[lobstersonskateboards]

never will I ever forget the time my friend told me about goddamn. mormon bubble porn

[lobstersonskateboards]

@glubablub @queenofthesafetypins

ok so

there’s a rule in mormonism that you Absolutely Cannot see a woman naked. however, since we as a species usually LOVE to jack off, people found a way around it.

basically what they do is take pictures of beautiful bikini women or whatever, and cover the bits that would be deemed unseeable, and creating bubbles around certain parts like the stomach and neck, to give off the illusion that they’re naked.

that way they can jack off freely without guilt. it is generally effective, but since it’s so obscure it looks like some kind of odd fetish.

In conclusion, anybody with a sex drive, no matter the religion, will absolutely try their hardest to jack off, even if it means really fuckin strange loopholes. thank u for ur time.

[back-that-sass-up]

i really didn’t want to know what mormon bubble porn was but like a sinner I kept scrolling

[linhardts-remade]

JARED NINETEEN????

[bug-cryptid-deactivated20190830]

[insurrectionary-frybreadism-dea]

[sexworkinfo]

Shift fees*, fees for being late for your shift, and fees for being out of dress code that sex workers in brothels, strip clubs and similar workplaces have to pay is wage theft and should be recognised as such by non sex worker allies

For those who don’t know, shift fee is the fee you pay to be at work. yes you read that right, you have to pay to go to work! this is usually argued as ‘cost of using the premise’ because of the legal status of sex workers as independent contractors.. except if we were independent contractors we couldn’t be penalised for being late or out of dress code. the entire system here is designed to work in favour of the owners of the premise and against the workers in it; this is our bosses exploiting us. Our allies need to know this and speak up on it! this whole bullshit system is facilitated by the precarious and often outright criminalised status of sex work

[sexworkinfo]

Another example is the two tiered system where brothel work is legal but independent sex work is not. This forces sex workers to either risk being arrested and everything that comes with it or work in a brothel that takes all the aforementioned cuts and fees. This is actual coercion and actual material exploitation happening against independent workers by big bosses. If you claim to care about the exploitation of sex workers, you should be pushing for full decriminalization and an end to the monopoly brothel owners have on the industry in many places

[maguneedsalife]

your periodic reminder that “golem” is not a word you can throw around without context. i know golems are pretty ingrained as earth/elemental spirits in a lot of fantasy settings now, but i wish more people understood that golems are extremely important to jewish people in an extremely specific way. 

the legend of the golem is a direct response to antisemitism in europe–specifically the blood libel; it was the golem’s job to expose asshole christians who tried to frame jews for child murder. the golem was a uniquely jewish response to a uniquely jewish problem: a sort of proto-superman who could come to our aid when all else failed. the golem is for the most part a benign protector (though there are legends of them rampaging after their rabbis lost control of them, but really, that one’s on the rabbi for not being specific enough). it is a positive and much beloved figure in jewish folklore.

so i want you to understand the full extent of jewish revulsion when we see people throwing around the word “golem” in regards to trump. 

trump is not a golem. you do not get to use that word. it does not mean “vaguely human-shaped unfeeling lump of excrement trying to pass as a person.” If that’s what you’re trying to convey with the word “golem”, please just use those words instead.

[vaporwavesimulator]

HRRRGH!!

ghfghgghgggggg;;;w

[jadenvargen]

i like elephant seals IN THEORY cos they look so goofy but every time i watch any documentary about them all they do is fuck and fight extremely graphically and disgustingly to the death so i’m deeply afraid of them

[smugbots-and-such]

I just googled “why do elephant seals fight” and got a video of one bashing himself in slow, rhythmic, dead-eyed crashes against a truck only slightly larger than itself while said owner just stood to the side, a defeated, perplexed look on his face

[smugbots-and-such]

[just-another-dead-blog]

Pretty sure this is Homer the elephant seal from New Zealand. He’s not fighting that car he’s fucking it. It’s how he got famous, he became a menace to a town after fucking a bunch of cars. He also fucked a restaurant’s power box and caused a blackout. Absolute madman.

[crestofnobility]

Ah, wonderful! Now I’m even more terrified.

