THINGS MY MUM SAYS

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[thingsmymumsays]

At least she understands facebook

Mum really wanted to find out if my adult cousin was dating a particular guy, which her dad had told her about, and asked me to go to her facebook page for her. Me: Well her relationship status isn't up, so I don't know. But he seems to be commenting a lot on her stuff, so they're obviously friends. And he posted a video. Its just funny. But yeah, they're definately friends. Mum: But are they dating? Is she going to move to Canada with him? Me: I don't know. Mum: Well, how do we find out? Me: You could call her and ask her. Mum: Well that defeats the point of facebook, doesn't it. 

[thingsmymumsays]

Well thought out home security.

Mum: Make sure you put the blinds down, and get the bins in so it looks like someone is home. People might rob us if it looks empty. (5 minutes later) Mum: I've been having trouble unlocking the front door so when you leave just leave the back door unlocked so you can get back in. 

[thingsmymumsays]

Food makes you Fat

Mum: I saw on the TV today that you shouldn't be eating too much protein, because it will make you fat. Me: Well then, what am I meant to eat? Carbs? Mum: Don't be stupid, everyone knows carbs make you fat. Me: So.... fats? Mum: NO! Fats ARE fat! Are you dumb? Me: So what am I meant to eat? Mum: ........Vegetables. 

[thingsmymumsays]

Today Affair confusing mum again.

Mum: you shouldn't be drinking water. it doesn't contain any electrolytes which you need. You should be drinking fruit juice instead. It's healthier.

[thingsmymumsays]

Grandad logic

Me: honestly, you'd be an idiot to drive and not put your seatbelt on. Grandad: only 1 in 3 road deaths are caused by not wearing a seat belt, so I rekon I'll take that risk.

[thingsmymumsays]

Minute Physics: Higgs Boson and Mass

This occurred while watching this video explaining the Higgs Boson. http://youtu.be/ASRpIym_jFM

MinutePhysics: You and I and Swiss cheese clearly have Mass, because we have the beautiful luxury of being able to sit still.

Mum: How does that prove the Big Bang? What a load of rubbish.

[thingsmymumsays]

Perth Drivers

Mum: It's raining, make sure you drive nice and slow so it's safe!

[thingsmymumsays]

Online courses

Mum: Why don't you print out all your research for all your units and then all your assignments and keep them in a physical file? It was pretty dumb of you to keep it all digital, I thought you were smarter than that.

[thingsmymumsays]

Driving

Mum: you can't drive a 4wd. You're a girl.

[thingsmymumsays]

Stretched Ears

I have my ears stretched to 6mm, and just walked in wearing new mother of pearl earrings.

Mum: Those are disgusting, it makes you look disfigured. Like some sort of dirty homeless person who can't keep their ears small.

[thingsmymumsays]

Relationships

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 years, since high school, but still both live separately with our parents. We just graduated from university last year.

Me: I'm going to (boyfriend)'s house tonight. Mum: You're not even in a real relationship. If you were you'd be living together and married by now. It's just some sort of arrangement.

[thingsmymumsays]

Cars

This was after the power steering fan belt came off in my car, and two bolts fell out. In the past few months someone has dented it in a parking lot, the central locking has failed, the headlights blew, the fuel filter needed changing and the AUX input on the stereo stopped working.

Me: I need a new, better car. Mine just keeps having problems.

Mum: Well some people wash and vacuum their car every weekend. They treat it like a treasure. They don't have the problems you do.