Going Full Kanye

blah blah blah my life sucks, alyssa, 18

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5/12 The best me is a genuine one

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3/21 I hate that I get high every night instead of doing my homework. But I just feel better when I get high and it keeps me from disassociating. Things have gotten worse and I just want to have freedom to do what I want. I feel like I'm wasting my own time sitting in my dorm in Alaska

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Also to future me: do not get back together with him. You know why.

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3/18 just so future me knows Christin tried to pull some shit today.

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self care is getting high and taking pictures of the sunset

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3/16 ok ya things have started to go downhill but I don't really care. I wish I wouldn't have spent so much effort on them. Anyway I really hate that me and Christin were just starting to have great sex. Also I miss him but whatever

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3/10 everyone is mad/sad that I'm leaving. But they don't actually talk to me???? And want to talk to my friends more???? Thanks for making me feel bad by guilt tripping me about something you really don't care about???

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3/3 Tonight was aesthetic. I'm happy I'm talking to Jake. And I feel (great word for feeling amazing)

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ok tho I swear 2 god weed is curing my depression

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ok I take back being great for the whole month because that's not true. sorry I got a little to excited. but I'm seeing such positive changes in my life!!!!

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2/28

I just want to melt right now, today started out shitty and it has ended perfectly. This year (really the beginning of the semester) I decided to try as many new experiences as possible and in just a month it has paid off. I’m writing to my future self who may see worse days to say that being blissfully happy is possible. So here is a list of stuff that happened today (in order):

1. I got a job interview with Starbucks, who called me 2 days after I submitted my application.

2. I submitted my Western application

3. I asked a guy on a ~date~. (invited him out with friends for a photography project, but still, I asked him first)

4. I applied to be a camp counselor in Alaska over the summer which is from May 22- Aug 4, so I will still get to go home. For a good amount of time.

5. Me and Zoe are driving so my parents will not have to pay for a plane ticket and I will not have to pay to ship everything back.

wow. I'm just so proud of myself. Thinking back a month ago when I couldn't function properly till now. I'm happy, so happy.

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2/28 I just applied to western and I got a job interview at Starbucks so I would say today is going pretty well so far 😎

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Apparently I didn't get my period but I was just remembering I don't have friends here :/

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2/22 ok I got my period and now I feel like shit. I was happy for almost a whole week tho?

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On another note: I wish I wasn't so awkward and that I could actually talk to people. 2. I ate so much shit today. Like literal shit. Just spoonfuls of frosting. And also I didn't climb that much so all the calories are still in me.

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2/19 maybe it's all the weed but I've been really happy this week

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2/18 Ok but I took a shower when I was really high and my life is changed. Like it was such a nice experience and then after I laid in my bed naked and took a dank nap?? Also I had gotten high twice?? Today is amazing!!