This Poem

I started writing poetry again. I missed the feeling of my thoughts, like a waterfall, running down my arm and onto a page.

[thispoem]

Shhh

Silence is the loudest sound, It's distracting, It wakes people up, It reminds them what life's worth, It reminds them of fear.

On the other hand...

Silence is peace, It is the absence of thought, It is you melting with the universe, It is the softest end, To the loudest beginning.

[thispoem]

Searching

I haven’t found you yet, You that keeps my soul warm in the morning.

I haven’t found you yet, You that keeps my bed warm, Warmth that reminds me that I’m not alone in this world.

I haven’t found you yet, You that looks at me and through me and around me, Looks that speak the only language that matters — Trust.

I haven’t found you yet, You that sees the demons that I walk with, The guilt that is the ocean I try to stay afloat on.

Sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of you, Sometimes I think I hear your voice, But like a distant echo, Like a beautiful dream that lingers just long enough to torture, It fades.

[thispoem]

Palavinka

I want half of what you want, To be the other half of me, That wants half of you.

If there’s a quarter of you, That wants this, Then I shall spin endlessly, And forever I will be for you.

[thispoem]

Us

More love, Than hate, More action, Than fate, Warm hands, Over trembling fists, Hope heals, Hope resists.

[thispoem]

The Grasp of Guilt

The dark follows me Like the “I told you so” of that other life.

I see the sun and yet my eyes can’t adjust to the beauty of everyone else.

I keep washing the dirt off myself, But there’s always just enough under the nails.

[thispoem]

Moments

As if emotions picked up instruments and started playing, As if my heart picked up the mic and started singing, Or maybe screaming.

As if the night was mother, And the wind was that other, Best friend, Laughing.

[thispoem]

Passing By

Oh Time, My scorned lover, When you gave yourself to me, I turned away, And now, When I need you most, Like a cold reminder, I’m left with nothing.

[thispoem]

Five Seconds of Fame

We look at what's left of each other, Replaced by filters, edits, lies, Of what we hope to be, Or what we hoped to be.

Loud are our imperfections, Their incessant buzzing, Like flies inside our minds.

How can you swat something you can only feel?

[thispoem]

You

I don’t know what I want from you, But I want you near, You somehow found my heart, my furnace, And you turned it up.

When I’m near you I burn not with yellow, not with red, When I’m near you I burn white, Quiet becomes loud, Calm, almost stagnant traffic in my veins becomes a RACE TRACK, I am ALIVE, Alive like the world just rolled out of the car-wash, Alive like a Saturday night HOUSE PARTY, Alive like the MAGIC.

I thought this feeling gone, Spent on those who are now shadows, Echos, Memories of good ideas gone bad, Or bad ideas that tried their hardest to be good.

I don’t know what I want from you, But I want you near, Like the sound of rain, Like an orange sunset, Like a song that lingers, I, want, you.

[thispoem]

Hearts

One I love for her dance, One I love for her heart, One I love for her pain, One I loved from the start.

One I wanted to help, One that pushed me away, One I still ‘stalk’ online, Though she’s so far away.

Never asked to be shattered, Never wanted to share, Guess I’m still here searching, Guess I still really care.

[thispoem]

Scent

You’re the honey in the jar, I can hold you, But there’s still that glass between us.

I want unscrew that cap and reach inside, Use my hands, Sticky, The scent of you, Lingers, Like every word that leaves your lips.

[thispoem]

Thoughts in the Stillness

Should I submit to the darkness, Should I let it push me out of this, gray, nothing?

Should I take the rage and inject it into my veins, Let it reanimate me, Fuel this husk?

For if the shell has given up, But the heart has not, And the soul has not, And the song will not, End, Then why should I?

[thispoem]

Evening Rays

And when light asked, “Where shall I rest?” I pointed in her direction, And glowed did she, All her curves, and edges, Dimples, and hair strands, All for which my song was written, Was illuminated.

[thispoem]

Texting in the Rain

If you watch the sidewalk long enough,

Others passing by will seem like droplets,

Racing one another,

Dancing their way through this urban chaos,

Merging when they can,

On their journey home.

[thispoem]

Snap

Maybe we were a blink of an eye, But in it I took a million breaths.

Skin; Silk, Lips; Warm.

How much do you remember? How much do I?

[thispoem]

The Wall

Bloodied fists, Chipped Nails, Torn skin, And yet nothing.

The wall, It stands in silence, A mental masonry masterpiece, My own suffering by design.

I collapse to the ground, And look at the sky,   To watch the dust settle, And then I realize, The wall is crumbling, Slowly…

[thispoem]

The Wolf King

I Am before you, On bended knee, With this crown not upon my head, But in my hands, stretched out.

Take it—if I’m no longer worthy, And let it not return from whence it came.

This is to remind me, That I’m nothing without you, That honor is the word for love, On the mouth of all soldiers.