The Year in Rawview

The Year in Rawview: 1998 is an unofficial epic history of WWF Raw from the year 1998 put together by two nerds, Adam Littman and David (Wm.) Murray. They can be reached at [email protected]. Follow The Year in Rawview on Twitter: @Rawview.

[theyearinrawview]

Monday Night Raw: October 12, 1998

The show opens with a recap of Stone Cold Steve Austin losing his WWF title, Vince McMahon’s celebrating and Austin’s multiple sneak attacks on McMahon. They also keep playing clips of McMahon saying “There will be no rematch” and Austin saying “I ain’t through with ya, Vince, not by a long shot” over and over again. Backstage, the gate is down to drive inside the arena and someone is honking trying to get in. It’s McMahon, who is driving himself in a fancy car to the arena tonight in Long Island. The gate goes up, McMahon drives in and yells at the gate operator. Commission Slaughter, Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson held McMahon climb out of the car and into a wheelchair. He wants the gate left up so Stone Cold can get into the arena. McMahon invited Austin to the arena tonight, and he wants to make sure Stone Cold can get in easily.

Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws (Bad Ass Billy Gunn & Road Dogg Jesse James) vs. LoD 2000 (Animal & Droz with Hawk) (for the titles) Hawk is back after his drinking problems kept him away for a while. He joins Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler at the announcers’ table for this one. He says he’s healthy, sober and doing the best he can. JR asks what the issue was and Hawk says he got hooked on pain pills. He adds that Animal said it’d be best for Hawk to be an alternate on the team right now.

King wants to know when Hawk will get back in the ring and JR says this Sunday at Judgement Day Hawk, Animal and Droz will take on the Disciples of Apocalypse and Paul Ellering in a six-man tag. Speaking of those three, they run and ambush Hawk at the announcers’ table and just gang up on him.

Droz and Animal leave the ring to get help Hawk and I still haven’t heard a bell, so I guess the match isn’t technically over. The Headbangers run out and into the ring, and hit Road Dogg in the head with a boombox.

The Headbangers will fight the Outlaws at Judgement Day for the titles. They run back up the ramp and about five referees run out to break up the DoA/LoD brawl at ringside. Apparently getting hit with a boombox can be painful.

The McMahon-Austin feud has apparently carried over the entire WWF, according to JR, as McMahon returned to work late last week and has been furious. He stripped Triple H of his Intercontinental belt, as Helmsley has been hurt for some time and hasn’t been able to defend it. JR says a new Intercontinental Champion will be crowned tonight, as McMahon set up a one-night tournament to crown a new champ, but hasn’t announced who is in the tournament yet. McMahon is backstage resting up and pointing.

Steve Blackman is back early from knee surgery, ordered by McMahon to return so he can participate in the Intercontinental Championship tournament. Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock (Intercontinental Championship tournament first round match) Shamrock attacks immediately, catching Blackman in a powerslam. Shamrock gets right to work, attacking that injured right knee of Blackman. Blackman is limping around, but takes a slight advantage by reversing and Irish whip and throwing Shamrock into the corner. Shamrock charges Blackman, who connects with a clothesline. Blackman walks over to Shamrock and stands over him, but Shamrock rolls him up into a submission hold, putting a ton of pressure on that already injured knee. Blackman taps out.

A masked man with a sparkly blue cape runs in the ring and hits Shamrock with a spinning heel kick. He kicks Blackman, who was already down, a few times and leaves the ring.

JR asks if that’s the Blue Blazer, but says it can’t be. Whoever he is, he has a red bird on his cape.

Shamrock doesn’t know what to do, so he puts an ankle lock on Blackman.

And yells.

The ref tells him to stop, and Shamrock yells at the ref to get out of his way. The ref calls in some other refs, so Shamrock drops Blackman’s leg and threatens them. They leave. Shamrock yells some more. Val Venis (with Terri Runnels) vs. Marc Mero (with Jacqueline) (Intercontinental Championship tournament first round match) The two trade drop toe holds early on and Mero ducks under two attempted clotheslines by Venis. Venis catches a running Mero in a powerslam and covers, but Mero kicks out. Not at all creepy, but Jacqueline is wearing her hair in a long ponytail with the hair she ripped off of Sable’s head tied into it.

Mero drops Mero and goes to head out of the ring to climb up top. Terri stops him, and for some reason, he doesn’t just try another corner. Venis walks up behind him and connects on a fisherman’s suplex into a cover for the win. Jacqueline runs up and attacks Terri outside of the ring.

The two wrestlers and some refs break it up. Mero and Jacqueline walk up the ramp while Venis consoles Terri. It’s way way way sexy.

Here’s an updated bracket for tonight’s tournament, apparently.

Backstage, Paul Bearer arrives with a briefcase. Also, Michael Cole is with Sable, who was on “Pacific Blue” last night. Cole says Sable was great! He asks if she’s going to leave the WWF to act full time and Sable says of course not. She wants to become the WWF Women’s Champion. She walks across a hall, into a dressing room and drags Jacqueline out. Sable drags Jacqueline out next to the ramp and they brawl. A bunch of dudes break it up.

Long Island’s own Mankind is up next, but first they run a clip of him speaking to Cole earlier tonight. Mankind will fight Shamrock at Judgement Day after Shamrock hit Mankind in the head with a chair recently. It didn’t hurt Mankind, Mankind says. Actually, it was the weakest chair shot Mankind’s ever taken. Also, he has one word for Shamrock, “Socko!”

Mankind vs. Mark Henry (Intercontinental Championship first round match) As soon as this one starts, Chyna walks out. Depending on which side of a certain lawsuit you’re on, Chyna is either Henry’s girlfriend or the woman who is being sued by Henry for sexual harassment for refusing to be his girlfriend. Meanwhile, in the ring, Henry if tossing Mankind around like it’s nothing. He climbs to the middle rope and goes for a big splash, but Mankind rolls away.

Mankind ducks under a clothesline, kicks Henry in the stomach and lands a double arm DDT. Mankind takes off his left shoe, takes off his sock and puts it on his arm. It’s Mr. Socko!

He locks in the Mandible Claw and the ref calls it as Henry possibly passes out.

Chyna gets in the ring and while we can’t hear her, it looks like she asks him why he’s suing her. Henry yells something and walks away. Backstage, a cement truck pulls into the parking lot.

It’s Stone Cold! Backstage, McMahon is confused and angry. Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac (Intercontinental Championship tournament first round match) If you remember, these two have fought before, most notable in a hair vs. hair match, in which X-Pac won and shaved Jarrett. Jarrett certainly remembers, as he attacks X-Pac before this one officially starts. Jarrett gets a few shots in, but X-Pac turns things around by ducking under a clothesline and hitting one of his own. X-Pac climbs to the top rope, Jarrett climbs up there with him and they trade blows. X-Pac knocks him off and goes for a flip, but Jarrett rolls away.

Jarrett goes for a figure four, but X-Pac counters with a rollup cover. X-Pac kicks out. X-Pac toss Jarrett in the corner and kicks him a few times, even jumping up on the middle rope for one last kick. When X-Pac jumps off the ropes, he accidentally elbows the ref. X-Pac goes for a bronco buster, but Jarrett sticks up his right leg and drives it into X-Pac’s testicles. King yells that it’s the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

Jarrett rolls out of the ring and reaches under the ring, pulling out his guitar case. He brings his case in the ring, opens it and pulls out... what?

It’s Head! X-Pac sneaks up behind Jarrett and scores a rollup pin for the victory! Al Snow runs in the ring, grabs Head and slides out! Al Snow is really happy.

Backstage, Austin drives his cement truck up to McMahon’s Corvette and McMahon is not happy.

Austin starts filling McMahon’s car with cement!

  Turns out, a Corvette can only hold a certain amount of cement, even if it’s a convertible.

Austin leaves the truck on and walks away, so it keeps pouring cement into McMahon’s car as Austin makes his way to the ring. After a break, Austin gets in the ring and grabs a mic.

Austin: “First off, I’d like Mr. McMahon for the invitation here tonight. Now, I’ll apologize to ya because there must’ve been some mistake in the address that went to Austin 3:16 construction company. See, what you did, Vince, when you screwed Stone Cold Steve Austin, hell son, it’s easy to see that you cemented your own damn fate because you can rest assured that Stone Cold Steve Austin, as long he’s here in the World Wrestling Federation and as long as you’re here too, I will make your life a living hell and that’s all I got to say about that. As far as this Sunday goes, Stone Cold Steve Austin special referee, hell, I’ll be glad to put the stripped shirt on because I think I’d make a damn good referee for this match. If you think Stone Cold Steve Austin would make a damn good referee, gimme a hell yeah. [Crowd gives him a hell yeah] I’ll tell you this, after those two bastards beat the living hell out of each other, you can bet your ass the only hand Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna hold up is my own. And the thing about it, Vince, is there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. [Vince wheels himself out to the top of the ramp] Go ahead and wheel your little ass down here.”

A large masked man walks out behind McMahon and Austin walks up the ramp to them. Two officers with K-9 police dogs walk out as well.

McMahon: “I hope you’re real proud. What gives you the right to destroy other people’s property? What gives you the right to pour concrete in one of my Corvettes? That was part of a collection, and now you’ve ruined it. I just hope that the Stone Cold Steve Austin construction company gives you a pair of boots, because you’re gonna need them tonight, let me tell you that. You’re gonna need them because you’re gonna be wrestling in that ring tonight. Yeah, but you’re not gonna be wrestling by yourself. Oh no, I’ve got a partner picked out for you. The so-called People’s Champion, The Rock. Yeah, that’s the good news, if there is any good news. The bad news is that you and the Rock will be facing two individuals that I hope annihilate each other this weekend. You’ll be facing the Undertaker and Kane. I also hope that the Austin 3:16 construction company is gonna provide you with a real good rearview mirror because I think sometime tonight you’re gonna have to have eyes in the back of your head. I think of all I’ve been through these last two weeks, and I admit, my life has been a living hell. I admit. [A very loud “asshole” chant breaks out in the crowd] What the hell’s the matter with you people?” Austin: “I don’t know how good your hearing is, but about 15,000 people are calling you an asshole.” McMahon: “Over the last two weeks, it all started after you lost the WWF title and you recklessly and carelessly drove that Zamboni at full speed into the arena. You didn’t care who you ran over as long as you got to me. And then from there, you got to me all right. And after you did, and because of you, the Undertaker and Kane crushed my ankle. It’s crushed. I may never ever again play another polo match. I may again ride a horse ever. I may never again compete in an athletic event, and I hold you responsible. And then in the hospital last week, my god, my head is still ringing from being struck in the cranium by that thick metal bed pan. My nervous system is still in shock over that defibrillation. And my rectal area, when you stuck, you violated me, Austin. You violated me! That damn open hospital gown. Let me tell you something, as much humiliation as I’ve suffered, you’re gonna suffer more and I’ll tell you where and I’ll tell you when. It’s gonna be this Sunday, and it’ll be in Chicago. And let me tell you something, if you don’t raise the hand of the new World Wrestling Federation champion and humble yourself before me, then read my lips: I promise you, I guarantee you, Austin, if you don’t raise the hand of a new WWF champion, then this Sunday on the spot, I will fire your ass.” Austin: “You stupid bastard, you ain’t got the balls to fire Stone Cold Steve Austin.” McMahon: “I don’t have the balls? I’ve got balls the size of grapefruits, and this Sunday you’re gonna be picking the seeds out of your teeth because, Austin, you will be humbled, I guarantee it, one way or the other: the easy way, you raise the hand of a champion, the hard way, I publicly, I guarantee, I will fire your ass this Sunday!”

