Butts
This is the shit posting I came for.

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Jules of Nature
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@thoughtfullyqualitydonut
Butts
This is the shit posting I came for.
@thoughtfullyqualitydonut liked for a starter
“Can’t stay at home, can’t stay at school Old folks say, ya poor little fool Down the street I’m the girl next door I’m the fox you’ve been waiting for~”
Hello Daddy, hello Mom I’m your ch ch ch ch ch c h e r r y b o m b Hello world I’m your wild girl I’m your ch ch ch ch ch c h e r r y b o m b”
“Well aren’t we excited today~” Alec chimed happily, smiling at Mike. “How long have you been singing that for now?” he chuckled. “I’d say too long.”
Mikey let a out a fit of giggles and shook his head in disagreement. “Nuh-uh, I just started it.”
He smiled. "Maybe I'll put you in a singing contest you little cherry bomb."
“Oh- oh god-” He steps back when Alec returns with the corpse, color draining from his face. He bursts into tears, shaking badly. “Mike… A-alec, how could you?! He was j-just my friend…! Oh god-” he cups his face over his mouth, feeling like hes going to be sick.
Oohhh, yeah. This is going great.
Mike waits until he’s in the perfect position. Wait, wait for it…Act dead a little longer…C’mon, look scared…Oh, yep, Mort’s reaction is exactly what they’d wanted and…now!
“BOO!” He suddenly shouts, coming free from the other’s grasp and leaping up toward Mort. “April Fools!” He laughs, pointing at the other male. “Gotcha good, huh, Phone Guy?!”
“Oh my god- oh-” He cuts himself off, screaming loudly and stumbling backwards, tripping and falling on his ass as he does. What the fuck? What the fuck???
“M-m-mike? Alec?!” he looks between the two of them wide eyed, tears rolling down his face rapidly. What the FUCK?
Alec jumps a bit himself, but smiled wide and laughed with Mike, until he saw Mort crying. "No, no sweetheart it's okay! It was a joke!" He went over to him, trying to hug him.
@thoughtfullyqualitydonut liked for a starter
“Can’t stay at home, can’t stay at school Old folks say, ya poor little fool Down the street I’m the girl next door I’m the fox you’ve been waiting for~”
Hello Daddy, hello Mom I’m your ch ch ch ch ch c h e r r y b o m b Hello world I’m your wild girl I’m your ch ch ch ch ch c h e r r y b o m b”
“Well aren’t we excited today~” Alec chimed happily, smiling at Mike. “How long have you been singing that for now?” he chuckled. “I’d say too long.”
“No. No I saw you look… you looked at him like you used to look at me.” he frowned, “You gave him those eyes… and it was then I knew he had to go. I had to make sure he’d never take you.”
“What- Alec, what are you t-talking about?” he whimpers. “Oh my god… Alec, all i ever did was t-talk with him, there was n-nothing…! No ‘looks’… Oh my god, alec, d-did you really kill him…? he tears up. He liked Mike, considered him a friend.
“Yes. You did, and yes. I did.” he turned to look in the other room, “Here. I’ll show you what’s left.” he went into the room, a few noises could be heard, and Alec chuckling a bit more. He was pulling Mike by his other arm, Mike was pale and limp, a look of horror frozen on his face, as if Alec was dismembering him at that moment. “See? No more Mike. No more problems.”
I’m gonna ask a weird question
But uh, like… at what age should you… start? paying for your parents for i fucking guess raising you? I used to give my mom around 800$ a week when i was 6-8 years old, and and when i was 9 i gave her 25,000$ im unsure what she did with the money cause she was poor again , in less then a year. but i know she bought a 15,000$ van new and broke it in 2 months cause she messed up the transmission. and any time I want to go to the store or buy food, I always have to pay her back,, since…i was 10? plus i always pay for gas to go to the store 15-40$ like idk i never not thought this wasnt normal??? i assumed if you get money and as a child you are suppost to give most of it to your mother/father whatever the fuck or who ever the fuck takes care of you??. i legit cant get cash and not feel the need to give it to someone. I just got my paycheck for my 1 day of work was 260$ and I felt so scared and fucking…jittery telling my mom i only got 60$ from my 1 day of work 8(hours). i spend 60$ on face cleaning, shit and pizza and a baking pan (dont judge me) My brother made me lie so i wouldn’t have to give my mom money, but its weird i feel weird lying Idk like as a child of your parents, or whatever how much are you suppose to give em?! rent or basic foods, and such?
