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god FUCKING dammit i want the home again valorant cards so BAD. i have until the end of like april to get enuf xp on my battlr pass and i told myself i wouldnt buy the battlepass until i at least reach brimstones card but the last card is CYPHER and hes level 42 and thats SO MUCH XP BECAUSE THE COMPLETION IS LVL 60.

#YOU NEED OVER 1.1 MILLION XP TO COMPLETE IT DID YOU KNOW. THATS LIKE 23 GAMES A WEEK. AND IM STARTING A WEEK LATE.#essentially: i dont think im gonna get cyphers card as much as i want it byt ill do my damnedest

one time i was playing i spy in spanish class and we were doing it in pairs so me and this guy took turns describing objects in the room (usually in colors). so he goes and before he says anything because hes still looking around and formulating a sentence in his head i look at this febreeze bottle on the other side of the room thats orange and blue and i think "hes for sure gonna say that" so he starts to say "veo algo naranja-" (or ehatever tf)and i go "its the febreeze bottle" and he goes "how did you know that" and to this day i dont know how i knew it it just made sense.

sooooooooooo fucking happy rn for like the past day or so im sooo happy im in love w life and the joys it brings with it im tearing up rn. i wish i was religious.

#mwah mwah peace on earth and love to my siblings i see in each and every person i encounter #we are made of the same and will eventually return to the same so i will love each everyone so much it hurts #so we can cherish our time together before we go back to nothingness #isnt it silly to think abt consciousness.. like one day i just wont exist anymore and its the exact same as when i have a dreamless sleep #i just wont wake up one day but its okay because i will have experienced a lot ans theres so much more i need to b4 i go #the religion part comes from wanting to be able to believe wholeheartedly and singularly in a higher power that i can trust and love #having an afterlife would be nice but i want to love god while im still here and can wake up in love with life

how come no one told me that when you dont sleep for 11 hours you have more time in the day

#whatever i am still a 9 hour truther #10 hours is best but we cant always have that now can we #reg school days are 5 hours w 2-3 hr nap minimum 7 hrs total #nowadays its 10 hrs minimum 11 hours usually #EXCEPT WHEN I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND I FEEL FINE? WHATEVER.#ig anti-sleep debt exists.. ive been stocking up so my body can pull that #but yea i woke up at 9 am today and like this is cool. i feel better when majority of my waking time is in sync w those in the house

just realized since i put up stars on my ceiling i can make my own constellations

#mind that theyve been up for years now and this thought only just ocurred to md

idk if its just bc i havent exercised in forever anyway but i noticed after i got covid i still have a bit of shortness of breath whenever i do any physical exertion more than like walking

#like sheesh man can i get a break #these past like 3 months have been sooooooooo shit and the fact i got covid during it was like nothing #barely scratched the surface of the mental problems ive been having #i just want to have a breakthru but rn im not even doing anything just setting myself up for failure ig #whatever. good night. ny final mesage

okay ding ding nother dream time idk the last time one of these was the tags say a year ago but idk lol. anyway i go to this new school its kinda like a boarding school in that its secluded and theres multiple grades (or just other sectors of the school?) that are just completely cut off. certain doors just wont open and that seen as a problem but the dean or whatever is acting weird abt it. anyway things are getting weird for me too, like people being continually scared by me or not addressing me but im like whatever. i finally do some snooping around and i go to the other sector with this other teacher and i htink theres no one there but i finally realize my predicament is that im invisible and no one notices me unless i actively try and get their attention. this explains a lot. anyway the teacher and i talk and theyre cool n shit nicer than the dean whos up to god knows what. also some of the deans kids go here and u can see them sitting around sometimes. some of them have egos. anyway im like shadowing this new teachers class and im big chillin mostly just walking around in the class and the kids all point out these keys under some stuff so im like huh and drag them out to a more visible spot. everyones like wtf was that but not rly freaking out. anyway time goes on im shadowing the dean more know because hes being weird and in his like main office building im going around and i meet this guy whos kinda nice mostly a dick and were talking kinda arguing hes like y are you here and im like who cares and hes like me im the deans kid and im like. ok. hes basically in this weird dark basement room thats his bedroom but its still like a basement and not well takn care of. but im like ok. sorry ig. and we become sort of friends but not rly its whatever. anyway the dean is still being weird and im still stressed abt my new predicament and im wondering has my whole life been like this and i didnt notice? how is this happening? but im not rly wondering this all at the end its more stress in the beginning when i still didnt kno what was going on but anyway the dream ends soon after i meet that guy.

#my dweams #that tag feels weird lol its too exposed ig #but whatever lol :+1:#kinda wish this dream was real even tho itd have some seriousdownsides its not like people COULDNT notice me its just hard without me helpin

i always thought people exaggerated when saying teens cant think thru decision and consequences until my brother gets home, knows that moms making dinner, proceeds to make 3 slices of pizza

ive been seeing so many people named bailey lately. im doing it better btw

#jay kay jay kay el oh el

thinking..

#i could finish high school a year early... i just. thers so many other factors..#like would i wanna do a year of cc first then? get more credits b4 i potentially go to a uni? then graduate uni a year early? hmm??#do i wanna take a gap year? work and get money for college? could i work and go to cc?#do i wanna just fuck around for a year lol? prob not but thatd be cool

i kinda brought it upon myself but. its sad when people dont recognize me ever

#even people i knew pretty well too.. idk man...#like. 1 im a teenager ive been growing so ok theres one factor. 2 my hair always changes.#idk idk idk im just sad about it... like who do they remember me as .. just a face and hair color that talked with them somwtimes #i feel like my face is pretty recognizable too! big nose bumpy skin gets red easily #but. alas. my hair is the distinct part. sigh

i swear some kids r trying to get beaten up

#bro.. IM the one with the car.. u are the pedestrian..#i reccomend not making to faces and gestures at me mr 12 year old..#im lucky i didnt register what he did earlier lol mightve given him a middle finger or maybe just make faces back at him

who are you

i live architecture its rly fun and a cool outlet for creativity but then i look into the career a bit and people are like "I NEVER SLEEP. YOU SPEND MONTHS ON A PROJECT JUST MAKING COMPROMISES WITH CLIENTS." and so. i dont think its for me maybe lol

1am. eating nutella bread sandwich n microwave bacon so i can sleep good w carbs in me. i have felt naseous for the past few days n i think it has smth to do w my nutrition. point being, do i think eating this much this late is a good idea? no. do i think i will regret it? yes. do i regret it right now? absolutely not. this all tastes like the best meal ever like im in 5th grade coming home from school n eating a snack

#ughhggg i just thought abt the grease n how this bacon will not help my skin -_- luckily idc that much but.#is this y some people have like. diets n eating times lol? respect

where is tu tu uwaaa meme sheik fox i would like it

okay made my best batch of macarons yet they look a bit ugly and theyre a lil small BUT. they stay together and all came out okay :D needless to say, im very happy with them

#my 4th batch ever (maybe 5th but idk if the ones i made and burnt count lel) and theyre like. okay #definitely not passable at any professional level but they just arent smooth #need to troubleshoot a lil bit #anyways thank you preppy kitchen my favorite man

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