I have no idea what im doing

They/Them/She/Her Artist mostly draw ponies got alot of anxiety when it comes to posting tho

[threadyarts]

As if things couldn't get more annoying for me for some reason my phone will be connected to the wifi but it barely works. It shows full bars it doesn't say I'm connected but without internet its just so unbelievably slow it might as well not be connected. And its only my phone laptop is fine smart tv is fine parents devices are fine. Its only i on my phone who must suffer. I've looked up and tried some fixes but none have worked (one other "fix" I saw is factory reset which I think I'd rather die than do that) and I'm very frustrated. Thankfully I do have mobile data and thats working fine but I would like to use wifi... please? Maybe it will fix itself after a while? I really don't know what else to do (ok well I haven't reset the router yet I might try that tomorrow I don't wanna do that without getting permission from my parents). The universe hates me again.

[threadyarts]

So uhhh yeah still havent really finished any art Ive been too focused on playing project zomboid in my free time I'm gonna have to start pushing myself to lock in and finish shit.

Its also been what 2 weeks since my last post? Because I keep forgetting that like Tumblr exists and that I can post stuff and just yap into the void here. So uh ig I'll yap about current life stuff.

My house ac isn't working. It first broke like little over a month ago and we got it fixed last week but it only lasted like 3 days and then it stopped working again. Last week we also didn't have any water because the well pump broke. Thankfully we were only without water for a day and we got a new pump the old one was from 1997 apparently. No idea how old our ac unit is but I'd imagine pretty old and we might have to get it replaced. We Thankfully already had some like portable ac unit things to try and help keep the house cool (think some of them can also do heat) and one has been set up in my room. I didn't mind the house being warm since I do prefer warmer temps but having the portable unit will be helpful to not get too warm and keep the house temperature consistent. This thing is so loud tho like I feel this is going to make it hard to sleep (writing this at 1am I might make an update edit when I wake up) it is already annoying when trying watch things on my tv or play games since I can hear it through my headphones. Hopefully we can get the house ac sorted out.

Update I did manage to sleep ok enough I think during the night is actually would shut off occasionally. It still made it a bit hard to fall asleep I had to pull blankets over my ears to dampen the sound (I can't use really earplugs since I need there to be some sound to fall asleep if its too quiet I feel uneasy).

[threadyarts]

Im going to try and post some thoughts every now and then and ig I'll start here.

How about a kinda long ramble rant thing on my feelings/experience with bugs. This has sprung forth because about 2am when leaving my room to use the bathroom I saw my cat staring at a hallway closet (its one with the wooden slats) and she meowed at me to tell me something was inside. I pushed the door which clicked it fully closed and then heard the buzz of a larger flying insect inside so I immediately backed away back to my room where I now write up this post trying to remain calm.

I'm not very good with bugs (using it as a general term even if not all things I'll mention are technically 'bugs') while I do find some quite interesting, like some spiders, mantises, and moths, others really put me on edge. I live out in a wooded area so I feel bugs wandering inside is more common, like winter we see alot of stink bugs come in to escape the cold. I can somewhat deal with stink bugs until it comes to them flying. The buzzing sounds insects make when they fly freaks me and its worse for larger ones. Sometimes waps/hornets get into the house and its double bad the buzzing they make then they fly is terrifying but they can sting as well and if its Summer they can end up more aggressive. But the ones that often bother me the most are roaches. Last year was particularly bad they would come through vents into my room they were in the bathroom when multiple times going into the kitchen at night id turn on the light and there would be multiple of them about. It often felt like there was not escape that they were everywhere all the time I felt paranoid looking around constantly to make sure none were on the wall/ceiling behinds doors in the sinks. We get the larger ones out here which is a blessing and a curse. They may be easier to spot I think less likely to form an infestation but the size is very scary and when you get the ones that fly its again that horrible sound that makes my skin crawl. Often when I see a roach all I can do for a while is stand there in fear watching it, because if you look away and lose sight it will dissappear and roam free. If one touches me for hours it still feels like its crawling on me. I have the fear that smaller ones will crawl into my ears while I sleep. It feels like they know just how to violate my space where the worst place to be is and show up exactly there. They can run away so quickly and their stupid flat bodies let they hide under almost anything. I don't know if i have Katsaridaphobia (fear of cockroaches) or what but they fill me with such dread. Sometimes even photos or depictions in a game get me on edge ex: looking up the phobia the stupid ai overview put a photo of a roach next to the definition and it made me want to throw my phone away, playing houseflipper I thought would be ok and not need to turn on katsaridaphobia mode (replaces roaches with glass shards) but as soon as I got to the first job with roaches and I saw them crawling my stomach dropped out of my ass I felt the blood leave my face and had to immediately change the setting, and playing project zomboid the little icon for roaches always catches me off guard and I have to quickly look away I can't look at it for too long without my skin feeling weird and thats like a tiny little icon! I honestly feel almost the same level of fear for roaches as there being a wasp in the house, and again the wasps are scary as fuck! And it sucks because I struggle with cleanliness and keeping tidy which means more things that are appealing to roaches!!!

