Borderlined out of my mind @thishellbrainofmine - Tumblr Blog

maybe i’m just meant to be alone

This is so toxic, why am I doing this to myself. If I'm being honest I really should end this. Being in a constant state of "is she going to leave me or not" followed by "I'm still figuring things out" answers when asking for any kind of reassurance definitely just triggers the fuck out of my abandonment fears.... and reasonably so.

This is quickly becoming unworthy of my efforts, but hey at least I recognize that!

thishellbrainofmine

In the likely event that this relationship continues to fizzle after I spent 4 hours straight playing psychologist and doing intense emotional labor for my partner that is incapable of doing themselves when they broke up with me out of nowhere because they refuse to even attempt to be mindful of their emotions--I will be okay because I'll finally have my motorcycle that I've saved up for and that will be my girlfriend :)

cwote

:))

This is so toxic, why am I doing this to myself. If I'm being honest I really should end this. Being in a constant state of "is she going to leave me or not" followed by "I'm still figuring things out" answers when asking for any kind of reassurance definitely just triggers the fuck out of my abandonment fears.... and reasonably so.

This is quickly becoming unworthy of my efforts, but hey at least I recognize that!

ouc-h-deactivated20180811

dont lie to me to protect my feelings

It's funny how people can say:

"I feel the same way about you"

And mean:

"I'm really thrown off by you saying you're starting to fall for me after dating for 2 months"

And then spend another 3 months one upping me whenever I say I'm so happy/lucky/etc to have them in my life and then out of nowhere they decide to finally tell me they didn't feel any of that.

Dude what the fuck, why me? Please fuck off with your leading me on and communication skills of a fucking toddler. UHG.

Broken up over text too.

Actually go fuck yourself. You didn't have anything else to bring to the table of the relationship because of where you were at in life, all you had to give was your attention and affection and that's all I could ever want. All you had to do was be real with me to have a lasting healthy relationship with someone that cooks for you, does all your emotional labor for you, is there for financial support, etc. All you had to do, was be real with me. All this time I thought I had found someone that was on the same page as me because they either said they felt the same way or one upped me, I finally felt like I wasnt too much which is so damn rare for me. But it turns out you were just a fuck buddy that pretended to have strong feelings for me, and then you have the nerve to say you're shocked you hurt me so much.

Basic levels of communication in relationships people, if you dont have the fucking ability to do that DONT FUCKING DATE, YOU'VE GOT NO BUSINESS DOING SO.... FUCK.

I deserve so much fucking better than this and I am so incredibly disappointed in you.

Oh fuck

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and practically skipped to her car after I brought her out for brunch and hungout at disney springs. She’s so god damn pure. Boy if I let these feelings hit me I am gonna ;alkjsdwnf[o’ilakjmne]rktgmn;lvjsk,mndf’lkjnmg[a’seolikrjnmg ....FUCK

anxietyproblem

“I would never date you” Oh no! I’ll never have the pleasure of dating someone who got dumped for cheating with 4 other people on the “love of my life” and “the man I’m gonna marry”. Get fucked with a rusty spoon xD

cash4mould

Therapist: you know, not everything is your fault.

Me:?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? That… That just doesn’t make any sense.