Ohhh anon, this is gonna be a fun one! Who wouldn't? They're all so slay
The Thunderbolts* react to...[catching you staring]
Bob
One thing Bob hated the most was being stared at. It made him feel subconscious, like some sort of freak. Did you see the other guy? Were you scared of him?
Or had he just spilled something on his sweater?
"Uh...you're looking at me a lot and it's kinda weird," he mumbled awkwardly, shifting on his feet. "Did I get ketchup on my shirt?" He tugged at his sleeve, unsure why you were suddenly so red. "It's not a problem- I shouldn't have said anything-"
"No, it's fine, Bob," you interrupted, "You're fine." The exact way you emphasized the last word, well, now it was his turn to blush.
"Oh! I see," he looked away shyly, unsure what to say. Why would you want him of all people? He was screwed up, a freak, and a nobody compared to everyone else on the team. Plus, you were this intimidating assassin! How could someone like you...want just Bob?
As if you could read his thoughts, you said in a softer tone, "Bob, I was staring because I like the way you look, but not just that. I like you for you."
Bob wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything, wrapping his arms around you as if he'd been waiting to hear those words a very long time.
Yelena
At this point, you were practically shameless. As much as you wanted to hide it, you couldn't help watching Yelena, noticing her strength, the way her suit fit perfectly and how that blue eyeliner she always insisted on wearing worked somehow really well on her.
"You know, it's rude to stare," Yelena spoke up, looking up from her phone. "Do you have a problem with me?"
"I wasn't staring!" you began-
"Don't try that," she said bluntly. "I'm a trained assassin. I know when someone's watching me. I'm kind of offended you thought I wouldn't. So you have problem?"
"No! No problem," you began, not wanting on her bad side. "I just...uh-" Great! You were an assassin as well, and let yourself get so easily caught. This was even more embarrassing by the minute
Yelena shrugged, "I'm not stupid either. I get it, I do look good in this jacket. It's all the pockets, right?"
Apparently you were the stupid one for ever thinking the literal assassin wouldn't notice.
Bucky:
People often complained about how much Bucky stared, but he had some competition with the newest member of the team.
"Let's cut to the point," Bucky said gruffly as you froze, in the middle of getting some Wheaties. "What's the staring for?"
"You're one to talk about staring," you scoffed, leaning against the counter.
"Fair enough, but why are you staring so much?" he asked with suspicion, looking you over in a way that made you feel like a target. "If you've been sent here as some spy, or with HYDRA-"
"I'm not a spy," you gritted your teeth, weighing the options. On one hand, having Bucky of all people on your back was not good, but the truth was embarrassing.
"I am staring at you, but not because you're a target," heat filled your cheeks. "You're nice to look at or whatever, okay?"
Bucky raised an eyebrow, staring back a moment. "Guess you know why I've been staring at you then," he said bluntly, flashing a half-smile. You nearly choked on your cereal, shocked at how bold he had been. Sure, you'd heard he had been a flirt back in the day, but this?
Then, he added, "How about that book store on 3rd Street? Saturday afternoon?"
"Yeah, sure," you quickly agreed, before running off to your quarters. Had you just agreed to a date?
Ava
Tonight you, Ava, and Yelena had all decided to head out to some new place for a night out after a long week of missions for a break. Ava was actually in a dress, which you had never seen before, and you couldn't tear your eyes away.
"You're drooling," Ava said in that usual smug tone of hers. "It's embarrassing at this point."
True. Lately, you tended to stare at her more often than not, growing flustered the moment she noticed. The two of you were opposites. While you were all kind-hearted and shy, Ava was bold and honestly a bit mean sometimes. You could see the heart under the cold exterior, even if John had laughed at you for thinking so.
"I get it," she went on, taking a sip of the drink she had ordered. "I look nice, but don't get you hopes up."
"Why?" you asked bluntly, making her stare a moment before laughing.
"I'm not available," she said with a hint of a sneer. You shrugged, "Okay, I'll wait for you."
For a moment, she almost flickered from view. Nobody had ever been so honest, or willing to wait. Maybe you weren't as annoying as you seemed.
John
The two of you had been busy training when you caught notice of John lifting. Okay, the guy was the definition of a jerk, but the super soldier serum had done nice things for him.
"Caught you staring," John said in a tone that made you know this was already a mistake. "I get it, don't worry. Captain American and all that-"
"Former Captain America-" you corrected.
John rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever, but sorry to tell you I'm a married man so you'll just have to be disappointed."
"John, you're a divorced man," you answered bluntly. "And who says I'm disappointed?"
John only stared back in surprised. Boy, you had gagged him. Mhhh, maybe you should stare more often just to annoy him.
Alexei
Okay, so you had been staring at him, but you were mostly trying to understand why the guy still insisted on wearing that old red suit.
"Ah! See? Even new member knows the suit works!" he exclaimed. "I still look great! You know, back in the day, I got plenty of attention in this thing-"
"Ew shut up, dad!" Yelena groaned from the corner. "Nobody wants to hear anymore stories of your Red Guardian days!"
"They were glory days, Yelena," he insisted before turning to you. "I give you free pass for limo service for the entire year for having good taste." Alexei smiled and John laughed in the corner as Yelena looked ready for the earth to swallow her.
Well, this misunderstanding was never going to be lived down.
I love the idea that the Thunderbolts team ends up with a bunch of dumb rituals they will defend to the death.
Examples of what i mean by rituals:
They have a lucky statue on the shelf by the elevator that they all tap before they leave. Many times they have had to wait downstairs because someone forgot to tap the statue and had to go up to the top floor, tap it, and then come back down. If they cant go back they will be convinced something terrible will happen.
They have a morning 'pep talk' that supposedly is to help them feel better, but because they are all absolute dumpster fires, the advice is often less than helpful. What is more important is the fact that they are trying to help each other. They are convinced that this helps hold back the Void.
Fighting during meals is strictly forbidden. No shouting. No being mean. No throwing things. If you cant behave, you take a walk. Fighting other times is ok-ish, but they all know how traumatic dinner time was for Bob so they avoid it at all cost.
On that note, 'take a walk' becomes a shorthand for "your being a bigger dick than normal" and involves 1 or both people leaving the room and either going to the gym or walking up and down the stairwell until you tire yourself out and can come back. They have all had to 'take a walk' and most days at least one person is told to take a walk.
Tuesday night is Taco and TV and they order tacos and then all pile onto a giant couch to cuddle and watch movies. Its absolutely mandatory and villians who attack on Tuesdays are more likely to die than any other night. They are all convinced that since the group hug saved the day, it needs to be a regular occurrence or else Void will destroy them all (the fact that they are all touch starved and all benefit from prolonged platonic touch is just a happy side benefit).
There are probably more things than just those. You cant tell me that a team like that full of paranoid, superstitious assholes hasnt created all sorts of things that 'have' to be a certain way. Some rituals are dumb and useless. Others are actually super helpful and healing.
Updates: the lucky statue is a plastic Dolly Parton statue. Alexei found it in the trash and adores it, waxing poetic about The Dolly. One day yelena sarcastically said maybe they should all rub it for good luck. They all laugh and rub it sarcastically, except for John, who calls them childish and refuses to touch it.l. That day on a mission they all come back completely unharmed except for John who got shot in his hand and needs to wear a cast for a few days. Everyone is convinced he got shot because he didnt touch the statue. After that they all pat the statue every time they leave. They install a special shelf for it next to the elevator to make it easier to remember to rub the statue.
Another Update: An important part of the take a walk ritual is that when the person returns from the walk, they get hugs and whatever support the team is capable of providing, not blame or shame or ostracization. They all view it as a good and brave thing that the person was willing to disengage when they need to. Taking a walk isnt a punishment for being bad. Its a chance to stop yourself from going to far. And if someone is gone for too longg, someone always goes looking for them to ensure that they aren't spiralling.
Ava - loves April Fools. It was one of the few holiday activities she could participate in while growing up in a lab. As a Thunderbolt Avenger, she takes her pranks to the next level, taking objects like tv remotes, shoes, John's sheild, and phasing them halfway through a wall and leaving them there. No one knows how to get them out but her.
John - does some classic switcheroos. He replaces everyone's shampoo with mayonnaise, switches the salt for sugar in the kitchen. Alexei gets trapped in the bathroom because John put vaseline on the door knob. Alexei breaks down the door.
Yelena - unbeknownst to the team, she has been preparing for this since January. She has been ordering duplicates of their shoes but a size and a half smaller. She spends March 31st sneaking through everyone's closets and switching all their shoes. The morning of April 1st, she denies even knowing about the holiday.
Bucky - forgot about April Fools until 6am when he was taking a shower and discovered his head was now slathered in mayonnaise. Swore vengeance on John. He goes to John's room and turns all his clothes inside out, hides half his socks, and rearranges all his furniture.
