Returning
Long time I didn’t write anything here. Absolutely forgot about my blog. Good that my computer remembered. I am alive. I feel weird. I mean more and more I feel like a hermit. More and more I feel that I am losing my ability to make friends and keep those new friends, like I am socially awkward. Result? I rely on my old friends who live far away and I can only communicate with them online or (in some case) over the phone. Am I depressed? Some times definitely yes, most of the time you wouldn’t even noticed. I feel that my lowest points in this situation when I talk to my sister-in-law or my aunt because of no one else to talk to. (FYI My sister-in-law never has been a friend of mine, at some point of our lives our relationship was kind of hostile. My aunt has those kind of political views I detest. Still she is the only one in the family who understands my situation in the family. She is the only one on my side, but only secretly. She knows them well enough to agree with me on my position, opinion in case of any family dispute.) Anyway I kind of freaking out recently for obvious and for less obvious reasons. This pandemic panic doesn’t help. That’s why I returned. I need to release all that stress I am hiding, suppressing before it would explode.
