Bullshit!

The Shear amount of weird shit my head considers is too great(by volume) to not share... And I'd rather not use my twitter for this

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

At this point going out feels a lot like snow white and the seven dwarfs. It's all "hey ho, hey ho" and the only way I'm brining anything home is if I hit rock bottom.

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

My being is a mosiac of all the people I have admired and loved, therefore, to hate myself would be a great insult to all of them.

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

*Fossilized manure*

Geologist: This shit rocks!

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

TB to the time I lied to a pair of mormons because I didn’t wanna tell them I’m atheist so I told them I believed in myself

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Success and Love are quite similar, they start out passionate and intense, but soon fade into something more subtle or repetitive, and on occasion tedious. If you can’t get on board with that, you’re going to have a difficult time finding either.

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

I’m not vegan

I whisper to myself as I put an ungodly amount of cheese on my veggie-burger

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Countless can mean both

 Many

 Bad at math

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

In any trying times, remember to drink 2 liters of water a day, but do not drink it all at once, for your body will reject the gift that you have bestowed upon it and will demand more. 

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Speaking of messages in bottles, I once made one, I wrote my address on it then realised I didn't want a rando knowing where I lived, so I scribbled it out and wrote my neighbors instead, I also made sure to point out that my situation was not one that required their immidiate attention, but I was ~11 so less eloquently

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Many people compare the internet to a void, I think of it more like a message in a bottle, I don't know who sees it or how it will make them feel, but I will put it out there for someone to find if they're looking in the right places

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Should a barista be considered a coffee maker?

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

As the meds wore off and she started feeling the bandages fusing with her scorched flesh, Mrs Doubtfire began seriously reconsidering her choices

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

If I gotta be depressed!

Might as well make it a great one!

[thoughtsithoughtithought]

Courtroom lingo

Sustained = Good point

Withheld = I did Not just say that

Objection = You did Not! just say that

Contempt = Could you not

Not guilty = Did not!

Guilty = Did so!

Order! = STFU!

Your Honor = Daddy

A guide by me, as I understand it