Ho. Lee. Shit!!!!! I don’t even know where to begin with all that. That’s fucking amazing. Everything is great! Val Venis walks out for his semifinal match in the intercontinental title tournament. The fans are really taking to Val and creating some great signs in his honor.

Anyway, Shamrock runs out and attacks Venis before the match officially starts.

Shamrock beats down Venis at the bottom of the ramp a bit and Venis fights back slightly. He tries to whip Shamrock, who counters by whipping Venis into the steel steps. He slams Venis’ head onto the steps and rolls him in the ring to officially start this one up. Val Venis (with Terri Runnels) vs. Ken Shamrock (Intercontinental Championship tournament semifinal match) Shamrock scoop slams Venis in the ring and kicks him around a bit. Shamrock hits a snap suplex into a cover, but Venis kicks out. Shamrock locks a Boston crab on Venis, presumably not the first time Venis has faced some sort of crab. Venis tries to crawl to the rope, but right before he can reach it, Shamrock walks him back to the center of the ring. Venis again crawls toward the rope and finally grabs it. Venis turns things around and connects with a few elbows to Shamrock’s face. Venis whips Shamrock against the ropes, and Shamrock ducks under a clothesline and dives at Venis’ ankle, dropping him to the mat, Venis grabs his ankle and rolls around. Shamrock puts him in a ankle lock and Venis taps pretty quickly.

Terri gets in the ring to check on Venis and Goldust’s music hits. He walks out! Terri leaves the ring and Venis scoots into a corner. Goldust humps all the air and undresses!

He attacks Venis, lifts him up and sits him down on the middle rope. He places Venis’ legs outside of the ropes, leaving Val rather open and exposed. Goldust runs up and kicks Val square in the nuts!

He’s really back! This must be what Easter is supposed to feel like. After a break, McMahon and his buddies are backstage surveying the damage.

Mankind walks up and says maybe McMahon can still sell it. It’s pretty great that he’s sort of part of McMahon’s entourage at this point. Slaughter says there’s a briefcase in there somewhere, so Mankind says he’ll dig through the still wet cement.

He does and doesn’t find anything. He says he’ll give it another go, and does. Mankind yells that he’s found something, but not what. The show cuts to the Rock backstage at the interview area. Rock says he’s beaten Kane and Undertaker before and the only problem he has with tonight’s main event is being partners with Stone Cold. D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry walk up, and D’Lo asks if Rock is too good for them now that he’s teaming with Stone Cold. Rock tells them they’ll go talk about it elsewhere. Mankind vs. X-Pac (Intercontinental Championship tournament semifinal) Mankind suplexes X-Pac early in this one and tosses him out of the ring. Mankind slams X-Pac’s face into the steel steps. He grabs a chair, gets back in the ring and the ref gets between Mankind and X-Pac.

Mankind drops the chair and the ref tosses it out of the ring. Mankind connects with a knee to X-Pac’s face, knocking X-Pac out of the ring. Mankind slides out of the ring and hits X-Pac with a swinging neckbreaker. Shamrock walks down to the ring. He watches for a bit as Mankind rolls X-Pac back in the ring. While the ref’s back is turned, Shamrock hits Mankind’s left leg with the chair.

X-Pac rolls Mankind up in a cover and steals another win. Shamrock gets in the ring and hits X-Pac with a belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock puts X-Pac in a headscissors submission hold. A few refs run in to try and break it up. Mankind wants to get back in there, but Patterson tells him Mankind wants him in the back. Shamrock lets go, but X-Pac is hurt. After a break, Triple H is down at ringside to check on his buddy.

Ken Shamrock vs. X-Pac (Intercontinental Championship tournament final) The match starts with X-Pac still lying on the mat. Shamrock runs over and kicks X-Pac a bunch. Shamrock lifts X-Pac up and DDTs him. Triple H joins the broadcast team. He says X-Pac is the most resilient guy in the WWF and he’s faced obstacles before. Triple H says McMahon didn’t even call to tell him he was stripping the intercontinental belt from Helmsley. X-Pac fights back with a spinning heel kick and a bronco buster. Shamrock puts X-Pac in an ankle lock and X-Pac crawls to the ropes. Shamrock lets go, drags X-Pac back to the center of the ring and puts him back in the ankle lock. X-Pac starts to crawl, but Shamrock drags him to the center of the ring once more, and X-Pac taps. Shamrock is the new intercontinental champion. Mankind comes out of nowhere and slides in the ring with a chair. Shamrock leaves. Undertaker and Kane vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock So, hey, everyone in this match hates his teammate. See? They’re all glaring at each other.

The bell sounds and all four men fight. Austin knocks Kane out of the ring. Austin and the Rock whip Undertaker against the ropes and double elbow smash him in the face. Austin and Rock look at each other and Rock leaves, so Austin can start as the legal man. Paul Bearer walks to the ring and stands at the bottom of the ramp. Undertaker asks Kane why Bearer is here, but Kane’s back to not talking anymore so he doesn’t answer. Bearer, meanwhile, is watching like he fucking owns the place.

Austin tags in Rock and holds Undertaker, so Rock can get a right hook in. Rock sets Undertaker up for a People’s Elbow. Right as Rock swings his leg over Undertaker’s body, Undertaker sits up.

Rock kicks him back down and drops the elbow anyway. He covers and Kane breaks it up. Rock sets Undertaker for a Rock Bottom and Kane gets in the ring. Rock drops Undertaker to walk toward Kane, who gets back out of the ring. Rock turns around and walks into a chokeslam by Undertaker.

Undertaker tags in Kane and he beats on the Rock for a bit. D’Lo and Mark Henry walk to ringside and Kane tags back in Undertaker. He continues the beatdown and tags out quickly. Kane scoop slams Rock and elbow drops him. He covers, but Austin breaks it up. Rock ducks under a clothesline and DDTs Kane. The fight continues for a bit, with Kane and Undertaker tagging in and out, each isolating Rock and not letting him tag out. Kane locks Rock in a sleeper hold of sorts.

Rock fights back to his feet and lands a samoan drop, and both men stay down. Eventually, they each crawl to their respective corner and tag out. Austin and Undertaker run at each other and Austin lands the first shot. He punches Undertaker a few times and clotheslines him out of the ring. D’Lo and Mark Henry rip Rock off the ring apron and attack him! Henry lands a massive body splash onto Rock.

Undertaker gets back in the ring and big boots Austin. Austin falls back into the ropes and gets tied up. Undertaker lands a big punches to a defenseless Austin. Stone Cold squirms free and fights off Undertaker. Austin hits Undertaker with a Lou Thesz Press. Kane gets in the ring and Austin fights him off for a bit. That masked man who was with McMahon earlier runs in the ring and hits Austin with a fucking nightstick! He takes off the mask and it’s the Big Boss Man!

The ref disqualifies Undertaker and Kane. They don’t seem to care, as they continue to pummel Austin. Undertaker locks up Austin’s left knee while Kane kicks Stone Cold a bunch.

McMahon watches from the top of the ramp with a big smile on his face.

[theyearinrawview]

This Week In Pr(a)wview

After a brief stint in the hospital, Vince McMahon is back this week and he's on the war path. He's invited Stone Cold Steve Austin to the arena, but no one knows why. He's stripped Triple H of his Intercontinental Championship belt and created a one-night tournament to determine the knew champion. He hasn't told anyone who is in the tournament.

We'll give you one name to get you excited: Ken Shamrock. Did things go well for him? Well, this is his happy/sad/angry/hungry expression, so we're not really giving anything away.

Tune in tomorrow for the full recap to see what went down.

[theyearinrawview]

[theyearinrawview]

[theyearinrawview]

Monday Night Raw: October 5th, 1998

The show opens up with X-Pac and Chyna entering the ring area, Jim Ross and Jerry “the King” Lawler calling the action. D'Lo is set to try and grab the European Championship from 'Pac, after winning a four-corners elimination match for the shot. He enters with Mark Henry at his side, and attacks!

European Champion X-Pac (with Chyna) vs. D'Lo Brown (with Mark Henry) for the title

D'Lo lands a big powerslam and follows it up with a leg drop. That pretty much sets the tone for the beginning of the match. While that's happening, Chyna gets served with papers!

Mark Henry laughs about it, and Chyna rips the papers up. X-Pac eventually makes a rally, and then fucks up by missing an elbow drop. He spends several more minutes getting slammed around the ring, barely holding on. D'Lo goes up for the Lo Down, and X-Pac gets out of the way! Both men struggle to get up to the mat, and then exchange blows. X-Pac starts making a comeback, and he lands a bronco buster!

Mark Henry trips X-Pac, who attempts to give him a cross body splash in retaliation. Henry catches him and slams him into the ringpost, then rolls him back into the ring.

D'Lo goes up for the Lo Down, and he makes the pinfall! D'Lo gets his belt back. Chyna gets in the ring, and stares down Henry and Brown. They leave.

King and JR promo the rest of the show. They'll go live to Vince McMahon's hospital bed; Austin will tell his side of the story on the WWF Championship screwings, Ken Shamrock will get his ass stomped by Kane, and the Rock will go one on one with the Undertaker!

They cut to footage of McMahon at the hospital, yelling at an orderly for not giving him apple juice.

Also, the Oddities played football. For some reason.

The Headbangers walk to the ring, unscheduled. They toss the ref and ring announcer out of the ring. They start talkin' trash at the Insane Clown Posse. They call 'em out, and the Oddities walk out.

The Headbangers want nothing to do with them if they ain't wearin' clown makeup! The clowns come out, and then convince the Oddities that they're totally wussy if they don't get the rest of the Oddities to leave. So, they send 'em away. And instantly get their asses kicked. A bunch.

The Oddities finally come out after several minutes of stomping, and then the Headbangers leave, right after yelling into a microphone “ICP, you suck!” So, sufficiently burned.

JR and King mention that last night on Sunday Night Heat, Austin sabotaged the feed from McMahon's hospital room to the arena, so they didn't get to do the interview last night like they'd hoped. The show takes a break.

When it returns, they recap how Austin was screwed out of the WWF Championship, and how Kane and Undertaker were as well. They both kicked the shit out of him, and that's where we are now, with McMahon in the hospital. His doctor tells him he's got a visitor, a really big guy. McMahon tries to yell at her to go fuck herself and not let anyone but his family in but … the guy walks in.

It's Mankind! And he brought presents! He hands McMahon balloons and some candy, and says he brought another guest who “really wants to see you, bad.” McMahon starts getting pissed, assuming he brought Austin, but Mankind assures him “it's a she!”

Mankind: “I brought you some female entertainment, and I think you know what I mean. She does a trick with a dog that you won't believe!”

Oh man! This is gonna be some fucked up shit!

It is! But in a totally different way! She hands him a balloon rainbow, and Mankind starts blowing a whistle in McMahon's face. It is amazing.

Mankind says he brought “one other visitor, another special guest,” and McMahon starts freaking out again. Mankind has disappeared from the frame. The guest enters the picture …

It's “Mr. Socko!” Mankind has drawn a face … sort of … on a sweatsock.

