I have no one to talk about the way ewan and nicole drove me INSANE at the oscars, I'm not fine, I miss the moulin rouge fandom, we're either practically extinct or became pigeons since we're eating crumbs
summary: every time you try to answer to alfred's questions, the only answer your mind comes up with is 'i'd love to'.
warnings: none, not even one, as clean as christmas snow just for you sweetie<3
word count: idk, but i know is a lot.
You could hear the familiar slow humming approaching you, recognizing him even before he tried to awkwardly tap your shoulder gently, indicating he was in a good mood and that was pleasant to you.
"Good morning" he greeted with a smile walking past to you.
"Hey" you stopped moping a bit to smile back at him and taking a deep breath, you saw his eyes gleam a bit, "welcome back!" you said with enthusiasm after not seeing him for a week.
He had traveled to the Caribbean to study a new kind of fish that was found in recent expeditions as a support researcher, and though you didn't know much about the subject you had been a good listener when he gave you his pitch on it.
You knew he was a bit clumsy to make friends, he was grateful when you approached him first that very first day of work at the college where he started teaching. When he spilled his coffee all over the recently mopped floor, instead of yelling and being mad you were patient enough to tell him you would take care of it and wish him luck.
From the moment he stopped to make his usual small talk to the confused frown he gave you, you could only stare in awe to his adorable excitement before he completed his question, and when he saw you babbling back trying to come up with a coherent answer, he re-did his questioning.
"So what do you think about it?" his gaze seemed determined, the poor man was so focused in studying your reaction that he didn't notice your struggle to find more suitable words.
"I'd love to" you replied as soon as you could.
"Great, then I'll see you at noon at my cubicle to work it out" he nodded swiftly and moved forward to his cubicle to keep working on his new project without more word, maybe a bit too confident about what happened.
On the other hand, you were unsure and confused, what did you agree to? Why did he want to see you outside? And at noon? Did he want to chat? Does he want to invite you coffee? No! Be realistic.
He might as well just want you to help him to meticulously clean his dissected butterflies collection, the one nobody else is allowed to get near to but you, the smile on his face when he realized you were delicate enough to appreciate the brittle nature of his inert friends, to understand you couldn't just move them around or they could vanish in time forever immortalized only in his memory, and the way you had said you would love to help — such a nice gesture from you.
Giving it a second thought, it wasn't such a bad idea, not a lot of people get to be this close to their crushes, it was harmless interaction, that was all. Friendship was enough for you.
The new problem at hand was for Alfred, to whom friendship wasn't enough anymore. He had grown to like you, your sweetness and compassion was unexpected but greatly received, the small talks and the jokes you shared were the icing of his cake, he was truly interested in you. But, were you in him?
As his ex-wife had exposed to him before, he was nothing but a wee man with big crushed dreams, out of even the most homunculus creature's league, but, was his love out of your league too? Would you picture him as the smallest creature to ever exist as well?
You were invaluable to his heart, not amount of time was enough to share space with you. It felt meant to be right from the start, you were the order to his walking chaos, the remedy to all illnesses, together you were the coffee and cream. Not the chrysalises of a bhutan glory or the medusas floating shimmering in the Pacific ocean could compare to the buzzing his heart made at the mere presence of yours.
» 'Will they like this?' 'Would they enjoy that?'; Was all he could think of as he rearranged his whole cubicle, moving objects and cleaning around, tidying everything so you wouldn't think he had only invited you to clean like all the other past times. He hadn't even had the time to tell you a word when you were already mopping — assuming the same mean things all others assumed, including your boss.
He had heard countable times how your boss had reprimanded you for the silliest things since he started working there. Complaints about students stepping on wet floors and leaving foot marks (as if they hadn't seen the signs), of little children from parents visiting almost falling on wet floors (as if their parents weren't to blame) or dirty dishes and food stains on the professor's break room's table (as if anyone couldn't clean themselves their own spaces), every fault fell on you.
But now, he was ready, he felt completely ready! He had a trip to Morocco, and as crazy as it sounded, he wanted you to join him, and you had said you'd love to. He had been saving courage, holding his heart on his hand waiting patiently for the moment where he would give it to you, and when he heard your soft knocking, he dropped the pen he was writing on and stepped up to greet you. When you opened the door, you saw him trip with a chair, and a tender smile formed on your lips.
"Practicing parkour, I see" you teased, your gaze roaming over the room — he cleaned it.