Alexei - makes everyone sandwiches for lunch. No one touches them as they smell a bit too fishy... literally.
Bob - does a half-hearted prank on the team during lunch with confetti poppers. They have been lulled into a false sense of security. The sun goes down, and the team gets a notification there's been a breach in the training center. They grab their guns and cautiously search for the intruder. They open the door and there, standing in the darkness, is Chicken Bob.
Bonus - Sam and Joaquin do a fly-by and spray paint "Avengerz sux" on the Watchtower's windows. (the paint is washable)
Alexei - Seismitoad. A somewhat comically non-threatening, bulky appearance hides incredible strength and practical skills, even able to produce earthquake-like tremors using its body. While a ferocious fighter, it's also popular amongst the elderly.
Ava - Gengar. Can phase in and out of shadows, choosing when to be tangible and when to disappear. May be seen as harsh or creepy, but a dearly beloved mischief-maker by its true fans. Its ghost-type abilities give it exceptional stealth, but it can be strong when it comes to a fight.
Bob - Eevee. Perceived as small and soft and helpless, but can evolve into so many possible forms depending on circumstances and how it's treated. Its unstable genetic makeup could cause it to switch on a dime in the wrong situation, turning a little ball of fluff into a dark, biting Umbreon. Full of possibility and potential just waiting to be unleashed by the right (or wrong) hands.
Bucky - Absol. Solitary by nature though loves to help people, protecting them from natural disasters and threats. However, sometimes being present at the site of disaster during or just before has incorrectly given it a reputation for being a harbinger of doom and destruction. They may live over a hundred years and can be ferocious to fight against, but they prefer to be helpful and protect rather than attack.
John - Hisuian Arcanine. The regular Arcanine was a classic, used by cops and law enforcement. Hisuian Arcanine is showier, darker, and steals the look of a popular favorite, though nobody ever asked for it. To most, the classic Arcanine was fine. Who wanted a different one anyways? Hisuian Arcanine may be fiercely loyal and intensely brave, but when someone says "Arcanine", it's never the one that comes to mind first.
Koda - Zoroark. Capable of casting illusions, it can take on human form and even speak human language, but it's only an illusion. It will always be a Pokémon, no matter how convincing the facade is. It lives and thrives in packs and will go to any lengths to protect its loved ones, even to the point of death. They hold grudges against any who harm their friends and will do their utmost to keep their group united.
Yelena - Pangoro. Appears cranky and hostile and shows its strength plainly, but is kind and gentle with those it considers friends. It does not tolerate the mistreatment of those who are weak and will go to great lengths to protect them. Very aware of its surroundings and impossible to control without its respect, it's loved by lively trainers and can be an amazing component of a team.
what if yelena moved onto natasha's floor in the avengers tower after valentina buys it, and what if friday's somehow still active in the tower, and what if yelena asked for friday to tell stories about her sister, and friday tells her about all the dumb shenanigans that happened over the years and all the pranks that clint and nat pulled, but also things from post-mission meetings, every time that natasha proved herself to be the strongest avenger because she really was
yelena's tearing up as she hears about all the amazing things her sister's done, all the moments she never got to witness but wishes so badly that she could've
YES the Thunderbolts have a fantastic team as family dynamic, yes they are living in Avengers tower, yes history is repeating itself and 2012 tower fics are so back. BUT!