Mankind: “Say hello to Mr. Socko! Mr. Socko knows you've been feeling mighty bad, so he's gonna give your boo boo a big kiss!”

He pushes his hand onto McMahon's busted leg, and McMahon is done.

McMahon: “Please leave. Please? Damn it, leave! And take this crap with you! Take it out! Take it all out! Get out!”

The clown and Mankind leave. McMahon lays back, exasperated.

McMahon: “Mr. Socko …”

After a break, Sable joins the announcers. Vader enters the area. Sable says she wants Jacqueline's Women's Championship. Marc Mero and Jacqueline enter the area.

Vader vs. Marc Mero (with Jacqueline)

“Wrestling” happens. Jacqueline and Mero use dirty tactics to get an advantage, Jacqueline acting as a human shield multiple times. She tries to jump off the top rope at Vader, but it does nothing. It does distract the ref so Mero can hit Vader in the D. So, he wins.

Jacqueline calls out Sable, and Sable accepts the challenge. Mero stops her, and tells her she could never satisfy him, which is why she's upset. She slaps him, and gets tackled by Jacqueline from behind. Jacqueline cuts a lock of her hair and they leave. Sable is upset! The show takes a break after showing McMahon being a fucking bitch about getting his temperature taken.

Then, a promo for Steven Regal, who doesn't buy orange juice, he inefficiently hand squeezes like, fifteen oranges to get a single glass of juice! What an idiot!

Edge enters, and JR mentions that they found out that the guy who looks just like him who's been hanging around Gangrel and beating the shit out of him … it's Edge's li'l brother. Owen Hart enters, clearly not dressed for the match. He takes a microphone and says that when he saw what he did to Dan Severn (basically, he killed the guy), he saw the face of his wife and kids, and he basically apologizes and leaves.

After a break, Michael Cole chases Owen down and asks him what that means. Owen says “I'm done. It's over.”

Kane enters the ring. Shamrock follows soon after.

Kane vs. Ken Shamrock

They circle for a few passes, and then they send some moves at each other. Kane overpowers Shamrock, and takes control.

He tosses Shamrock around the ring like a rag doll for several minutes. Undertaker walks down the ramp, and then more Shamrock getting crushed. Kane gets up on the top rope, and Undertaker gets up on the apron. Shamrock runs and swings at him, missing the Phenom, but he hits the ropes, and Kane falls on his nuts!

Shamrock powerslams him off the top rope, and pins him for the win! Looks like Undertaker and Kane aren't doing too great anymore...

After a break, Val Venis enters with Terri Runnels. Venis says hello to the ladies, and then makes a gross pun. Gangrel enters, joined by Christian, Edge's younger brother.

Val Venis (with Terri Runnels) vs. Gangrel (with Christian)

They lock up and trade slams. Val Venis starts building up momentum, but pretty soon, Edge arrives through the crowd and starts yelling at his brother. Gangrel slides out of the ring, DDT's him, and then Christian joins him in stomping him. Gangrel gets counted out, but you get the feeling he's not really concerned.

Venis and Terri get something delivered by a bellhop (I don't know why), and then Goldust's music kicks off. Goldust says over the PA that that envelope is an invitation to his next movie, premiering on then next episode of Raw!

After a break, McMahon yells at his nurse and demands a new nurse. And painkillers.

Back in the arena, Al Snow and Head spin their way into the ring area! Jeff Jarrett is next to the ring. So, bummer.

Al Snow (with Head) vs. Jeff Jarrett

They go back and forth for a bit, and then Commissioner Slaughter enters the area. He talks to the referee while Snow kicks the shit out of Jarrett on the other side of the ring. He crawls over to sneak up on Slaughter, but Jarrett hits him with a chair from behind, and it ain't lookin' good for this guy anymore.

He fights back though, and grabs Head. He goes up top, but Slaughter shakes the rope and causes Snow to land on his nuts! The ref sees it, and gives Snow the match!

After a break, Road Dogg walks to the ring with X-Pac and Chyna, and a blow up doll. He says the doll is playing the part of Billy Gunn for the night. He wears both Tag Team Championship belts at once, and it looks like Billy Gunn and he won't be patching anything up soon.

Mark Henry walks to the ring with D'Lo. King looks at the papers Chyna was served with earlier, and it's a lawsuit against Chyna for sexual harassment. That is … amazing.

Road Dogg Jesse James (with X-Pac & Chyna) vs. Mark Henry (with D'Lo Brown)

They go at it, and Road Dogg makes a strong showing against the monster that is Mark Henry. But a strong showing against that guy still involves getting shit stuffing knocked out of you for a bit, and that's what happens. D'Lo helps out.

So Chyna socks him one, and while the ref tells her not to do that (for some reason), X-Pac slams Mark Henry's face into the mat, and Road Dogg steals the pin!

Mark Henry recovers and chases after D-X with a chair. They cut back to McMahon's hospital room, and in a few seconds, Austin runs in dressed as an orderly and beats the shit out of McMahon!

Yaaaaaaaay! He punches him in the face a shitload, pounds on his leg, and hits him with a bedpan! He shocks him with the defibrillator, and it's amazing! AND THEN HE SHOVES AN IV UP MCMAHON'S ASS!

Everyone, wrestling is complete. The feed cuts out after that, and the show takes a break. The Rock enters the ring, and then so does the Undertaker.

The Rock vs. the Undertaker

Undertaker immediately takes command. Mark Henry and D'Lo arrive, and Undertaker and the Rock take it outside. Kane enters soon, and the Rock gets distracted.

And chokeslammed. D'Lo and Henry are scared off by Kane, and Undertaker continues working the Rock. Rock makes some moves for control, but he can't maintain, and they battle outside. And by battle, I mean Rock eats shit.

They continue, Rock getting shut down left and right, and Kane just watches. Rock tries some trick pins, and they don't work, because it's the Undertaker. Rock lands a big move, and then another, and then another! He goes for the People's Elbow, and then he hits it!

And then the Undertaker pokes him in the eye. But Rock keeps going! He accidentally throws the Undertaker into the ref, and then the both clothesline each other to the mat. Kane sees his opportunity, and grabs a chair. Undertaker sits up first, and starts pounding Rock, then attempts to throw him at the ropes. Rock reverses it, and Undertaker eats Kane's chair!

Rock lands the Rock Bottom, but the referee is out! He wakes up the ref while Undertaker gets up, and Undertaker tombstones him on the chair! He pins the Rock, and that's all she wrote!

Written by David (Wm.) Murray with help from Adam Littman

[theyearinrawview]

The Week in P(raw)view

McMahon's been hospitalized, and boy is it amazing to watch. Moments after he takes a sip from that cup (which he clearly cannot lift of his own power), he screams at the doctor that "I want apple juice!" We'll get a full comment from the guy on tomorrow's episode of Raw, along with Austin telling his side of the story on the WWF Championship screwings, Ken Shamrock getting his ass stomped by Kane, and the Rock going one on one with the Undertaker!

That's right here on the Year in Rawview!

Written by David (Wm.) Murray

[theyearinrawview]

[theyearinrawview]

Monday Night Raw: September 28, 1998

Tonight’s Raw opens with a recap of Vince McMahon’s “master plan” which came to fruition last night at Breakdown. It also cuts in clips of Albert Einstein, John F. Kennedy and legendary college football coach Bear Bryant. The actual show opens with Stone Cold Steve Austin’s theme music. Four police officers walk out followed by Vince McMahon, carrying the WWF title, Commissioner Slaughter, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco.

McMahon: “Time heals all wounds. However, the next time that I say, ‘I guarantee you’ something, I bet you listen to me. And you know what? That’s all I ever wanted from Stone Cold Steve Austin. I simply wanted him to listen to me and take direction. We could’ve done this the easy way, Austin. Oh, but no, we had to do it your way. We had to do it the hard way. However, now, I’m proud to say we’re doing things the Vince McMahon way. And as such, Austin, unlike the last time that you lost the WWF championship, let me assure you, there will be no rematch. Let me repeat that: there will be no rematch. However, in a magnanimous gesture, Stone Cold Steve Austin, to show you that... [an loud “Austin” chant breaks out] what are you saying? To show you, Austin, that I don’t carry a grudge, tonight we will celebrate your career, Austin. I will deem, I will decree tonight Stone Cold Steve Austin Night. As a matter of fact, Mr. Austin, we have some choice individuals, I believe a professional welcoming committee, is here to welcome you to make certain that indeed you have easy access to and from this facility.”

McMahon: “However, that’s not the only reason for a celebration tonight. There’s another. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we will crown a new World Wrestling Federation champion. And that new WWF champion will be presented the official World Wrestling Federation championship belt. Not this one across my shoulder. Oh no, you see, this was a championship belt that Stone Cold Steve Austin had made for himself. Look at it, with the skull on it.”

McMahon: “There’s only one place that this championship belt is going, and that’s above my fireplace on my mantle in one of my homes. It will be placed there with all my other awards and trophies. So what about it, Stone Cold? Will you join us tonight for your own celebration? Will you, Austin, join us as we present the official WWF championship belt to the new World Wrestling Federation champion? We anxiously await your response.”

McMahon hands the belt to Slaughter, who puts it on McMahon.

WWF Tag Team Champions New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn) vs. Southern Justice (Mark Canterbury & Dennis Knight with Jeff Jarrett) (for the title) Gunn and Canterbury start things off in the match and Canterbury lands some big shots to Gunn, who tags out. Canterbury lands a big clothesline on James, who tags out. Gunn comes in, clotheslines Canterbury and dropkicks Knight. Gunn delivers a Rocker Dropper to Canterbury and covers him. Jarrett gets in the ring with his guitar to break it up and James runs over and kicks him. Gunn lifts up Canterbury and sets him up for a piledriver, but before he can hit it, James takes Jarrett’s guitar and hits Canterbury in the back, disqualifying the Outlaws but allowing them to retain their titles.

Gunn is pissed with Road Dogg, telling him he had the match won until James ruined it. Gunn shoves Dogg a few times and they get in each other’s face.

X-Pac runs out to break it up and tries to settle down Gunn, who shoves X-Pac away. He accidentally, or not, hits X-Pac’s bandaged eye, which was injured last night at Breakdown. Chyna wheels out Triple H, who’s in a wheelchair apparently, and Triple H tries to smooth things over, but Gunn doesn’t want to hear it. Gunn keeps trying to walk away and Triple H keeps grabbing his arm. Gunn rips his arm away and Chyna steps to him, so he bumps her on his walk up the ramp.

Backstage, Michael Cole is outside of D-Generation X’s locker room. You can hear yelling inside, but not what’s being said. Dan Severn vs. Owen Hart These two go at as soon as the bell sounds, rolling all over the mat punching each other. Owen lands a big piledriver on Severn.

