now you hit accept, and there we go! You’ll get the coordinates for their ship and some details about it’s parts and capabilities! Simple enough!

Now to just undo this very quick test run!

[sequenced-mutalist]

And you just… hit withdraw and…

And….

Um… Glast, darling. It’s not… No, no, it just won’t…

Glast, I don’t actually have to go on a Railjack, do I?

[theworstcorpus]

OOOOOOOOOOHHHH YOU FUCKED UP!!!

[theworstcorpus]

wait hang on this rules actually

[theworstcorpus]

i don’t have a SINGLE clue how parenting works because for the first 100 years of my life i literally never experienced any of it

[theworstcorpus]

like??/ what do i even DO??????????? 

[sequenced-mutalist]

Give them affection and make bad jokes.

[theworstcorpus]

is it really that simple???? my god.

[theworstcorpus]

i don’t have a SINGLE clue how parenting works because for the first 100 years of my life i literally never experienced any of it

[theworstcorpus]

like??/ what do i even DO??????????? 

[theworstcorpus]

i don’t have a SINGLE clue how parenting works because for the first 100 years of my life i literally never experienced any of it

[theworstcorpus]

in less than 24 hours i went from not having any kids and never planning on it to suddenly discovering i am a father to potentially infinite kids because like, a hair or something fell in a cloning vat. having a normal one

[sequenced-mutalist]

Eventually they’ll just grow on you (haha) and you get used to it.

Enjoy your youth while it lasts, though!

[theworstcorpus]

THEYRE ALL ALREADY GROWN UP!! SOME OF THEM ARE TALLER THAN ME!!!!!!! AND THEY ARE ALL CALLING ME DAGH AND DOGPILING ME AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY