I've been getting a lot of weird dreams lately. I'm not sure when it exactly started to get this bizarre but it's starting to scare me. I used to believe I had this capability of controlling my dreams. Whatever thought that came thru my head minutes before I fall into deep slumber, whether it'd be a person or a scenario, there's an 80% chance of it becoming the dream that plays through my head while I sleep. Anyway, that's not the point. I just feel like I need to write or share this somewhere because I feel like I am about to lose it. My dreams started getting a bit creepy when I used to dream about the same things over and over again. It was always about me running away from something, seeing people's (who I am not close with or not entirely friends with) faces, and the worst part, death... Death is by far the most scariest thing I've ever dreamt about my whole life and it's not just one dream. I've dreamt a total of 3 deaths already... 1) 3-4 years back, I dreamt about seeing my best friend. The thing is, my best friend stays in Mnl and she usually comes home to Davao only when there's a long break. It was around August or September so it was quite unusual seeing her home. I just had to ask her why she was home so suddenly and so early... and then she broke the bad news. She said her grandma passed away. I woke up with a heavy heart that day. My best friend and I don't talk regularly, but we always make it to a point to communicate as much as we can when we have the chance. A day or two after that dream, my best friend suddenly called me. She just told me the heart breaking news of her grandma passing away. She cried to me over the phone and told me how she should've been there for her grandma if only she knew... I started crying when I heard her say that because I felt like I wasn't able to do anything to help her. I didn't bother telling her about the dream I had because I didn't think it was true. And until now, I still feel bad about not telling her right away when I had the chance. I guess I was just scared that she might not believe me. Fast forward to 2017. 2) There's this travel blogger/vlogger that I follow on Instagram. I think it's been a year since I followed him. I actually had a huge crush on him because he was so cute and I admired him so much because of how much he loves his family (especially his brother), and because of his thirst for new adventures. For a year of stalking all of his social media accounts and constantly watching the short clips he makes of his travels, I got to see the photos of his family, who his brother, sister and parents were and etc. I liked him a lot more when I realized how close they were. I ended up stalking his brother as well just to get more information about the cute blogger/vlogger. All that stalking lead me to know of the brother's illness. His brother had cancer and was currently confined at a hospital at that time. Despite his brother's illness that was slowly and obviously taking a toll on all of them, they still believed that eventually his brother would be able to fight off cancer. Exactly a month ago, I dreamt about both of them. I dreamt about them being in Davao and I got the chance to meet and hang out with them for a while. Suddenly, (I can't remember everything that had happened because it was quite a blurry dream) I couldn't find the brother. I asked the blogger where his brother went and he just told me with a gloomy face "He's already gone." I woke up, again, feeling so damn depressed. I didn't know them personally but I really admired both of them. Just a week ago, I just found out yet another shocking news. The brother passed away... I FELT SO BAD. ITS LIKE I WAS GIVEN A SIGN ALREADY AND I IGNORED IT. After I had that dream, I kept questioning myself... why, of all people, would I dream about them????? And it happened. I'm one of those "fans" who are truly heartbroken. 3) Now the last one I'm about to share to you lacks so much detail because I forgot most of what happened and I am not in any way close or in talking terms with the person. I also can't remember the exact date of when I had this dream... ANYWAY... In my dream, I saw this big guy. A big guy with a typical filipino/moreno skin. I didn't see his face that much. It was weird because I got to talk to that person in my dreams and at first I thought he was a bit too sassy for my liking until he loosened up a little bit and started to become comfortable with me. We were both enjoying each other's company until it got cut off. The last thing I remember was seeing him dead. The poor guy died in my dream... I woke up, yet again, feeling heavy. As I woke up, I kept wondering who that guy could be. I tried to remember every single person I know in my life that had the same physical attributes as that man.. I failed though, I couldn't remember anyone of the same qualities. Until.... 3 weeks ago. When I opened my Facebook account, I saw numerous sad posts about a teacher passing away. He was a teacher back in my school. I didn't have any class under him but I knew him by acquaintance. My friends and I decided to pay our respects to the teacher and went to his wake. When I looked at him lying peacefully in his coffin, I suddenly realized something.... THIS TEACHER, WAS THE GUY IN MY DREAM. He was one of the sassiest but most loving teacher in the entire school. I didn't realize it sooner because I wasn't really close with him... I honestly tried my best to keep myself sane afterwards. THAT'S ALL. I'm not hoping for any more of these types of dreams. I just wanted to let it all out because I'm being a pussy again. This is scaring the shit outta me!! PS: forgive me if there are grammatical errors, I'm too lazy to edit HEHE PPS: im not sure if this post actually makes sense. MKAY BYE
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