Things Fade

... a voiceless ugly duckling without wings can still imagine the sky // An experiment with poetry

[thingsfade]

The good thing is that I don't feel anything for anyone anymore.

The bad thing is that you're an exception.

[thingsfade]

A very short love story:

I found you,

but you didn't want me.

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I know that things will get better they always do. But if in exchange I have to lose you, I guess I don't want them to. 

[thingsfade]

stay as you are in that picture. don’t ever look away from me.

[thingsfade]

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I don't want to fall out of love with you I dread the day when I wake up and your face is just another face in the crowd and I don't dream of your fingers on my skin anymore

no, I don't want this

I want to stay in love with you I want your eyes to hold the truths of the cosmos, still.  I want you to be the most beautiful human alive, still.  I want to remember this feeling,  my heart full of passion and tenderness and sacrifice I want to remember this pain,

even if it holds no lesson.  I want to feel your smile scar my heart with marks that I considered unfadable, still.  I want to imagine the depth of your breath on my neck, like a wind and a storm from the desert, still. 

Love, stay with me a little longer.  Love, linger.  Don't let me go.

[thingsfade]

Live for that moment, before the illusion is broken.

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[thingsfade]

You are the one who always gets invited to parties because you're pleasant and you smile a lot you're smart but not too much, so you don't make people uncomfortable you're pretty but not too much, so you don't make people uncomfortable

you can do everything pretty well, but nothing perfectly,  so you're not "competition" and you can be wild, but you know where to stop so you're not "embarassement" you're like a bath of lukewarm water who doesn't like that?

When you talk about yourself, you have no merits so people think you're being modest all your ex boyfriends say you're kind and nice but in the end they all left you you've been around, everything was great did something actually impress you?

You were too responsible to ever start with self-destruction the girl all parents want, but wait! with flaws, so daughters can relate stylish, but not a fashion victim well-read, not an overachiever talented, but far from genial

but who are you? Tired of all the struggling, you forgot yourself every spiteful word you could have said, you swallowed so that nobody would be hurt so that nobody would get angry so that nobody would ever have to suffer for your actions 

and then when you lay down at night you wonder if somebody's ever going to find you if somebody's ever going to come around  and tell you "look! There you've been, all this time I kind of like you" and you will start counting all the flaws you've drowned inside yourself and they will say that they don't matter

isn't this a dangerous dream? so you also unlearned how to dream

because these are not thoughts for nice girls

(and what, if it never happens)

[A poem about nice girls]

[thingsfade]

OPERA

I wrote Opera between the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013. Maybe you won't like it. Maybe you will find it poin...

My new poetry book in English on Wattpad.

[thingsfade]

there's this place I go to when I write

there is nothing there, just me, the white paper, and the scenes playing in my mind

everything is quiet, like at the bottom of the abyss,  there's no light but still,  I'm shining.

No matter what happens; nobody can take this away from me.

[thingsfade]

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[ladycaos]

Sent From Electratype.