, But isnt that how it works? a child is suppost to support their parents? I mean..personally ..i..i think that if you had a fucking child, you could always abort, or wear a fucking condom, but if you kept it and raised it, its..just their responsibility ? a basic fucking proper human raising its child, but everybody in real life always tells me that i should be lucky that my parents raised me , well they really didnt but they did. its not like they taught me anything or were their for me in my time of need , or was able to even keep me proper shelter but i aint dead cause of my mom and dad. arnt i suppose to repay that? or do i just cut ties and never see them again? cause seemly those are my only 2 options. Honestly im not just sure what makes a good parent, i always use movies as references on how a parent is. you know how wierd it fucking is for me seeing a child cuss infront of a parent ? or a parent actually play with their kid? fucking weird alien shit to me. but then again having a mom and dad in the same time is weird and rare for me to see also. Other countries always take care of their parents, mexico , and Asia does it….isnt that normal? or not…
It’s perfectly normal to take care of your parents, but only if you want to. Your mother was taking advantage of you as a child and screwed you out of a lot of money because (on purpose or not) she manipulated you into giving her that money, she made you feel like you HAD to do it. A child has no concept of money and even if they do it is unfair for a far older person to tell them what to do with the money (Other than, in the case of the 25k ‘put it in a bank’)
The people you’ve talked to I’m going to assume are older, or have much better households (if they don’t I still stand by my next statement) people often don’t understand home situations outside their own and if theirs is good, or long gone, they’ll have very different opinions to your home based on what they THINK it’s like, rather than what it’s actually like.
Your mother should not have taken that money, and by the sounds of the end of the post I can tell you haven’t had a ‘normal’ childhood, I’m not going to say it was bad or good, that’s for you to decide, but your you shouldn’t have to pay for your parents raising you. They chose to keep you, they chose to try and care for you, and that is their mental, physical, and financial responsibility. Not yours.
“M-Mike… he was… he was getting between us.” he smiled wide. “Now he can’t. He’ll never get between us again, go ahead… call for him… try and see him, he won’t answer, I did a good job, even Enoch was impressed.” He looked down at himself. “I… I got messy, but that’s all! We can fix that, we can fix the mess and then we’ll be happy.”
“Wh-what!?” His body tenses up. Mike? He was the new night guard, right? What the hell was Alec talking about, ‘getting between them’? “You… Oh my god, Alec!” he screams again, backing up further. “Why!? Mike- oh my god, Alec, i was j-just helping him do his j-job!”
“No. No I saw you look... you looked at him like you used to look at me.” he frowned, “You gave him those eyes... and it was then I knew he had to go. I had to make sure he’d never take you.”
@uh-hellohello
Alec stood in the halls of the restaurant, covered in a dark red and brown liquid. He had a wild look on his face, much like Enoch had always had, except this looked fresh, full of adrenaline. Alec’s hair was out of it’s tie and messy around his shoulder. “M-Mortimer… Morty it’s over…” he smiled, laughing dryly. “It’s over I did it!” he threw the object he’d been holding behind his back, it was half an arm… still twitching a bit. “He won’t be in the way anymore!” he looked at Mortimer, smiling through the blood. “I don’t have to worry now.”
“… Alec?” Mort hears the voice, but it doesn’t click immediately… Then he sees. He turns fully to see him, letting out a scream. “A-alec!? What did you DO!?” he shrieks, stumbling back slightly, staring at the arm that had fallen to the floor.
“M-Mike... he was... he was getting between us.” he smiled wide. “Now he can’t. He’ll never get between us again, go ahead... call for him... try and see him, he won’t answer, I did a good job, even Enoch was impressed.” He looked down at himself. “I... I got messy, but that’s all! We can fix that, we can fix the mess and then we’ll be happy.”
@uh-hellohello
Alec stood in the halls of the restaurant, covered in a dark red and brown liquid. He had a wild look on his face, much like Enoch had always had, except this looked fresh, full of adrenaline. Alec’s hair was out of it’s tie and messy around his shoulder. “M-Mortimer... Morty it’s over...” he smiled, laughing dryly. “It’s over I did it!” he threw the object he’d been holding behind his back, it was half an arm... still twitching a bit. “He won’t be in the way anymore!” he looked at Mortimer, smiling through the blood. “I don’t have to worry now.”
Look I normally respect everyone’s opinions how is anyone NOT voting for Rick????? he has so much more going on than Wretched Tooth and I Just. Don’t. Get. Why anyone would vote for Wretched Tooth? #ElectRick #RickForAll
Yes yes yes! I support Rick. Your generous support Rick needs you for your community, to win. Please, contribute to act on either side of your support, and momentum is nervous. And we keep it going! We are stepping up to win this election. Because of this journey, I know you'll be on social media! We need to win this campaign. We have you this thing. Make a critical time. #ProudRickSupporter #RickForAll !!!!
ann appliance Alliance character that is the phone
like, not the phone guy, but the actual phone
theyre yandere for Phone Guy
remind me to draw this later
-ahem- Draw it later
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
[BAM. FOX SCHMIDT]
phone guy fox!!! :3c take him home
List of reasons for admission into a mental asylum in 1864-1889
tag yourself i’m seduction & disappointment
I’m female disease
Deranged Masturbation
Fell from Horse in War
Over Action of the Mind
Overtaxing mental powers
(My favorite rps are the one with Mort! I admit I kind of read most of them from the start, they interact so well! I love how often Mort makes Mike feels/acts in different ways that he would around others, I think it's sweet? Mike and Mort are my favorite Microphone pair ^w^
[AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhh I’m so happy!!!! I’m so glad you like Mort and Mike so much!! I love them too X3]
@uh-hellohello
Yayy!!! the mike and mort threads have been some of my favorites too tbh, and i’ve been running this blog a damn long time now
Alec while he watches this on our dash