"Breaking a bone, more likely" he chuckled, brushing his hair with his hand, clearing his throat nervously, and leaning on the edge of his desk.
His gaze was unintentionally intense, staring at you in a way you could only describe as oddly endearing,
"So, what can I help you with? I think you have everything sorted out" you motioned to his whole office being in perfect state.
He felt an inward disappointment at your assumption, though not unexpected, he truly couldn't make you see that you were more than a machine to him. He came closer to you, passing a hand through the back of his hair, and as much as his heart felt deafening against his chest, he had to pour it out.
"Well, just discuss what I told you earlier" he saw you nervous at this mention, and he felt a little confused at your own confusion, so elaborated further, "that I wanted to invite you to my trip, uhm, the project I've been working on, the—" he fell silent, as you held your head forward with that adorable furrowed brow.
"Trip?!" The tone in which you said it made him notice you had just said 'yes' to not meet his disappointment at your denial.
He felt as if he had pressured you now, and you could see his subtly slumped arms and facial expression decay.
"I know nothing about marine life, Alfred, I would be like a fish learning how to ride a bike" you shrugged, the comparison making you cringe of how cheesy that could sound.
But he never minded your quirks, her loved them, he cleared his throat, swallowing his nervousness.
"I don't want you to come as a researcher, I want you to come with me as my friend and—" he paused, a long pause, one that immersed both of you on a deep silence.
You could almost hear his thoughts, and by the way he was blushing, you couldn't believe this was happening. He felt embarrassed that you could read him so assertive, like an instructions manual, and the softening of your gaze made him soften in return.
"Please say yes". He pleaded, in a courtesy manner.
You almost dropped the rubber gloves you were holding in one of your hands, he was practically asking you to leave your job and join him on a six months trip to an distant country to study maritime life with you as if it was just another Tuesday. Realization hitting you.
"You fancy me?" the question made by you, made him want to shake you desperately.
Why would he fancy you? You stood beside his accomplishments and felt as if you had to apologize for every conversation you had with him, for taking some of his prescious time and having nothing to give him back at least a small portion of the attention he gave you.
And he felt like hiding his face out of shame everytime you smiled at him, every gentle word your lips invoked for him made him want to cry in adoration, he had always being clumsy for everything, but for the first time he wished he could be less in sake of being able to tell you every one of his gentler thoughts about you.
And as you both waited to meet the answer to that question, his gaze reassured you that whatever you both were thinking about the other, it could only be good things. He nodded finally.
"Yes", he pressed a smile to you.
And that answer stirred another round of questions you couldn't reply.
"And you would like me to quit my job and join you in a crusade?", your arched brow gave him the indication that you were at least in the slightest, pondering to do it. And he nodded again.
You were independent enough to go on your own without compromising anyone's safety or dependence on your funds, that and the rushing feeling of accepting adventure, plus the excitement of sharing trip with him, plus the adrenaline of knowing you liked him too.
It was a good thing you brought the mop because you felt like throwing up.
"Why?!" you finally managed to blurt out in disbelief.
"I'd love to" he mumbled, awkwardness aside, and the subtle heat that colored your cheeks made him know he had chose the perfect words to summarize everything he wanted to convey as an explanation for the importance of your presence on that trip.
When you quit to your job, your boss had warned you, you'd have to resign with not being able to retake your current job position at your return, and though in the past it could have worried you, now that you were holding hands with Alfred on your the flight seats with destination to Morocco, you couldn't care less.
"Another kiss?" he leaned closer to you again, not able to resist kissing that lovely smile adorning your lips since the day he decided to confess to you.
"I'd love to".
Author's Note: Oh boy! I'm going to be honest and confess, I pirated this movie to watch it and write this for you😳, that's why it took me so long 😩, every illegal platform I clicked on ¡BAM! Instant block, and I got frustrated and couldn't do it, at the end I watched it with the worst quality ever but I don't regret it, for you I will pirate again, don't tempt me (actually, please do), anyways I hope you like it and if you don't it's okay, print it and burn it, you can send me the video, I would do it too😭, I loved writing for you because honestly I didn't know if you would ask me for a request and you're my first request ever 🥺👉🏻👈🏻, I feel honored so, whenever you want anything just ask for it friend, the gates of my dm's are always open for you🩷
Author's Second Note: this was a request I wrote for @loycspotting-thee2 that I just recently logged in and learned is no longer here, don't really know the reasons but I hope you're doing ok, tbh I lost the password to this account in the course of the last year and couldn't log in anymore, I recently got the account back and finished this work, so this is for you, and keep in mind my dm's are truly open for you, no matter the timezone or if it's to vent or anything, you were my first reader and those things aren't easy to forget, if you ever need a friend, though we don't know each other, I hope we can be, and since I have my account back, I'll make sure not to lose it if you ever come back looking for a friend, I send you my sincerest love<3
If you liked this and want a request, check my rules on my profile and submit it on my asks mailbox, requests are currently open.