Severn is motionless on the mat. Owen’s walking around wondering what to do. Pin him seems like a good option, but the ref won’t let him. The ref is talking to Severn. Even Owen seems concerned. Severn is telling the ref he can’t move his arms, according to King. After a break, Severn is being taken backstage on a stretcher by the EMTs. Vader (with Commissioner Slaughter) vs. Al Snow Vader dominates this one early. Snow goes for a kick, Vader catches it and Snow hits him with an enziguiri with the other foot. He covers, but Slaughter pulls him off. With the ref’s back turned, Snow hits Vader with Head and covers for the win! Edge vs. Droz vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown vs. Gangrel vs. Marc Mero (six-man elimination match to determine the number one contender for the European title) So two men are in the ring at once, you can tag in anyone and once you’re eliminated you’re out, but the match continues. Edge and Gangrel start things off in the ring. Edge rolls up Gangrel and eliminates him quickly. D’Lo enters next and hits a spinning heel kick. A very loud “D’Lo sucks” chant breaks out. D’Lo delivers a huge knee drop to Edge, turns to the crowd and yells “Who sucks now?” A few people yell back, “You!” Edge tags in Droz, who hits a clothesline on D’Lo. D’Lo tags in Jarrett, and Droz suplexes him into the ring. Jarrett drop kicks Droz. Droz clotheslines Jarrett out of the ring and two fight out there for a while. Jarrett and Droz are both eliminated after being counted out. Mero and Edge get in the ring. Mero drops Edge and climbs up top. D’Lo starts shaking the top rope and drops Mero from the top.

Edge climbs up there and hits Mero with a huricanrana. Edge covers, D’Lo climbs to the top rope and frog splashes off it. Edge moves and D’Lo hits Mero. Edge dropkicks D’Lo out of the ring and covers Mero, eliminating him. Edge runs and jumps over the top rope, landing on Edge. They get back in the ring and Gangrel is at ringside again. He gets Edge’s attention and that other dude with long blonde hair from Breakdown is standing there with him.

Edge turns around and walks into the Lo Down, and D’Lo covers for the win. After a commercial break, McMahon, his buddies and the police officers all walk down to the ring. JR says McMahon is going to present the WWF title belt to the new champ, but who to?

McMahon: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment we have all been awaiting. We’re about to present the most coveted prize in the whole game to a worthy WWF superstar. This ceremony is a solemn one, to be conducted with dignity and respect. As these dignitaries stand before you tonight, it is indeed our honor and our privilege to bestow the World Wrestling Federation title to the worthy superstar.”

McMahon introduces Undertaker, who walks to the ring, and then Kane, who follows.

McMahon: “There’s no question, Undertaker, that both you and Kane deserve to be the WWF champions. The two of you single-handedly covered Stone Cold Steve Austin for the championship...”

It cuts backstage, where Stone Cold Steve Austin blasts through a chain fence on a Zamboni!

He drives right by the police officers, who chase him. He takes down a fucking light!

JR is going nuts! He’s yelling “Oh yeah!” a bunch of times. Stone Cold drives out to the ramp and pulls up to the ring!

He climbs on top of the Zamboni, charges the ring, jumps over the police and tackles McMahon!

He hops on McMahon and beats the shit out of him for like three seconds before the cops handcuff Austin and hold him back.

Somehow, Austin breaks free enough to drop McMahon and hop on top him while still cuffed!

The cops drag him off and hold him back. They take him up the ramp and Austin has a huge smile on his face.

Austin tells the camera he isn’t done with Vince, and Vince isn’t safe. The cops put him in a police car and McMahon catches up to him and yells to the cops to put him in jail. After a commercial break, McMahon is back in the ring with Undertaker and Kane to announce our new WWF champ.

McMahon: “If you recall, the deal was, Undertaker and Kane, you would get the title shot as long as you kept Stone Cold Steve Austin away from me. But three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me. So let me say this: you didn’t live up to your end of the deal, so I’m not gonna live up to mine. You’re gonna have to fight for it! On the next Pay-Per-View, Oct. 18, you two are gonna battle it out for the WWF championship whether you like it or not. And, by the way, since you can’t seem to keep Stone Cold out of your business and mine, good, I’m gonna put him in it. Austin is gonna be the guest referee. And, Stone Cold, Austin, I just hope somewhere your cellmate is telling you this right about now, because I’m gonna be there to watch him suffer the indignity of having to count one of you two monsters to the WWF championship. However, so that everyone here in this arena is not cheated, so that everyone at home watching Raw gets their moneys worth, in this ring tonight, you will see Undertaker and Kane in a handicapped tag team match against three individuals: Ken Shamrock, Mankind and The Rock. And maybe, just maybe, you can get it right. I’d like to wish you the best of luck. You know why? Because I think the two of you are gonna need it, because as far as I can go, it’s like dealing with the handicapped. One’s physical and the other’s mental. Good luck to you both.

AH! Everything is amazing! Except that last analogy. That was weird. McMahon turns to walk away, but Undertaker grabs him and the mic.

Undertaker: “You need to watch your ass because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, you’re gonna be the one handicapped. And that I will promise.”

As the two brothers turn around, McMahon shows them his frustration.

Undertaker sees, drops McMahon with a punch and climbs on top of him to beat him down.

Kane joins in.

Undertaker gives a few elbow drops to McMahon’s left knee. He puts McMahon is a leg hold and JR thinks McMahon’s leg might be broken.

Kane places McMahon’s left leg on top of the bottom two steels steps. Undertaker takes the top two steps and slams them down on McMahon’s legs.

After a commercial break, McMahon is backstage with his buddies and doctors. Brisco keeps yelling for an ambulance, but one’s not there yet. Faarooq vs. Mark Henry (with guest referee Chyna) Last night on Sunday Night Heat, Chyna apparently attacked Mark Henry backstage. Henry told her he knew she couldn’t wait to get her hands on him again. Henry also called Chyna his girlfriend on Heat. Henry walks out for this match and blows a kiss at Chyna. Henry powerslams Faarooq and covers, but Chyna won’t count. Henry lifts Faarooq up for a military press slam and Chyna gives Henry a low blow (because she wants to touch his dick, probably). Faarooq falls on top of Henry and Chyna quickly counts to three. Someone runs in the ring and gives Chyna an envelope. She opens it and reads something, then looks at Henry, who is nodding. She crumbles them up and tosses them away. Henry picks them up. Backstage, some EMTs are carrying McMahon into an ambulance. Thankfully, Mankind is there to try and give McMahon a quick drink.

Backstage, Michael Cole is with Ken Shamrock and asks about teaming up with the men he faced last night in the steel cage match. Shamrock says he doesn’t like anybody in this match and wants to hurt them all. He also, oddly enough, says he doesn’t like the city of Detroit. Speaking of which, Detroit’s own Insane Clown Posse are announced next and they come out with the Oddities. The crowd goes bonkers. Golga got a new Cartman doll.

Headbangers (Most & Thrasher) vs. Oddities (Golga & Kurrgan with Silva, Luna & ICP) Last week on Raw, the Headbangers attacked the Oddities and ripped up Golga’s Carman doll. The Headbangers team up on Kurrgan in one corner. Kurrgan whips one of the Headbangers against the ropes, and he’s tripped by ICP from outside the ring. Kurrgan jumps on him and covers for the win. European Champion X-Pac vs. Val Venis (with Terri Runnels) (for the title) If Val attacks only from X-Pac’s right side, he’s got a great shot at winning.

Venis scoop slams X-Pac and goes for a diving heatbutt off the mat, but X-Pac rolls away. X-Pac hits a spinning kick to Venis’ face, but Venis answers with a big boot. X-Pac rips his eye patch off. Venis hits a side Russian leg sweep, stands over X-Pac and does his taunt. Terri’s into it.

Venis charges X-Pac, who counters with a spinning heel kick. X-Pac lands a flying clothesline. X-Pac whips Venis into the corner and is about to charge him, but Terri trips him. He turns to look at her and Venis hits a fisherman’s suplex into a cover, but X-Pac kicks out. Chyna walks to the ring and shoves Terri. Val gets out of the ring to get between the two of them and X-Pac hits him with a baseball slide. X-Pac and Chyna stomp Venis, disqualifying X-Pac, but allowing him to retain the title. A bunch of refs break it up and hold back Chyna and X-Pac, while Terri checks on Val.

Terri and Val get in the ring to kiss and then something awesome happens. A familiar sound is heard and the TitanTron flashes that it’s time for a “24 Karat Pictures presents” graphics and the fans are on their feet and going nuts. Goldust can be heard from somewhere.

Goldust: “Hey, Val, I told you he was coming back.”

It’s dark and nobody knows where Goldust is, but gold is sprinkling down in the arena. Backstage, Michael Cole is in a room with a lot of wires to talk to Mankind. Mankind said both of his partners suck, but their friendship should overcome. Kane & Undertaker vs. Ken Shamrock, The Rock & Mankind (handicapped match) Shamrock and Mankind get to the ring first, and they start fighting! The Rock gets in the ring, and he and Shamrock go at it. Mankind jumps back into the action!

More importantly, someone in the crowd has a “Goldberg fears Hitler” sign. Well done, fan! He most definitely does. Also, anti-Semitic?

Kane and Undertaker get in the ring and break up the in-fighting amongst their opponents. They toss Shamrock and Mankind out of the ring. Those two go at it. The brothers double team Rock inside the ring. Undertaker leaves the ring, so Rock and Kane can fight. Rock tags in Mankind. Kane backs Mankind into his corner and tags in Undertaker. Mankind tags in Shamrock, who comes in, punches Undertaker, turns around, punches Mankind and starts stomping Mankind. Rock gets in the ring, hits Undertaker and clotheslines Shamrock. Undertaker pins right in front of Rock, who watches. Shamrock kicks out. Undertaker tags in Shamrock and clotheslines him. Kane covers, but Shamrock kicks out. Shamrock hits Kane with a hurricanrana and tags in Mankind, who clotheslines Kane and himself out of the ring. Mankind runs along the ring apron and summersaults into Kane. Undertaker clotheslines Mankind out of the ring. They get back in the ring and Kane lands a flying clothesline on Mankind from up above.

He covers, but Mankind kicks out. Undertaker tags in and Mankind fights back a bit, but Undertaker clotheslines him and covers. Mankind kicks out. Undertaker headbutts Mankind out of the ring, where Kane whips him into the steel steps. Undertaker leaves the ring and chokes Mankind with some cable. Kane grabs a steel chair and clocks Mankind’s heat with it.

Undertaker rolls Mankind into the ring and covers, but Mankind puts his leg on the rope. Kane tags in and Mankind lands a DDT. He starts to crawl to his corner, but Kane gets up and stops him. Kane drags Mankind away from his corner and tags in Undertaker, who kicks Mankind around a little bit, and tags Kane back in. Again, Mankind finds the strength to DDT Kane. Both men drop to the mat and don’t get up. Mankind crawls to his corner and tags in Rock. Kane tags in Undertaker, and Rock meets him in the center of the ring with a few punches and a DDT. Rock hits a People’s Elbow on Undertaker and covers.

Kane breaks it up. Shamrock gets in the ring and fights Kane in the corner. Mankind and Rock fight Undertaker in the ring. Kane and Shamrock take their fight outside the ring. Mankind gets back in his corner, and Rock tags him in. Shamrock gets back on the ring apron. Mankind takes Undertaker over to his corner, throws his face into Shamrock’s knee and tags in Shamrock. Shamrock rolls Undertaker into an ankle lock, but Kane breaks it up. Shamrock and Mankind fight Kane outside the ring. Inside, Rock hits Undertaker with a Rock Bottom!

Rock covers for the win! He leaves the ring, Kane gets back in it and Undertaker looks at him as if to say, “Where the fuck were you just now?”

The two go nose-to-nose and this one’s over.

