Hi there! It's you! Odds are you forgot that I wrote this so, surprise! I just wanted to let you know what I've done today because, hopefully, by this point you've gotten your shit together and your new years eve has been substantially better then mine. Yay! (I hope lol) So basically, I was up all night worrying about shit so I couldn't fall asleep until almost 5AM. So, naturally, I slept in until 3 in the afternoon. Good thing I don't have a job or anywhere to be! Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I was laid off 10 days before Christmas because I was still in my probation period at a new job because another store is being closed. The company decided it would make more sense to axe someone who they don't owe anything to then to give the other store staff severence pay. Makes sense, I guess. Still fucking sucks for me though. Oh yeah, and I didn't want to ruin Christmas by making everyone worry so I haven't told anyone. I've even been pretending to go to work during the day so our sister doesn't know and worry about how rent is going to be paid. I basically just bus hop, going back and forth from one end of the city the other, using all my scene points from my maxed out credit card to go see free movies and hanging out at malls and libraries, applying for jobs. Speaking of rent, I'm basically just waiting to be evicted. I wasn't able to pay this month, since that would have been all my money. Every car that stops infront of my building, every person that walks through the hall, I have a mini panic attack, just waiting for that knock on the door that kicks us out. I'm trying to get us a new place with the last of my money but I don't know how that's gonna work out. I did find a nice place (hopefully your sitting in it now, reading this :) but I'm worried that my landlord now fucked up my credit rating and I won't get it. In the plus side, I *may* have some sort of income soon. I talk to a previous job about going back pt and it seems promising. I also did an interview yesterday for another pt job. I think I killed it but the manager said she knew one of my previous bosses. That might fuck things you -I never had a problem with the old boss but she never really liked me either so, we'll have to see. Either way, I'm gonna keep looking, just to be safe. Today, I spent my afternoon shoplifting feminine hygiene products, shampoo, lip balm, toilet paper and coke zero (I hope you've stopped doing that btw. I'm one step away from being a hobo but that's still no excuse) Currently, I'm sitting alone on my ratchet, second hand sofa in a house I hate, terrified that it may be taken away from me at any moment, eating pizza and chicken wings, drinking aforementioned coke zero like it's going out of style, while watching Balto. It's not all bad. I've done a lot this year. As shitty as it was being laid off twice, it left me with a lot of free time. I spent almost 4 months of this year with just me for company so, naturally, I learned a lot about me. I learned that while you absolutely should enjoy your job and always do your best at it, your job shouldn't be your life. In the last few years, I forgot that. I did literally nothing but work. I drove myself near insanity and began having panic attacks. You know it's bad when, after you get laid off and as you're leaving for the last time you can't contain your smile and you start singing "Let it go" in your head for the next 2 hours. I'm going to get a new job or 2, pt and doing what I love and what I'm good at but it will not take over my life. I have started drawing again and learning languages again. I'm going to go back to saving up to move overseas again. I'm not going to forget about my dreams. After 10 years of thinking about doing it and wanting to, I finally dyed my hair and I fucking love it. I don't even know why I waited! I'm so done giving a fuck what people think, this is my life and I'm taking it back. As shitty was things have been this year, it's been integral to be coming to this realization. Yes, I am sitting here, stressing over my financial and living situation but, one way or another, I'll find a solution. (Worst case scenario: we crash with grandma for a while lol) Honestly, I'd rather be where I am now rather then still stuck in a job that was burning me out and I didn't even realize how much I hated. That really does scare me when I think about it. So yeah, that's how it is right now: it's 10:07PM in December 31, 2014. I hope, if nothing else, you haven't forgot about all the shit that happened in 2014 and, instead, used it to get what you wanted in 2015. I hope it was a good year. And of it wasn't, then I hope you at least learned something lol. Happy New Year!
prguitarman
ellievsbear
snowghoul
stormborns
titsay
jbbartram-illu
yousharknotpass