warning(s): [ MDNI +18 ] no use of y/n, afab!reader, use of petnames (hon/honey) eventual smut, 18+ dark content, yandere dynamics, minors do not interact.
word count: 2,6k.
summary: years have been passing by, years where nothing seemed to be fortunate for Doctor Stephen Strange on his quest for greatness that until the key of happiness presented in front of him, you.
CHAPTER TWO.
You splashed the water and rubbed your skin harshly, the cooling sensation wasn’t enough to wash away the fact that you just got out of one of the most embarrassing interviews in your life. You surely never thought the day one of them could surpass your first job interview would come, but you were just living it now.
Your reflection gave away how much you did not want to go out, mostly because you weren't in the mood to put your face in front of Stephen, you wanted to avoid him like the plague, lock yourself inside your cubicle all day and kiss goodbye the bother to over explain what you meant back there — you knew he would want an apology.
Apology for what? For nothing, it was clear you didn't owe any explanations, yet, how could you be so cruel to hurt little doctor Stephen Strange's feelings?
And as you left the bathroom, you didn't walk too far until you saw with the corner of your eye that he was getting closer to you. You walked pretty fast, you had years of practice during the residency, however, he was taller and his long legs gave him the enough advantage to walk faster than you and to block your entrance to the room with his arm.
"Hey" he smoothly said, leaning his arm on the threshold to block you from entering.
You crossed your arms and sighed.
"Hey" you replied, a bit harshly.
"I don't mean to give it more importance than the one it had at its moment, but" the emphasis on that damn syllable was it, "what was that…? You know, the…" He did signs with his hands, pointing fingers and feigning disgust.
He was mimicking you, exaggerating every aspect of your denial in the intimacy of your relationship, he was offended and you knew it was going to happen, he was just trying to register how could you dismiss your "friendship" like that. He chuckled.
"It was the truth" your tone had an obvious tone, "we've never been more than colleagues" you shrugged, taking his forearm to pass through below it.
"Well, I thought we were past that" he, like in little occasions, was hesitant, and that caused you to be hesitant too.
"How exactly?".
"We're friends" he was embarrassed now, by the way he scratched his chin, "we had known each other for years, sometimes you know what I'm going to say before I say it or guess what I want to eat…" he was quickly interrupted.
"That doesn't make us friends", you were forthright, "that just tells me I know your habits" you stepped in front of him and he was sure he felt his heartbeat fastening just from having you this close alone.
"To me, that's what a friendship sounds like" he disagreed with your vision and the war was just starting, "how am I not your friend?" he reproached.
You tilted your head and gave him a serious expression, what you were about to say wasn't going to be nice to him, nonetheless, not saying it could carry serious consequences to both in your professional setting.
“When’s my birthday?”, he gave you a quirky expression to make clear he didn’t understand why you brought up that question, “okay, I’ll use a different one, what am I allergic to?”
“Peanuts” he answered immediately with an obvious smirk, and it could have meant a small victory if only it wasn't because he was wrong.
You gave a small tired sigh and crossed your arms.
“I’m allergic to sunflowers”, your voice had that mixture of tiredness and seriousness that he only heard in you when performing in the operating room and you could see a bit of genuine sadness in his eyes before trying to turn it up on you.
“And when is my birthday?” He didn’t mean to be completely insolent, but how else could he play victim?
“November sixth”.
Smooth and blunt. You were so sure of yourself because you were right, and his twitching smile desperately covering the frustration caused by your good memory —and therefore lack of his— on his face gave away that he hadn't been doing his homework properly. His interests weren't where they should be.
“It’s easy to guess,” he said nonchalantly, trying to take the weight out of your words, yet even his puppy dog eyes brightly looking back at yours showed how impressed he was that you cared to remember —because he knew you weren’t the type to remember numbers so easily.