[threadyarts]

Emerges from cave

Man I've been gone for like... a month. It will still probably take me a while to get back into being active I'm going to try tho. I probably won't be posting art every single time because productivity has been a snails pace with everything going on in life. I uh had a very bad start to the month... The short of it is my girlfriend of seven years cheated on me and that relationship is now over. Its been a real shock to the system there's more layers to it that make the situation even more frustrating but I don't want to throw all of that out publicly. I am doing better than I was when everything was happening but obviously its an uphill battle. So uhhhh here some vent art related to the situation and how I've been feeling its kinda messy but eh. Also some text to go with the art in read more just some of what I was feeling when making it.

It's truly a strange feeling, someone being a part of your life for so long, to have been in love with them for so long, and it all just to be gone. Part of it hurts in the way when someone dies, that pain of losing someone you loved, them no longer being there in your life. But there's an extra layer of hurt knowing they do still exist, they are out there, they aren't gone from the world, just your life. It's hard to just erase how long someone had been in your heart, even after they've done something that crushed it to pieces. It hurts so deeply part of them still lingers like a parasite. I don't know how long it will take for it to let go. I want it to. I want to stop thinking about it. I want to move on. I know it takes time, but how I wish it could just be gone in the snap of my fingers. Part of my world seemed to crumble so quickly, and I wish the pain left over could crumble just as fast. For it to follow down the drain into nothingness.

[threadyarts]

My friend @frenchiefreyed drew Torbek at my request. I love this so much hes so unbelievably sad!!! I've been going through some shit and this image just reflects how I feel man! I also just love torbek and have been thinking/talking about him to cheer myself up some.

She drew it with her mouse too. I feel that's important to share.(frenchie gave me permission to post)

[threadyarts]

Finaly finished something digital!!! Eclipse Drop in all their glory!!!

I think this came out really nice! I do enjoy the design but the split colors do get a bit challenging to draw. I'm still working on Stormy just off and on with working on more pony art and playing games.

[threadyarts]

I don't have a good drawing to share today but I feel the urge to show off my bjd collection. Its all ones from those blind box things but I think they are all super neat!

They are displayed along with some other little figures all on my dresser. I really enjoy collecting figurines and stuff and have alot of other things in my room than just this maybe I'll show those off some day too.

Below are close-ups to sections of the dresser.

This is mostly just black white and red stuff I love the big cat tv head girl and the floating one called epilog is just so pretty!

A small Disney villain section wonder if you can tell who my favorite is. I do adore my little chernabog figure I watched fantasia alot as a kid since we had a DVD of it. I still have alot of DVDs actually especially of classic animated Disney movies.

I had found this cool shelf and wanted to use it for some of my collection I tried to organize it around colors but the bottom shelf I didnt have many good options. This picture actually has the first two dolls I got the mermaid and the deer centaur girl! The centaur used to be on a shelf with my miku figures I just moved her down with the rest I still need a good place for her. The middle shelf is definitely my favorite its got the best composition but I do adore the mjd demon girl on the top shelf she was one of my top picks for her set!