[theyearinrawview]

This Month In Pay-Per-View: Breakdown

Welcome to our latest Pay-Per-View recap. We’re coming to you today from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada with announcers Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler. JR and Lawler briefly talk about tonight’s main event, a triple threat match for the WWF title where Stone Cold Steve Austin will defend his title against Kane and Undertaker. Vince McMahon said a few weeks ago that to win the title, Kane and Undertaker can’t pin each other, but must pin the champ. JR says that McMahon also just added another stipulation: if anyone interferes on behalf of Stone Cold, he’ll be stripped of his title. But that’s not until much later. Tonight’s matches officially kick off with two Canadians going at it. Edge vs. Owen Hart Owen is wearing a Toronto Argonauts jersey, but the fans still chant “nugget” at him. He doesn’t like it.

This one starts with both men showing off their athleticism, as they both flip over to break out of submission holds. Owen lands a takeover. Edge turns things around with a drop toe hold. He clotheslines Owen out of the ring and lands a baseball slide under the ropes. Edge goes for a body splash off the ropes, but Owen catches him in a powerslam. Edge is in control, and lands a scoop slam and DDT. He covers, but Owen kicks out. Edge goes for a suplex, but Owen slides out of the back of it and hits Edge with a belly-to-back suplex into a cover, but Edge kicks out. Owen goes for a sharpshooter, but Edge kicks him away, knocking Owen into the corner where he bounces off the turnbuckle and Edge rolls him up into a cover, but Owen kicks out. Edge hits a spinning heel kick. Some dude in sunglasses with long hair hops the fan barrier and stands at ringside. Edge looks at him with part familiarity, part confusion.

Owen sneaks up on Edge and rolls him up to steal the win. Edge leaves the ring and hops into the crowd to chase that man. Too Much (Brian Christopher & Scott Taylor) vs. Al Snow & Scorpio JR says that Snow and Scorpio were in ECW together. Snow has Head with him, which I think makes this a handicapped match, actually. Scorpio and Taylor start things off as the legal men. They spin and flip around for a bit and Taylor lands a fallaway pump handle slam. Head watches from the corner.

Taylor raises his arms and celebrates in his corner and Christopher rubs him down. Snow and Christopher tag in. Snow locks up Christopher’s arms and lands about six straight headbutts. Scorpio brings a chair into the center of the ring and the ref moves him back to his corner. With Taylor in the corner and the chair set up in the middle of the ring, Snow charges, jumps off the chair and heel kicks Taylor’s head. Christopher and Snow battle outside of the ring while Scorpio lands a huge splash on Taylor from the top ropes in the ring. Scorpio covers, but after a two-count gets off of Taylor. Snow scoop slams Taylor while Scorpio climbs up top, setting himself up for a moonsault, but before he can jump, Christopher knocks Scorpio off.

Too Much goes for a double team move on Scorpio, who flips over them and hits a double clothesline. With the ref’s back turned, Snow gets in the ring and hits everyone with head, including Scorpio. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Taylor for the win. Backstage, Michael Cole is with Undertaker and Kane, and asks them how they’ll figure out which of them is to win the title belt in their main event triple threat match. Undertaker says they’re going to destroy Austin and they have an understanding as to who will win the belt. Marc Mero (with Jacqueline) vs. Droz Droz drops Mero early, and Mero leaves the ring and starts walking up the ramp with Jacqueline. Droz catches up to them, punches Mero and brings him back to ringside.

With Mero standing against the ropes, Droz charges and Mero ducks and lifts Droz over the ropes and outside the ring. With Droz at ringside, Mero runs, flips over the top rope and lands on Droz’s shoulders. Back in the ring, Droz takes over with an inverted atomic drop and a powerslam. Droz covers, but Jacqueline puts Mero’s left foot on the rope to break it up. Mero undoes some of the tape on his hands and chokes Droz. The ref breaks it up and talks to Mero about it in the corner. Droz stands up and with the ref’s back turned, Jacqueline jumps off the top ropes and hits Droz with one of her high heeled shoes.

Mero scoop slams Droz and hits a backflip from above for the win. Vader vs. Bradshaw (Anything goes match) Backstage, Cole is with Bradshaw, who says he didn’t come here to wrestle, he came to fight. He says that tonight’s match will be survival of the fittest, not the fattest. These two take turns wailing on each other in he ring and Bradshaw knocks Vader out of the ring. There, he tosses Vader into the ring post and drags him over to the timekeeper’s table. Bradshaw clocks Vader with the ring bell.

With Vader up against a ringpost, Bradshaw goes to punch him twice, and both times Vader ducks, leading Bradshaw to punch the metal post. Vader whips Bradshaw into the steel steps, takes the top two steps and drives them into Bradshaw’s back.

Back in the ring, Vader hits a big splash from the top ropes and then immediately after hits a Vader Bomb. He covers, but Bradshaw somehow kicks out. Bradshaw hits an absolutely vicious clothesline and covers, but Vader kicks out. He hits another clothesline and yells at Vader to stand up. He does and Bradshaw hits a neckbreaker and covers for the win. D’Lo Brown vs. Gangrel Sadly, now that D’Lo is no longer the European champ, it’s announced that he once again resides in Chicago. This one starts off a bit slow with neither man really trying for any big moves or gaining any sort of advantage. D’Lo goes for a forearm drop off the middle rope, but Gangrel moves. D’Lo hits a big running powerbomb and covers, but Gangrel kicks out. D’Lo hits a suplex and covers, but once again, Gangrel kicks out. Gangrel takes over with a flying clothesline from the top. Mark Henry walks out to ringside. D’Lo whips Gangrel against the ropes and Henry pulls down the top rope, sending Gangrel flying outside. D’Lo distracts the ref while Henry bear hugs Gangrel and rams hi back into the ring post.

Henry rolls Gangrel back into the ring, where’s hit with a Lo Down. D’Lo covers for the win. D’Lo and Henry celebrate while Gangrel sneaks up from behind and hits Henry in the eyes. He then suplexes D’Lo. Sore loser.

After a recap of the triple threat match from Raw, Michael Cole is backstage with Ken Shamrock. He says he’ll do whatever it takes to win the title. Dok Hendrix is with The Rock, who says the other two guys have sugar in their testes and calls the cage the “people’s cage.” Kevin Kelly is a shadowy room and asks Mankind what he’s looking for in high school and Mankind says he’s looking for an end of world hunger, which he doesn’t think will happen during the match. He says the people’s elbow is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen and he won’t lay down to sell it. He talks some shit about Shamrock too. The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Mankind (cage match to determine the number one contender) This match can be won by escaping the cage, pinfall or submission. Shamrock and Rock go at it immediately while Mankind hangs back. Mankind tries to exit the cage within the first minute, but Rock stops him. The match mostly goes one man fights the other while the third is on the mat somewhere. That is, until Shamrock puts Mankind is an abdominal stretch and Rock sneaks up on Shamrock to lock him in an abdominal stretch as well.

Shamrock hip tosses Rock off and Mankind hip tosses Shamrock off. Shamrock drops both men to the mat and heads for the door. He gets caught up in the ropes and Rock stops him. Shamrock tries to crawl away from Rock and out of the cage, but Mankind runs over and helps Rock drag him back in the ring. Rock and Mankind team up on Shamrock, stomping him out a bit and then throwing him into the side of the cage. Rock turns on Mankind and stomps him a bit in the corner. Shamrock and Rock team up on Mankind. Shamrock puts Mankind in the ankle lock and Rock breaks it up by punching Shamrock in the back of the head. Mankind and Shamrock team up on Rock and simultaneously put their foots on his throat.

Rock DDTs Mankind and Shamrock clotheslines Rock. Rock scoop slams Shamrock and Mankind and then hits a double People’s Elbow on them! Rock starts climbing up the side of the cage and gets his upper body on top of it, but Mankind and Shamrock both grab a leg.

Shamrock climbs on the cage with him, but Rock elbows him off. Mankind knocks Rock off. Rock low blows Shamrock and Mankind rushes at him, going for a clothesline. Rock ducks under the clothesline and connects with a Rock Bottom. He covers, but Shamrock breaks it up after a two count. The crowd breaks into a “Shamrock sucks!” chant. Shamrock ducks under a Rock clothesline and belly-to-belly suplexes him. Shamrock puts Rock in an ankle lock, and Mankind breaks it up with kick to Shamrock’s face.

Mankind heads for the top of the cage, but before he can make it over, Rock grabs his leg. Still, Mankind keeps climbing and makes it fully over the cage. Mankind has to climb down the cage and let his feet touch the ground to win. He’s holding on outside the cage, while Rock is up the top on the inside of the cage. Rock pulls Mankind back up, so both men are straddling the top of the cage. Shamrock is hanging out in the ring.

Shamrock runs over and starts to climb up the cage, but Rock kicks him off. Mankind takes Rock’s face and bashes it against the cage, sending Rock back down to the mat. Mankind sits on top of the cage and looks around. He climbs to the top and stands up. Uh oh.

He jumps off and goes for an elbow drop, but Rock rolls away.

Shamrock crawls over to the cage door and is halfway out, placing both hands on the ground. Mankind crawls over and drags him back in, but Shamrock grabs a chair and brings it in the ring. Mankind hits Shamrock with a double arm DDT and then with a chair shot to the head. Mankind starts making his way up the side of the cage. Mankind gets to the top of the cage and starts making his way over the top, but Rock slides on top of Shamrock for the cover and steals the win!

Shamrock is angry after the loss, grabs a chair and power walks around the ring looking for someone to hit. He doesn’t find anyone. JR and King bring us up to speed on the Dustin Runnels-Val Venis feud, which recently saw Venis start an affair with Dustin’s ex-wife, Terri. JR says he heard Dustin and Terri were trying to reconcile, but doesn’t look like it now. In fact, when Val walks out, he says here’s something he’s said a lot about Terri recently: “here she comes.” And out walks Terri! Her and Val really go at it in the minute or so it takes to walk down the ramp. Dustin Runnels vs. Val Venis (with Terri Runnels) Val finishes rubbing up against his opponent’s ex-wife and rushes the ring. Dustin takes over with a big powerbomb. He climbs on top of Val and punches him a bunch. Dustin leaves the ring, Val follows him and clotheslines him. They get back in the ring and Dustin whips Venis into the corner. He charges, but Val kicks him in the face. Val hits a Russian leg sweep, stands over Dustin and gyrates. Terri hits him back with a Venis taunt of her own.

Venis continues the beatdown. He drops Dustin and puts him in a sleeper hold. Terri watches on either in love or unaware of what the fuck is going on.

Dustin fights back with a DDT and climbs to the top rope. Venis runs over and punches Dustin before he can jump off. Venis sets him up for a superplex, but instead, lifts Dustin and drops him outside of the ring so Dustin’s face hits the ring apron. Dustin tosses Val out of the ring, where Terri helps him up and then lets him rub up on her. Dustin watches and keeps looking at Terri while Val sneaks in the ring and rollup covers Dustin, who kicks out. Val hits Dustin with a powerslam and the Money Shot for the win. Dustin is sad, probably because he lost, but also probably because this is happening.

