Read Undoing Suicidism @thisis-suicidism - Tumblr Blog

Hello, World!

Blog for documenting and discussing people's experiences with suicidism and related oppression.

essay || book || plain-language article || non-carceral crisis resources

also working on our own non-carceral suicide resources masterpost with other stuff in it.

inspired by: @this-is-alterhumisia @this-is-pluralphobia @this-is-transandrophobia @thisis-aphobia (tell me if you don't want to be on this post)

Suicidism is the form of systemic oppression faced by suicidal people. in includes suicidal people being barred from certain jobs and being seen as inherently untrustworthy due to being suicidal, traumatic psychiatric incarceration and abuse where any amount of harm is ok if it is seen as preserving someone's life, suicidal people not being given the chance to share our own stories honestly or participate in conversations about us, and much more.

Queue: 14 || Inbox: 47 (not always up to date exactly but we try)

rules:

no bigotry of any kind will be tolerated. feel free to talk about experiences with other forms of bigotry if they intersect with your experiences of suicidism, but displaying that bigotry yourself on this blog will get you blocked.

We have no dni and anyone is allowed to speak here, but keep in mind this blog is run by a spiritual system and is explicitly accepting of all forms of plurality. if you disagree you may interact, but leave your syscourse at the door when you enter.

please don't describe specific plans or methods of suicide that you have. do not encourage other people here to kill themselves.

people who are not currently suicidal are allowed to send asks/speak here, but we ask you to remember your relation to the subject. someone else's suicidality is about them and not you, and this is not a confessional for everything you have done wrong. we welcome you to talk about this with us, but this space exists to centre people who are (or were) suicidal.

do not censor yourself. say the words. terms like "unalive" "sewerslide" etc are banned unless you are discussing the ways people use these terms rather than using them yourself. trigger warnings will be tagged as needed by yours truly. and of course feel free to block us if the topic of suicide is too triggering for you.

we value accessibility highly so feel free to tell of if there's some way we could improve in that regard! you may also feel free to correct our spelling.

#this is suicidism is for discussion of suicidism. and #not suicidism for off-topic posts.

claimed anon sign-offs:

-🐕🍀 - 🎠

about the mod under the cut!

#heyy Rabid this is the blog we sent that ask about!#suicidism #anti psych #mad pride #mad liberation #psych abolition #suicide tw

I’m tired of thinking that being suicidal makes me irrational and untrustworthy. I have weighed my options. I have considered every possible outcome. I have made my decision. Rationally. I am not being impulsive. I should be allowed to make my own decisions about my life and my medical treatment. I am not a child. I understand the weight of my decision. I. Am. Not. Incompetent.

this is suicidism.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

spending months in therapy, on antidepressants, trying to talk about it with people but still feeling an incredible sense of shame and guilt over being suicidal because of how people keep reacting and talking or dancing around the subject with you

this is suicidism. Shame is common, unfortunately. We hope one day there will be a world where no one will feel shameful about it.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

my parents found my sh scars and acted like it was a personal failing on my part

and it feels like at any second my mums gonnna send me to the sych ward

this is suicidism. yes we have experienced that too. our mother told us we were too good of a person to be self-harming as if that made us a bad person.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

I believe this is suicidism though I'm not sure. I made a post on tiktok showing off a cologne my mom bought me because I had a really bad day. That was all the post was. In the caption I said that I had had a really bad day to the point that I had a moment of feeling suicidal again after not feeling like that for so long. I didn't go into any sort of detail just simply mentioned that I had felt suicidal and it got taken down.

I've had an issue with tiktok taking down my videos whenever I have my fully healed years old scars in my videos too but that's a separate issue. I wish tiktok took down actual harmful videos rather then targeting someone talking about their feelings :/

-🐕🦴[so I can find this later!]

this is suicidism.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

at school i get asked “why do you wanna end it” all the time. it’s like- i’ve only told my friends about my mental health struggles so clearly one of them are a piece of shit and telling other people my business, and also thats just so invasive and disgusting?? also the amount of people who’ve come up to me and told me that i’m a freak for being delusional? (yes, i am delusional. i struggle to differentiate reality from dreams and fiction). it’s ridiculous bro.

— 🎸 (he/him)

this is suicidism and sanism. that is terrible, we are sorry people say that to you.

@this-is-saneism

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

ik another anon mentioned films about suicidality but in terms of other rep, haibane renmei is also one i find to be much kinder and more humanising than the usual stuff you see + the writer was suicidal at the time so it came from a very vulnerable place

!!! cool!

#asks #recommendations #not suicidism

Going on anon for this, am I suposed to put trigger warnings in this ask? If so then TW: mentions of being suicidal.

Anyways hi, I'm Ginger, I'm apart of a (traumagenic) system of 3 (Me, Shadow, and Neru), and I have been suicidal since I was around 7~ (I am a teenager currently).