[queernuck]

[erinomaista]

Is your landlord a piece of shit and refusing to fix stuff around your place? If you’re living in the US, most cities have a section on their website for building code enforcement. Find the contact information for the department and tell them what’s happening. Make bureaucracy work for you! The government will contact your landlord and if they don’t comply they will be fined! The threat of losing money is a mighty motivator and they’ll most likely get their shit together within a day or two.

My ceiling was leaking for two weeks without me hearing anything from management besides “we’ll get to it”. Literally the DAY after I emailed the code enforcement department, management came by with a contractor to give me estimates on when my roof would be fixed. This shit works y’all

[thearthistorygeekau]

I don’t normally post or reblog about this on my Tumblr, but this is important. I tried this and it made our landlord so mad that they accused us of not letting them in to fix the apartment, told code enforcement these lies, and threatened to evict us. If you do this, make sure you document EVERYTHING.

[archivesandcyanide]

i’m [26NB] having some serious problems with my new cleaning lady [17 but cursed to be 90, F]. first off, i didn’t hire a new cleaning lady, she just showed up one day and broke into my house. second of all she’s terrorising my assistant [15M] and my fire demon [semi-immortal, age unknowable, NB], as well as the small colony of friendly spiders i keep in my home. I have a lot of other stuff going on right now (king won’t get off my back, school mate possibly kidnapped, ex wants me dead, am also cursed, etc.), and I hate confrontation so tbh it’s hard to talk it out. Also despite the age gap i think i’m falling in love w her. How do i get her to stop cutting up my suits and throwing weedkiller on everything?

[taahko]

theres an interaction in the first ep of rockport where merle says “can we bring billy bluejeans back” and taako replies “its barry. oh how quickly you forget huh. boy barry must have made a real impact on you” and all of this is in front of lucretia

[rednightmare18]

modding skyrim be like

[firstborn-of-akatosh-deactivate]

[grand-arbiter-dovin-baan]

[preop-psyop-deactivated20210818]

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

Fuck the chimp that threw the raccoon

[femmedesyeuxnoirs]

Receipts?

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

I fucking hate this dude

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

(ohhh here she comes) watch out bugs she’ll chew you up (ohhh here she comes) she’s an anteater 

[sketchdeath]

whippet

[sketchdeath]

[birdsbeard]

i hadnt scrolled down and saw this image before the video was over and kept wondering what the hell could this have sparked in the comments

[ratfuck]

British food look like this

[roseskinnycoffee]

Excuse me.

Okay.. alright..

British food does not look like that.

That is British food:

This is British food:

Sunday dinner looks amazing right?

This is also British food:

So what cheek do you have at commenting that British food is basically shit. And yes I’m British and we don’t all drink tea and speak posh oh no. That’s due to the area you live in.

Oxfordshire=posh

London= cockney

Midlands= northern

Welsh= north

And Scotland northern

And the food depends on what area you get your food from different areas have different ideas on food such as Scotland haggis and deep fried Mars bars.

So just don’t Diss British food, you’ve probably never tried it.

[ratfuck]

*goes to a restaurant in Liverpool*

me: Yes ma'am I’d like to order the Jellied Ox Taint

waitress: Oi cummin roight op govna

[fischotterkunst]

yall look at this shit ad*be is tryna pull now on ppl who have outdated software:

(note for context: i’m all for piracy, but in this case my copy of CS6 was downloaded years ago when they were giving it away to students. i got it totally legally.)

[fischotterkunst]

so here is what NOT to do if you’re a loyal fan of adobe who has the cash to shell out for a newer and shittier version of the product you already paid for.

1) DON’T use your search bar to find and open the Run app

2) DON’T type in services.msc

3) DON’T find Adobe Genuine Software Integrity Services and right-click to get a dropdown menu, and don’t select ‘properties’

4) if you happen to click properties, DON’T use the startup type dropdown to locate the option to disable the program. be sure you DON’T click apply to finalize that change. 

5) DO NOT do the same thing in order to also disable Adobe Genuine Software Monitor 

if you do all of these things, this WILL disable adobe’s ability to monitor the software, and you will be forced to continue using the same older software that you already paid for instead of having to sign up for a newer, shittier version and pay more for it. so if you have lots of cash to spare and are cool with putting it the pockets of racketeering capitalists, definitely don’t do any of these things. 

however, you SHOULD reblog this to spread the word, as we certainly want to make sure lots of people know what NOT to do :)