Earlier tonight on Sunday Night Heat, Bad Ass Billy Gunn was in a triple threat match against the Disciples of Apocalypse when Southern Justice ran out and beat on Gunn. So that happened. X-Pac & New Age Outlaws (Bad Ass Billy Gunn & Road Dogg Jesse James) vs. Jeff Jarrett & Southern Justice (Mark Canterbury & Dennis Knight) Jarrett and Southern Justice come to the ring first, and D-X comes from behind through the crowd for the sneak attack to kick things off. Jarrett and X-Pac start things off. The two fought at SummerSlam in a hair vs. hair match, which X-Pac winning and shaving Jarrett. Road Dogg tags in. He used to be The Roadie and was Jarrett’s partner. History! Dogg hits an inverted atomic drop on Jarrett and lands a knee drop to the face. Jarrett tags in Knight. He tells Gunn he sucks, Gunn tries to get in the ring and ref stops him, allowing Southern Justice to land some double team punches to Dogg’s stomach. Jarrett tags in and keeps the Road Dogg beatdown coming. Dogg tags in X-Pac, who lands a spinning heel kick on Jarrett. Canterbury lands a huge clothesline on X-Pac and Knight tags in. He puts X-Pac in a crazy vertical suplex, where he holds X-Pac straight up in the air for a few seconds.

Jarrett tags in and powerslams X-Pac. He puts X-Pac in a sleeper hold and brings him to his knees. X-Pac fights his way to his feet and breaks out of it. He puts Jarrett in a sleeper of his own. Both men tag out, and Gunn drops all three of his opponents in the ring twice. Gunn gets tossed from the ring as a bit of mayhem breaks out and all six men fight each other. Outside of the ring, Jarrett hits X-Pac with a guitar.

Gunn jumps up, puts his leg over Canterbury’s head and drives him to mat. Gunn covers for the win. WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kane vs. Undertaker (triple threat match for the title) Kane walks out first, then Undertaker. While Undertaker walks out cloaked in those dark purple lights, Austin runs out behind him and lands a few shots!

Austin absolutely unloads on Undertaker, hitting him in the back a few times and even the neck with that chair. Kane runs up the ramp, and he gets a few chair shots to the stomach. Austin fights Kane back down the ramp, and get in the ring to officially start this one up. Kane and Austin battle it out for about a minute, as Undertaker slowly walks to ringside. He gets there and fights Austin outside the ring. Austin viciously whips Undertaker into the steel steps. Undertaker’s knees really hit the steps hard and a guy in the crowd yells out, “Are you okay, Undertaker?” With Undertaker out of the ring, Austin hits the Stone Cold Stunner on Kane and covers, but Undertaker rips Austin off Kane and out of the ring. Austin hits a Lou Thesz press on Undertaker and punches him in the head a bunch. He gets up and clotheslines Kane out of the ring. Austin and Undertaker go at it in the ring and Undertaker whips Austin against the ropes. Kane trips Austin and drags him outside. Undertaker leaves the ring, runs up behind them and goes to punch Austin, who is partially bent over. Undertaker drops Austin, but also punches his brother slightly. They stare at each other.

Austin runs up behind Undertaker and shoulders him into Kane. Austin takes some cable and chokes Kane. Undertaker finds some cable and chokes Austin. Undertaker and Kane lift Austin up and drop him face-first onto the Spanish announcers’ table. They get back in the ring and Austin fends off the brothers with a few kicks. They power through and beat on Austin, though. Commissioner Slaughter, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco walk out and watch from the top of the ramp. All three men exit the ring and fight up the ramp. Austin goes to piledrive Undertaker, but he counters by flipping Austin over his shoulder onto the concrete floor. Austin stumbles around until he’s back on the ramp, he sees Brisco, tackles him and starts punching Brisco. Slaughter starts kicking Austin, and Kane and Undertaker run over, and kick Austin as well. Kane and Undertaker start to drag Austin’s limp body toward the ring.

Back in the ring, Austin somehow fights back. He kicks Undertaker a bunch, backs Kane into the corner and stomps him out, turns around and delivers a series of punches to Undertaker. Austin gets out of the ring, as does Undertaker. The ref says something to Undertaker, turning his back on Kane in the ring. Austin grabs a chair and his Kane with it from ringside. Austin slides in the ring and covers Kane, but Undertaker grabs the chair, gets in the ring and hits Austin in the back with the chair. Undertaker covers Austin and ... Kane rips his brother off? There’s some trouble within the family, it seems.

Undertaker and Kane go back to double teaming Austin. Undertaker lifts Austin and holds his upper body while laying his legs on the ropes. Kane jumps onto Austin’s back from the top rope and covers. Undertaker rips Kane off. They get in each other’s face and Kane turns to get back to work on Austin. Undertaker hits his brother from behind! Kane and Austin trade punches on Undertaker! They double whip Undertaker against the ropes, and Kane big boots his brother. Austin clotheslines Undertaker over the top ropes. Austin chokes Kane for a bit. Undertaker gets back in the ring and drops Austin. He knocks Austin out of the ring, and the two brothers talk things out for a bit. Kane leaves the ring and attacks Austin a bit. They seem to have things figured out for now. Undertaker leaves the ring and joins his brother in attacking Austin. They roll Stone Cold back in the ring and Kane covers. Undertaker pushes him off and covers. Kane pushes Undertaker off. They get in each other’s face and Undertaker punches Kane. Undertaker and Kane clothesline one another at the same time and both drop to the mat. Austin sits up, sees both men down and gets a smile on his face. The brothers both sit up and Austin kicks each of them. They both get up and Austin whips Kane into Undertaker, knocking Undertaker out of the ring. Kane scoop slams Austin and goes for an elbow drop, but Austin moves. Kane lifts Austin up for another scoop slam as Undertaker climbs the top ropes. Austin slides out from behind Kane and pushes him into the ropes, knocking Undertaker onto his crotch. Undertaker gets off the turnbuckle and stands in the corner while Austin sets Kane up for the Stunner. Kane shoves Austin toward Undertaker, who big boots Austin. They double chokeslam Austin.

Wait, both brothers cover Austin!

The ref counts to three, but who’s the champ? The ring announcer says there’s a new champion, but now who it is. Vince McMahon walks to the ring and grabs the belt. He walks up the ramp holding the belt high.

Austin leaves the ring, punches Brisco and continues up the ramp. Austin fights off Patterson, Slaughter and Brisco on the ramp. Backstage, McMahon hops in a limo and leaves. Austin gets backstage and finds McMahon’s limo parked at the top of a ramp leaving the arena. McMahon is out of the limo, holding up the belt and yelling at Austin.

McMahon: “You don’t have it anymore. It’s mine. You don’t have it anymore.”

[theyearinrawview]

This Month In Pay-Praw-View

It’s time for another Pay-Per-View and this one, this one is finally going to be the one where Stone Cold Steve Austin loses his WWF title. At least that’s what Vince McMahon has been saying. For months, McMahon has plotted on how to get the title belt from Austin’s waist. Well, this month he thinks he’s finally got it in the form of two massive brothers: Kane and Undertaker. McMahon got the brothers to team up and he put them in a triple threat match for the title. There are a few stipulations, however. The main one is that unlike a triple threat match, to win the title, Kane or Undertaker must pin Stone Cold. Usually in a triple threat match, you can pin anyone to win. On this week’s Sunday Night Heat before the PPV, McMahon adds another stipulation: if anyone interferes on behalf of Austin, he’ll be stripped of his title. Recently Mankind and The Rock have attacked Kane and Undertaker, so this new stipulation should keep them away. Speaking of Mankind and The Rock, they’re involved in the WWF’s first ever triple threat number one contender cage match, along with Ken Shamrock. They had a triple threat with the same members last week on Raw to determine who would get a title shot, but McMahon, Kane and Undertaker walked out and things got messy. There’s also a six-man tag featuring X-Pac and the New Age Outlaws taking on Jeff Jarrett and Southern Justice. Val Venis and Dustin Runnels take their feud to the next level with an actual match. Canadians Edge and Owen Hart open the show, which is in Ontario. Monsters Vader and Bradshaw face off in a brutal anything goes match. Marc Mero takes on Droz and Gangrel battles D’Lo Brown. Tune in tomorrow to read all the results!

[theyearinrawview]

[theyearinrawview]

This week the WWF thought it'd be a good idea to have Dustin Runnels come out and guest announce a match between Owen Hart and Val Venis, who just a week prior debuted a film he made showing him having sex with Runnels' ex-wife, Terri. Also, apparently Terri and Dustin were trying to reconcile after splitting up last year when Dustin dumped her live on TV during an interview with Jim Ross.

Okay, we're all caught up. During the match, Dustin sulks and says Americans are dumb while Shane McMahon and Jim Cornette (our announcers for this episode) tell him to man up. They essentially tell him to grow a pair and not accept the massive amounts of disrespect Dustin is throwing at him.

So Dustin attacks, noticeably during the first portion of the match where Owen is in control and Venis is a bit out of it. As soon as he attacks, Owen shrugs and leaves. Venis immediately beats the shit out Dustin and ties him up in the ropes. He slaps him a few times and insults him a whole bunch more. Venis asks Dustin if he's ever experienced his wife feel "real orgasmic pleasures" and he says it real creepily.

Here's the thing I wonder in regards to Val Venis. He's been making his mark in the WWF this year, winning most of his matches and fucking people's wives. Do you think the guys get more offended when Venis fucks their wives and insults them because he has a weird lisp? Like, does that make it worse, or is it already as terrible as it can be?

Anyway, the Dustin Runnels-Val Venis feud is off to a great start. Let's hope they keep it up and Venis starts making videos where he's just like, having tea parties with Runnels' young daughter. Like, actual tea parties. Not a sex thing. Because she's like seven-years-old.

[theyearinrawview]

Monday Night Raw: September 21st, 1998

The show opens up with the Rock entering the ring to join Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and Vince McMahon. Jim Cornette and Shane McMahon – son of Vince McMahon – are calling the show, for some reason, and it's comin' out of Sacramento, California. Cornette says this group of wrestlers has interfered in McMahon's “master plan” so McMahon has called them into the ring to see if he can prevent them from doing that any more.

McMahon: “Let me just say this: Stone Cold Steve Austin, if you are contemplating rushing this ring and savagely attacking me, Vince McMahon, you better think again!”

Vince gestures toward the entrance, where Undertaker and Kane have appeared. McMahon gets down to business.

McMahon: “Everyone knows that this Sunday on Pay-Per-View in the triple threat match for the WWF Championship that I have guaranteed that Stone Cold Steve Austin will no longer be the WWF Champion! And if you three gentlemen will listen for a moment, I'm about to guarantee all three of you an opportunity of a lifetime. But before I do, I would like to also further state that I have ordered Austin, just to give you some idea as to what's gonna happen this Sunday when Austin faces Undertaker and Kane, Austin, I know you can hear me. Let's give these fans a treat. Austin, you and some other volunteer who wants to join you, will have to face the most devastating duo in WWF history, the Undertaker and Kane, here tonight!”

McMahon: “Now gentlemen, I've asked you, all three, to come before us tonight to make certain that neither one of the three of you volunteer to be Stone Cold's partner. [To Mankind] Now, I know you've been there before. I'm not asking for any favors, because I don't ask for favors. I'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime, and I do that real well. I give opportunities. And what's the opportunity? It's real simple. Why should you settle for anything less than what Kane and Undertaker want? What they want is the WWF Championship. Why should you be allies against a common enemy, when in fact all three of you should have a common goal no less lofty than their goal as well? I would be proud if one of the three of you became the World Wrestling Federation Champion. And I can guarantee you that opportunity, just like I can guarantee you that after this Sunday, Austin will no longer be the World Wrestling Federation Champion. All I'm asking [is] that here tonight, you don't volunteer to be Austin's partner. You take care of your own business. The hell with Stone Cold Steve Austin!”