instead of "Alexei eating poptarts" or "Yelena in the vents", we must come up with new headcanons and make history
Bob always does normal domestic chores, often getting in the way of important missions and spy business. "All I'm saying is Bucky is our best sniper" "It would be a much quieter assassination if I just slipped into the condo and cut his—" "Hey sorry guys, anyone have laundry? I'm doing a load"
Yelena and her guinea pig always eat meals together at the dining table. Everyone has their Chinese food or barbeque, meanwhile the rodent is loudly munching on a salad right beside them
Bucky is the mom and always keeps them on track. "Ava you have a dentist appointment in the morning, and bring Bob so they can add him to the insurance. Lena how was therapy? Alexei, I said no vodka until dinner"
Alexei is always coming up with new promotional ideas for the team. Cartoon tv show, cereal, toothpaste flavour...every day he thinks he's come up with the next big thing. Whenever they actually get put into production (Wheaties) he collects and saves it, and won't let anyone use a different product. (He threw out Yelena's frosted flakes and it took both Bucky and John to get her to stop attacking him)
Ava likes to phase and sneak attack her teammates at random. She claims it's for training but really she just thinks it's funny hearing them scream
John gets blamed for everything, even if it isn't his fault. Especially if it isn't his fault: "who ate the last bagel?" "John." "Where's my hair straightener?" "John had it." "Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher?" "Johnnnn"
Clint in the vents and that’s his whole personality because he wasn’t fleshed out in the movies → Ava in the walls and that’s her whole personality because she wasn’t fleshed out in the movies
Thor eating poptarts and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief → Alexei eating Wheaties and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief
Natasha pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because fanon decided she’s just silly like that → Yelena pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because canon decided she’s just silly like that
Bruce being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a bad day → Bob being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a sad day
Steve being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the LAST person on board with this → Bucky being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the last person on board with this
Tony being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapons manufacturer → John being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapon himself
-Gets super invested in making sure everything is set up perfectly
-Insists on giving her guinea pig a seat at the table
-Knows the lyrics to every song sung during the parade and sings aloud just to get on John's nerves
-Most thankful for: Family, and Bob and her guinea pig
Bucky:
-Thanksgiving hasn't felt the same since he found himself decades apart from his family
-The last one he ever went to was at Sam's, and now he's extra grumpy this year
-After living through the Great Depression, he can whip together some really good meals with very little ingredients. Which comes in handy after Val shows up, insisting the team have a traditional Thanksgiving meal for good PR last minute
-Most thankful for: Not being alone another year
John:
-Total football guy. Complains all day when Bob wants to watch holiday movies until Yelena shuts him up
-Eats half the pumpkin pie before dinner
-Is even more obnoxiously loud during the big game just to rage bait Yelena after her singing
Most thankful for: Second chances
Ava Starr:
-Acts nonchalant most of the day, going on about silly American holidays
-Is the best dressed at the table of course
-Secretly gets really invested in the entire thing since it's the first real Thanksgiving she has ever celebrated
Most thankful for: The chance at something normal
Bob:
-At first, he doesn't want to celebrate. Thanksgiving is just another reminder of how awful holidays were growing up
-Watches the parade with Yelena and messes up the lyrics terribly
-Helps Bucky in the kitchen and does all of the dishes after
Most thankful for: Feeling safe with his true family
Alexei:
-Brings a live turkey into the Tower
-Has to chase it down, then convince Bob not to keep it
-Uses his limo to drive the turkey to a nice farm after Yelena and Bob insist
Most thankful for: Family and a new start
Mel:
-Takes all the photos for the Thunderbolts social media pages
this is a fic prompt challenge of the 25 days of christmas for the tb* fandom! any ships, pairings, characters welcome as long as you're within the thunderbolts fandom!
prompts and AO3 collection under the cut :)
here are the prompts:
1. home for the holidays
2. ugly sweater contest
3. festive cocktails or mocktails
4. decorating for christmas
5. ice skating
6. hot chocolate
7. cozy by the fireplace
8. mistletoe
9. christmas tree farm
10. christmas ornaments
11. christmas-themed market
12. gift shopping
13. christmas lights strung up outside apartments/houses
14. baking cookies
15. gingerbread houses
16. freshly fallen snow
17. mittens, gloves or earmuffs
18. building a snowman
19. christmas movie marathon
20. matching christmas pajamas
21. snowball fight
22. candy canes
23. christmas music
24. christmas eve breakfast
25. unwrapping presents
+ bonus!
1. secret santa
2. advent calendar
3. hanging stockings on the mantel
4. christmas cards
5. christmas day feast
if you'd like to do the challenge and want to join the ao3 collection, you can do so here!
A Thunderbolts Thanksgiving
Bucky: Why does Bob have a live Turkey...or should I even ask at this point?
John: Because he's holding dinner hostage!
Bob: He's not dinner and he has a name, you know!
Bucky: A name?
Yelena: His name is Tom...it would be rude not to name him
Bucky: How did he even get here?
Alexei: I bring freshest dinner until daughter decided to keep it as pet like guinea pig
Bucky: We can't keep a pet turkey in the Tower!
*Ava standing confused, thinking this is a normal American holiday*
I keep seeing fandom edits of different groups robbing The Louvre in a thief AU type fic so I thought I’d make this edit instead of adding another abandoned idea to my WIP list.
stormborns
prguitarman
romaincrisis
annaxmalina
titsay
baratheonpilled
izzy806
discoholicmusic
