for.fucks.sake

if you can’t tell i really love birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

i made these simple phone wallpapers. :) feel free to use them.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Dinah: how’s the most beautiful woman in the world?

Helena: i’m-

Harley: i’m wonderful. thanks for asking.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Cass: alright, good. thanks mom.

Dinah: you just called harley mom. you said “thanks mom”.

Cass: what? no i didn’t. i said thanks man.

Harley: do you see me as a mother figure cassie?

Cass: no. if anything i see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Renee: hey! show your mother some respect.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Cass: i got you this for your birthday Helly.

Helena: it’s a diamond necklace. oh Cass, how much did it cost?

Cass: um, nothing?

Helena: you stole? again? really, Cassie?

Cass: sorry, it’s like second nature. but hey, looks like you like the necklace.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Helena: what’s that?

Dinah: oh, that’s my to-do list.

Helena: that’s just a post-it note with my name on it.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Dinah: renee what are you drinking?

Renee: tea.

Dinah: oh, what kind of tea?

Renee: tea... quila?

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Dinah: what’s your biggest weakness?

Helena: i can be uncooperative.

Dinah: give me an example.

Helena: no.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Harley: we aren’t mad, we’re just disappointed.

Renee: no, we are mad.

Harley: yes, we are. we are livid. but we’re going to let this one slide.

Cass: thank you.

Renee: no, we are not.

Harley: i’m not a mind reader montoya.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Harley: is there anything you’re actually capable of doing a good job of?

Dinah: putting up with the shit you pull is one thing that comes to mind.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Helena: cassie, it’s your 18th birthday, you know what that means?

cass: phew, i don’t have to cover up that tattoo harley helped me get anymore.

Renee: your WHAT?! harley?!

Harley: snitch! it was her idea!

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Cass: why are people so excited about ‘top’ and ‘bottom’? i would just be happy to have a bunk bed.

Harley: i’m going to tell her.

Renee: don’t you dare.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Dinah: are you in the mood for a quickie?

Helena: what?!

Dinah: a quickie. you know, one of those tart things.

Helena: IT’S PRONOUNCED QUICHE!

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Helena: how are you feeling?

Renee: i have this headache that comes and goes.

*Harley walks in*

Harley: hey whores!

Renee: here it comes.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Harley: what are you doing?

Cass: nothing.

Harley: is that the same nothing that got you arrested last time?

Cass: no, that was a completely different nothing.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Renee: this is the worst thing you’ve done.

Harley: you know, you’ve said that so much it’s lost all meaning.

[theycallmecrossbowkiller]

Dinah: helena has a good heart.

Renee: yeah, i’ve noticed you staring at her “good heart”.