The audience is not happy with this. McMahon speaks to each man individually to try and tempt them a bit more on a personal level. He then also insults them.

McMahon: “So, Rock, if you smell what Vince McMahon is cooking, you'll listen up, 'cause you damn sure don't want this smackdown. And Shamrock, you may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer as far as I'm concerned, but you're damn sure the most dangerous. And Mankind, Mick … nevermind. What I'm saying is tonight, the opportunity is: for one of you to be the number one contender, all you have to do is compete in this ring in a triple threat match, just like we're gonna have this Sunday, and the winner of the triple threat match will face the new WWF Champion right here in this ring, one week from tonight! … I'll even volunteer to be the guest ring announcer one week from tonight!”

Big shit goin' down, you guys! The show takes a break. When it returns, the New Age Outlaws make their entrance with X-Pac. Billy Gunn is set to compete, and he starts yelling into a microphone. He does Road Dogg's shtick, since Road Dogg's throat was injured last week, and Road Dogg holds up cue cards, since Billy Gunn is retarded and can't remember one of the most memorable bits in the history of wrestling.

Jeff Jarrett enters the area joined by Southern Justice. He gets in the ring, and we're set to go.

Bad Ass Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Sotuhern Justice and Road Dogg and X-Pac get sent to the locker room, and Gunn attacks Jarrett as he yells at Road Dogg on the outside. They go back and forth, and each on lands some solid moves on the other. Gunn's power seems to give him an early advantage, but Jarrett's speed starts paying off, and he lands a solid lead. He takes Gunn to the outside, and slams him into everything.

Jarrett continues stomping him, and Cornette mentions that the Women's Championship will be determined in a match tonight between Sable and Jacqueline. The only two women in the company. Gunn manages a rally, but then Jarrett dives out of the way of a splash in the corner. Gunn bounces off the turnbuckle and hooks the ref in the eye, so Jarrett immediately runs for his guitar.

The ref pulls the guitar out of his hands, and Gunn lands a neckbreaker on Jarret, for the pinfall!

Jim Cornette and Shane McMahon finally introduce themselves, but they still don't explain why they're announcing instead of Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

They throw it to the backstage area, where Michael Cole asks Vince McMahon who he thinks would volunteer to be Austin's partner if Rock, Mankind, and Shamrock take him up on his offer. He says he can't think of who would actually do it, but Austin'll be in the ring with Kane and Undertaker tonight, “partner or no partner.” The show takes a break.

When it comes back, Austin's hittin' the ring!

Austin: “So I guess things are startin' to look pretty bad for Stone Cold Steve Austin, because you got the Undertaker and you got Kane back here makin' deals with Vince McMahon! Undertaker, you come out here and you tell me it's not personal, it's strictly business. Let me tell you somethin', ya big dead bastard, if you're tryin' to take this … “

Austin: “ … from Stone Cold Steve Austin, yer damn right, it is personal, and that's all I got to say about that! Vince, you come out here and you make your stipulations that Kane can't pin the Undertaker, and the Undertaker can't pin Kane … now that's the biggest load of crap you ever said out here! I'm not gonna come out here and piss and moan and cry like a little crybaby. I'll come out here and give you my opinion: it's bullshit! So, tonight, I come out here in this ring, and someone back there is supposed to volunteer to help Stone Cold Steve Austin in a tag match against the Undertaker and Kane! And I know nobody back there wants to volunteer to help Steve Austin out, because they're afraid they're gonna piss off Vince McMahon. So it don't matter if someone shows up or not, I'll come out in this ring and take both of your asses on because I don’t really give a rats ass how big and bad you really are, there ain't no way yer finishing off Stone Cold Steve Austin. And to wrap things up I will say this. Goin' in to the pay per view six days out, a triple threat match, you can bet your ass that if Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna go into hell against Undertaker and Kane, don't expect Austin 3:16 to show up, but what you can expect is Austin 666 and that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so!”

Hoo boy! Austin leaves. The Headbangers enter the ring. The Oddities follow it up, minus the Insane Clown Posse this week. The audience still welcomes them pretty warmly. The Headbangers join in with the hand waving and dancing, and also spray silly string everywhere. It's a mess.

And then they spray it in the Oddities' faces! What jerks! They disable Giant Silva and Kurrgan with the spray, and beat the shit out of Golga, ripping apart his Cartman doll! No!

They start choking Golga, and continue attacking all the Oddities. They celebrate their victory, and I guess the match isn't even happening. They just leave the area.

Shane: “This is the 90's! Anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation!”

Thanks, Shane! Backstage, Michael Cole asks Undertaker to comment. He tells Austin that he should be worried about their match. Because … they are going to wrestle!

A commercial, and then Sable enters the ring for her match. Jacqueline follows soon after, joined by Marc Mero. This one's the match to determine a new Women's Champion, and everyone's pretty concerned that it's actually a wrestling match. And Jacqueline has had one actual wrestling match, so Sable's prolly gonna lose, right?

Sable vs. Jacqueline for the WWF Women's Championship

They lock up, and Jacqueline takes the initiative. She lands a big DDT and gets a nearfall. Since that didn't work, she immediately chokes Sable on the ropes. Mero takes a turn as well. Which is pretty nuts!

Sable escapes and manages a rally, landing several clotheslines and decking Mero for good measure. She goes for a vertical suplex at the apron, but Mero grabs her leg and Jacqueline lands on top, turning it into a cover for the pinfall, Mero holding Sable's leg down for good measure! Wow, that was quick. Jacqueline's the new Women's Champion. Mero says they're going to Disneyworld. Fuck that guy.

After a break, Undertaker and Kane enter the area for the tag match against Austin and … someone? Austin maks his entrance, and Vince McMahon watches excitedly from backstage, Gerald Brisco and Hall of Famer Pat Patterson at either side.

Austin gets into the ring, and just as he does, taking his time so as not to get attacked going through the ropes, D-Generation X's music kicks off! It's Billy Gunn! That's strange!

McMahon flips out and yells at his stooges for not taking care of a thing that doesn't even make sense!

Undertaker & Kane vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin & Bad Ass Billy Gunn

They all go at it, Undertaker and Austin slugging it out, Billy Gunn and Kane taking it outside. Kane and Undertaker both take an early advantage, laying into their opponents. But then Austin blasts his way out of the corner, requiring a flying clothesline to shut him down. Austin can't be contained, and he lands a Lou Thesz press and lays into Undertaker's face!

Meanwhile, Billy Gunn has managed to toss Kane into the steel steps and get back on the apron. He tags in, and pretty soon, the Undertaker overpowers him. But he lands the rocker dropper pretty quick, and tags Austin back in! It's still a solid back and forth, and then Kane tags in. Everyone's fightin' real hot though, and nobody can keep control for long. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Gunn escapes. Undertaker hits him from the apron, distracting him. Kane and Undertaker capitalize, and it's no longer looking so close. He absorbs several shots, and several double-team maneuvers.

Kane makes a cover, and Austin breaks it, saving Gunn at the last moment. Kane continues to work Gunn, and Austin has to save him again, this time allowing Gunn to make a move and lay himself and Kane out on the match. Gunn crawls to the tag, and he makes it! Austin goes apeshit! He lays into Kane, and then Undertaker steps in the ring. Austin goes for the Stunner on Undertaker, but gets pushed away, so he just gives it to Kane instead!

He makes a cover, but Undertaker yanks him off, so Billy Gunn gets back in there and mixes it up with Undertaker. Kane gets clotheslined to the outside, and Austin follows him down there, but with Gunn alone with Undertaker in the ring, he gets chokeslammed! Undertaker makes the cover, and despite NEITHER OF THEM being the legal man, the referee counts to three! What a bunch of bullshit!

Kane and Undertaker lay into Billy Gunn, and Austin immediately grabs a steel chair from the ring announcer. He slides in the ring, and fucking annihilates Undertaker, and then Kane.

After a break, DoA hit the ring, and Southern Justice follows them in. Boy do I not care about this match.

DoA (Skull & 8-Ball with Paul Ellering) vs. Southern Justice (Mark Canterbury & Denis Knight)

They wrestle. Jeff Jarrett hits Paul Ellering with a guitar. I don't know if this match even ended. I think everyone just got bored with it.

So they cut backstage, where Michael Cole asks McMahon to comment on Billy Gunn joining Austin. He's disappointed in Gunn, and refuses any responsibility for anything the Undertaker and Kane do in retaliation. After a break, Al Snow comes to the ring to wrestle Commissioner Slaughter, for some reason. Snow grabs a mic.

Snow: “What does everybody like?”

Crowd: “Head!”

Snow: “What does everybody need?”

Crowd: “Head!”

Snow: “What does everybody love?”

Crowd: “Head!”

Slaughter jumps him!

Commissioner Slaughter vs. Al Snow (with Head) in a boot camp match

If Al Snow loses, he has to leave the WWF. Seems like they should've told us about this one in advance! It's a boot camp match, which means there are no rules. Which is the opposite of what boot camp is. They go at it, Slaughter using a belt to whip Snow, but soon Snow turns it around on him. He pulls up Slaughter's shirt, and slaps his back with the belt!

Snow grabs a chair, and swings at Slaughter, who gets out of the way causing the chair to hit the ringpost. Slaughter gets the chair, and daintily taps Snow on the head with it, getting a two-count. Al grabs the chair and rams Slaughter in the gut with it, and keeps it going. He sits the chair down, takes a running start, and jump kicks off the thing into Slaughter!

It's cool! Back in the ring, he goes up top for a moonsault holding the chair, but Slaughter rolls away and Snow eats chair and mat!

It's awful! Slaughter puts him in the Cobra Clutch, and Al fights it! He runs into the corner and Slaughter kisses the turnbuckle!Snow escapes, and grabs Head, but Slaughter puts him back in the clutch, taking him to his knees! Cornette wonders if he is drawing some kind of power from Head, as he gets back to his feet and clocks Slaughter in his Privates with the dummy!

Both men lay on the mat, and Slaughter takes off his boot. He tries to slam it into Snow's head, but Snow ducks, and kicks Slaughter in the Privates, which is probably worse the second time around! He picks up the boot, tosses it away, and then picks up Head, and clocks Slaughter in the face with it! He makes the cover, and wins the match.

Al starts to celebrate, but then Gerald Brisco and Hall of Famer Pat Patterson attack him! Scorpio flies in with a chair, but they escape before they take any hits.

Backstage, Val Venis tells us he has another video. A commercial, and the Rock cuts a promo. He says nobody tells him what to do, but he accepted because he wants the belt. He tells Mankind that though they may have “rubbed elbows in the past,” that he not only smells “like a piece of trash,” he is one! He says Mankind on his best day couldn't beat Rock on his worst. And he tells Shamrock basically that he's nobody. He plans to “lay the smackdown on [their] candyasses.” Surprise, surprise, a wrestler is confident in his wrestling ability!

