ok so i gotta rant really badly and it might get a bit personal, but what I’m gonna say is important and needs to be talked about more. because I have never seen posts about this topic.
(warning: mentions of abuse, family, and child neglect)
maturity is a good thing to have. obviously, it really is. but in children? there’s a bit of a problem.
expecting a child to deal with situations like an adult would is crazy. they’re not an adult, why are parents setting the bar so high? and getting so upset when their CHILD can’t reach it? yall can’t keep hurting children like this, stop ripping their childhood right out of their hands, it’s disgusting and abusive.
also, if you think you’re not doing this: saying to a kid “you’re so mature for your age!” and shit like “you’re not like other kids!” like it’s something good is ALSO toxic and neglectful. you’re allowing them to think they have to be “mature” all the time, that they can’t be young anymore. and they’re going to begin thinking they’re much older than they really are and they’re going to start doing adult things, which will DEFINITELY get them hurt.
and they’re going to blame themselves. it’s what they do. they’ll say things like “I wasn’t mature enough, now I have to grow up even faster”. and even if you realize this cycle, it’s really likely that it’s irreversible and the damage is already done. please, please don’t let a child get to this point. it will ruin them forever.
“maturity” in a child should be something small like admitting they broke a cookie jar, not having to be the shoulder their ADULT parents cry on when their lives get hard. and what I mean is spilling out their heaviest of worries, like financial situations, personal issues, things kids shouldn’t need to know if they can’t fully understand it.
if they can fully understand it, there you go. that’s an example of what I’m talking about.
kids can be naturally understanding and mature, of course. but what I’m talking about is forcing your child to grow up because you need a blank canvas to paint all of your stress on. that’s abuse. let your children be children.
(and to the kids and people who can relate to this, and have gone through it: I am proud of you, and I am sorry. you are so much stronger than you know, but it’s okay to be weak sometimes. love yourself, tomorrow is another day.)