nothing to see here

31 / He/Him / ED / MDD / BPD / CPTSD / ASPD / Panic Disorder / SH / Pro-Recovery (Just not for me atm) used to be @burgol

[thought-i-could-be-better]

Finally making an intro post

about me

My name is Matt, some people call me Goop.

lvl 31, birthday on January 11th. Capricorn

Born and raised in Winnipeg Manitoba, Canada

I usually just go by he/him but to be honest I don't really care what pronouns you give me.

Single, have been for the last decade

I've been on tumblr since 2009, previously as @burgol but I deleted that blog due to privacy reasons about 4 and a half years ago.

I struggle with a lot of things, and you'll find posts relating to each of them on this blog. Although they are not organized or tagged you will come across a wide variety of mental/emotional struggles. With some yearning and pretty pictures sprinkled throughout. I do try to keep it bleak and consistent though

This is not, and has never been a blog to promote unhealthy behaviors or any kind of struggle/mental illness. This is a blog I made only for me, as a place for me to express my feelings and thoughts in a safe place away from prying eyes.

You're welcome to be here if you want to be, if not I'd prefer you block

My moots are always welcome to interact or dm me, I will always respond although I may be slow some days when I am not doin well.

Moots can ask for discord - I will not post it here

I am a music enjoyer, I can't live without it. This is my spotify if anybody wants it - https://open.spotify.com/user/7d4xls574gok81bcwyjvfr0u6?si=5acb011ad5114830

Mmm, what else. I love animals, but I am most certainly a cat person. I have 1 cat named Bean who is spoiled beyond words but he is family and I would kill for him if I had to.

I tattoo casually, all the tattoos I have on my body I have done myself. I draw, although not as much as I should be and I don't really ever post pictures of it. My header is the only picture I drew that I have on this tumblr.

Do like to cook, you can find some pictures of this on my tumblr but I really should post more.

I like books, although I have fallen behind and need to get my shit together at some point and start reading some of these.

I like a lot of things, nature, abandoned places, watching shitty people get what they deserve. Rain/foggy weather ♥

Tea drinker, do drink coffee as well or monsters -pink/white preferably. If I am drinking alcohol I prefer vodka or red wine.

I smoke too much weed

ED Stuff Below

For context I am 6ft tall, male.

CW - 116 lbs

BMI - 15.6

LW - 106.1 lbs (14.4 BMI)

SW - idk whatever I weighed in grade 4

HW - 132 lbs

GW1 - 105 lbs

GW2 - 100 lbs

GW3 - 95 lbs

I exercise often, focusing on cardio and upper body strength. Things like push-ups (I can only do 100 on a good day, normally more like 70) - I don't log exercises in my tracking app, maybe I will start at some point

I am obsessed with my appearance although I feel both too skinny and too big at the same time. It's very conflicting but I feel just gross about my looks always.

My safe foods are berries #1, my favorite used to be raspberries but Tori converted me into a blackberry enjoyer. No regrets

I'm a junkorexic, I like chips and candies - tasty things. But I do eat a lot of healthy food too.

I never purge, I only restrict and it's been that way for 21 years. Never been hospitalized for my ed (no tube forced upon me, yet).

The longest I've restricted was 8 days, I don't recommend anybody go further than 3 tbh. It's not necessary at all.

Thats it for now I think, I'll update as time goes on. Thank you for taking the time to read 🐈‍⬛

[petaltexturedskies]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter to her mother Aurelia, wr. c. June 1951, from Letters Home: Correspondence 1950-1963

[gothredy]

[petaltexturedskies]

John Steinbeck, Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters

[crying--is--okay]

[gagylenok]

автор

[lifeinpoetry]

“I am aflame. Around me, everything dies.”

— Camille Rankine, from “Self-Portrait as Allegory,” published in jubilat

[itsascrewedupworld]

[ojibwa]

[thought-i-could-be-better]

Making some of these 🤤

[sizzlingcandyj3llyf1sh]

I drink til I’m drunk, smoke til I’m high

[thought-i-could-be-better]

My biggest weed plant is male, fuck me. I had to move it

Fingers crossed the other one is female

[thought-i-could-be-better]

Locked in doing laundry

[heartpeacenquiet]

[greenlabcoat]

when you have a hammer everything looks like a guy you could kill with a hammer

[thought-i-could-be-better]

I forgot about my laundry in the wash last night 😭 what am I supposed to wear there's like nothing clean cause I am an idiot

[loveridden1999]

person (non-practicing)