Val Venis comes to the ring, and Dustin Runnels already sits at the announcers' table, almost crying. He says he's there to look at the man he knows for a fact is going to hell (for fucking his ex-wife). Val Venis says he and the president like their cigars dipped in “a little French liquor.”

Venis: “You know, La Whisky!”

Get it? It sounds vaguely like Lewinski!

Runnels: “Burn in hell.”

Owen Hart comes to the ring.

Val Venis vs. Owen Hart

Cornette tries to be Runnels' therapist, and it's weird! They basically try to goad him into attacking Venis, and also to not do that. It's complete nonsense. He attacks while Owen has a slight advantage, disqualifying Owen and then getting his own ass kicked.

Venis slaps him in the face, telling him to “turn the other cheek” each slap. He insults him again about how he fucked his wife, and then asks if he's ever seen his wife experiencing “real orgasmic pleasures.” He then introduces his next film, “There's Something About Terri.”

In the video she tells Dustin Val Venis has a bigger dick, while Venis eats her out the entire time. He leaves while Dustin cries.

After a break, X-Pac comes to the ring to face D'Lo Brown for the European championship. D'Lo enters, head waving like crazy.

European Champion D'Lo Brown vs. X-Pac for the title

They go at it, X-Pac using his speed to his advantage, D'Lo his power. D'Lo's power seems to work a bit more efficiently, and he gets an early advantage. X-Pac tries to power through, going for a bronco buster, but D'Lo evades, and Pac loses several sperm.

D'Lo goes for a moonsault, but misses, and X-Pac gets a combo in! He lands several knockdowns, and hits that bronco buster!

But D'Lo lands the Sky High, and that's gotta be it! He makes the cover, but only gets a two-count! D'Lo goes up top, but X-Pac catches him into a face-slam, and makes a cover! He gets the pinfall! X-Pac is the new European Champion!

Backstage, Mankind tells Michael Cole that he feels like the Little Engine That Could. It's awesome. He responds to the Rock …

Mankind: “On my best early-to late afternoon, I could beat you on your worst mid-evening! And I got news for you, Shamrock. You think you can put me in one of those holds? I don't know how to get out of a damn one of 'em! But it takes a good man to beat Mankind! It just doesn't take them very long. Have a nice day!”

Shamrock enters the ring area. It's a good thing they didn't ask him for a comment. Mankind's already there, and the Rock's next out. Here we go!

Mankind vs. Ken Shamrock vs. The Rock in a number one contender match

They all mix it up, Mankind and Rock getting some early teamwork in there.

But Mankind turns on Rock real quickly, biting his face! He gives him the Cactus Elbow, and then eats a baseball slide from Shamrock! Mankind eats step, but is right back on Shamrock back in the ring.

He slams a knee in Shamrock's face right in the corner, while Rock sits around outside, letting his opponents wear each other out. Shamrock lands a big side suplex, and the Rock gets back in to stomp both men. He gives Shamrock the People's Elbow, and everyone loves it. He tosses the schmuck out of the ring, and then gets DDT'ed by Mankind! An elbow drop to follow it up, and Mankind keeps it going by running into the turnbuckle and getting clotheslined. Shamrock yanks Rock out of the ring and sends a few shots at him, but he gets raked in the eyes, and Rock takes it to him. Shamrock throws Rock in to the crowd barrier, though, and then clotheslines him to the concrete!

Mankind tries to put Shamrock in a real wrestling hold and then go for the Mandible Claw, but Shamrock escapes and puts him in a sleeper hold! Rock comes up from the back, and here is a picture of a ham sandwich!

Mankind lands a double chinbuster! Kane and Undertaker walk to the ring followed by McMahon. Mankind gets Rock in the Mandible Claw, but Shamrock socks him away, and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex! He goes for the ankle lock, and then the Rock taps him on the shoulder, tricking him into thinking he'd won!

The Rock clotheslines him, and gives him the Rock Bottom!

Mankind breaks the pin, but then is dragged out of the ring by Kane and Undertaker, and stomped to pieces. The ref turns to yell at them, and they act like nothing happened.

In the ring, Shamrock and the Rock go at it, and the Rock lands a swing-around DDT for a two-count. McMahon looked excited about the cover, but bummed that it didn't pan out. Shamrock lands a hurricanrana, and then yells, and gives him a powerslam for a two-count! Rock tosses him outside and takes a break. Undertaker and Kane beat the shit out of him outside, and the ref is just like “hey, quit it you guys!” Undertaker and Kane get in the ring, and slowly walk toward the Rock.

He makes the first move, punching Kane and then immediately getting crushed! They double chokeslam him, and then they leave the ring!

They hit Mankind a few more times, and while they're preoccupied …

Yeah! Austin kicks the shit out of McMahon! He runs away before Undertaker can stop him, and it's fucking great! The show ends before the match ends, so … nobody is the number one contender?

Written by David (Wm.) Murray with help from Adam Littman

[theyearinrawview]

Everyone knows that this Sunday on Pay-Per-View in the triple threat match for the WWF Championship that I have guaranteed that Stone Cold Steve Austin will no longer be the WWF Champion! And if you three gentlemen will listen for a moment, I'm about to guarantee all three of you an opportunity of a lifetime. But before I do, I would like to also further state that I have ordered Austin, just to give you some idea as to what's gonna happen this Sunday when Austin faces Undertaker and Kane, Austin, I know you can hear me. Let's give these fans a treat. Austin, you and some other volunteer who wants to join you, will have to face the most devastating duo in WWF history, the Undertaker and Kane, here tonight! Now gentlemen, I've asked you, all three, to come before us tonight to make certain that neither one of the three of you volunteer to be Stone Cold's partner. [To Mankind] Now, I know you've been there before. I'm not asking for any favors, because I don't ask for favors. I'm giving you the opportunity of a lifetime, and I do that real well. I give opportunities. And what's the opportunity? It's real simple. Why should you settle for anything less than what Kane and Undertaker want? What they want is the WWF Championship. Why should you be allies against a common enemy, when in fact all three of you should have a common goal no less lofty than their goal as well? I would be proud if one of the three of you became the World Wrestling Federation Champion. And I can guarantee you that opportunity, just like I can guarantee you that after this Sunday, Austin will no longer be the World Wrestling Federation Champion. All I'm asking [is] that here tonight, you don't volunteer to be Austin's partner. You take care of your own business. The hell with Stone Cold Steve Austin! So, Rock, if you smell what Vince McMahon is cooking, you'll listen up, 'cause you damn sure don't want this smackdown. And Shamrock, you may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer as far as I'm concerned, but you're damn sure the most dangerous. And Mankind, Mick … nevermind. What I'm saying is tonight, the opportunity is: for one of you to be the number one contender, all you have to do is compete in this ring in a triple threat match, just like we're gonna have this Sunday, and the winner of the triple threat match will face the new WWF Champion right here in this ring, one week from tonight! … I'll even volunteer to be the guest ring announcer one week from tonight!

Vince McMahon.

Man, this dude's fucking out of control! Austin should really consider talking to the human resources or something, because it really seems like McMahon's not creating a positive work environment.

So, that's what goes down in the first five minutes of tomorrow's episode of Raw. For the rest of the deal, you'll have to come back here for our full write up, where we hope to make it comfortable and welcoming to you. Because we believe in a positive atmosphere.

Written by David (Wm.) Murray

[theyearinrawview]

Animated Gifs of the Week: Whoa!

Neither of these were expected. This one, because it's from some sort of bizarro world.

This one, because, I mean ... look at that shit!

Professor Gif, out.

[theyearinrawview]

Is That A Baby Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Nevermind the ultra creative title. I know. Just forget about it briefly, then go back to enjoying it after you read the following.

For the past few weeks, Mark Henry and Chyna have been circling each other like sharks circling prey that they want to have sex with. It started with a pretty sexist and really uncomfortable promo where The Rock and the rest of the Nation of Domination locked D-Generation X in their locker room so they could get Chyna all by herself in the ring. There, they insulted her, made her drop to her knees and just generally were terrible people. Rock at one point was like, I better kiss her! Then he was like, ew, gross. Mark Henry, you kiss her! Mark Henry licked his lips ready for some sweet tongue. It didn't happen, and since then Henry's still been waiting on that kiss. Oddly enough, this week, things took a big step forward when the two got physical. Yeah. He powerslammed her, which I believe is like wrestler for foreplay. I'm not sure.

Anyway, the best thing about Henry and Chyna's budding relationship involves their names. We don't want to combine them into one larger shitty couple name, though. No, their nicknames. Henry is known at the World's Strongest Man. Chyna is the Ninth Wonder of the World.

If these two had a baby, what would possibly happen? Well, we found a list of stuff we just so happen to have made up.

They give birth to Superman.

Their forces are too strong and an entire human can't handle such power, leading Chyna to give birth simply to a hand. 

The baby would be born WWF European champion. 

A peace would break out between the Nation and D-X, where the two enemies would join together, bound by this baby, and put their past behind them. It would usher in a new era of the WWF, a more peaceful era, where the Nation and D-X stopped fighting so they could set a good example for this baby by joining together to just fucking annihilate everyone else.

Triple H might get sad.

The baby would be a perfectly healthy, beautiful bi-racial bundle of joy.

The baby would block the doctor's slap and chokeslam him/her.

The baby wouldn't wait to be born, and simply big boot it's way through Chyna's stomach when she was just 30 weeks pregnant.

Mark Henry would teach the baby how to throw a baseball and Chyna would teach the baby throw a baseball even farther.

D'Lo Brown and Kama Mustafa would get into a huge fight over who gets the be the baby's godfather. Kama's argument is that since he actually changed his wrestling name to the Godfather, clearly the position is his. D'Lo counters by saying that while, yes, Kama's name is the Godfather, he's also a pimp, and pimps shouldn't have babies around. Plus, a baby would fucking love that head thing D'Lo does. In the end, Henry and Chyna choose X-Pac as the Godfather.

Neither side approves of the Mark Henry-Chyna relationship, so they try to hide it but are unsuccessful. D-X and Nation's war only grows larger, littering the world even more destruction and bodies. The two plan on getting married and running away together. While Henry is out, Chyna takes a nap. He gets home and assumes she's dead, so he drinks poison. She wakes up to find Henry dead, so she stabs herself. The baby moves into the Hart Family Dungeon.

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Finally, you guys. Finally. Since Dustin Runnels has turned into an Evangelist, it's felt like we've been building to him calling out Val Venis, the WWF's foremost cocksman. And we got it!

These two hating each other is great. Runnels calls out Venis for being gross. Venis comes out and makes some subtle sex talk and then debuts his next video, calling "The Preacher's Wife." It's very reminiscent of Venis' earlier work, which had a similar setup of Venis in a hotel room with a big lump under the blanket. That time, Mrs. Yamaguchi popped out from under the blanket. This time, it was Terri Runnels, Dustin's ex-wife, who he broke up with on national tv during an interview with Jim Ross (eight percent of marriages end this way, for your information). JR says he thought the Runnels were trying to work through their problems and get back together.

It's outstanding. In the video, Venis is smoking a cigar, which King calls "one of those Bill Clinton cigars," which is silly. Dustin sees the video and drops to his knees. Here's let take a look at it in picture form:

As if Venis' grin there isn't enough, he finishes off Runnels with an absolutely killer line:

Venis: I guess getting on your knees, Dustin, runs in the family.

Val Venis for president.

Written by Adam Littman