dan

[thisismycolumn]

i can’t help but wonder, why are we staying in romantic relatioships that arent serving us?

i feel that platonic relationshops are an entirely different conversation solely because of how difficult it is to find new friends that are tolerable. though, when men are so easily replacable why arent we recylcing them like we used to? what happened to thank you, next??

why are we taking these relationships so seriously, and why are we getting our hopes up? if he dissapoints you in any way shape or form shouldn’t your immidiate reaction be to cut him off? your wasting his time, your friends time, your therapists time and your own. because if hes treating you badly, not meeting your expectations, taking you for granted or being inconsistant why are you still trying to tough it out out when your obviously putting yourself through more suffering than you would be if you were alone?

the process of dating is genuinly fundamental to your personal development to experience, learn and to move on. if you think your gonna gain something from this or hes gonna chnage for you, your wasting your time in the wrong relationship when you could easily get another whom adds value to your life instead of stress. the longer you entertain whast not for you, the longer you delay what is.

if you are trying to avoid the pain of a break up, you are still in pain in the relationship. and if your judgement is being clouded by fear of being alone, then being alone is exactly what you need. it is a free of charge chance to learn to respect yourself enough to know what you deserve and focus on your own growth and empowerment. you can build confidence from knowing your enough with or without someone else. it allows you to raise your strandards, understand when something is a deal breaker or not, and have the self respect to say, "thank you, next."

[thisismycolumn]

why i love marvel

what actually makes marvel so interesting is that beneath the costumes and superpowers, it's shockingly grounded in reality. instead of inventing random villains and conflicts, marvel often mirrors the real world-power struggles, government control, and the consequences of unchecked authority.

i find it especially ironic that my favorite marvel film is the first example when I research this. The Winter Soldier plays out like a political thriller, exposing how corruption can fester even within institutions trusted to protect us. or Civil War, which questions the balance between personal freedom and government oversight — a debate that feels uncomfortably real. Also true within the X-Men's struggles reflecting social issues like discrimination and activism.

even Captain America — who I'd call the face of marvel — was born as pure propaganda. he wasn’t just a hero; he was a morale boost in a world on edge, telling readers that America’s fight was righteous and promoting patriotism. he asked you to stand by him, defend the country, and join the war effort. but Captain America evolved, as we all do, and began questioning if he believed in what he symbolized. that internal conflict hit a breaking point when he abandoned the Captain America identity altogether and became Nomad — a man without a country. this wasn’t just a costume change; it was a rejection of blind patriotism. Steve realized that the ideals he once represented had been twisted, and instead of being loyal to a system, he became loyal to what’s right. he proved that strength isn’t about serving power — it’s about challenging it. as he once said, “The price of freedom is high, but its a price I’m willing to pay.”

this theme runs deep throughout marvel’s stories. behind the explosions and epic battles are characters grappling with systems bigger than themselves — governments with too much power, institutions corrupted by greed, and the eternal question of who gets to decide what's right. Spider-man’s lasting message, “With great power comes great responsibility,” reminds us that power must be wielded carefully, for it can easily corrupt when placed in the wrong hands.

marvel's greatest strength isn't just its heroes — it's the reminder that power should always be questioned, and that fighting for truth, even when it's complicated, is the greatest act of heroism. as Captain America put it, “The world’s on a lot of people’s shoulders. But right now, we need to put our trust in the right hands. The right hands.”

it’s also worth remembering that, for younger audiences or fans who watch these movies or read the comics for pure surface level entertainment might not even recodnize or resonate with these messages until they’re older or choose to explore them. while the themes are deeply relevent to real world issues, most viewers may not even realize how much the stories reflect their own struggles in society. it’s understandable that movies like these with their flashy action scenes and superhero battles appeal to a broad audience, but the underlying themes may only be seen by viewers with a different perspective.

[trumanblackblog]

[thisismycolumn]

OMFG HUSBAND POSTED

[thisismycolumn]

i couldn't help but wonder, when does the relationship posting get to its point?

everyone knows that one person who if they just changed their username on insta to their shipped name, their acc would officially be the cringiest fan page for their significant other. do these people really have nothing left to be infatuated with other than their lover? is there none else that entertains them or that they are passionate about? there is such an intricate beauty in cultivating a life outside of your own relationship, in developing a sense of self thats uniquely yours. why not share your latest obsession with a book or hobby or artist you can’t stop thinking about? why not post about things that make you you? because in the end, a relationship might be an incredible part of your life, but it shouldn’t be the only part of your life that anyone sees. 

[thisismycolumn]

i couldn’t help but wonder, how would i define love?