“Except everyone else’s birthdates are in March or May or June” your slight revelation gave him the chance to make a new guess at your birth date, and with no hesitation he babbled an answer.
“June twenty-first!”.
It wasn’t your birth date, it was another co-worker’s.
“No, and stop guessing, it’s not a game, Stephen!” you shut your eyes and scrunched your nose, "what I mean is, when was the last time you did something nice for me or anybody besides yourself?" He opened his mouth and raised his finger to make a sharp point before being interrupted. "And I mean something without expecting to earn anything back from me, something that doesn't involve work or trying to pick me up".
He felt like a schoolboy now. Shy and embarrassed, he hadn’t felt like that since eighth grade, when one of his classmates made fun of the shape of his nose, except you were now making fun of his feelings. He never had the intention of thinking badly about you, nonetheless, the evidence was there, and when his raised finger slowly fell down and his chest deflated, you started to have second thoughts about what was happening between you two. He looked truly devastated by your words.
You walked to him and placed a hand in his forearm, a simple contact that made him feel nude at his recently found vulnerability against you, he felt his blushing cheeks like a mask, improper of himself even, making his shame somewhat bigger. But your gaze was never judgemental, it was compassionate —what would always make you, in his eyes, the one.
“I’m sorry if I’m hurting you with my words” your gaze flickered from his eyes to the background nervously in an attempt to make the situation better, “but I'd rather be honest than lie to your face. I don’t love you. You care about me and I will always be grateful” even when breaking his heart you looked lovely “but I don’t think I’ll be able to care about you the same way you intend to care about me”.
“But— But, I like you” he quickly babbled, “and I know you like me too, I can see it in your eyes” he quickly argued, trying to save the situationship between you two, to make things better.
He was never frontal about his feelings for you, and it was clear this was surprising you, and the fact that you were aware of how he felt just made it more difficult. Stephen was so sure you felt the same way he couldn't understand why you would turn down the opportunity to be together —to be with him.
“That isn't enough” you said with a firm tone, shaking your head and softly tilting it to the side, your shoulders carrying Stephen's disappointment, “liking is not loving”.
It was true, for as long humanity had conveyed the very human condition, it was implied that although loving had the secret ingredient of desiring in the mixture of ágape, it was not vice versa. Desire is not love, as well as, obsession is not the same as being in love.
“So, I'm unlovable?” he was being defensive now.
“That's not what I said” you argued back, scratching your forehead with frustration. “Chemistry is not love, habits are not love, competition either, love is the daily decision of giving, not something you earn as a prize” it didn't matter how much it was explained to him, he didn't want to understand, he was in a total denial of what was going on.
One could expect he would be ready to accept this little defeat, but it wasn't precisely what was going on inside Stephen's mind, he wasn't ready to let go, to lose against a weak opponent such as you. You just didn't realize what you wanted yet —you wanted him.
“I don't think you're a prize” he tried to assure you, to make you understand you were so much more to him than a simple award in his collection.
You were all. You were the question and the answer, the thin line between paradise and hell, the illness and the cure, an itch he couldn't scratch to ease his mind, the only thing in the world he couldn't have and the one he wanted to deserve the most, you were his love and his disgust, all at once.
“And I didn't say I was” you replied quickly, it wasn't an accusation, but it sounded like one.
At that moment he knew he would only make it worse up to that point. None of you had acknowledged yet that he had implied before —and multiple times— his perception of you.
“Listen,” he murmured trying to find in his mind the words that would make himself be convinced if he was you, “I know how this sounds, but it's not like that” the offensive turned defensive, he didn't see it as positive for you to remark this innocent mistake.
“Then how is it?” you didn't even give him a chance to spit an argument to sweeten up your ears, “I'm not ‘something’ Stephen, I'm someone, it was sweet at first but now it's becoming a problem how you—”.
“Oh, now I'm a problem?” he asked with spite, his mind clouding with every judgmental thought that had ever crossed his mind while thinking about you.
“When people start to wonder about my sex life and if it involves you uhm… Yes!” she didn't even blink or flinch, you had a reason to be evasive and he couldn't reason it now “what do you think people will think about that?”
It would give off the notion that you climbed your way to the top the dirtiest way, something that was unquestionably untrue. Except people wouldn't assume it was untrue, they would give you the looks to announce they already know, and to him the shoulder pats as if receiving an award, the not so subtle ways to denote the prize for the affair.
