Today we celebrate Michael Jackson. His life, legacy, and overall him as a person is something to hold dearly. Stream his songs and remember him for what he was! We love you, Michael 🤍
One of my friends once told me that she used to get nightmares about the ending of Thriller and I have to giggle because you saw THIS coming out of your closet every night😭
⋆｡‧🎠 ༘⋆° I lost my heart on the carousel to a circus girl…⋆｡‧
⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆🎪⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆
𖤐 𖦹 Thriller era Michael 𖦹 𖤐
♤ summary ♢ : Michael’s in love with one of his colleagues at the carnival. the problem? she pays no mind to him.
♡ disclaimer ♧ : angst — this is all lyric based !! this is also my first published fic here so bare with me, enjoy ! there’s a Paul McCartney and Quincy mention just cause lmao, they can be part of the au too.
— October, 1983 🎈
the annual carnival, what a time to be alive.
pony rides for a dime, little children laughing,
it was a place to be.
this was the perfect job for Michael. he absolutely adored playing the role of a clown. he got to entertain, he loved children, and he overall enjoyed the atmosphere of a place that brought joy to many.
visitors at the carnival loved Michael, or more so, they loved ‘Joker’. Joker was Michael’s clown persona. families gathered around to watch him juggle, play instruments, or even make them balloon animals. he was one of the fan favorites in the place, and when you’re a fan favorite, the carnival directors do everything in their power to keep you to bring in more revenue.
and with that, he sees other colleagues of his that are brought back frequently for their iconic acts. one person in particular was one he saw the most.
————————————————————————
she's from a world of popcorn and candy.
he however, was from a world of disappointment and confusion.
he's a clown, and she was a dancer.
he knew it wouldn't work, but he wanted to take his chances.
the circus in the carnival was the main attraction. Michael saw this girl the most because she was the lead dancer. she had the highest pay and demand out of every other performer. the audience was infatuated. no one knew her name, but they knew a few things off of surface knowledge: she was beautiful, her stage presence flawless, and she had perfect chemistry with everybody she performed with.
by 'everyone', that meant everyone but Joker. she was paired to dance around many different acts. lion tamers, tightrope walkers, magicians, elephant handlers,.. he wanted a chance too! if anything, he wanted the opportunity the most.
"I just don't understand it, Paul... Q told me I was the best clown he's ever hired. is it because you have multiple roles that you got paired with her for tonight's show? what do I have to do?”
Paul took a swig of his water and shook his head. "Michael, you're thinking much too deeply about this. it's not about the amount of positions you take. that lion tamer guy's gotten like 4 shows with her already, you should probably talk to Quincy about this one."
Michael nodded thoughtfully and took a long sip of his orange juice. he sat there pondering his next move.
the next evening Michael got a hold of Quincy, one of the circus directors. he was talking to what seemed to be one of the next potential head performers for the production later before Michael stepped in.
"Quincy, I have something I want to talk about."
Quincy looked over at him and quickly glanced at the contortionist he was speaking to, giving a 'I'll talk to you later' face. "yes Michael?" he fully turned to face him, his expression calm with his arms being crossed.
"I need to be an important figure in tonight’s show.”
Quincy raised an eyebrow and slightly tilted his head. Michael knew how this sounded, so suddenly that it was a bit odd.
“listen, I think that it’d be a huge thing if the audience saw more favorite acts collaborating together.” he stayed silent for a moment to see if he had to further explain.
“I’m not asking to be the headliner tonight but.. I guess what I’m asking is if I could perform during the dancing session. everyone else’s gotten to do so and it’s been successful on all parts. I really think this could be something.”
luckily, this reasoning was what got Quincy to think about it. he nodded approvingly. “yeah, I’ll see what I can pull.”
Michael smiled. “alright. thanks, Q.” it was settled, Joker was going to get a taste of what it’s like to have her attention.
*ੈ🎡
7:30 rolled around, the sky was getting darker and the lightbulbs around the circus tents were getting brighter. it was showtime.
aerobatics, equilibristics, the usual were the first to go on stage. after that, it was his time.
he wasn’t as nervous as he thought he’d be. he walked on the platform and was confident enough that after this, he’d have way more gigs than he used to. he knew how to entertain, he just had to make this girl amused with it too.
he didn’t need to rehearse with her. all of it was improv, he just knew how to keep up. dancing told stories, what else tells stories? mimes. he wasn’t a mime, but he could definitely play off as one.
as Quincy was promised, the audience absolutely ate this up. Quincy quickly stopped Michael backstage after their segment.
“Michael, Michael, phenomenal thing with the unicycle.” Michael giggled and looked down shyly. “I was supposed to juggle for longer.”
“yeah well great work. I’ll be sure to add you in more shows.” he patted his shoulder and walked off. Michael was pretty proud of how tonight went, now he knew there was a bigger opportunity to perform more with who he was eyeing.
there she was, across the room, getting powder patted on her face. he stared from the reflection of the vanity. this was his chance to talk to her. he had to do it fast, she was already getting up.