It is JUST me in the system who is suicidal, the other 2 are just fine, and honestly, it makes me feel useless sometimes. I have almost killed us multiple times because it just got too low, and that honestly hurts. They don't hold it against me, but they do treat me like I'm 9 because of this. It's just annoying, I'm tired of being treated like I'm a little kid because I'm suicidal. Just because I'm unstable at times, doesn't mean I should be treated like a child! I'm sure they don't mean to do this, but darn... I get treated like a child by the people I share a body with... it sucks. Not only this, but I'm suposed to be the cheery and silly one around people, which just makes me being treated like I'm 9 slightly worse! Whats worse is when I talk to our (all 3 of us) sister or my (just mine) friends about this, they don't take me seriously either!

I don't really have much else to say, I just wanted to confess this. I probably should've put this in a different place, but I put it here since it is because of me being suicidal.

- @ginger-shadow (Ginger)

this is suicidism.

yeah it can be difficult in a system like this since it is your headmate's body too and they may have (understandable) strong emotions about not wanting to die, but that isn't an excuse to infantilize or mistreat you. don't feel bad about talking about this here, this blog is for people's experiences!

it may require different considerations to resolve than a singlet but you deserve to have your needs and feelings respected by your system.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

I don't know if this counts but recently (few weeks ago) I had a breakdown at my school because of stress and I've been thinking about killing myself for a few weeks at that point so I told a counselor/teacher that I've been thinking about it.

She took me to a separate room (the designated calm space at my school, essentially a glorified broom closet) where I tried to tell her about what I've been so stressed about but she talked at me (at not to since I barely got to speak) about how I "should have told her earlier" and how "it won't get better in the future so be glad that the school has someone you can talk to about your problems because there won't be anyone like that when you graduate" and that my problems are meaningless and insignificant and that I shouldn't worry about them (all of that is paraphrased of course and roughly translated from my native language).

It really really rubbed me the wrong way and i don't think that I'll be talking to her about my problems in the future if this was her approach to a student walking up to her in tears and saying "I want to kill myself"

this is suicidism. telling someone that their problems are meaningless is not a good way to make them feel better, we are sorry you dealt with that.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

Does it count as a suicide attempt if it was a method that very obviously would not have worked and you just freaked out enough to try because you couldn't see it in the moment?

we would count that if that is a term that it helps you to use. We had some attempts like that because we were a small child and didn't know it wouldn't work. a suicide attempt is doing something with the belief that it will kill you. if you thought it could kill you/intended it to kill you then it counts

#asks #suicide attempts

Suicidism is the fact that System of a Down wasn't even allowed to call their song about suicidism "Suicide," and the severe censorship said song faced in the moral panics that occurred post-9/11.

this is suicidism.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

Once instead of isolating myself duing crisis, I actually did what everyone told me to do when it happens and spoke about.

I got to mental urgencies with my carers and got sent back with nothing because my case wasn't critical yet.

The frustrating thing on top of the consequences of this (avoiding talking about it because lots bad experiences with psychiatry and most ppl will propose psychiatry as solution), is the blatant lie. Just say the truth, that the public medical system is completely fucked up in the country due to liberal politics and you don't have places for ppl in my situation, instead of blaming my symptoms.

this is suicidism.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

i went to a campus counseling thing because i was having both really bad dysphoria and dealing with some issues processing potentially having bipolar disorder. i filled out the “history of issues” and the campus counselor spent the whole time trying to get me to make a crisis plan for my suicidal ideations. i cant state enough how much they WEREN’T a problem at that point. id been on antidepressants for ages and in counseling for longer.

this is suicidism. sometimes people seem to freak out if you've ever been suicidal before, it's weird.

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

psych ward abuse and trauma. being sent away from home for the crime of struggling and it only makes you worse. I’ve been abused at a mental hospital and it rlly fucked me up, I ended up w a sort of Stockholm syndrome for it and I missed my abusers so bad

and people minimize it because “they were trying to help.”

this is suicidism. abuse is still abuse even is your abusers were "trying to help you."

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

being told my self harm wasn't really cuts, it was moreso just scratches. that was a contributing factor to my first failed suicide attempt. invalidation is a bitch.

this is suicidism. (it sure is)

#asks #this is suicidism #suicidism

Also we had someone mention us in a post with like 3 notes to ask if the op was being suicidist and we'd prefer if people didn't do that. we have a somewhat large audience and don't want to direct a bunch of people to some random post by calling it out. You can send asks about things you see though so long as you do not name names.

#not suicidism #info

Not a story or anything but I just wanna say I love this blog, you've all given ppl a place to vent without worry. Suicidism is a huge problem and if we actually got proper care instead of being thrown into a mental hospital or isolated or treated as 'dangerous' or any of that other bs, I believe a lot of us would still be here and that sucks. So thank you for this blog, I really love it so much and I think it's important

thank you! we are glad this is helping others!

#asks #not suicidism

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