My therianthropy tends to fluctuate. There will be periods where feeling like my theriotype is pretty strong and times where it's almost nonexistent. Every single time my theriotype doesn't feel as prominent I immediately start to doubt myself and my identity. It's basically an existential spiral. Like; "What's wrong with me?" "Have I just been faking this the whole time?" "Have I been doing this 'Therianthropy' thing wrong?" "What if they think I'm just a poser?" "I dont deserve to call myself a Therian!" And then the animality comes back making me feel really dumb for having worried about it for the 100th time.
I've been awakened for a few years now but I still struggle with the ebb and flow of how non-human I feel. It's not made better by the fact that I don't see similar feelings discussed at all. I'm sure it's because it's not as glamorous of a thing to talk about. Or at least I would hope that's the case, anyway. It's not as cool as a mental shift or phantom limbs. As a matter of fact it sucks to talk about because it just reminds me of the disconnect between my physical body and how I feel spiritually.
I'm not aware of how common this is or isn't but I kind of hate that this is how I experience things. It causes me too much worry. I'd prefer to feel more like a horse 24/7 but unfortunately that's not the case for me. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a little envious of the Therians and Otherkin that always feel a strong sense of their kintypes.
OTHER PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THIS TOO???? HOLY SHIT!!