This section doesn't have much but its still special. We have my newest addition the purple harpy like girl the lighting doesn't do her justice she's just stunning! The sheriff and bunny girl are who I have dubbed the lesbians they were once shelf mates up with miku and have been together ever since! Plus some Pokémon below because they can fit under them.

[threadyarts]

More sketches of the random pony designs I have!

This is Toxic (name may change but will be the same vibe) she was created by @frenchiefreyed with some redesign help from tsutrak! They have darker purple gradients on her legs with stripes of neon green its really cool! I imagine that they fell into some radioactive wastes that gave them the markings and second set of eyes as well as preventing hair from growing on her tail. She might even be radioactive herself now!

[threadyarts]

Maaaan I cant post consistently to save my life rn I really gotta just schedule a bunch of posts or something. Anywho art time ig?

This is Eternity she was designed by my bestie @frenchiefreyed !!! Shes very pretty I couldn't sketch out all her marking but she has more near her hooves. Eternity has a sparkly black spiderweb veil and big bow with an eyeball.

I am still working on stormy just haven't been in the biggest art moods again I'm trying tho! I'd like to draw in my bed like I used to but its not as easy with the new tablet I can't get at the right angle. It does have build in kick stand things but that doesn't work with my bed drawing set up so I ordered a cheap stand so I can prop it up at the right angle. It still gets hard to draw when you just wanna turn your brain off and play games especially after being so stressed but hopefully being able to optimize bed drawing experience will make it more appealing than playing Minecraft till my head feels like its gonna fall off.

[threadyarts]

do you think stormy would eat worms if she got hungry enough

I think she would have a hard time bringing herself to eat worms because she would feel bad for them. She would probably only do it if it was a life or death situation and she wouldn't be super happy about it.

(Quick chibi doodle of her being sad at the thought of hurting little worm)

[threadyarts]

I feel like i do struggle to draw features constantly enough but god she looks so prettyyyyyy!!!

Like i think I really cooked on this ill probably make a digital version when I finish her ref which ive been making slow progress on. I've been just dealing with alot so most days I just end up playing Minecraft to shut off my brain.

[threadyarts]

Been a hot minute since ive posted anything about the warrior wasp changeling hive and I found some doodles i did of what the babies look like (also just trying to get back into posting more so when I find/think of something I will try to post)

They do hatch from eggs and start off in more larva like forms and would go to a pupa state before emerging as foals close in size to the cmc and grow from there. I was working on an image for it but I might start over on it after I do other projects I want to do.

I need to make more reference images for other characters I have like Frosty Lantern, Cinnamon Twist, and even other designs I've bought/received from friends that I want to do more with. Theres also my kelpie mission of gathering designs from all sorts of people to make into kelpies for all different aquatic environments! I should make a post on my version of kelpies at some point and show off who I have/is lined up to become kelpies.

[threadyarts]

Been a bit since I posted since I honestly forgot. I have been working on stuff (primarily Stormy Gorge and reference sheets for her) but I don't want to share my progress on work just yet. I will say she is coming out absolutely stunning like she's so prettyyyyyy!!!

In the mean time to actually post something here's a unfinished/messy doodle of the Gorge sisters!!!

[threadyarts]

Sketch I did yesterday of Stormy since I had free time at work

Drawing people is hard but think she came out good enough

[threadyarts]

Man its been a minute since I posted, but I'm back with some finished art!!!

They were told they can't go play in the snow, but after pleading with big, sad eyes, they were given permission and are happy!

[threadyarts]

DRAWING TABLET IS HERE!!!

I can finally work on digital art again!

Made a quick doodle of spookly while testing things out

[threadyarts]

They truly are taking over my brain

Had some free time at work and started doodling the Gorge sisters these are so so messy but I think they are still cute and I can do something with these.