i know in a previous entry i shortly defined it but that is foresure not the whole spheal. basically thus was a shower thought sprouted from the idea of mc and dylan being “in love” after only knowing eachother for 3 months and how i think thats false, then i was thinking about why i think thats false? what is even my definition of love? its defenetly not the condensed, more poetic version i wrote a few weeks ago that “its about being the kind of person who makes someone feel like they could stand in the rain forever, just to listen to whats on your mind.” though, that’s not even it condensed, that’s just one aspect or example of it. i mean, i could talk to pete davidson standing in the rain for as long as possible, but that doesn’t mean im in love with him. then i thought, well what is my biggest aspect or example of what i think love is? understanding, and acceptance. understanding and appreciating every flaw and good trait/strengths, but to a greater extent, their flaws. accepting someone’s most discusting, offensive or intolerant habits/mentalities is the truest form of love. i think this is also one of the reasons bones and all is such a masterpeice, a dark, romantic work of art that explores this very concept. its not just about loving someone at their best, but loving them so completely that you’re willing to accept the most grotesque parts of them. the movie’s icomnic message, loving smeone enough to consume them, bones and all is the truest example for unconditional acceptance. this is also very ironic because of how people interpret the movie as a sadistic weird movie, one with a story that not a lot of filmmakers like to touch on, def not make a whole picture about. but truly, its about love at it’s rawest, most unsettling form. because isn’t that what love really is? loving someone’s best characteristics only is the shallowest version of love, and honestly thats what the honeymoon phase is about, in the metaphorically and litterally. the honeymoon phase happens immidiantly after the wedding. it is litterally meant to celebrate the love in your life, while watching your fiance at their best, basking in the glow of being promised to, happy for being told their happy for, full of hope, excitement and optomism for the future. though, as your focusing on their best qualities while at their best, you become distracted from thier flaws and vulnerabilities. its no longer just about admiring their best qualities but learning to love them in their entirety. and for most people they can’t handle trying to do that. another aspect about the honeymoon phase id like to touch on is idealization. this common habit creates an unrealistic standard or false hopes that often lead to unmet expectations once they begin to show their flaws, thinking they have set up a good enough amount of strengths or compatability with you for you to accept these, though most of the time it ends up being a waste of time if you can’t tolerate these traits. i think the best way to go about trying to find love is being completely honest and setting up no false expectations from the beginning. showing your true imperfections, and either finding someone who resonates with your flaws or disagreeable traits and accepts them is the most promising approach. perhaps, as we chase the idea of love, we should stop looking for perfection, stop clinging to ideals that won’t withstand the test of time. maybe its not about what you think they should be but about finding someone who not just stays with you despite your most discusting, offensive and intolerant habits, but admires both your strengths and those weaknesses. if love isn’t a fairy tale, would you still want it if you knew it meant loving them in their entirety, not just the version of them you want to see? 02-12-25

[thisismycolumn]

i couldn't help but wonder, will i always be an insufferable gatekeeping hypocrite?

theres a specific kind of stomach sinking frustration i feel when i hear someone mention an interest that i’ve built a peice of my identity around. instead of feeling supported or glad that someone else also values the beauty in it, i feel discredited or i have an instinct to say, you’re not even bout that like i am as if my appreciation has layers deeper than theirs(my complex says it does thats not a question.) however, i have always presented myself to be a walking mosiac of all the people i’ve met. i make my tea the way my dad always did, pour my heart out to songs shazamed from everyone i’ve met, claim my favorite tv show as the one my cousin begged me to start watching in 2018 and bought the same perfumes as my mom all my life. i exist as a patchwork of influences and borrowed things, a stiched toegther version of everyone who has ever left a peice of themselves with me. and i admire that, so why do i resent it when someone adopts a song or interest i thought was mine or wears a brand i once considered a personal signature? maybe its because i want to be authentic? to have somethign that i’m remembered for, and ironically i want to be remmebered for being passionate. am i really losing peices of myself when someone else loved the things i loved or am i just afraid of realziing that nothing was eveer really mine to begin with? sure, it is more beautiful to be part of a group or fanbase, but thats kind of not what i’m talking about. rather than finding people who shares my love for certain things, i find myself irritated with those who are just beggining to discover them. its not about the shared interest itself, its the feeling that something so personal to me has been diluted or claimed by others who dont understand the depth of my connection. maybe its not about gatekeeping, but rather wanting to maintain the authenticity and raw connection i have with these things without feeling like it’s signifiange is being lessened by someone else’s newfound interest. though who am i to present myself as a walking mosiac of all the people i’ve met when i can’t even admit that mosiac is being threaded by others who love the same thing? when recently i’ve been threading into it with new interests that i could’ve gotten on board with years ago? how am i even supposed to say; og bob dylan fans don’t come for me because i just started liking him even though if i was you id do the same??

[thisismycolumn]

i couldn’t help but wonder, do we lose our authentic selves when we’re too busy trying to be someone else’s type?

someone who never took the time to find their own identity or interests, and end up defining themselves by whoever they're chasing. these are the girls who’s hobbies are “whatever he’s into” and whose passions flicker to life only under the glow of male attention. you know the type. she never cared about vinyls until he made her a playlist. suddenly, she’s posting messy collages of candid baking ambiance pics with captions litterally quoting the beatles like “a love like ours could never die” - The Beatles”, instead of her usual meticulusly curated photoshoots—ten versions of the same pose in the same spot, captioned “buckle up!!” or “bear-y much in the halloween spirit!”. she never cared for mac miller or tyler, but now she’s reposting anything related to them as if she’s a diehard fan. its not about discovering new interests; theres beauty in that. its about the absense of any inner world when there jsnt a boy to orbit around. is it insecurity? is it the thrill of becoming someons ideal? or maybe its the exhausting narrative that a girl’s worth is tied to how well she mirrors a man’s desires. real passion doesnt require an audience. its messy, loud, obsessive, sometimes embarrasing and wonderfully authentic. its collecting old postcards and movie tickets because they remind you of fleeting, beautiful moments when you’re favorite fandom was thriving. its baking batches and batches of cookies and sweet treats because yoiu wanted to, not because someones hungry. its collecting as much physical media as you can, because you don’t just like mac miller, a24 movies or psycology books, you’re deeply passionate about them. your interests are the heartbeat of your life and goals. ultimately, it isnt sbout trying to conform to reflect someone else’s desires, hoping for a lifelong commitment, especially being a teenager. after all, its about temporarily experimenting and finding the things you truly are passionate about, not for attention but for you’re own spirit and comfort no matter how embarrasing or weird they are.