i know in a previous entry i shortly defined it but that is foresure not the whole spheal. basically thus was a shower thought sprouted from the idea of mc and dylan being “in love” after only knowing eachother for 3 months and how i think thats false, then i was thinking about why i think thats false? what is even my definition of love? its defenetly not the condensed, more poetic version i wrote a few weeks ago that “its about being the kind of person who makes someone feel like they could stand in the rain forever, just to listen to whats on your mind.” though, that’s not even it condensed, that’s just one aspect or example of it. i mean, i could talk to pete davidson standing in the rain for as long as possible, but that doesn’t mean im in love with him. then i thought, well what is my biggest aspect or example of what i think love is? understanding, and acceptance. understanding and appreciating every flaw and good trait/strengths, but to a greater extent, their flaws. accepting someone’s most discusting, offensive or intolerant habits/mentalities is the truest form of love. i think this is also one of the reasons bones and all is such a masterpeice, a dark, romantic work of art that explores this very concept. its not just about loving someone at their best, but loving them so completely that you’re willing to accept the most grotesque parts of them. the movie’s icomnic message, loving smeone enough to consume them, bones and all is the truest example for unconditional acceptance. this is also very ironic because of how people interpret the movie as a sadistic weird movie, one with a story that not a lot of filmmakers like to touch on, def not make a whole picture about. but truly, its about love at it’s rawest, most unsettling form. because isn’t that what love really is? loving someone’s best characteristics only is the shallowest version of love, and honestly thats what the honeymoon phase is about, in the metaphorically and litterally. the honeymoon phase happens immidiantly after the wedding. it is litterally meant to celebrate the love in your life, while watching your fiance at their best, basking in the glow of being promised to, happy for being told their happy for, full of hope, excitement and optomism for the future. though, as your focusing on their best qualities while at their best, you become distracted from thier flaws and vulnerabilities. its no longer just about admiring their best qualities but learning to love them in their entirety. and for most people they can’t handle trying to do that. another aspect about the honeymoon phase id like to touch on is idealization. this common habit creates an unrealistic standard or false hopes that often lead to unmet expectations once they begin to show their flaws, thinking they have set up a good enough amount of strengths or compatability with you for you to accept these, though most of the time it ends up being a waste of time if you can’t tolerate these traits. i think the best way to go about trying to find love is being completely honest and setting up no false expectations from the beginning. showing your true imperfections, and either finding someone who resonates with your flaws or disagreeable traits and accepts them is the most promising approach. perhaps, as we chase the idea of love, we should stop looking for perfection, stop clinging to ideals that won’t withstand the test of time. maybe its not about what you think they should be but about finding someone who not just stays with you despite your most discusting, offensive and intolerant habits, but admires both your strengths and those weaknesses. if love isn’t a fairy tale, would you still want it if you knew it meant loving them in their entirety, not just the version of them you want to see? 02-12-25