Might be controversial with the tumblr crowd but something that ive learned both as a teen on the internet, as an adult whoās done management & just worked a job, and through observation of other peoples lives and problems, if a person tells you that āEVERYBODY says (negative thing) about them and they dont know whyā, āeverybodyā is right, and they Do know why, and those words are your cue to become involved with this person as little as possible.
When my coworkers said he got fired from his last job for being late and that it was ātotally unreasonableā, i wasnāt surprised when he showed up 5-15 minutes late to every shift. When one of the people i managed last summer said that when she worked her last job everyone said she wasnt a hard worker and worked too slow and she thought it was unfair and confusing, I wasnāt surprised when she had severe performance issues. When my friend told me her new boyfriend said all his exes were crazy, i wasnāt surprised when he turned out to be the crazy one. When a boy at my college said no girl would give him a chance and he didnt know why, i wasnāt surprised when he was a misogynist. When one of my friends in early high school said everyone kept abandoning them and calling them manipulative and controlling i Was surprised when they were toxic and manipulative and controlling, and i felt extreme guilt for āabandoning themā and joining a list of people who just wouldnt stick around, but i learned, and it was a lesson that stuck. I dont feel guilty anymore. I didnt abandon them, i broke off the friendship because they were a hurtful, mean person who refused to change their behavior. I learned to listen when people say what their personality flaws are. A lot of the time theyāll tell you themselves. People very rarely dip from someones life without a word- theres boundaries crossed, explanations of hurtful behavior that are ignored to shield the perpetrators emotions and ego, the reasons are never missing, they just are ignored to fit a different, self victimizing narrative.
If everybody around you has the same problem with you, the problem doesnāt lie with everyone else.
