ThoughtsofaSelfAbsorbedFool

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

I still feel icy fear when you walk in the room And yet I lock my eyes intently with yours. Because I know that this fear is misplaced Because now I see you weak and frail While I stand strong and tall. You can try to hurt the people I love But now I'm ready to take their place And fight you off with all I've got.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Tie me up and leave me to rot

Cause I’m bad for you, believe it or not.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Everything was going great Until I held your face in my hand And looked into your eyes And everything started to hurt

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Keep me simulated With colors and sounds Cuz I'm not ready To face reality

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Eyoo

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck fuck fuck fuck shit shit fuck fuck god fuckin damnit y tho

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

This thing is getting dark and ugly

I knew this would happen soon 

But I didn’t think it would be so bad

I want to find a way to extend the expiration date

But I don’t know how.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Bring me back 

To a mind-state I can recognize

Where I don’t have to fight

To keep from drowning

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Not sure if my shirt collar is too tight

Or if it actually fits me just right.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Don’t look at me.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

I hate lying to you but I’m not about to rip open my wound just to satisfy your superficial, intrusive queries.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Wish I could tell someone it’s your fault I have insomnia and it’s your fault I carry sociopathic tendencies and it’s your fault that I hate myself.  Even if that’s not entirely true.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Best way to fuck shit up: Be a sarcastic prick

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

I remember when I saw you slit your throat mom asked me why you did it. And all I could say was “that’s the fastest way to go.”

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

Isn’t it ironic how you never consider offing yourself as an option until you find the one person you want to give your life to?

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

I swear to fucking god if I had a gun in my hand I’d use it on you without any hesitation.  There’s only one thing stopping me and it isn’t the love in my heart or some inner voice.  If I had the freedom to do so, the bullet would already be in your fucking head.

[thoughtsofaselfabsorbedfool]

It was stupid of me to think I could care for another person when I barely have a handle on myself. We should not have gotten together. What a stupid, selfish thing for me to do.