This Is How I Fell Down

This isn't a metaphor, tell us how you fell down.

[biscuitsarenice]

[smoke-skate-hustle-blog]

Rek.

[thisishowifelldown]

If we fall, we fall together. 

[thisishowifelldown]

Is there a botanist in the house?

Pretty sure that’s not poison ivy. 

Right?

[thisishowifelldown]

Hidden Stabbies

Went for a simple, easy trail ride. Thought I’d tackle one of the obstacles. But I made a noob mistake and didn’t have enough momentum, so right at the moment when there is no turning back or bailing out, I flopped right over and down into Stabville. Jammed my knee into a chopped off sapling hidden in the fluffy bushes. 

It was a long-ass hobble out of the woods that day.

[thisishowifelldown]

Face Full of Tar in New Hampshire

I was bored as fuck, in the 90’s, in New Hampshire, on a week-long family trip. At this point, it didn’t take much to get me excited. My cousin and I came upon bumper boats and this is all that I needed to scream, “I get yellow” and run along the tarmac. 

Of course I face-planted, well, tooth-planted. When I managed to right myself I had a chipped tooth and my gums were lined with black bits of tar. Let’s just say I never got excited again. 

[hobolunchbox]

Hellz Ya Summer!

[artsy-blog-aesthetic]

Me

[oliveyouforeverandever]

Don’t chase me bro. 

[thisishowifelldown]

I Was Blitzed on Nyquil, Shattered a Yankee Candle and Fell Down

A few years ago I had a bad case of the flu. I took a double dose of NyQuil and in my foggy stupor I thought that a scented candle would help put me at ease. I rifled through the bathroom closet to find an old Yankee candle, but couldn’t get the lid off. I pulled the lid so hard that I slammed the candle on the granite sink countertop and it shattered to pieces.

The candle breaking scared me so much that I fell down. 

[gatitoambulante]

[death-by-lulz]

Funny falls collection

[thisishowifelldown]

We all fall down. 

[thisishowifelldown]

A Tire and A Fall: The Tragic Tale of a Second Grader

It was a warm spring day. Songbirds chattered and the faint drone of traffic in the distance hummed. I was eight.

I approached one of the three spare truck tires in our front yard. For the past few weeks, my siblings and I had been climbing atop the tires and balancing – an imitation circus act, a feat of daring bravery. I was the best at it. I had gotten so good that I could take a few steps, the tire rolling grudgingly beneath me.

On this fateful day that started like so many others, the tire yielded not the satisfying roll under my precarious step, but instead lurched forward wildly. I tumbled backwards, my arms behind me to brace my ungraceful fall. The bone in my elbow buckled; what was moments before a full, functioning arm, was now two pieces that didn’t communicate with each other. I couldn’t move my fingers. I knew I was hurt. I thought “I guess I should cry?”, to which my mom responded in panic for my sister to go get my dad, who was building a house next door. She started to give her typical eye-rolling sisterly attitude, but my mom screamed “GO!!” and she scampered away while my mom called the ambulance.

The rest is a blur from which I recall specific moments of clarity: my uncle, a firefighter, coming in the rescue to splint my arm; the doctor in the ER realizing that the blood flow to my hand was blocked, and telling me to squeeze the nurse’s finger as he took my broken arm and yanked it, trying unsuccessfully to straighten the veins; them rushing me to the operating room even though it wasn’t ready, cutting off my favorite pink Salem Witch T-shirt along the way.

I awoke with three pins in my elbow holding my arm together and a long recovery with a big pink cast. Though I had plenty of childhood mishaps and skinned knees, this was “THE” defining fall of my life. 

[thisishowifelldown]

Fell Down at Harry Potter Musical in Front of Entire Stadium

I attended a showing of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone at a local theater with orchestra accompaniment. We had bangin’ seats (first row balcony) so the majority of the audience was behind us.

My mom decided to take a bathroom break during the scene where the Troll breaks into Hogwarts. About five seconds later I decided I should too and ran to catch up with her (why run? I have no idea). 

I ran up the stairs in a stadium theater to reach the landing to go to the bathroom. I tripped on my shoe, and then on the last stair and slow motion fell for three seconds before falling onto my head (forehead touching the ground), with my ass in the air downward dog style and my dress flipped over. I exposed my bloomers to the rest of the audience, probably 1,500 people. I did what anyone would do, and fled. To this day, I wish it has been caught on camera.