“it was great performing with-!”
she kept on walking.
he stood still for a second, dumbfounded, watching her disappear into the crowd.
it was pretty hurtful at the moment, and what was worse was that it happened again their next show.
at some point, enough had to have been enough. why Michael kept trying on her specifically was something he didn’t even know himself, but he wanted her to be his.
♤
a week passed, he knew their next scheduled act was going to be the same story. instead of going up to her after the fact, what does he do? he outshines himself and her on stage, pulling out tricks on a whim that he’s never done successfully, but somehow he managed to with the adrenaline rushing through him.
that was for sure going to get her to say something.
♡
"Joker, was it? I don't believe we've met." she slowly smiled.
he raised an eyebrow but returned the smile. "properly you mean? we've worked together three times now.." he awkwardly chuckled. was she seriously that clueless of his existence? maybe it wasn't personal, she's collaborated with tons of people by now.
"hm, yeah.." she eyed him up and down and smiled once more.
he could sense her about to leave, he immediately called out (though she was right there), "-can I buy you popcorn?? across the uh.. street?..." god, why was this embarrassing.
a small giggle escaped her mouth, one that reminded him why he was doing this. "sure."
"...great." he sighed in relief and grinned widely, feeling more confident.
♧
they stopped by a vintage popcorn cart and stood by it silently. she was a really vague person. Michael didn't want to believe the fact that she could potentially be uninterested. what could he bring up as a conversation starter?..
"y'know, I never really see you all that much outside of the circus tent. you always seem to disappear." he munched on his snack, eyes gazing down at her face.
she shrugged and nodded. she seemed to have a calm vibe, was she not interested or really just not talkative?
"I have lots of things scheduled in one day."
Michael hummed in acknowledgement. that made sense, she was a pretty popular dancer.
she sighed and her eyes wandered around, kind of bored. Michael was close to giving up, and then..
gasp
"oh look, a carousel!!" she jumped in excitement and pointed. Michael beamed up too. "you like carousels too??" he asked cheerfully, quickly following her to it right behind her.
as the notes of the calliope started, smooth plastic horses rode up and down, the lights flashing to the beat of the music, the sound of laughter being another part of the noise.
after a few more turns, she started warming up to him. all that was needed was some time outside of their jobs.
"so Joker,"
"Michael."
she giggled. "Michael,.. what made you be part of a carnival crew?"
he looked up at the sky thoughtfully as he slowed down his steps.
"well, I really love working with children. I also enjoy entertaining people. I find it wonderful to bring smiles to millions of faces."
"...and?"
"..and what?"
"well your tone seems like there's more to that."
Michael's face faltered and he hung his head low. "yeah."
...
"I use this job to catch up on all things lost from my childhood. this is the one place where it's excusable to be playful at all times. I didn't get to have that growing up. seeing kids have fun makes me happy, and I'm glad I get to join them."
the unnamed dancer nodded understandingly and looked down as well.
"I get it. I've been dancing for as long as I can remember"
Michael chuckled, diverting the sorrowful mood back to normal.
"I guess that's why you're so good, huh?" he raised his brows at her, she laughed along.
silence filled the air, but it was comfortable.
they returned their path to the main area of the carnival, lights turning off one by one and the employees preparing to go home.
"..I better go now. I share a ride with my team."
he stopped his tracks, facing her now. "alright, get home safely. I didn't catch your name by the way?"
she shook her head, letting a last giggle slip out. "that's a secret for another day."
he grinned in amusement. "so you get to see me be vulnerable and I still have to solve you."
"yep! bye Michael."
"Goodnight..."
he stayed behind, watching her fade away into the distance.
two different people
and he was in love for an instant.
but little did he know he wouldn't see her for another month.
♢
tonight was last night of the carnival being in town, things flew by the same everyday, on the outside though. internally, Michael's heart broke into smaller pieces by the days. the evening prior to this was the one time he saw her again, and she avoided him completely.
he didn't understand why. again, he didn't want to believe she wasn't interested, but it would've been a hell of a lot easier if she just outright said that.
he finished his last performance, kicking imaginary pebbles every step of the way to his seat. he plopped down tiredly and got out of his costume to reveal his regular outfit underneath. all he could focus on was leaving.
he wasn't entirely depressed the whole month, he had his usual routine of having fun with happy families. however, that was during the daytime. nighttime reminded him of that one memory. the memory that made him wonder if there was really a girl or just his imagination. sometimes he could even hear her calling him over the sound of the calliope. once the lights would turn off and the music shut down, his painted smile would droop.
he wandered off and returned to where he started. he sat on a concrete bench next to one of the circus elephants, hoping to gain comfort from being in someone's presence. the loneliness was too much to bear.
his eyes darted up, there she was.
her team packing up,
and her giggling flirtatiously with the elephant handler.
his hand in hers,
leading him to the carousel they once shared.
his eyes lowered in somber, making his pierrot face paint complete.
AGHH SAME but fun fact I actually don’t even have a favorite era, I just simply chose my username because I thought it was fire. The concept of thriller being in a username and theme was also really cool to think about :)