“So you give importance to what people say?” He asked to test how much you cared for appearances.
If that's what you wanted, he could give you that. The thrill of being secret lovers, of no one else knowing what you two did under the sheets, to fulfill your rawest fantasies in the dim of the unknown.
"When it starts to interfere in how people perceive I interact with my work space, yeah", you were insistent on the matter, not letting him unfold as the poor tormented man who wanted to show the world he was not ashamed of loving you, because that was his truth.
"Very well then, I guess you don't appreciate my company as much as I do yours".
Those words held a spooky weight on you, you didn't want to let your mind wander too much on the thought that he didn't want to work with you anymore since the success you both had reached was thanks to team work —and you weren't afraid to admit he was important to you. For a couple of seconds you pondered if that was worth the risk of trying to convince him to think otherwise, of what you actually thought about him and his performance as a doctor, about his talent and his company, nonetheless, he would not take it as a friendly complement but a triumph, his arrogant self would be full of them, or even in the worse of scenarios, a declaration of love. Yo sighed, deciding to let things end here in this determined note.
"Look Stephen, if that's what you think, who am I to say you're wrong?" your eyes let him know you haven't given up, you just agreed to disagree defiantly and move on knowing uncomfortability was a risk you were willing to take.
And he didn’t like that. He had no choice but to accept it for now, but he disliked the fact you were mature enough to cross words about sensitive topics between you two and not fall for his deceiving emotional blackmail, it triggered his utmost furious nature and he wouldn’t be satisfied until you paid for it.
“See you” you cut out his brief try of continuing the conversation and went ahead with your other tasks for the evening, your morning had already been ruined and getting the chances of having a mildly decent rest of the day was a burden you were focusing on.
Your mind let go of the subject for a couple of hours till the sun hidden, on the other side, Stephen would think of it twisting it and twirling inside his brain like a chicken rotisserie.
“Ooh” Dr. Bruner intended to walk past you on the line for the cafeteria food before it closed, seeing your face it was not possible to not notice you, you needed another coffee if you wanted to keep being functional “bad day, huh?”.
You turned and smiled at her pressing your lips awkwardly, bags under your eyes not visible yet, both still knew that wouldn’t last, you were modern Cinderella, with the exception that instead of having cute little animal friends helping you out and a handsome prince waiting for you, you would have undereye bags, a tremor in your left hand due to caffeine and red puffy eyes by the end of the shift.
“You have no idea” the words slurred from your mouth, eliciting a giggle that spread to Dr. Bruner’s face as well, however, quickly turned into concern.
“I think I kind of have it, sorry” she was apologizing before time, which made you take out energy out of the deepest insides of your body and start to pay her full attention, “Stephen told me all about it”.
When she said he told her “all about it”, you could only guess he would tell his part of the conflict and cause some type of pity to awaken compassion from others, in the case of that happening, fortunately you both knew he was spreading misinformation to confuse his whole circle. Nasty and old trick he used.
“Please, tell me all about it” the curiosity of knowing what he had made up about you intrigued you —burned you— to no end.
“Oh no, he’s telling everyone nice things about you” she admitted with a sense of awe and kind of shame “and asking everyone to watch the interview tomorrow”.
You furrowed your brow “why?”, she shrugged.
"I don't know, I just wanted to warn you, this time he is really pissed".
You wanted to believe it was just a tantrum, that it’ll pass.
“He’ll get over it, he’s a big kid,” you took your coffee and walked outside to drink it alone in the window Box near the parking lot.
A pair of eyes were lurking through the big tall window in his office, Stephen found so much pleasure in watching you enjoy the simple things in your life, such as the refined coffee he had asked the hospital’s cook to change specially for you out of his bill, he wouldn’t let you drink the same nasty things other —inferior— people drank.
And still, you were angry at him, resistant and closed. Oh, how much he desired for you to see him as what he was, just a man in love.
author's note: hello hello! sorry that it took so long to post this continuation, i've been working on this wip for months and just now i had an inspirational spree to finish it in a tone i liked, also had to re write the plot a couple of times but i'll do my best to post continuously, thank you for reading!!
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Aww hello there beautiful! ^^ I am enchanted by this lovely message, how are you tho? I hope you're doing great 🩷, I have a pendant matter with you in my drafts, I hope I can finish it up soon for you to read, I send my love to you<33
