Skullduggery and Deviance

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

i am sure someone's said this better but I haven't seen it anywhere, so something about rose telling shane that a problem is something you can fix, that their relationship can't be "fixed" because it isn't broken, it just needs to change and that's okay. and shane hearing for the first time that his truth is enough, he is okay, he is enough, he's not a failure, change doesn't have to be bad or scary, he doesn't need to feel guilty or ashamed, he doesn't need fixing.

and then Ilya telling shane that "i have this problem" and basically says that shane is the problem. and shane's mad and terrified because ilya's ragebaiting him being flirty and coy, but also because. the thing is, the thing is, shane can see that it is actually completely fixable for ilya. "i could marry svetlana" i could marry a woman i could make my own life so much easier, and i could, maybe, leave you if the problem proved too big.

"do you want that problem to go away" with a tremor in his voice because the thing is. it could. their relationship isn't like shane's sexuality: inevitable and innate. this is a choice. and so ilya telling him no, I don't ever want that problem to ever go away, is ilya telling him "no, i want you more than some casual or convenient thing, even if it's harder, even though it's a problem, i choose it anyway"

but then shane waking ilya up in the middle of the night because he's figured it out: they're not actually the problem, everything else is. they don't need fixing, everyone else's expectations and judgements and limitations do. the nhl needs fixing, and the press, the brand labels, the fan base, the whole culture of the sport. and shane, because he is shane, immediately throws his whole stupid ass into trying to fix it.

because ilya marrying svetlana would actually have been way more sensible, probably, than starting a whole fucking charity, ilya moving city, switching teams, giving up so much. certainly less romantic, but it would have been way more practical, and tbh they'd probably both be less stubborn and stupid (see: the long game), especially because svetlana would absolutely help them any way she could including sending those idiots to therapy immediately. she'd be the world's best beard, even if shane doesn't know that. (and honestly someone write an au the long game where that happens pls). but it also wouldn't have fixed anything, because them being queer, them being together, was never the real problem.

[francisforever2014]

how it feels to refer to men’s “pecs” as their tits

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

i love that the pitt s2 is hammering home Suicidal Robby, but also potentially doing a bait-and-switch suicide watch with like. literally every other character because they are all On The Brink, and there's been Hints you could read into almost any of them self-harming and doing something really drastic. but going back to the very first episode with abbott and robby sort-of-joking about jumping off the roof of the hospital (and ogilvie hesitating a beat too long up there in ep 10) they also have the chance to do the funniest thing ever, of all the characters having exactly the same idea and javadi is like "im not gonna do it i just want to see what it might feel like to stand on the edge!" and walks onto the roof and just sees

[easterndaylighttime]

if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

[tothechaos]

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

[pussyhoundspock]

joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

If your kid isn't resilient enough to read (or self-possessed enough to stop reading) a book they find confronting or difficult or uncomfortable, you have bigger problems, and letting them read whatever they want will actually help!! Let them figure out their own boundaries!!

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

search history: what does being proud of yourself feel like search history: is being proud of yourself real search history: list of us-backed regime changes search history: can autistic people feel proud of themselves search history: skateboarding for beginners

[lakemojave]

Love it when customers apologize. Like yeah, you should be sorry.

[the-bar-sinister]

Actually, the reason to write that rarepair longfic that no one else is going to read is so you can go back and re-read it yourself when you're sad.

[the-bar-sinister]

Or horny.

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

went on a date by accident the other day because he (man) and i (woman? when i don't think about it too much) both thought the other was gay and had independently decided to put our attraction aside and be friends. we figured this out half way through a pizza when he was like "wait are you bisexual?" and i was like "are you?" and then we had amazing sex so moral of the story

???

queer people.

[bdalak]

the more i talk w/ leftist friends the more i start to realize that they think culture is only defined by food or "traditional" (i.e. "ethnic") garb and nothing else

mentioned how white americans do in fact have a common culture and they genuinely thought i was joking. culture isnt something only granted to the Cool People of Color. just feels like among progressive groups there's this dichotomy created in which only the virtuous oppressed minorities have culture and anyone who is privileged some sort of void cultureless being

[pigeonsplease]

When I visited Chicago, the very first thing to weird me out from the airport was… how almost everywhere had revolving doors.

I’m Australian. Sure, we do have those doors, but the vast majority of places in Sydney are automatic sliding doors or old-fashioned manual push/pulls because we don’t need to block out the cold and wind the same way here.

So every day I experienced a culture clash with something as basic as what doors were normal for me.

Americans who say they don’t have a culture are plagued with defaultism beyond belief. Culture isn’t just made up of costumes and language and the largest stuff, it’s constructed of a billion small things you do every day that you never even consider could be different because that’s just “normal” to your daily life. No one has no culture just because they’re not adhering to the biggest markers they can consciously recognise.

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

also speaking as an anthropologist, i think sometimes when people hear 'white people don't have culture' they think that the only two options are 'all white people everywhere (or at least in X country) share the same culture' or 'no they don't, therefore they don't have one'. when actually what people mean is 'regardless of where you are from, you have a cultural background which informs who you are and how you think, feel, and behave and that is inescapable'.

just sticking to food and dress, this is still true. the way that you cook, the kinds of utensils and appliances you grow up with, the methods, the recipes your family makes, the grocery stores or markets you go to, the way that food events are organised, taboos and prohibitions on what/where/when/how/with whom you can eat certain foods. those are all everywhere. every person on the planet belongs (culturally) to various patterns, traditions, and norms around food and eating, it's like one of the only actual universals no matter how Metropolitan And Diverse your life is.

you also grow up wearing certain outfits for certain things, following certain kinds of fashion, and having certain aesthetic tastes and preferences. clothing is part of the reason that i can go to bulgaria or spain, where i phenotypically look like most other people, and still be obviously foreign without ever speaking. similarly, i have never heard or seen any group of people talk more about 'appropriate wedding attire' than white americans. that is cultural.

like the commenter above said, it's hard to see your own culture sometimes if it's a) extremely dominant and reflected back to you all the time (i.e. you're never in a position where someone points out that it isn't universal, and other people also often aspire to or perform it in oder to gain cultural capital), and b) close enough to you that you see the nuances and complexities.

we tend to think of 'other cultures' as monolithic becuase we have to learn to recognise them from the outside: Those People Over There Do This. but that is largely because we aren't close enough to see the complexities, differences, disagreements, variations, and internal rebellions or resistances. because we are so close to our own cultures, we recognise that Many People Like Me Do Not Do This, and we mistake that for lack of cultural norms, rather than natural variation in the ways we internalise, learn, and express ourselves, because people are individuals.

[funkbun]

nothing in the world is stopping you from making that character fatter

[lakevida]

i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles

[lesbianrey]

idk what young person on the internet needs to hear this but you are not obligated to share any personal details about yourself online. in fact im gonna straight-up circle back to 00s era advice and say being anonymous is good actually

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

when i was like 13 i told my dad i was going to pluck my eyebrows, and he was like "noooo, why? okay i guess if that's what you want" and i thought that was a strange reaction. then when i removed about 5 stray hairs, he was like "oh. i thought you meant plucking them... off. fully."

so shout out to my dad who heard that his 13yo was going to tweeze (!!!) their whole brow right out of their face and was like "okay kid you seem to know what you want who am i to stop you"

[thorneycrofthuxtable]

as an autistic loser whose first experience with romantic love was both reluctant and with an avoidant russian man who said snippy shit like "what does it matter" around a cigarette every time i said or asked something that suggested i did in fact perceive him and his desire for connection, i cannot express how Character shane hollander and ilya rozanov are to me

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet